BAN CABLE NEWS  9:09 am November 17, 2009

Lou Dobbs And Bill O’Reilly Have Very Serious Discussion About Satan

by Jim Newell

Mexican deerhunting gang target and fat dunderhead Lou Dobbs went on Bill O’Reilly’s show last night to discuss, let’s see here, who gives a fuck. But skip ahead to :35 for a comical moment in which O’Reilly asks, dead seriously and out of nowhere, “Is Barack Obama the Devil?” Lou Dobbs doesn’t miss a beat and immediately begins his meandering answer, with utter Seriousness. This is a conversation between two theoretically self-aware adult humans!

And don’t you just love how Lou Dobbs or Bill O’Reilly can say, as an established obvious fact — indisputable, common sense! — that the health care reform under consideration is the government fully taking over 1/6th of the economy? Meh. MEH. Dobbs/O’Reilly ’12.

Piece of shit country.


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ManchuCandidate November 17, 2009 at 9:15 am

Bill and Lou, Barry ISN’T SATAN! He’s the Super Muslin Devil.

BeWoot November 17, 2009 at 9:15 am

Cute couple, dream ticket.

Aflac Shrugged November 17, 2009 at 9:18 am

It’s beyond serious doubt that little girls, not Barack Obama, are the debbil; as such, this conversation is pure hyperbowl.

JMP November 17, 2009 at 9:22 am

Could it be . . . SATAN? Good to see Fox reenacting old SNL skits, only in utter seriousness.

It didn’t take long for Dobbs to find his natural home, did it?

whatever_dc November 17, 2009 at 9:23 am

WTF does this have to do with queen sarah’s book tour? as if anyone cares about ANYTHING else!!!

Decker November 17, 2009 at 9:23 am

This is why people hate old white guys.

Aflac Shrugged November 17, 2009 at 9:26 am

Also, I love how they caption “Lou Dobbs” with “Resigned from CNN” as though this were some principled act. I thought that being paid an $8M extra-chin-maintenance fund meant that you didn’t leap so much as respond to the push.

CrunchyKnee November 17, 2009 at 9:26 am

Sympathy for the Obama.

Naked Bunny with a Whip November 17, 2009 at 9:27 am

two theoretically self-aware adult humans

You’re being unusually generous today, Jim. I’d ask if you got laid last night, except that might be misinterpreted as an insult rather than my normal voyeuristic interest in what people are doing with their bodily juices. Which, fortunately, doesn’t extend to O’Reilly or Dobbs, especially when they’re together.

rocktonsammy November 17, 2009 at 9:28 am

We look forward to more sword fights in the Fox restroom from these two dirty old men.

freakishlystrong November 17, 2009 at 9:30 am

Old, white, racist blowtards. Hopefully die soon.

sezme November 17, 2009 at 9:32 am

[re=460070]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: Well, he’s blogging at nine in the morning. What does that tell you?

Fly Over Girl November 17, 2009 at 9:32 am

Mondays are for man-dates, but with Tuesday morning comes the walk of shame.

engulfedinflames November 17, 2009 at 9:34 am

Excuse me, but this is the greatest, strongest,richest, most powerful nation in the history of mankind, which makes the fact that our government cannot provide sensible, affordable health care for its citizens indefensible.

It’s not the country that’s shitty it’s our democratically-elected leadership who have come to power because people like me are too fucking lazy to do anything about it.

So fuck me.

ph7 November 17, 2009 at 9:34 am

Can the North secede from the Union this time? Maybe the West Coast can secede at the same time, and we can enter a bilateral treaty.

Lou can take all the Southern borders to live out his fantasies, and the South can build that Christian nation out of moonpies and RC Cola. O’Reilly seems to love tormenting himself, so maybe he can create an independent autonomous Vatican outpost comprised of a loofa cage in Times Square.

Mild Midwesterner November 17, 2009 at 9:37 am

Bill O’Reilly’s question was wrong. It should not have been, “Is Obama ‘the’ devil.” Rather, it should have been phrased, “Is Obama ‘a’ devil,” to which the answer is an indisputable yes.

norbizness November 17, 2009 at 9:37 am

In Me-hee-co, they call heem El Diablo, Senor Dobbs! Soon you weel be calling heem that too, pinche gringo!

mightycpa November 17, 2009 at 9:45 am

Love it or leave it, you mexican infidel.

