Oh hey look it’s the new Thanksgiving video from song-and-dance entertainer Bob Dylan. Can you find the secret list of presidents in this holiday polka? And why does Santa/Dylan leave out our two greatest presidents, Barack Obama and George W. Bush Junior? [YouTube]

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  • Click

    Ken DAHHLING!!!! How was your walk on the wildside?

  • Surprised_Still

    I don’t love Jesus, but I will be listening to Dylan’s xMas album.

  • qwerty42

    Ken? How is the book/trek through Californy going?

  • Mr Blifil

    Who the fuck is Ken Layne? Some Moonie stooge? I WANT MY WONKETT BACK

  • Click

    Why is Dylan so elf-loathing?

  • Gorillionaire

    He will never top “Jokerman” video-wise, but this is fun stuff.

  • bitchincamaro

    Never mind Dylan, where the fuck is Jim?

  • hockeymom

    Ken Layne? THE Ken Layne?

  • Mr Blifil

    I only made fun of Ken because I was so depressed that Bob Dylan in his late 60s is having better parties than I’ll ever attend. The wig, hat and scrupulously respectful distance of the camera tells me “terminal illness” so there’s some consolation at least.

  • freakishlystrong

    Ken! Back from going rogue?

  • NopantsMcGee

    That can’t be Dylan. I can make out almost all the words.

  • bitchincamaro

    Needs less meth.

  • Click

    [re=461705]Mr Blifil[/re]: Needs more erotic dancing.

  • ph7

    You may be an editor to Wonkette or True/Slant,
    You may like to snark, you might like to blog
    You may be the heavyweight solo hiker of the world,
    You may be a beatnick with an ample supply of spliffs

    But you’re gonna have to serve somebody, yes indeed Ken Layne
    You’re gonna have to serve somebody,
    Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord
    But you’re gonna have to serve somebody.

  • Godot

    What a ripoff artist.

    How about you write your own material, Dylan, you HACK!

  • Click

    [re=461714]ph7[/re]: “you’re gonna have to serve somebody.”
    I’d go with carving up the fat guy – and give Dylan second helpings.

  • Extemporanus


    How has Sully been treating you?

    Is his treasure trail really shaped like a question mark?

    Are you like totally sore yet, or is it not too bad?

    Is a funk remix of “Also Sprach Zarathustra” really on repeat for the entire 12 hours?

    Do the Patricks have beards, too?

    Do the Patricks even exist, and if so, what do they smell like?

    Do you need a ride home?

    So many questions!

  • JMP

    Dylan doing a Christmas album = I has a sad.

  • whiskey tango foxtrot

    Haters. I like the new weird old bob.

  • Extemporanus

    Tom Waits must be rolling over in his gutter.

    Also, is a “Rusty Santa” what I think it is?

  • shortsshortsshorts

    I recently saw Bob Dylan at the Greek Theater in Berkeley. All of his songs were about how evil the Jews are and the “afro-conspiracy.” I just figured he was getting old, but THIS WILL NOT STAND.

  • the problem child

    Hey Ken! You home for the holidays? Yeah, I’d go in to work to avoid my family, too.

  • bobwurst

    Dylan rocks, who knew Jewish folk dancing was part of the Christmas tradition?
    And Godot, that’s a bit of a stretch, no wonder Vladimir got pissed off and climbed into a cab.

  • Way Cool Larry

    Kind of lame, but I will give him credit for doing probably the most obscure Santa song out there.

  • Brendan M.

    This is what you decide to post after more than a month of silence?!?!

  • Servo

    Now I know how to get rid of the pesky in-laws.

  • user-of-owls

    Isn’t there a meme floating around that posits Dylan as some sort of mumble-mouthed seer whose last few albums predicted catastrophic things like 911 and the economic collapse?

    If so, this year’s War on Christmas is gonna be a dandy!

  • FlownOver

    Bob seems to have borrowed Tom Petty’s hair for the occasion.

  • Zorg

    A shonda…

  • DemmeFatale

    Leave it to Bob to make the Jewy-est Polka/Klezmer Christmas song ever!

  • seriesoftubescleaner


  • widestanceromancer

    [re=461739]Brendan M.[/re]: I know, right. Not so much as an alt-text-able welcome back post, the filthy cock jackal.

  • user-of-owls

    There’s no mystery here. Dylan explained his views on Obama clearly and succinctly in an interview last April:

    “He’s [Obama] looking at a shrunken head inside of a glass case in some museum with a bunch of other people and he’s wondering if any of these people realize that they could be looking at one of their ancestors.”


