- Mark Shields goes on teevee, describes his favorite sweaty homoerotic fantasy in vivid detail. [Think Progress]
- Matt Yglesias is very relieved that CAP is forbidden by federal law to replace him with a genetically superior blogger. [Matt Yglesias]
- Who will protect America’s morbidly obese children from mutant, oven-sized cupcakes? [Weekly Standard]
- A CNN intern galloped through the busy markets of Beijing in search of ObaMaoist souvenirs, only to discover that such paraphernalia has been outlawed for all eternity! And according to Mr. Gateway Pundit this is very bad/good/communist/socialist/gay? Sometimes it’s just hard to tell. [Gateway Pundit]
- CEI will deposit $500 in Al Gore’s PayPal account if he finger-bangs Lord Monckton. $510.50 if CEI can watch. [The Corner]
RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS 5:20 pm November 16, 2009
Why Won’t Greedy Al Gore Accept CEI’s Generous Birthday Check?
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{ 36 comments }
Weekly Standard – the only journalistic outfit with the integrity to protect Americans from cake.
A cupcake 25 x bigger than a cupcake is what we used to call a “cake.”
So David Gergen is a top, who knew.
That guy who wants to debate Al Gore–is that the Statler or Waldorf muppet?
Let the Free Market decide! If children eventually die from eating mutant, oven-sized cupcakes then sooner or later the Free Market parents simply won’t buy them.
Problem solve. As always with the invisible hand of the baker.
Q: Hey, Weekly Standard, there’s been a lot of terrorist chatter lately, and someone thinks al-Qaida might attack the US.
A: Shut up, we’re enthralled over Dubya clearing brush.
Q: Hey, what do you guys think about the government subsidizing healthcare for those who can’t afford it?
A: The government is never the answer to anything! Governmnent is the problem, not the solution! Reagan said it himself, so it’s obviously true.
Q: Do you think this cap-and-trade thing is going to move us into a new era of clean energy?
A: The horror! Government’s taking over the energy sector, driving clean coal out of business, and telling you how high you can have your thermostat set! Socialism!
Q: Hey, do any of you want a slice of this giant cupcake?
A: There ought to be a law! Where’s Harry Reid when you really need to ban something?!
If by “…Let’s kick some tail and ask questions afterwards…”, Shields means, “kick Rummy’s buttboy McChrystal right the fuck out of Af-Pak”, I concur with the old bloodhound.
Riley, when are you gonna grow up and liveblog like the big boys?
Lady Gaga, meet Lord Monckton.
[re=459915]chascates[/re]: LOOK AT HIS EYES. He’s worse than a possessed frog.
My dear Lord Monckton:
William F. Buckley called and demands you return his arrogance, la-de-da accent, and bulging peepers, forthwith.
Thank you,
bc
I wouldn’t mind a “kingsize cupcake kitten”, if you know what I mean….
Size really does matter.
Time to slam the doors on Big Cupcake.
[re=459917]shortsshortsshorts[/re]:
Lord M. looks like one of those upside-down pictures: “How many eyes in this photo? 95% of Americans get this question wrong.”
[re=459914]facehead[/re]: I know! They let Juli liveblog when she was an intern. Mind you, there was the lead up to a federal election going on all through her internship. But still! Riley would do an awesome, surreal job at it! Make him do Palin v. Babwa tomorrow!
[re=459935]Nigerian Business Executive[/re]:
Rickey Waggaman is not ready to live blog,yet.
[re=459923]maven[/re]: You’re going to put a candle in that kitten’s cupcake?
[re=459949]bago[/re]: Or in that cupcake’s kitten?
[re=459946]rocktonsammy[/re]: Stop stifling his entrepreneurial spirit!
Are you kidding? Candy Crowley and K-Lo would polish off a dozen of those cupcakes and have a slap fight over the crumbs.
Bad Move, Weekly Standard! Conservatives have always believed American kids have a god-given right to eat themselves into a diabetic coma. Let the market speak!
Please, someone, please do a Sarah Palin\J.K Rowling
photoshop.
please, … for the kids
ty
[re=459896]rachelv[/re]: A cupcake 25 x bigger than a cupcake is what we used to call a “cake.”
Yeah, but when I was a kid, my mom would never have paid $27 for a cake pan.
[re=459975]stew[/re]: Bad Move, Weekly Standard! Conservatives have always believed American kids have a god-given right to eat themselves into a diabetic coma. Let the market speak!
Without giant helpings of cake, how would Jonah Goldberg have ever developed his stunning figure?
[re=459974]Joshua Norton[/re]: Slapfight, you say?
~
Getaway Pundit printed “ObaMoa” in the second line…hilarious…
THis Lord Monckton fella has a funny english accent, he’s gotta be smarter than Al Gore.
Al Gore debated George Bush and even though he won, he lost.
A debate would just give these fuckers a platform, from which they could cheat.
[re=460028]gurukalehuru[/re]: Exactly. They would milk it to pretend it gave them some kind of credibility.
Nice writeup by Riley .. is any of this true?
Mark Shields makes me nostalgic for real PBS pundits like William F Buckley who could say more by flicking his tongue like a lizard. Better TV days.
“A CNN intern galloped through the busy markets of Beijing in search of ObaMaoist souvenirs, only to discover that such paraphernalia has been outlawed for all eternity!”
‘Everything is fake except your mother’ — Beijing Proverb. If they can’t find the souvenirs near the Embassy, go to the markets near the Forbidden City or the Summer Palace. That’s where I got my cheap ‘Hard Rock Cafe’ T-shirts.
Zhu Bajie
I am convinced that we started down the path that leads inexorably to obese pint size humanoids gleefully scarfing down enormous (X25) cupcakes, when we decided that all vehicles must come to a halt for stopped school buses. Get government out of our traffic and let the invisible hand of the market act via the instrumentality of a Chevy Tahoe’s front bumper.
Uh, Mark Shields…fuck yeah?
No one in Afghanistan’s giving us credit for saving the motherfuckin’ day, yeah.
By the way, Think Progress/Atrios/Wonkette have lost their goddamned minds, or at least the portion of their mind that can detect sarcasm in Mark Shields’ voice. Jesus Christ, you secondary source mouthbreathers, at least listen to the audio.
Damn, and I thought it was only rightards who were so bloody DENSE and SOCIALLY DEAF as to be unable to detect IRONY AT POINT PLANK RANGE. Mark Shields would never say anything like that seriously. Lord have mercy…
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