• May 27, 2012

Joe Biden Vaguely Connected To Another Car Crash

by Jim Newell  9:16 pm November 17, 2009

One week after killing someone, Joe Biden’s bloodthirsty stampede of vehicles has struck again. An NYPD car leading his motorcade crashed into a “livery cab” on its way to a Daily Show taping this afternoon. (Joe Biden’s on the Daily Show tonight — maybe he’ll have one of his patented “gaffes”!) These people driving cars tangentially connected to the vice president, who are they? And yes, it’s been several months, so Bob Novak jokes are cool. [NYDN, photo via "fleshtone" at Gothamist]

{ 65 comments }

HipHopOpotamus November 17, 2009 at 9:24 pm

At least tomorrow when he’s at the Washington Hospital Center, there’ll be doctors nearby.

Click November 17, 2009 at 9:24 pm

Well I’d like to know how the cab got livery in the first place. Had he already hit someone earlier?

El Pinche November 17, 2009 at 9:27 pm

Dont worry Bidey, three times one minus one is gonna make it ayyyyite. Pccch..Damn.

Texan Bulldoggette November 17, 2009 at 9:35 pm

Wow, & all Darth Cheney did was shoot an old guy in the face. Who’s got the bigger set now, huh, Dick?

AxmxZ November 17, 2009 at 9:39 pm

Who the fuck did they hire to drive those things? Are we going to hear next about Barry’s driver running a red light through a throng of people and yelling “FIFTY POINTS!”

you cannot be serious November 17, 2009 at 9:40 pm

I’ve always thought Joe Biden was slammin’.

glamourdammerung November 17, 2009 at 9:41 pm

I was not aware that “death panel” was the name of the Biden motorcade.

CanadianBacon November 17, 2009 at 9:43 pm

Both cars had the bumper sticker “Allah is my Pilot”, so it’s officially terrorism.

glamourdammerung November 17, 2009 at 9:43 pm

[re=461168]AxmxZ[/re]: Needs more Death Race 2000.

Click November 17, 2009 at 9:43 pm

“His registration was current but was revoked several times in recent years for lack of automobile insurance, state records show.”
Figures he’d have a Checkered past.

SayItWithWookies November 17, 2009 at 9:44 pm

Eh, a cab took the front off a police car that was “scouting” (?!) the route ahead of the motorcade. Only way they can stick this on Joe is if they spread the rumor that, contrary to his appearance as a benevolent yokel, he’s actually such a hardass type-A that he terrifies his drivers into speeding through red lights and zipping along dark parkways so fast that they can’t avoid the stray pedestrian. I’m not sure that anyone would buy it, though.

Decker November 17, 2009 at 9:51 pm

Novak jokes were cool before his body even chilled.

I’m kidding, of course. Everybody knows his heart beat nothing but cold, cold blood and his bowels produced nothing but cold, cold scat.

MGBYG November 17, 2009 at 9:52 pm

Damn, with this involving Mr. Stewart, I knew it was the Joos.

Holy Cow!! November 17, 2009 at 9:56 pm

He’s trying to beat Clinton’s “body count.”

WadISay November 17, 2009 at 10:00 pm

How in the hell has any Amtrak train made it between Washington and Wilmington for the last 30 years?

Fox News Light November 17, 2009 at 10:02 pm

I thought this was funny until I remembered his first wife and kids died in a car accident.

Then it wasn’t funny no more.

Truck Nutz?

Click November 17, 2009 at 10:07 pm

[re=461189]Fox News Light[/re]: My advice? Drink more and you won’t have to remember things like that.

stumpycuse November 17, 2009 at 10:08 pm

“the ambulances will have to wait their turn”

Jim Newell November 17, 2009 at 10:15 pm

[re=461189]Fox News Light[/re]: Goddamnit.

Yoko Ono November 17, 2009 at 10:16 pm

Wasn’t this an old Stalin trick?

magic titty November 17, 2009 at 10:22 pm

These things happen in threes.

sati demise November 17, 2009 at 10:26 pm

Is the horse OK?

