WAGG THE BOG  3:38 pm November 19, 2009

Mark Foley Misses The Good Life, And Levi Johnston Fears Sarah’s Evil Cackle

by Riley Waggaman

Personality Parade!

Hoochiemama! Teenage cumsicle LEVI JOHNSTON shan’t be accepting the generous Turkey Day invitation from SARAH PALIN, who selflessly offered her home to Levi on national teevee! “You could tell by her laugh she was full of it,” explained Levi. And by “it,” Levi meant “a deep-seated desire to punch me, Levi Johnston, in the dick.” Stay away from Levi’s junk, Sarah! It is his livelihood …

GOSSIP THE LIBERAL MEDIA WON’T TELL YOU: REP. KENDRICK MEEK (D-FLA) gave a shout-out to his righteous Omega Psi Phi fraternity brothers. Who could forget those booze-crazed days? Certainly not Meek’s pickled liver … MARK FOLEY loves watching “health care debates” on C-SPAN and can’t wait for the first season to come out on DVD … REP. PAUL HODES (D-NH), a staunch pro-puppy liberal, spent his Tuesday evening live-blogging the entire State of New Hampshire. Did we mention that he’s also running for U.S. Senate? Paul, so ambitious! …

After much deliberation and hand-wringing and so forth, the HOUSE OVERSIGHT COMMITTEE concluded that BANK OF AMERICA sent federal regulators so many hookers and fruit baskets — hookers in fruit baskets — that it would have been rude and in poor taste if the bank was denied billions of taxpayer dollars to buy Merrill Lynch. Case closed.

Riley Waggaman’s WAGG THE BOG appears constantly here at Wonkette. Send your hot gossip to the usual tips@wonkette.com

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queeraselvis v 2.0 November 19, 2009 at 3:47 pm
Joshua Norton November 19, 2009 at 3:48 pm

Well, not to be petty and evil and mean (oh my!) – but rumor hazzit that Levi’s trunk may be a little junkless.


Click November 19, 2009 at 3:53 pm
germansteel November 19, 2009 at 3:58 pm

Know what Levi’s middle name is? Taytin.

Levi Taytin Johnston. Get It? Levitatin’ Johnston.

Sorry. Won’t happen again.

Brendan M. November 19, 2009 at 4:01 pm

I started reading that Paul Hodes puppy story and felt my eyes start to moisten, so I immediately closed that page. I’m going back to that story about Virginia Foxx being a racist bitch, ’cause I want a five-minute hate, not a five-minute cry.

Accordion-o-rama November 19, 2009 at 4:07 pm

“If it’s in your DNA to be a public servant — or at least participate in the political discourse — it’s impossible, regardless of how you leave your job, to divorce yourself from that, because it’s still an important part of your life,” said Foley.

And if anyone knows about putting your DNA into public servants, it’s Foley.

Rascalcat November 19, 2009 at 4:39 pm

Hey, looky! Riley has a post that doesn’t link to Red State or Hot Air.

Way to go, Riley! You’ll get the hang of this yet.

Humpback November 19, 2009 at 4:43 pm

Paul Hodes is no fool. Those live-blogs are a heckuva lot safer than real live townhalls, where your second amendment rights can be quite troublesome.

facehead November 19, 2009 at 5:52 pm

Any paragraph starting with “Hoochiemama!” is infallible.

Umbrageofsnow November 19, 2009 at 6:06 pm

By live-blogging, you mean Rep. Hodes posted roughly 5 prepared policy statements and then spent 45 minutes playing text twist with himself. Sadly, most of his competition in New Hampshire tends to value puppies solely for their nutritional value, so I keep voting for him.

S.Luggo November 19, 2009 at 6:30 pm

In other news:
1. It’s beginning to look at lot like Christmas.

2. US Rep. Todd Tiahrt & Sodomy
Questions remain. “Per os” or “per anus“? Tiahrt remains silent.
Tiahrt Campaign Staffer Resigns Following Sex Charges – November 18, 2009

3. SC GOP operative who made racist Obama joke* arrested for ‘dirty campaign tricks’
Wednesday, November 18th, 2009

Fn: The operative’s ‘joke’: JUST HEARD OBAMA IS GOING TO IMPOSE A 40% TAX ON ASPIRIN BECAUSE IT’S WHITE AND IT WORKS http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2009/06/south-carolina-gop-operative-doesnt-deny-racist-tweet-against-obama.php

cenghan November 21, 2009 at 7:56 pm

I started reading that Paul Hodes puppy story and felt my eyes start to moisten, so I immediately closed that film izle film izle page. I’m going back to that story about Virginia Foxx being a racist bitch, ’cause I want a five-minute hate, not a five-minute cry

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