“Piece of shit country” is the same kind of shit that Hasan was saying in the weeks preceding his Fort Hood massacre. Is anybody over there at Wonkette paying attention to this caryopsis of a man? How long before he dons his white ACLU robe and goes all “assault weapon” on you while screaming “Gobble-the-goo Akbar!” I wonder who this mexican menace hates more, Dobbs or that Cuban Menendez.

JSDC007 November 17, 2009 at 9:45 am

Where’s the falafel confetti when you need it?

DoctorCulturae November 17, 2009 at 9:45 am

And OT David Brooks adds to the stupid white guy meme today by bemoaning a lack of Merican ‘futurity.’ He is slyly trying to hijack the Obama change narrative (like Ms. Snowbilly of course) with his own brand of Puritan shame. Please Little Davey, do remember Reagan theocritized the hollow faith (with viral greed filling the vacuum) you speak of. Time for a little more Stoli in the morning coffee. Paging Charles Dickens.

Naked Bunny with a Whip November 17, 2009 at 9:46 am

[re=460074]sezme[/re]: I’m writing blog comments at 8:30 AM my time, for free, so perhaps I’m not the best person to answer that question.

JMP November 17, 2009 at 9:46 am

[re=460068]Aflac Shrugged[/re]: Of course it was a principled act; CNN demanded that he tamp down the racism or leave, and if there’s one principle Dobbs holds dear, it’s racism.

PsycGirl November 17, 2009 at 9:47 am

Fox “news”: making the Onion’s job impossible since 1996.

norbizness November 17, 2009 at 9:54 am

[re=460086]DoctorCulturae[/re]: Put that Brooks column back where it belongs, protecting the bottom of the cage from Squeaky the Parakeet’s leavings.

Minnie Mean November 17, 2009 at 9:55 am

How can you tell these guys apart? There really are 2 of them, right?!
I think I have a solution:
Probably have to pay more for XXdouche size, but it would be worth it.

Mr Blifil November 17, 2009 at 9:58 am

It’s really no fun unless their cocks touch.

Mr Blifil November 17, 2009 at 10:02 am

Plus I was promised there would be a tag team of Dobbs’ mexicali fiery latina wife. I guess Falafel Boy has performance issues.

WarAndG November 17, 2009 at 10:06 am

Fox NEWS Program Idea: Walk into a depressed farm community’s coffee shop in Kansas and grab the nearest old-flaccid-under employed-racist-social security-medicare sucking-crabs and listen to them bitch about how liberals fucked up this country. Wait! We already have ten damn flavors of this show.

Flanders November 17, 2009 at 10:06 am

[re=460084]mightycpa[/re]: ? What are you *talking* about?

gurukalehuru November 17, 2009 at 10:14 am

[re=460084]mightycpa[/re]: What the fuck is a caryopsis?

CapnFatback November 17, 2009 at 10:18 am

[re=460120]gurukalehuru[/re]: He’s comparing Hasan to a grain cuz Hasan’s all brown ‘n’ shit.

thefrontpage November 17, 2009 at 10:19 am

No, these people are devils: Bill O’Reilly, Lou Dobbs, Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, Michele Malkin, Ann Coulter, Karl Rove, George Bush I, George Bush II, Dick Cheney, John Ashcroft, Alberto Gonzalez, Harriet Miers, Andrew Card, Ari Fleischer, Dana Perino, Condoleezza Rice, Donald Rumsfeld, any high-ranking person in the Nixon, Reagan and Bush I and II administrations, and anyone who agrees with any of these people on most political issues.

There’s your devils.

binarian November 17, 2009 at 10:22 am

[re=460084]mightycpa[/re]: Dude….they gave you that medicine for a reason. Take it. No really, take your meds.

TGY November 17, 2009 at 10:27 am

I will feel much better when Dobbs joins Fox on a regular basis. The universe will seem much more complete.

binarian November 17, 2009 at 10:27 am

[re=460123]CapnFatback[/re]: She/He’s been dipping into the Wikipedia again.

depraved indifference engine November 17, 2009 at 10:31 am

And by the way, Lou Dobbs, if you see your mom this weekend, would you be sure and tell her “SATAN! SATAN! SATAN!”

