psychopath mad libs

Sarah Palin Is NOT Afraid To Discuss Levi Johnston With A Pejorative Reference To His Own Alter-Ego (?)

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Hey Mr. Levi Johnston, you better WATCH OUT because Sarah Palin as a new very hurtful nickname she will begin calling you! It is “Ricky Hollywood,” for reasons! Reports Ben Smith: “Asked by Oprah about Levi Johnston, Palin, R-Alaska, responded: ‘I don’t think a national television show is the place to discuss some of things he’d been doing and saying.’ She continued: ‘By the way, I don’t know if we call him Levi — I hear he goes by the name Ricky Hollywood now, so, if that’s the case, we don’t want to mess up this gig he’s got going…. Kind of this aspiring, aspiring porn — the things that he’s doing. It’s kind of heartbreaking.'” Smith with the etymology after the jump.

So POLITICO, with its signature Watergate investigative Nexis journalism, figures out “Ricky Hollywood” is a reference to a totally obscure Daily Beast column from June, in which Tank Jones, Levi’s William Safire + Meg Stapleton, is like, “Levi’s so Hollywood we’re going to call him ‘Hollywood.'” Specifically “Ricky Hollywood”:

Just so you’re clear, when Levi Johnston is in L.A. with Tank and running around shopping with a reporter, trying on sequined jackets and pink fedoras and wearing bedazzled T-shirts that say “Go Girl” on them, that’s not Levi you’re seeing.

“What we did was, we came up with an alter ego, Ricky Hollywood,” explains Tank. “Ricky Hollywood would iron his shirt.” Levi looks at Tank and raises his eyebrows. “Yeah, right!” he says. “OK, well, I’d iron it. He doesn’t know how to iron.”

So. Point… Daily Beast. Yes, Daily Beast wins this round.

[Ben Smith, Daily Beast]

About the author

Juli Weiner was Wonkette's beloved intern and books columnist and then morning editor until she was hired away by Vanity Fair in 2010.

View all articles by Juli Weiner


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  • Terry

    “Asked by Oprah about Levi Johnston, Palin, R-Alaska…”

    Shouldn’t that be “R-Quitter”?

  • Extemporanus


  • user-of-owls

    The Japanese are gonna be really pissed that they didn’t come up with “aspiring, aspiring porn” first. They are ALWAYS first.

  • SomeNYGuy

    Which one of Palin’s children is Tank?

  • rottenart

    I’m not sure the world is prepared for a marketing campaign this brilliantly conceived.

  • Mahousu

    So the gays lose the Washington Blade, but they gain Ricky Hollywood. Things even out in the end.

  • snideinplainsight

    William F. Buckley, Jr. wouldn’t think anything of Levi Johnson posing naked with a hockey stick, because WILLIAM F. BUCKLEY, JR. IS DEAD!!!2!

    (Help me please, I don’t know how to stop.)

  • steve

    So………… Sarah says that Levi is gay via the Daily Beast w/r/t some dude ironing his shirts? Is that what I was supposed to get out of that?

  • mightycpa

    Author = Juli Weiner.. that’s funny

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    Ricky Hollywood? Meh, too Michael J. Fox-y. Might I suggest something along the lines of Troy Woodbeater, A. Nalsachs, or Manon Dickey?

  • chascates

    Eventually an entire cable channel will be needed to follow Sarah, Levi, and the assorted handlers, hangers-on, and pundits involved in this, the greatest contest since the War of the Roses.

  • vespula maculata

    Thanks for the confirmation that he’s getting to you, toots.

  • user-of-owls

    …trying on sequined jackets and pink fedoras and wearing bedazzled T-shirts that say “Go Girl” on them, that’s not Levi you’re seeing.

    No, that’s the ACORN-infiltrating “pimp” you’re seeing.

  • Click

    [re=459576]rottenart[/re]: It’s right up there with the Vegas Stripper Truck.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=459577]Mahousu[/re]: Ricky say “Relax”.

  • facehead

    He was with Tank? Or in the tank?

  • RoscoePColtraine

    “I don’t think a national, family-oriented talk show is the place to discuss some of the things he’s been doing, aspiring porn–, gay for pay, fucking dudes for moolah, Going Rogue in the British sense, …it just should be left for the cable channels, not a national talk show.”

