PSYCHOPATH MAD LIBS  2:42 pm November 16, 2009

Sarah Palin Is NOT Afraid To Discuss Levi Johnston With A Pejorative Reference To His Own Alter-Ego (?)

by Juli Weiner

Hey Mr. Levi Johnston, you better WATCH OUT because Sarah Palin as a new very hurtful nickname she will begin calling you! It is “Ricky Hollywood,” for reasons! Reports Ben Smith: “Asked by Oprah about Levi Johnston, Palin, R-Alaska, responded: ‘I don’t think a national television show is the place to discuss some of things he’d been doing and saying.’ She continued: ‘By the way, I don’t know if we call him Levi — I hear he goes by the name Ricky Hollywood now, so, if that’s the case, we don’t want to mess up this gig he’s got going…. Kind of this aspiring, aspiring porn — the things that he’s doing. It’s kind of heartbreaking.’” Smith with the etymology after the jump.

So POLITICO, with its signature Watergate investigative Nexis journalism, figures out “Ricky Hollywood” is a reference to a totally obscure Daily Beast column from June, in which Tank Jones, Levi’s William Safire + Meg Stapleton, is like, “Levi’s so Hollywood we’re going to call him ‘Hollywood.’” Specifically “Ricky Hollywood”:

Just so you’re clear, when Levi Johnston is in L.A. with Tank and running around shopping with a reporter, trying on sequined jackets and pink fedoras and wearing bedazzled T-shirts that say “Go Girl” on them, that’s not Levi you’re seeing.

“What we did was, we came up with an alter ego, Ricky Hollywood,” explains Tank. “Ricky Hollywood would iron his shirt.” Levi looks at Tank and raises his eyebrows. “Yeah, right!” he says. “OK, well, I’d iron it. He doesn’t know how to iron.”

So. Point… Daily Beast. Yes, Daily Beast wins this round.

[Ben Smith, Daily Beast]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 67 comments }

Terry November 16, 2009 at 2:48 pm

“Asked by Oprah about Levi Johnston, Palin, R-Alaska…”

Shouldn’t that be “R-Quitter”?

Extemporanus November 16, 2009 at 2:48 pm

GO WEST HOLLYWOOD YOUNG MAN!!

user-of-owls November 16, 2009 at 2:49 pm

The Japanese are gonna be really pissed that they didn’t come up with “aspiring, aspiring porn” first. They are ALWAYS first.

SomeNYGuy November 16, 2009 at 2:49 pm

Which one of Palin’s children is Tank?

rottenart November 16, 2009 at 2:50 pm

I’m not sure the world is prepared for a marketing campaign this brilliantly conceived.

Mahousu November 16, 2009 at 2:51 pm

So the gays lose the Washington Blade, but they gain Ricky Hollywood. Things even out in the end.

snideinplainsight November 16, 2009 at 2:51 pm

William F. Buckley, Jr. wouldn’t think anything of Levi Johnson posing naked with a hockey stick, because WILLIAM F. BUCKLEY, JR. IS DEAD!!!2!

(Help me please, I don’t know how to stop.)

steve November 16, 2009 at 2:51 pm

So………… Sarah says that Levi is gay via the Daily Beast w/r/t some dude ironing his shirts? Is that what I was supposed to get out of that?

mightycpa November 16, 2009 at 2:52 pm

Author = Juli Weiner.. that’s funny

queeraselvis v 2.0 November 16, 2009 at 2:53 pm

Ricky Hollywood? Meh, too Michael J. Fox-y. Might I suggest something along the lines of Troy Woodbeater, A. Nalsachs, or Manon Dickey?

chascates November 16, 2009 at 2:55 pm

Eventually an entire cable channel will be needed to follow Sarah, Levi, and the assorted handlers, hangers-on, and pundits involved in this, the greatest contest since the War of the Roses.

vespula maculata November 16, 2009 at 2:56 pm

Thanks for the confirmation that he’s getting to you, toots.

user-of-owls November 16, 2009 at 2:56 pm

…trying on sequined jackets and pink fedoras and wearing bedazzled T-shirts that say “Go Girl” on them, that’s not Levi you’re seeing.

No, that’s the ACORN-infiltrating “pimp” you’re seeing.

Click November 16, 2009 at 2:57 pm

[re=459576]rottenart[/re]: It’s right up there with the Vegas Stripper Truck.

Extemporanus November 16, 2009 at 2:57 pm

[re=459577]Mahousu[/re]: Ricky say “Relax”.

facehead November 16, 2009 at 2:59 pm

He was with Tank? Or in the tank?

RoscoePColtraine November 16, 2009 at 2:59 pm

“I don’t think a national, family-oriented talk show is the place to discuss some of the things he’s been doing, aspiring porn–, gay for pay, fucking dudes for moolah, Going Rogue in the British sense, …it just should be left for the cable channels, not a national talk show.”

you cannot be serious November 16, 2009 at 2:59 pm

I can’t wait for the sex video between Ricky Hollywood and Miss Caleefornia.