P Drizzle November 17, 2009 at 10:34 am

I just hope Dobbs doesn’t do the New Jersey senate thing. He should wait to assume his true place as Ambassador to Mexico under Pres. No-I’m-Not-Jared Huckabee.

Or head of the CDC’s Swine Flu and Leprosy division.

Either would work.

gurukalehuru November 17, 2009 at 10:37 am

They planned that question and answer carefully. Too smooth by half.

And I’m rather sick of this 1/6th of the economy line, which is the argument they used to sink health care in ’93. Just what percentage of our national wealth do they think is appropriate to spend on health care? 1/6th just doesn’t seem that high to me. Health is important.

lawrenceofthedesert November 17, 2009 at 10:37 am

When will O’Really? start dressing the part and wear a Napolean costume on the air? Interesting, nevertheless, how the archfiend Murdoch has chewed on both ends of the demographic spectrum — going after kids with Fox TV and old farts with Faux News. Every city neighborhood has a bar full of Bill & Lou’s grumbling about how “this used to be a good neighborhood before the (fill in correct response: hippies, niggers, beaners, kikes, towelheads, zipperheads, yuppies, rich assholes) moved in.” What’s sad is watching one happen: on Lincoln Avenue in Chicago, there used to be an old German bar called Katzenjammer’s where the Nazi fugitives would bemoan the street turning into a hippie playground. The hippies all hung out at a new bar called Sterch’s. Katzenjammer’s is long gone, replaced by some joint where yuppies drank Jello shots and shot silly string at one another. In the meanwhile, the hippies at Sterch’s have hit 60 and sit around whining about how the neighborhood used to be good before the Gen X frat boys showed up. As ageless Pete Seeger wrote, “When will they ever learn?” In Bill & Lou’s case, never.

Joshua Norton November 17, 2009 at 10:43 am

My favorite Fox moment evah:

Camera man and dude with microphone go into a coffee shop in some square state. Asks everyone to raise their hand who is voting for Obama. The whole room raises their hand. Then he asks who’s voting for McCain and only he raises his hand. Then he looks dead serious at the camera and says “as you can see, the results are very mixed here”.

“We distort, you decide.”

mardam422 November 17, 2009 at 10:44 am

[re=460064]JMP[/re]: Yes, this country certainly has come a long way. This is just like the old “All in the Family” episode when Archie goes on TV to give an editorial on how to stop airline hijackings. “Arm all your passengers.” GENIUS It was so funny then. No one would actually think that is a good idea…right?

Now they actually talk about doing it.

What a country!!1

Joshua Norton November 17, 2009 at 10:46 am

When will O’Really? start dressing the part and wear a Napolean costume on the air?

Even if he did, he would appear to be more sane than Palin on Oprah yesterday.

bitchincamaro November 17, 2009 at 10:48 am

Dobbs’ giant skull is completely void of brain matter. POS, indeed.

Joshua Norton November 17, 2009 at 10:52 am

Unfortunately, Dobbs is laughing all the way to the bank. It cost CNN 8 million to get rid of him. So the Dobbs haters and Dobbs himself came out the winners in that deal. CNN took it in the shorts in their quest to go “neutral”.

When do we start the clock ticking on Wolfie?

snideinplainsight November 17, 2009 at 10:54 am

Two words: turing test. O’really must have gone to bed after having read too much Philip K. Dick (no jokes, please) and had a nightmare about armies of relentless Dobbs-Droids(tm) hunting him down after the interview and sitting on him. You can never be too sure -

JMP November 17, 2009 at 10:55 am

[re=460106]Flanders[/re]: Methinks someone didn’t heed the warning about the brown acid.

Way Cool Larry November 17, 2009 at 10:57 am

it’s really pretty amazing how two sphincter muscles can emulate human speech so well

JMP November 17, 2009 at 10:57 am

[re=460143]P Drizzle[/re]: Oh, I don’t know; it could result in a very entertaining election, at least; especially if he runs against Menendez, who just might set off Dobbs’ rage. Or if the truly ancient Lautenberg re-retires or dies, and the rumors about Jon Bon Jovi wanting to run for office in Jersey prove true.

Naked Bunny with a Whip November 17, 2009 at 11:05 am

@Way Cool Larry: You win.

frailamerica November 17, 2009 at 11:07 am

[re=460077]ph7[/re]: Yes! Reconstruction was the worst policy ever.

