Glenn Beck’s wingnut bitch, Doug Hoffman, the Conservative Party’s losing candidate in the NY-23 special election several weeks ago (remember that whole thing??), is so clueless about his current station in life that he has “unconceded” defeat to Democrat Bill Owens, who was sworn into the House on November 6 — just in time for a health care vote! He was losing by 5,000 until some late ballots were counted a few days ago, which brought the margin down to about 3,000. And yeah, sure, maybe Al Gore famously unconceded to George Bush Junior in 2000, BUT LIKE AN HOUR AFTER CONCEDING, JESUS. About 10,000 absentee ballots remain, and Hoffman has like a 0.2% chance of winning. It was Glenn Beck who ordered him to unconcede, which makes sense, because Doug Hoffman is Glenn Beck’s wingnut bitch. [The Hill]
OH BOY
November 17, 2009
Failed Wingnut Loser ‘Unconcedes’ NY-23 Race
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{ 122 comments }
That dude’s yellow teeth freak me the fuck out.
Did you photoshop those teeth? They are terrifying; Dobbs-esque
What’s with the green teeth? Is he running for president of England?
Jaysus, dude, get some of that tooth whitening toothpaste. You look like you smoke 3 packs a day.
Would somebody please buy that guy some teeth-whitening toothpaste? Man.
Why the hell is Holly Johnson running for Congress?
Who’s hope-y now?
[re=460614]Terry[/re]: You eat enough ass, your teeth get brown.
I would like to “unconsee” Hoffman’s bamboo gum stumps.
[re=460616]You Will Be Towed[/re]: Yes, well … I guess we all agree.
Tooth-whitening is socialisms!
To ask a serious question, WTF is taking so long to count the absentee ballots?
I, all by myself could have counted 10,000 of those things by now!
Too many teeth!
Cripes! If they let the guy win does he get a half-way decent dental plan? Cuz if so…you know, maybe throw him a bone.
What’s the deal with that guy’s teeth?
Reality has a liberal bias.
[re=460631]Come here a minute[/re]:
That’s an awesome shade of Glen Bekc Cum Yellow.
Tooth-scraper STAT!
Such a moron, he wanted to go ahead and lose twice.
And of course, when Gore unconceded (with a margin of about 500 votes, in an entire large state), the Republicans responded with “Sore/Loserman” signs and demands that, for the good of the country, he immediately step aside and let the recount end. Once again, the conservatives have completely different standards depending on whether it will help or hurt their party – hell, in the Franken/Coleman race, they actually switched from one standard to the other in the same recount.
Looks like he unbrushes his teeth three times a day.
And it sooo worked in MN with whatzisname.
Today, we are all yellow-teethed, wingnut bitches of Glenn Beck. Who lost NY 23 also.
[re=460611]Dave J.[/re]: I actually get kind of nauseated looking at his face. Good to know it’s not an uncommon reaction.
I did not even notice his teeth. I was lost in his eyes….
Accepting career advice from Glenn Beck is about as risky as undergoing a vasectomy performed by Glenn Beck.
I went to “the hill” and read the piece, and then I read some of the comments, and now I am going to go throw up lunch. I really shoulda known better.
[re=460654]Humpback[/re]: Uh – only one of which appears to be wandering. How does he do that?
[re=460646]seriesoftubescleaner[/re]: Thank you for that.
Am I the only one who’s noticed that this piece of shit looks like he hasn’t brushed his teeth in the last 20 years?
[re=460659]geminisunmars[/re]: “Dimocrat” HAW HAW HAW That’s funny right there.
[re=460646]seriesoftubescleaner[/re]: With Tartar Out-of-Control Crust® and a stiff jock strap.
[re=460654]Humpback[/re]: I’m smitten with the lazy one. The other? Not so much.
[re=460660]Click[/re]: That is why he and Palin wear glasses, to try and camouflage that. He should try to add a little bit of fluffy hair-do around the temples, because that works for her. Also.
What’s with all the carping on the guy’s looks? I mean, how many of us look as bad as he does, or worse? Probably all of us, since this is the internet, where everyone is a hideous monster hiding behind a half-inch-square cartoon next to a made-up name. But at least we have the decency to not freak the world out by actually showing up in it. Yeah! So what’s your excuse, Hoffman, you yellowtoothed sharkmouthed wingnut monster? Huh? I mean really!
[re=460665]Dolmance[/re]: No, everyone seems strangely hypnotized by his teeth.
Beautiful candidates attract beautiful supporters.
[re=460654]Humpback[/re]: Thanks a lot; now I can’t get Debbie Gibson out of my head.
[re=460660]Click[/re]: [re=460668]Extemporanus[/re]: Don’t be cross—I didn’t see what you did there.
A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!
…But I’ll settle for just the mouth.
[re=460645]JMP[/re]:
And that’s why we “love” them so much. Rules only matter if they’re in their favor.
Somewhere, a state school is missing a client.
The non-stop horrid toof-whitening ads all over the Internets have worked to shape the snark of even Wonktards. I for one welcome our Internet ad placement overlords.
Terrific, I will look forward to hearing this carpetbagging twit concede defeat twice.
