WHO LAUGHS THIS WAY 'HO HO HO'?  2:25 pm November 18, 2009

Why Is Bob Dylan Racist Against Obama & Dubya?

by Ken Layne

Oh hey look it’s the new Thanksgiving video from song-and-dance entertainer Bob Dylan. Can you find the secret list of presidents in this holiday polka? And why does Santa/Dylan leave out our two greatest presidents, Barack Obama and George W. Bush Junior? [YouTube]

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Hola wonkerados.

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Click November 18, 2009 at 2:28 pm

Ken DAHHLING!!!! How was your walk on the wildside?

Surprised_Still November 18, 2009 at 2:28 pm

I don’t love Jesus, but I will be listening to Dylan’s xMas album.

qwerty42 November 18, 2009 at 2:28 pm

Ken? How is the book/trek through Californy going?

Mr Blifil November 18, 2009 at 2:31 pm

Who the fuck is Ken Layne? Some Moonie stooge? I WANT MY WONKETT BACK

Click November 18, 2009 at 2:31 pm

Why is Dylan so elf-loathing?

Gorillionaire November 18, 2009 at 2:32 pm

He will never top “Jokerman” video-wise, but this is fun stuff.

bitchincamaro November 18, 2009 at 2:33 pm

Never mind Dylan, where the fuck is Jim?

hockeymom November 18, 2009 at 2:35 pm

Ken Layne? THE Ken Layne?

Mr Blifil November 18, 2009 at 2:35 pm

I only made fun of Ken because I was so depressed that Bob Dylan in his late 60s is having better parties than I’ll ever attend. The wig, hat and scrupulously respectful distance of the camera tells me “terminal illness” so there’s some consolation at least.

freakishlystrong November 18, 2009 at 2:36 pm

Ken! Back from going rogue?

NopantsMcGee November 18, 2009 at 2:37 pm

That can’t be Dylan. I can make out almost all the words.

bitchincamaro November 18, 2009 at 2:38 pm

Needs less meth.

Click November 18, 2009 at 2:41 pm

[re=461705]Mr Blifil[/re]: Needs more erotic dancing.

ph7 November 18, 2009 at 2:42 pm

You may be an editor to Wonkette or True/Slant,
You may like to snark, you might like to blog
You may be the heavyweight solo hiker of the world,
You may be a beatnick with an ample supply of spliffs

But you’re gonna have to serve somebody, yes indeed Ken Layne
You’re gonna have to serve somebody,
Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord
But you’re gonna have to serve somebody.

Godot November 18, 2009 at 2:42 pm

What a ripoff artist.


How about you write your own material, Dylan, you HACK!

Click November 18, 2009 at 2:44 pm

[re=461714]ph7[/re]: “you’re gonna have to serve somebody.”
I’d go with carving up the fat guy – and give Dylan second helpings.

Extemporanus November 18, 2009 at 2:44 pm


How has Sully been treating you?

Is his treasure trail really shaped like a question mark?

Are you like totally sore yet, or is it not too bad?

Is a funk remix of “Also Sprach Zarathustra” really on repeat for the entire 12 hours?

Do the Patricks have beards, too?

Do the Patricks even exist, and if so, what do they smell like?

Do you need a ride home?

So many questions!

JMP November 18, 2009 at 2:45 pm

Dylan doing a Christmas album = I has a sad.

whiskey tango foxtrot November 18, 2009 at 2:48 pm

Haters. I like the new weird old bob.

Extemporanus November 18, 2009 at 2:51 pm

Tom Waits must be rolling over in his gutter.

Also, is a “Rusty Santa” what I think it is?

shortsshortsshorts November 18, 2009 at 2:52 pm

I recently saw Bob Dylan at the Greek Theater in Berkeley. All of his songs were about how evil the Jews are and the “afro-conspiracy.” I just figured he was getting old, but THIS WILL NOT STAND.

the problem child November 18, 2009 at 2:52 pm

Hey Ken! You home for the holidays? Yeah, I’d go in to work to avoid my family, too.

bobwurst November 18, 2009 at 2:53 pm

Dylan rocks, who knew Jewish folk dancing was part of the Christmas tradition?
And Godot, that’s a bit of a stretch, no wonder Vladimir got pissed off and climbed into a cab.

Way Cool Larry November 18, 2009 at 2:54 pm

Kind of lame, but I will give him credit for doing probably the most obscure Santa song out there.

Brendan M. November 18, 2009 at 2:54 pm

This is what you decide to post after more than a month of silence?!?!

Servo November 18, 2009 at 2:54 pm

Now I know how to get rid of the pesky in-laws.

user-of-owls November 18, 2009 at 2:54 pm

Isn’t there a meme floating around that posits Dylan as some sort of mumble-mouthed seer whose last few albums predicted catastrophic things like 911 and the economic collapse?

If so, this year’s War on Christmas is gonna be a dandy!

FlownOver November 18, 2009 at 3:03 pm

Bob seems to have borrowed Tom Petty’s hair for the occasion.

Zorg November 18, 2009 at 3:05 pm

A shonda…

DemmeFatale November 18, 2009 at 3:07 pm

Leave it to Bob to make the Jewy-est Polka/Klezmer Christmas song ever!

seriesoftubescleaner November 18, 2009 at 3:08 pm


widestanceromancer November 18, 2009 at 3:09 pm

[re=461739]Brendan M.[/re]: I know, right. Not so much as an alt-text-able welcome back post, the filthy cock jackal.

user-of-owls November 18, 2009 at 3:12 pm

There’s no mystery here. Dylan explained his views on Obama clearly and succinctly in an interview last April:

“He’s [Obama] looking at a shrunken head inside of a glass case in some museum with a bunch of other people and he’s wondering if any of these people realize that they could be looking at one of their ancestors.”