Katydid November 17, 2009 at 11:13 am

Is it really possible that Dobbs doesn’t realize that one can’t spend years stoking (stroking?) irrational hatred, anger and fear of Messicans, and then expect the wingnuts to be able to calmly differentiate between foreigners and Mrs. Lou Dobbs, a certifiably brown-skinned Messican-American?

In any case, now that he’s got the wingnuts all fired up, and since Dobbs claims that teh Messicans bring in teh leprosy, how does he expect to get elected? Sane people won’t vote for him, and the wingnuts probably want his wife tested before they cast their vote.

P Drizzle November 17, 2009 at 11:14 am

[re=460169]JMP[/re]: The people of NJ have obv. forgiven Bon Jovi for his past crimes against good taste and good hair. I think he actually has a chance now that Springsteen is a total commie.

Click November 17, 2009 at 11:20 am

“I guarantee you %100 I’m going to remain in the public arena.”

Anyone know where we can get some hungry lions?

Click November 17, 2009 at 11:23 am

“This is a conversation between two theoretically self-aware adult humans!”

S.Luggo November 17, 2009 at 11:35 am
marioninnyc November 17, 2009 at 11:36 am

Oh come on guys. You know they were just playing. That was O’Reilly imitating Colbert imitating O’Reily imitating Colbert imitating O’Reilly! You just don’t get it!

Fred Wertham Jr. November 17, 2009 at 11:38 am

Before Uncle Lou went nuts he wouldn’t have given a fucktard like O’Reilly the time of day. I liked him a lot better when he was just an arrogant prick.

proudgrampa November 17, 2009 at 11:49 am

This isn’t even political discourse anymore.

AxmxZ November 17, 2009 at 12:44 pm

It’s a bit like watching dinosaurs panic while the ominous glow in the sky grows brighter. They know they’re doomed.

Dashboard_Buddha November 17, 2009 at 12:45 pm

If I had the money, I would hire skywriters to fly over O’Riellys house and write, “WTF, BILL? WTF???

Suds McKenzie November 17, 2009 at 12:53 pm

up early ?[re=460084]mightycpa[/re]: what is the point of you?

yellowdogdem November 17, 2009 at 12:55 pm

[re=460084]mightycpa[/re]: Your avatar is gross.

I-man November 17, 2009 at 12:56 pm

Two sacks of something…I would say shit but even shit is useful to society.

drpangloss November 17, 2009 at 1:20 pm

Ah the ole “When did you stop beating your wife?” question pure classic BOR. So our President is either mismanaging the country or is The Devil? Wunderbar. Geobles couldn’t have phrased it better.

Manos: Hands of Fate November 17, 2009 at 1:34 pm

[re=460076]engulfedinflames[/re]: Naaw … its the people, or least those living in sucky, mostly warmer states. I mean according to the Post, Mississippi has a nearly 20 percent malnutrition rate and its governor Foghorn Balhorn is considered a serious presidential candidate. This is a guy who won becuase voters were so outraged about getting rid of the stars and bars off the state flag.

I don’t see any angry mobs dwon there getting worked up about being on the verge of famine.

Dean Booth November 17, 2009 at 2:37 pm

If Obama is the Devil, then clearly someone as evil as Hitler must have been the Devil, too. Obama=Hitler, Q.E.D.

desertwind November 17, 2009 at 2:40 pm

Couldn’t make it past the 53 second mark.

Ugh. “blah blah radio show blah blah teevee or run for office.”

Because — what’s the diff?

Piece of shit country.

bobwurst November 17, 2009 at 3:20 pm

Come on folks, it was a test. Billy was just checking to see if Dobby could keep a straight face while responding. It doesn’t matter what he said, it matters how he said it. It’s called “journalistic integrity” folks… All the Fox News talking heads have it.

Bearbloke November 17, 2009 at 3:22 pm

[re=460382]yellowdogdem[/re]: It’s a face pix…

rocktonsammy November 17, 2009 at 7:27 pm


And The Daily Show also.

Chuckie Jesus November 22, 2009 at 9:54 am

I can feel the melanin gathering behind me whenever Bitch Cassidy or the Fatchance Kid are on teevee. You heard me. If I click on a YouTube or flip to a channel with either of them on it, it repels my fucking blackness, and then I have to walk around all day with a pale face and a black back.

I will never understand what people see in these men.

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