’cause peta will be on his ass if anything bad happened to ol’ Dobbin.

btwbfdimho November 17, 2009 at 10:28 pm

It’s Biden’s campaign for public transportation. Go Joe!

bitchincamaro November 17, 2009 at 10:30 pm

Whatever happened to just cold throwing motherfuckers under a bus? Heenghh??

Reefpilot November 17, 2009 at 10:32 pm

Chappaquiddick land shark.

chascates November 17, 2009 at 10:35 pm

Did they have to shoot the horse? Or the driver? Biden should just appear via video uplink from now on.

bitchincamaro November 17, 2009 at 10:47 pm

[re=461181]Decker[/re]: So fucking funny, I have relapsed into my coma/bed. Nite nite, from the slightly eastern bowel boro of NYC.

rottenart November 17, 2009 at 10:51 pm

[re=461207]Reefpilot[/re]: Somehow, I’m just picturing a besotted Teddy K. wandering around the capitol wearing nothing but silk polka-dot boxers and a shark fin strapped to his head.

Actually if Heaven is anything like I wish it was, that’s exactly what he’s doing right now.

foulmouthed mrscreant November 17, 2009 at 10:53 pm

The driver(s) must be Rush bots, “scouting” while really desiring to be teabagging and going rogue on someone instead.

MGBYG November 17, 2009 at 10:57 pm

[re=461195]Jim Newell[/re]: But, I don’t believe his family was killed by Spiro Agnew’s motorcade, so…narrowly defined humour?

Extemporanus November 17, 2009 at 11:10 pm

[re=461189]Fox News Light[/re]: If this ever-changing world in which we live in makes you give in and cry…

Say livery and let divery.

It’s what Biden, Joe Biden, would’ve wanted.

President Beeblebrox November 17, 2009 at 11:11 pm

Strident RedState column about how Biden doesn’t care about other people on the road in 3… 2… 1…

Extemporanus November 17, 2009 at 11:15 pm

[re=461176]Click[/re]: When one’s name is “Zahid Butt”, getting one’s record wiped clean is all but impossible.

the problem child November 17, 2009 at 11:16 pm

Poor Joe isn’t driving a train no more.

LowerdPeninsula November 17, 2009 at 11:29 pm

Joe’s were-motorcade strikes again! How many more lives and insurance policies have to die/be managled before something is done about this? Won’t someone think of the children, lives, and insurance policies? Won’t anyone think of the children, lives and insurance policies. Good god, man.

edgydrifter November 17, 2009 at 11:35 pm

And Killer Joe laughs his ass off, swigging Cristal straight from the bottle with the bass thumping as he rolls off into the night.

Downtheroadapiece November 17, 2009 at 11:35 pm

Let me let you all in on a little secret. With budgets being what they are these days and the extra load created by nutso wingnuts on the PoTUS’s detail, ‘Ol flappy gums doesn’t actually have a full secret service detail anymore and he’s driving himself. And with all those years spent riding commuter rail, his driving skills are rather lacking anymore…mistakes were made.

Extemporanus November 17, 2009 at 11:42 pm

[re=461207]Reefpilot[/re]: Dude! That band is fucking killer!

shortsshortsshorts November 17, 2009 at 11:51 pm
Extemporanus November 18, 2009 at 12:02 am

[re=461202]sati demise[/re]: [re=461209]chascates[/re]: Unfortunately, he had to be put down.

He was sired by an Arabian father, born to a mare attracted to studs of the Triple Crown and reared by handlers in Hawaii, a paradise furlongs from the American mainstream.

Mr Blifil November 18, 2009 at 12:15 am

[re=461244]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I would hit that.

tootsieroll November 18, 2009 at 12:21 am

Somewhat on topic given that Joe was on his way to TDS…

Jon has Lou Dobbs on tomorrow.

Could be fun.

aleks November 18, 2009 at 12:23 am

Novak jokes were cool the day he died, which wasn’t itself cool but less uncool than most people’s deaths would have been.

Lascauxcaveman November 18, 2009 at 12:28 am

[re=461187]WadISay[/re]: How in the hell has any Amtrak train made it between Washington and Wilmington for the last 30 years?