  • you cannot be serious

    I can’t wait for the sex video between Ricky Hollywood and Miss Caleefornia.

  • Jamie Sommers

    Levi is 19 year old. What’s Palin’s excuse?

  • user-of-owls

    [re=459590]chascates[/re]: War of the Roses? I was thinking more on the lines of World Wide Wrestling, which shares a similar level of gravitas to this saga.

  • proudgrampa

    Ricky. Holly. Wood.

    There’s a word puzzle in there somewhere…

  • FMA

    [re=459587]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Buck Naked.

  • user-of-owls

    [re=459603]Jamie Sommers[/re]: Hookworms!

  • Extemporanus

    [re=459587]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: How ’bout something more Christian-y, like “Jimmy Hollywood”, perhaps?

    Joe Pesci could reprise his role as “Tank”.

  • proudgrampa

    [re=459590]chascates[/re]: They’re becoming their own reality show, huh?

  • ez

    I just checked the dictionary and was surprised that Ms. Palin’s picture was not next to the entry for ‘passive agressive bitch’.

  • chaste everywhere

    Levi vs. Sarah is not cosy and it is not mocked. Levi vs. Sarah tells the only truth that ultimately matters. Levi vs. Sarah is the light by which human beings can be mended. And after Levi vs. Sarah there is, let me assure you all, nothing.

  • steve

    [re=459600]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: “I don’t think a family-oriented talk show is the place to discuss this type of thing… I will call it Porn, though. I feel comfortable calling the father of my grand child an aspiring porn star. I feel good about it, Oprah, I feel darn good about it. Porn Star! Rolls off the tongue.”

  • bitchincamaro

    That’s no porn-name. Now, Rudy “San Fernando” Valley, that’s a porn-name.

  • Bruno

    Well running in the Miss Alaska competition is certainly different. Very different. There are no hockey sticks for one. At least in public for the Hockey Mom

  • Suds McKenzie

    [re=459587]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: “Hockey Stick Holmes”?

  • Click

    Stay tuned for the make-up sex.

  • AxmxZ

    [re=459609]proudgrampa[/re]: Ricky-Ticky-Holly-Gopher-Wood.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    I thought it was Palin spokesperson Meg Stapleton who refused to dignify controversies and scandals with a comment before getting two or three good jabs in. She got it from Palin herself. Hhmmm, wouldn’t have thought so.

  • magic titty

    [re=459584]mightycpa[/re]: Christ you’re a douche. What is the point of you?

  • Canmon (the Inadequate)

    Ron Mexico would be proud.

  • YellowKid

    [re=459590]chascates[/re]: I think we can look for Kato Kaelin to host their evening wrap-up show.

  • SayItWithWookies

    “Kind of heartbreaking” — that’s sweet how Sarah Palin’s all broken up about the boy she kicked out of her daughter’s conjugal bliss room, and how he’s now whoring himself in the public media. Oh, and how’s that book of yours doing, Sarah-who-quit-the-governorship-for-publicity?

  • Click

    [re=459624]Suds McKenzie[/re]: Cast Levi in a remake of the original ‘Slap Shot.’ He can play Allan Nicholl’s character where he walks up to Sarah and sneers:
    “I’m gonna walk down that stinkin’ runway, open up this faggot robe and wiggle my dick at ’em! And do you know why? Because I want you to have a heart-attack and die so we don’t have to do this shit again!”

  • Click

    [re=459637]magic titty[/re]: I don’t know but it looks to me like an oversucked nipple.

  • Accordion-o-rama

    Here’s hoping Levi is Oprah’s surprise guest during today’s Palin interview.

  • Mad Brahms

    Actual CNN (TV) headline:
    “The Return of Sarah Palin: Is she running for President?”

    Two things.
    1. There is no return. She never went away, because of you media morans and your obsession with her bazongas / ignorant malapropisms.
    2. She is not running for president. How do I know this? BECAUSE WE ARE LESS THAN ONE YEAR INTO OUR CURRENT PRESIDENTS TERM, THAT IS WHY. She *may* choose to run for president, sure, especially if headlines like this keep encouraging her and presenting it as something more than a laughable idea. But 2009 may be a bit early to start, no, CNN?

