This e-mail made us sad. “In her column, Suzy offers her two cents on Sarah’s interview with Oprah, with the key takeaway is whether Sarah is real or not.” This “Suzy” sounds like a keeper, HEHNGNN?

Second most depressing e-mail pitch of the day comes from the Huffington Post, for this subject line: “Arianna to Warren Buffett: Put Down the Pom-Poms and Tell Us the Truth About the Economy.” Why is the mean rich lady yelling at Nebraskan investor Warren Buffett?

Links all around!

We need to get Intern Riley to start sending these pitch things out. “WONKETTE’S WEINER: Suzy, Put Down Arianna’s Pom Poms And Make Out With Warren Buffett And Oprah And Sarah And Stuff And What Is Even Real Or Not, Goddamnit.”


[Daily Beast]

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  1. Little Suzy isn’t so sure if Palin is sincere or just manipulative. Which can only mean that The Daily Beast is the new home for the truthily confused. At least now Meghan has someone she can commiserate with.

  2. She’s real, in a Hegelian “created by our thoughts and experiences” not a priori sort of way. In other words, if we all stop thinking about her, maybe she’ll cease to exist.

  3. “Either she’s the most sincere, decent, can-do, pure-blooded American ever to come out of the woods, or she’s a flat-out pretender”

    Um, no. If she is being sincere, as you question, then she’s not any of that. Nope, the values she espouses are decidedly indecent and immoral; “can-do” folks don’t up and quit for no apparent reason. And, even giving Ms. Welch the benefit of the doubt, the phrase “pure-blooded American” has rather uncomfortable racial overtones, shall we say.

  4. I love the “pure-blooded” American part. Because the only people I know of who can claim being pure-blooded American came across the Bering Strait about 12,000 years ago, and weren’t named Sarah. But what do pesky facts mean to redstaters?

  5. My money’s on flat-out pretender. Is she sincere? Ask John McCain. Is she a can-do gal? Ask the people who relied on her as Governor of Alaska. Or ask her husband. Is she a pure-blooded ‘Merican? If that means total self-obsessed opportunist…okay, maybe, yeah.

  6. [re=460277]rottenart[/re]: Actually, dear sir, now that you mention it, perhaps she is part of a necessary dialectic and we are inextricably bound up with her in a never-ending cycle of balance within the phenomenological universe.

    But then, where does that place Ricky Hollywood? Philosophy really boggles my mind.

  7. [re=460263]Click[/re]: Stupid and proud. There was an excerpt from the book somewhere (maybe here; I don’t recall) with her enthusiastically proclaiming herself a creationist; that’s the kind of profoundly bugfuck stupidity that should probably remove a person’s right to vote.

  8. The Mayan Calendar predicts Sarah will be elected Amerka’s last Prezident in 2012. After her, the deluge. Worldwide flooding the second flood and no Noah.

  9. I saw the piece where the eponmous Arianna took on Warren Buffett on economics. For myself, when I want economic advice and I have to choose between one personerstanding of economic developments has made him the second wealthiest man in the world and another person great wealth by divorcing its owner, I know who to go with!
    Arianna – Where should I invest the $87 I have left in my 401(k)?

  10. [re=460304]rottenart[/re]: You know, I asked my four-year old granddaughter about this just this morning, and she said: “Perhaps Palin is part of a necessary dialectic and we are inextricably bound up with her in a never-ending cycle of balance within the phenomenological universe.”

    Mouths of babes, eh? She’s smart, that one…

  11. [re=460269]PrairiePossum[/re]: I’m not sure Sarah’s boobs are real either, and her face does not look like it has been exposed to many Alaskan blizzards.

  12. [re=460329]Ducksworthy[/re]: Give the Palin daughters time…There might be a Noah yet. Shit, we had a Levi, didn’t we?

    And he was, in the words of Three Dog Night, definitely coming.

  13. i know through bitter firsthand experience that mrs. jack welch is one of the most malignant, manipulative narcissists on the planet. she’s an east coast palin, actually. what she puked up for her pal tina brown is pure projection.

  14. I know she’s married to Jack Welch and all, and she’s probably a very intelligent businesswoman — but every time I hear “Suzy Welch” I think of pom-poms and big hair. Could we change it to Susan? Suzanne, maybe? I’m just saying.

    Meow. Also.

  15. I blame John McCain and his political aspirations for this woman’s continued media presence. If he hadn’t elevated her FAR beyond what she normally would have hoped for she’d be a fading memory, famous only for being referred to as a GILF here. Damn you, John McCain.

  16. [re=460374]fauxregarde[/re]:

    From wiki: “In early 2002, she was forced to resign from the Harvard Business Review after admitting to an affair with the then-married Jack Welch, the former chief executive officer of General Electric, while preparing an interview with him for the magazine.”

    Q: Does Suzy have a tramp tat?

  17. Wonket Weiner seems forced. Perhaps the short blasts could be called the Wonket Micropenis? It could consist entirely of whatever shit got released that day on the Apple trailer page.

  18. [re=460459]S.Luggo[/re]: Sarah would never have admitted that anything. Even if there were photos of Jack Welch fisting her in the middle of Times Square. That’s why she’s presidential material.

  19. [re=460422]binarian[/re] Yeah, but if not for McCain being desperate maybe she would not have reared her evil head until 2012, on the national scene for the first time stumping for candidates in preparation for her own run for president in 2016. Then she may not have experienced the series of disasters that began with the Couric interview and then … she might have actually become fucking president in 2016! She won’t now, ever. Maybe we should thank him.

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