Oh, the trains make it through just fine. But with an enormous toll of cows, negroes and dogs.

gurukalehuru November 18, 2009 at 12:31 am

This is weird. Like WTF, beyond the reasonable bounds of coincidence weird.

shortsshortsshorts November 18, 2009 at 12:36 am

[re=461253]gurukalehuru[/re]: Don’t worry, we can blame the Jews for all of it. And the gays, also.

kewlguy42069 November 18, 2009 at 12:41 am

Harriet I killed a kid

JFD8 November 18, 2009 at 12:58 am

It’s safer for you to go stridin’
Than ride in the fleet of Joe Biden
The accident rate
Means his ship of state
Will be rechristened Poseidon.

News Short n’ Sweet by JFD8
http://twitter.com/JFD8

Bearbloke November 18, 2009 at 1:29 am

[re=461248]Mr Blifil[/re]: I hit it 4 times – biatch!

imissopus November 18, 2009 at 1:53 am

A Twitter whore! That’s a new one.

Extemporanus November 18, 2009 at 2:00 am

[re=461261]JFD8[/re]: RABBLEROUSER!!1

There once was a tweetwhore named JFD8
Who thought posting twittericks was something great
But sweet news it’s not
When it’s just a dumb twat
That needs to meet the cruel banhammer of fate!

gurukalehuru November 18, 2009 at 3:40 am

[re=461268]Extemporanus[/re]:
Clever rhyming, poetry slammer
but a bit too quick with the ol’ banhammer

glamourdammerung November 18, 2009 at 5:42 am

[re=461253]gurukalehuru[/re]: The VP motorcade did 9/11?

I can hardly wait for the Alex Jones crowd to start on that one.

Extemporanus November 18, 2009 at 7:42 am

[re=461279]gurukalehuru[/re]: A considerate couplet, the gist of which I did consider.

However, a perusal of le Google prior to poet-izing made it clear that WWJFD8 has a habit of leaving self-linked twitter ditties on this and other sites (e.g. POLITICO), and little—if anything—else.

Had even a few non-copy & pasted comments been in evidence, I would’ve played it cool. But with clueless humortards like rabblerouser42 continuing to run roughshod as of late, my tolerance is admittedly low.

x111e7thst November 18, 2009 at 8:31 am

In the absence of a denial by WWJDF8 I am forced to conclude that he(?) and rabblerouser42 are in fact one and the same.

WIDTAP November 18, 2009 at 8:44 am

[re=461189]Fox News Light[/re]: Does it become funny again when Biden goes on the Daily Show and lamely jokes about how New York doesn’t have nearly the amount of traffic he remembers?

Or is that still counted as a gaffe?

bhosp November 18, 2009 at 8:57 am

[re=461189]Fox News Light[/re]: You just made me remember when he almost cried during the VP debate. Biden + Car Crash = NOT FUNNY EVAR.

Fox News Light November 18, 2009 at 9:11 am

[re=461195]Jim Newell[/re]: Sorry Jim. My B.

(just send me my iphone)

Don't Mess with Joe November 18, 2009 at 9:25 am

See, this is what happens when you mess with Joe. Just sayin.

Mahousu November 18, 2009 at 9:51 am

I’m telling you, vice presidents are nothing but stone-cold killers. You have Aaron Burr, (no doubt a bunch of others I’m forgetting), Dick Cheney and now Joe Biden. They are the scourge of America.

pub_option November 18, 2009 at 9:56 am

[re=461196]Yoko Ono[/re]: I’m not sure about Stalin, I think he liked more obvious ways to kill people, but some of Idi Amin’s enemies died in ‘car accidents’.

Flanders November 18, 2009 at 10:09 am

[re=461285]x111e7thst[/re]: Wait, wasn’t WWJDF8 there when Glenn Beck raped and murdered that girl back in 1980? He certainly hasn’t denied it.

depraved indifference engine November 18, 2009 at 10:39 am

Old Joe did as he said he would,
took all the shopping carts from all the malls
and brought them to Utah, which was Zion.

Bruno November 18, 2009 at 8:18 pm

You would think the most secure way from getting from place to place in NY is by taxi. No one will ever suspect you are anyone important. But god help you if you don’t tip

2sayf November 20, 2009 at 1:28 pm

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