[re=460644]Gorillionaire[/re]: If he wants to get whipped again, he should just find a nice girl and pay her.
[re=460667]Mustang[/re]: What a witfest they are having at that site. I may have to abandon Wonkette and go lurk there, for the lulz.
Who is his dentist? Oily “Hornier Wetter” Taintz?
[re=460676]Extemporanus[/re]: I’m no eyeswhore.
STOP THE RECOUNT!!1! (yelled in exceptionally loud, strident, wing-nutty, year 2000-ish voice)
I worked on the Owens’ campaign and I’m about as worried of Hoffman winning as I am of armageddon in 2012. Why does everyone want me to be so fucking irrational? It’s a pretty weird world when you have to read Wonkette everyday just to keep your brain functioning right…
Eleanor Roosevelt called … she wants her mouth back.
HE COULD DO IT! He could take back America from the Dim-o-crats. (I was just reading the wing-nut commentary from The Hill’s comments section. “Dimocrat” guffaw! Get it because they is so dim and such stupids and less better than that other political party that delivered America to it’s golden age of promise until that Nanny Pelosi and Obummer turned America into frigging socialist hell.)
I am mesmerized by his amazingly huge forehead. So inviting a target it is, especially when one is swinging a sledgehammer.
I don’t care about his teeth, it is his milquetoastiness I find fascinating. Beck asks him a couple of times if he is going to “unconcede” and he finally concedes that he will unconcede. Beck’s bitch indeed.
[re=460694]slithytoves[/re]: This is your sanity on TruckNutz.
It is well-documented that one of the more common causes of badly stained and misshaped teeth is HOOKWORM!
I think he needs to be introduced to floss, too.
Damn, that is an ugly mouth.
The teefs aren’t yellow, it’s just that the skin in so fucking orange. Josef Albers taught us that in color theory class, dint he?
[re=460694]slithytoves[/re]: BUT DID YOU actually SEE the movie 2012? ARCS, doods. ARCS.
SPOILER ALERT: You can’t turn on the engine without the door being closed!!!11!11
[re=460699]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: The hugeness is an optical illusion caused by his unconceding hairline.
[re=460706]user-of-owls[/re]: That’s what he gets for eating too many iced-creameconiums as a kid.
A Conservative reaching a hasty, irreversible conclusion? Nah!
I want to unconcede not being born a Rockefeller.
It’s not easy being green
It seems you blend in with so many other ordinary things
And people tend to pass you over ’cause you’re
Not standing out like flaky wingnuts on cable news
Or stars in the sky
But green’s the color of Spring
And green can be cool and friendly-like a smile
And green can be big like an ocean, or important
Like a mountain, or tall like a tree
When green is all your teeth seem to be
It could make you wonder why, but why wonder why
Wonder, they are green and it’ll do fine, it’s beautiful
And I think it’s what I want them to be
ELECTIONS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY.
Hoffman hasn’t unconceded. He’s not contesting. http://tinyurl.com/fuhoffman
[re=460658]ph7[/re]: Has Glenn Beck denied that he raped and killed that girl in 1980?
i googled this guy and found out that he’s going to be keynoting our state GOP’s next big fundraising hoohah. He’s the new Joe the Plumber, only without the bald head to draw attention away from his teeth…and he’s also some millionaire from New York (right?).
[re=460720]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: [re=460706]user-of-owls[/re]: “SPOILER ALERT: You can’t turn on the engine without the door being closed!!!11!11″
That was a chapter in Halo 2 – amirite?
What’s up with the pictures of geeky, acne-riddled, skinny wingnuts on Wonkette today? Between this guy’s teeth and Incontinetti’s insincere smirk, I think I might have just become a lesbian.
[re=460692]Click[/re]: If someone tried to skullfuck me, I’d socket it to them, too.
[re=460723]Click[/re]: The itsy bitsy HOOKWORM climbed up the wingnut’s snout…
Hey, I found a “better” picture of HIS TEETH!
[re=460729]Flanders[/re]: No, but he also hasn’t unconceded it!
[re=460734]Extemporanus[/re]: I love your aqueous humor.
[re=460658]ph7[/re]: But you jest. Glenn would never sensate another man’s nether regions … with his hands.
Looks like he conceded the dental hygiene battle long ago. Hopefully he’ll unconcede that as well.
He didn’t afford veneers, like we (a catty British-original condominium in the Americas) can.
[re=460727]snideinplainsight[/re]: I wept.
[re=460733]Madeline[/re]: Exactly. I fear I’m too traumatized to have healthy sex with a man’s mouth again.
[re=460729]Flanders[/re]: I think it was 1991 or 2, and no he hasn’t. Hookworm {also}
Has anybody mentioned his teeth? I mentioned them once, but I think I got away with it OK.
[re=460760]widestanceromancer[/re]: I’m so glad I’m married. Goodbye, toothbrush!
[re=460759]S.Luggo[/re]: But why wonder why?
Tales of Hoffman — Hoffman’s first love is Beck, an automaton created by the scientist Murdoch. Hoffmann falls in love with Beck, not knowing that Beck is a mechanical doll (Allons! Courage et confiance…Ah! vivre deux!)… Composed by Offenbach, with a libretto by Continetti.