    I hate Mondays.

  • Cape Clod

    I guess Dirk Diggler was already taken.

  • Gorillionaire

    Already looking forward to the day she “quits” her book tour. You know for the sake of the book.

  • Minnie Mean

    [re=459575]SomeNYGuy[/re]: Yes, I’d like a chart identifying the age, name and gender of her entire brood. I’m really hoping Trip is a dude and of legal age.

  • norbizness

    Seriously*, go ahead and delete my account.

    * semi-seriously

  • thefrontpage

    What about Palin’s own racy porn background? She appears in at least 80 porn tapes that we’ve watched repeatedly over at the “C-men House” on C Street in D.C.

  • El Pinche

    [re=459664]Mad Brahms[/re]: I cannot tell you how much I agree with you.

    Sarah is better than Levi in one way. She can fall under porn categories Big Tits, White Trash, and MILF.

  • nightshift

    Imagine the MILF-Y hate sex Sarah and Levi would have…

  • Snarkalicious

    [re=459637]magic titty[/re]: Hehe…titty.

  • Mahousu

    [re=459736]nightshift[/re]: … have had?

    Not saying, just asking. No, no, not asking, just scurrilously insinuating.

  • sezme

    Just keeping score here the Palins and Entourage. We have Todd, Track, Trig, Tripp, Tank, and Ricky. And I didn’t even have to make any up this time. Cool!

  • gjdodger

    [re=459624]Suds McKenzie[/re]: From what I hear, he’s a real mother pucker.

  • Starrigavan

    Sarah goes rogue, Levi goes commando.

    What’s the difference between a hockey mom and Levi? Levi actually played hockey.

    What’s the difference between Miss California and Levi? Levi is actually getting paid to pose naked, and his tits are real…

    If Levi doesn’t quit in the middle of the photo shoot, I say he wins the “Matanuska Valley Feud”

  • rottenart

    [re=459595]Click[/re]: It’s just too bad Billy Mays is dead. Maybe Sham Wow dude is available for press secretary. Of course, the esteemed Ms. Taintz is already being eyed for legal counsel. Most. Entertaining. Shadow. Government. EVAH!!1!!

  • Starrigavan

    I’m wondering if all this passive aggressive whining from Sarah is because she’s worried that when the Playgirl centerfold is published we’ll all know who the real “Thrillah from Wasilla” is…

  • NotthatLC

    So, let me get this straight, Palin is calling someone else a fame whore??
    She truly is the gift that keeps on giving.

  • Barrelhse

    [re=459572]Extemporanus[/re]: And we all know what happened to Peggy Entwhistle.


    Ricky Hollywood was the name of the antichrist in the Left Behind series.

  • Click

    [re=459936]NYNYNY[/re]: …and the name of the lead pornstar in the Right Behind series.

  • Dolmance

    That cunt.

  • user-of-owls

    [re=459940]Click[/re]: [re=459936]NYNYNY[/re]: …and the name of the preacher in the “curing gays” series, Straight Ahead.

  • MzNicky

    [re=459648]Click[/re]: If I’m not mistaken, it’s a picture of a post-mastectomy reconstructed breast. The faux-nipple is made from excised labia. Don’t ask me how I know, I just know.

  • Click

    [re=459972]MzNicky[/re]: Having someone else’s lips on my tits could pose a problem with my jealous boyfriend.

  • Ohio Wonkette Fan

    How about “Jack Hardman” or “Dick Jackman”?

  • LowerdPeninsula

    If anyone has seen even a half-weeks worth of Levi on ET and The Insider, you’d know that this is the least of what she could have said about him. Palin, however underservingly and hapharzardly was actually elected to shit, multiple times, even. Levi is just a whore, and a whore that committed the number one sin of whoredom: having a child.

  • zhubajie

    I’m sure Levi could unload on Sarah P., too. Tell the world she was an invester in his ma’s meth business? A user? Sex with half the town while Todd was out at sea? Small town gossip is an endless resource, and who knows? Some of it might even be true.