Jamie Sommers November 16, 2009 at 3:00 pm

Levi is 19 year old. What’s Palin’s excuse?

user-of-owls November 16, 2009 at 3:02 pm

[re=459590]chascates[/re]: War of the Roses? I was thinking more on the lines of World Wide Wrestling, which shares a similar level of gravitas to this saga.

proudgrampa November 16, 2009 at 3:02 pm

Ricky. Holly. Wood.

There’s a word puzzle in there somewhere…

FMA November 16, 2009 at 3:03 pm

[re=459587]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Buck Naked.

user-of-owls November 16, 2009 at 3:03 pm

[re=459603]Jamie Sommers[/re]: Hookworms!

Extemporanus November 16, 2009 at 3:03 pm

[re=459587]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: How ’bout something more Christian-y, like “Jimmy Hollywood”, perhaps?

Joe Pesci could reprise his role as “Tank”.

proudgrampa November 16, 2009 at 3:03 pm

[re=459590]chascates[/re]: They’re becoming their own reality show, huh?

ez November 16, 2009 at 3:04 pm

I just checked the dictionary and was surprised that Ms. Palin’s picture was not next to the entry for ‘passive agressive bitch’.

chaste everywhere November 16, 2009 at 3:05 pm

Levi vs. Sarah is not cosy and it is not mocked. Levi vs. Sarah tells the only truth that ultimately matters. Levi vs. Sarah is the light by which human beings can be mended. And after Levi vs. Sarah there is, let me assure you all, nothing.

steve November 16, 2009 at 3:06 pm

[re=459600]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: “I don’t think a family-oriented talk show is the place to discuss this type of thing… I will call it Porn, though. I feel comfortable calling the father of my grand child an aspiring porn star. I feel good about it, Oprah, I feel darn good about it. Porn Star! Rolls off the tongue.”

bitchincamaro November 16, 2009 at 3:08 pm

That’s no porn-name. Now, Rudy “San Fernando” Valley, that’s a porn-name.

Bruno November 16, 2009 at 3:09 pm

Well running in the Miss Alaska competition is certainly different. Very different. There are no hockey sticks for one. At least in public for the Hockey Mom

Suds McKenzie November 16, 2009 at 3:09 pm

[re=459587]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: “Hockey Stick Holmes”?

Click November 16, 2009 at 3:11 pm

Stay tuned for the make-up sex.

AxmxZ November 16, 2009 at 3:12 pm

[re=459609]proudgrampa[/re]: Ricky-Ticky-Holly-Gopher-Wood.

RoscoePColtraine November 16, 2009 at 3:18 pm

I thought it was Palin spokesperson Meg Stapleton who refused to dignify controversies and scandals with a comment before getting two or three good jabs in. She got it from Palin herself. Hhmmm, wouldn’t have thought so.

magic titty November 16, 2009 at 3:20 pm

[re=459584]mightycpa[/re]: Christ you’re a douche. What is the point of you?

Canmon (the Inadequate) November 16, 2009 at 3:22 pm

Ron Mexico would be proud.

YellowKid November 16, 2009 at 3:23 pm

[re=459590]chascates[/re]: I think we can look for Kato Kaelin to host their evening wrap-up show.

SayItWithWookies November 16, 2009 at 3:24 pm

“Kind of heartbreaking” — that’s sweet how Sarah Palin’s all broken up about the boy she kicked out of her daughter’s conjugal bliss room, and how he’s now whoring himself in the public media. Oh, and how’s that book of yours doing, Sarah-who-quit-the-governorship-for-publicity?

Click November 16, 2009 at 3:24 pm

[re=459624]Suds McKenzie[/re]: Cast Levi in a remake of the original ‘Slap Shot.’ He can play Allan Nicholl’s character where he walks up to Sarah and sneers:
“I’m gonna walk down that stinkin’ runway, open up this faggot robe and wiggle my dick at ‘em! And do you know why? Because I want you to have a heart-attack and die so we don’t have to do this shit again!”

Click November 16, 2009 at 3:26 pm

[re=459637]magic titty[/re]: I don’t know but it looks to me like an oversucked nipple.

Accordion-o-rama November 16, 2009 at 3:27 pm

Here’s hoping Levi is Oprah’s surprise guest during today’s Palin interview.

Mad Brahms November 16, 2009 at 3:34 pm

Actual CNN (TV) headline:
“The Return of Sarah Palin: Is she running for President?”

Two things.
1. There is no return. She never went away, because of you media morans and your obsession with her bazongas / ignorant malapropisms.
2. She is not running for president. How do I know this? BECAUSE WE ARE LESS THAN ONE YEAR INTO OUR CURRENT PRESIDENTS TERM, THAT IS WHY. She *may* choose to run for president, sure, especially if headlines like this keep encouraging her and presenting it as something more than a laughable idea. But 2009 may be a bit early to start, no, CNN?