Hoffman is so incredibly creepy I can’t believe anyone would vote for him. He makes Rick Santorum look fuckable.
[re=460646]seriesoftubescleaner[/re]: jesus that’s funny.
A horse is a horse
Of course, of course…
Willllbuuuuurrrrrr.
[re=460757]Sleeves[/re]: (Since I’m genetically blessed with bright white and brace-straight horse-fat teeth, the spirit moves me to tell you all to get fucked again already.)
I guess he MISconceded. (I’m sorry, I’m not very good at this.)
I’m hoping doctors will unappendectomize Beck so he’ll finally be reduced to a blubbering piece of shit writhing on the floor in pain.
That guy has bad teeth! Owned, bitch!
[re=460819]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: How will we know if it’s a burst appendix and not just his regular program style?
[re=460729]Flanders[/re]: Tsk. That’s just a rumor. The girl that Glenn Beck hasn’t yet denied raped and murdering was raped and murdered in 1990.
One word.
Colgate.
He looks like a fetal experiment all grown up and teabagged to the brim.
Is this good news for John McCain?
The comments section on The Hill makes the baby Jeebus cry.
But seriously, have any of you heard this guy attempt to speak, he’s such a weenie that I almost feel sorry for him.
I don’t think Mr Ed & guru Glen thought this one out: Absentee ballots are likely to have been filled out weeks before election day—-Scozzafava dropped out of the race pretty close to Dday, as I seem to recall, and that means that absentee Republican voters would have been much more likely to vote for her than election day voters would have. Scozzafava’s proportion of the vote will increase, leaving Seabiscuit with an even smaller percentage, no?
Oh, good morning Mr. Hoffman.
Sorry to hear you lost the election.
What’s that?
You want to “unconcede”?
Well, I mean … don’t you think it’s a little late for that. I mean, your chances of …
You say that this little voice inside your head named “Glen Beck” told you to …
I see, Mr. Hoffman. Excuse me, but I need to make a call. Pay no attention to those funny little men in the white suits that will be showing up shortly in the lobby….
One thing about living upstate I never could stomach, all the damn vampires.
those are the kinda teeth u dont wanna see coming at ya in the glory hole.
[re=460843]President Beeblebrox[/re]: You couldn’t resist peeking, could you? I admit I read comments from some of these places just to see what they might be thinking. And then I see that they don’t, and I get all appalled and shit.
You see, if you suck on tea-bags, your teeth turn brown
Now it’s time for fun with math:
10,000 ballots were mailed…which means about 15-20% will actually be returned (which I’d put at about 1500-2000 ballots). Only 34% turned out in 23 despite the hype, so at best 3400.
All the ballots were mailed (and probably returned) before Scozzafava dropped out, thus cutting into Hoff-tard’s margin…
Which means all that has to happen is that every single absentee ballot has to go for the Hoff-tard.
So, indeed, he gets to lose twice…he should have followed his Alaskan overlord’s model and just quit
[re=460698]WarAndG[/re]:
What I like are the names they use… someone named “Mike” will leave a comment, and the reply will come from “Mike is Snotty.”
And the name “Negrack Nobama” was quite clever.
I did see that our friend Truck Nutz made at least one comment.
The teeth were just the product of poor color-correction in Photoshop. This is what the image was really supposed to look like.
When asked about his potential margin of victory, Mr. Hoffman cited his campaign song: “The Skin of My Yellow Country Teeth.”
Come on, people. Can’t we have a substantive conversation about real issues? I would think that we are above such petty things as a person’s appearance…
Jesus H. Christ! Those are ugly fucking teeth!
[re=460944]proudgrampa[/re]: Heehee. (I was going to post a link to a PSYBLOG article about manteeth qua male sexual fitness, but fuckit really…)
His teeth are oats!
[re=460912]Mahousu[/re]: Aiee! Kryptonite!
Before and after. Alas only had time for upper jaw and one zit.
Once lost you cannot unlose, Dough Offman…
Is it just me, or is Continetti the love child or Hoffman and Palin? Or are Hoffman and Continetti the separated at birth bastards of Beck and Palin? I can’t tell which….
If only Americas favorite PBS painter, Bob Ross was still with us: today we’ll being using titantium white, phthalo blue, alizarin crimson and Hoffman yellow.
The teeth don’t actually bother me all that much. His little mousy/horsey face is what makes me want to punch him in the face.
Everytime I see that big stupid grin with the yellow teeth, I can’t help but think that his breath must smell like lukewarm creamed corn.
Man, I just can’t get over the *yellowness* of this… journalism.
/zing!
Hey Hoffman, why the long face?
i bet he can recount his teeth after one of them falls out for being home for the CAVITIVY CREEPS…WE MAKE HOLES IN TEETH! CREST GEL CREST GEL!
More Nate Silver math needed. I need probability charts. 538 (or 539) really needs some traffic I suspect
Dear Michael Steel, invest all spare GOP cash into this race and legal challenges. It is the only way you can prove you are a real hipster man
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