Sharkey November 18, 2009 at 3:13 pm

Maybe Jim hacked Ken’s password. It had to be either “Palin2012″ or “NutzTruck!1!”.

depraved indifference engine November 18, 2009 at 3:14 pm

Because there’s no reindeer named “Vixush” or “Probama”?

shortsshortsshorts November 18, 2009 at 3:16 pm

Oh and WELCOME BACK MR. LAYNE! You were missed by all.

Come here a minute November 18, 2009 at 3:17 pm

Preznits? The only ones I heard him mention were President Dasher, President Dancer, President Prancer, President Vixen, President Comet, President Cupid, President Donder, and President Blitzen.

Flanders November 18, 2009 at 3:17 pm

[re=461706]freakishlystrong[/re]: Ken is back, Sullivan is gone – something is going on.

Jim89048 November 18, 2009 at 3:19 pm

We should have expected no less from a Jewish folk icon.
Welcome back, Ken.

kapish November 18, 2009 at 3:20 pm

Everybody wants to be a Frankie Yankovic!

Sharkey November 18, 2009 at 3:20 pm

[re=461761]Come here a minute[/re]: Listen closely at the 2:04 mark.

KilgoreTrout_XL November 18, 2009 at 3:25 pm

Dylan’s a genius at music and nailing the ‘Tom Petty hairdo’.

lawrenceofthedesert November 18, 2009 at 3:28 pm

[re=461715]Godot[/re]: Dylan always has been adroit at appropriating trad melodies for nefarious purposes; one wag estimated that he had copped more than 150, and that was back in the 1970′s. It’s a trick he picked up from Woody Guthrie and especially A.P. Carter, both master thieves (did you know “This Land Is Your Land” shares a melody with a Baptist hymn, “Oh, My Loving Brother”, which Carter also borrowed not once, but twice?). It’s the folk process and it’s okay; anybody who grew up in Hibbing would have been familiar with the Schnitzelbank song, and actually the two melodies are similar, but not the same — and the add-on chorus shtick is as old as “Old MacDonald” and “She’ll Be Comin’ Round the Mountain.” I’ve become ever more of a fan of Malibu Bob over time, even as he got so old and ugly that, to borrow a Moms Mabley line, he has to sneak up on breakfast. He is a master songwriter and has a delightfully absurd sense of humor.

Aurelio November 18, 2009 at 3:35 pm

It’s a long way down to here from The Visions of Johanna

chascates November 18, 2009 at 3:40 pm

KEN IS ALIVE! Praise Jeebus. And get ready to pass the dressing.

TGY November 18, 2009 at 3:46 pm

HE HAS EMERGED FROM THE DESERT! Has he prophecies enough now? Was the peyote too strong? Time will tell.

Come here a minute November 18, 2009 at 3:47 pm

[re=461767]Sharkey[/re]: I totally missed that, and yet I was very close. Weird.

Sleeves November 18, 2009 at 3:59 pm

:) You magnificent manager I READ YOUR BOOK, already (Manual De Electrónica Y Electricidad Automotrices, right?)

Sleeves November 18, 2009 at 4:15 pm

That’s an Albuquerque August, if you include “No Pause for Freerunners!”

Parkour is reserved for cops.

Zorg November 18, 2009 at 4:26 pm

[re=461754]user-of-owls[/re]: Well, sometimes, when there is too much milk sugar in the air, you know, and the White Angel Bitch whispers “Alive is bad” and — by the way, did you know that when I smoke I can draw the smoke into whatever part of my body I want? — then you just have to control the Beatles with this ball point pen clicker like I’m doing right now. — No, Nurse, the meds aren’t right. — So, can we agree that the ocean is basically composed of mattresses?

predilectrix November 18, 2009 at 4:38 pm

What else but Dylan news would smoke Ken out? Now if his eminence grise would only record a snowbilly version of “Idiot Wind”…

user-of-owls November 18, 2009 at 4:47 pm

[re=461873]Zorg[/re]: Exactly!

CapnFatback November 18, 2009 at 5:21 pm

I can’t load the video; what is Jason Schwartzman doing with Santa Claus and being so old?

engulfedinflames November 18, 2009 at 5:35 pm

this from the same man who wrote “ghosts of electricity howl in the bones of her face”.

Skwerl Nutz November 18, 2009 at 5:53 pm

Gotta love when Jews for Jesus do a Christmas song….

DC Hates Me November 18, 2009 at 5:56 pm

This video makes me want to smash Bob Dylan’s house and ruin his polka party .. in a good way.

Marlowe November 18, 2009 at 6:08 pm

This more than makes for the Sarah Palin shit.

Sleeves November 18, 2009 at 7:57 pm

[re=461720]Extemporanus[/re]: “Also Sprach Zarathustra” Man, that took me back to 1979, when the cassette trade became affordable.

Jukesgrrl November 19, 2009 at 12:43 am

40 days and 40 nights of wandering between an ocean and a desert … I’d come back with a Dylan Christmas album, too.

Actually I think this is Zimmie’s Bergman period. That video reminded me of Fanny and Alexander … on acid. Really speedy Jewish acid.

Up To Here Again December 25, 2009 at 6:49 am

Three women went in to see Santa.
When they arrived, he cried out, “Ho! Ho! Ho!”
So they beat the crap out of him.

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