I hate Mondays.

Cape Clod November 16, 2009 at 3:44 pm

I guess Dirk Diggler was already taken.

Gorillionaire November 16, 2009 at 3:52 pm

Already looking forward to the day she “quits” her book tour. You know for the sake of the book.

Minnie Mean November 16, 2009 at 3:52 pm

[re=459575]SomeNYGuy[/re]: Yes, I’d like a chart identifying the age, name and gender of her entire brood. I’m really hoping Trip is a dude and of legal age.

norbizness November 16, 2009 at 3:54 pm

Seriously*, go ahead and delete my account.

* semi-seriously

thefrontpage November 16, 2009 at 4:03 pm

What about Palin’s own racy porn background? She appears in at least 80 porn tapes that we’ve watched repeatedly over at the “C-men House” on C Street in D.C.

El Pinche November 16, 2009 at 4:12 pm

[re=459664]Mad Brahms[/re]: I cannot tell you how much I agree with you.

Sarah is better than Levi in one way. She can fall under porn categories Big Tits, White Trash, and MILF.

nightshift November 16, 2009 at 4:12 pm

Imagine the MILF-Y hate sex Sarah and Levi would have…

Snarkalicious November 16, 2009 at 4:19 pm

[re=459637]magic titty[/re]: Hehe…titty.

Mahousu November 16, 2009 at 4:32 pm

[re=459736]nightshift[/re]: … have had?

Not saying, just asking. No, no, not asking, just scurrilously insinuating.

sezme November 16, 2009 at 4:38 pm

Just keeping score here the Palins and Entourage. We have Todd, Track, Trig, Tripp, Tank, and Ricky. And I didn’t even have to make any up this time. Cool!

gjdodger November 16, 2009 at 4:38 pm

[re=459624]Suds McKenzie[/re]: From what I hear, he’s a real mother pucker.

Starrigavan November 16, 2009 at 4:56 pm

Sarah goes rogue, Levi goes commando.

What’s the difference between a hockey mom and Levi? Levi actually played hockey.

What’s the difference between Miss California and Levi? Levi is actually getting paid to pose naked, and his tits are real…

If Levi doesn’t quit in the middle of the photo shoot, I say he wins the “Matanuska Valley Feud”

rottenart November 16, 2009 at 5:06 pm

[re=459595]Click[/re]: It’s just too bad Billy Mays is dead. Maybe Sham Wow dude is available for press secretary. Of course, the esteemed Ms. Taintz is already being eyed for legal counsel. Most. Entertaining. Shadow. Government. EVAH!!1!!

Starrigavan November 16, 2009 at 5:26 pm

I’m wondering if all this passive aggressive whining from Sarah is because she’s worried that when the Playgirl centerfold is published we’ll all know who the real “Thrillah from Wasilla” is…

NotthatLC November 16, 2009 at 6:10 pm

So, let me get this straight, Palin is calling someone else a fame whore??
She truly is the gift that keeps on giving.

Barrelhse November 16, 2009 at 6:11 pm

[re=459572]Extemporanus[/re]: And we all know what happened to Peggy Entwhistle.

NYNYNY November 16, 2009 at 6:26 pm

Ricky Hollywood was the name of the antichrist in the Left Behind series.

Click November 16, 2009 at 6:30 pm

[re=459936]NYNYNY[/re]: …and the name of the lead pornstar in the Right Behind series.

Dolmance November 16, 2009 at 6:32 pm

That cunt.

user-of-owls November 16, 2009 at 6:56 pm

[re=459940]Click[/re]: [re=459936]NYNYNY[/re]: …and the name of the preacher in the “curing gays” series, Straight Ahead.

MzNicky November 16, 2009 at 7:57 pm

[re=459648]Click[/re]: If I’m not mistaken, it’s a picture of a post-mastectomy reconstructed breast. The faux-nipple is made from excised labia. Don’t ask me how I know, I just know.

Click November 16, 2009 at 8:17 pm

[re=459972]MzNicky[/re]: Having someone else’s lips on my tits could pose a problem with my jealous boyfriend.

Ohio Wonkette Fan November 16, 2009 at 9:31 pm

How about “Jack Hardman” or “Dick Jackman”?

LowerdPeninsula November 17, 2009 at 2:56 am

If anyone has seen even a half-weeks worth of Levi on ET and The Insider, you’d know that this is the least of what she could have said about him. Palin, however underservingly and hapharzardly was actually elected to shit, multiple times, even. Levi is just a whore, and a whore that committed the number one sin of whoredom: having a child.

zhubajie November 17, 2009 at 7:57 am

I’m sure Levi could unload on Sarah P., too. Tell the world she was an invester in his ma’s meth business? A user? Sex with half the town while Todd was out at sea? Small town gossip is an endless resource, and who knows? Some of it might even be true.

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