  • Sharkey

    Maybe Jim hacked Ken’s password. It had to be either “Palin2012” or “NutzTruck!1!”.

  • depraved indifference engine

    Because there’s no reindeer named “Vixush” or “Probama”?

  • shortsshortsshorts

    Oh and WELCOME BACK MR. LAYNE! You were missed by all.

  • Come here a minute

    Preznits? The only ones I heard him mention were President Dasher, President Dancer, President Prancer, President Vixen, President Comet, President Cupid, President Donder, and President Blitzen.

  • Flanders

    [re=461706]freakishlystrong[/re]: Ken is back, Sullivan is gone – something is going on.

  • Jim89048

    We should have expected no less from a Jewish folk icon.
    Welcome back, Ken.

  • kapish

    Everybody wants to be a Frankie Yankovic!

  • Sharkey

    [re=461761]Come here a minute[/re]: Listen closely at the 2:04 mark.

  • KilgoreTrout_XL

    Dylan’s a genius at music and nailing the ‘Tom Petty hairdo’.

  • lawrenceofthedesert

    [re=461715]Godot[/re]: Dylan always has been adroit at appropriating trad melodies for nefarious purposes; one wag estimated that he had copped more than 150, and that was back in the 1970’s. It’s a trick he picked up from Woody Guthrie and especially A.P. Carter, both master thieves (did you know “This Land Is Your Land” shares a melody with a Baptist hymn, “Oh, My Loving Brother”, which Carter also borrowed not once, but twice?). It’s the folk process and it’s okay; anybody who grew up in Hibbing would have been familiar with the Schnitzelbank song, and actually the two melodies are similar, but not the same — and the add-on chorus shtick is as old as “Old MacDonald” and “She’ll Be Comin’ Round the Mountain.” I’ve become ever more of a fan of Malibu Bob over time, even as he got so old and ugly that, to borrow a Moms Mabley line, he has to sneak up on breakfast. He is a master songwriter and has a delightfully absurd sense of humor.

  • Aurelio

    It’s a long way down to here from The Visions of Johanna

  • chascates

    KEN IS ALIVE! Praise Jeebus. And get ready to pass the dressing.

  • TGY

    HE HAS EMERGED FROM THE DESERT! Has he prophecies enough now? Was the peyote too strong? Time will tell.

  • Come here a minute

    [re=461767]Sharkey[/re]: I totally missed that, and yet I was very close. Weird.

  • Sleeves

    :) You magnificent manager I READ YOUR BOOK, already (Manual De Electrónica Y Electricidad Automotrices, right?)

  • Sleeves

    That’s an Albuquerque August, if you include “No Pause for Freerunners!”

    Parkour is reserved for cops.

  • Zorg

    [re=461754]user-of-owls[/re]: Well, sometimes, when there is too much milk sugar in the air, you know, and the White Angel Bitch whispers “Alive is bad” and — by the way, did you know that when I smoke I can draw the smoke into whatever part of my body I want? — then you just have to control the Beatles with this ball point pen clicker like I’m doing right now. — No, Nurse, the meds aren’t right. — So, can we agree that the ocean is basically composed of mattresses?

  • predilectrix

    What else but Dylan news would smoke Ken out? Now if his eminence grise would only record a snowbilly version of “Idiot Wind”…

  • user-of-owls

    [re=461873]Zorg[/re]: Exactly!

  • CapnFatback

    I can’t load the video; what is Jason Schwartzman doing with Santa Claus and being so old?

  • engulfedinflames

    this from the same man who wrote “ghosts of electricity howl in the bones of her face”.

  • Skwerl Nutz

    Gotta love when Jews for Jesus do a Christmas song….

  • DC Hates Me

    This video makes me want to smash Bob Dylan’s house and ruin his polka party .. in a good way.

  • Marlowe

    This more than makes for the Sarah Palin shit.

  • Sleeves

    [re=461720]Extemporanus[/re]: “Also Sprach Zarathustra” Man, that took me back to 1979, when the cassette trade became affordable.

  • Jukesgrrl

    40 days and 40 nights of wandering between an ocean and a desert … I’d come back with a Dylan Christmas album, too.

    Actually I think this is Zimmie’s Bergman period. That video reminded me of Fanny and Alexander … on acid. Really speedy Jewish acid.

  • Up To Here Again

    Three women went in to see Santa.
    When they arrived, he cried out, “Ho! Ho! Ho!”
    So they beat the crap out of him.

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