Wonkette
Look everyone, the apocalypse. The folks at William F. Buckley’s internet National Review have launched an entire new weblog dedicated to Sarah “Gogol” Palin’s masterwork, Going Rogue. Ha ha ha, what a… smart idea! We just turned our regular blog into a Going Rogue blog; it really crowds the other stuff out… Anyway the National Review “Rogue” blog is just some dude copy-pasting AP articles without comment, so BOOKMARK IT IMMEDIATELY. [Rogue]
Jim, will you be liveblogging Dame Snowbilly’s appearance on Oprah? It’s MUST-SEE TV!
What do you get for someone who has everything? A box to put it in.
If it’s not worth doing rogue, it’s not worth doing.
You know, our Wonkett was responsible for elevating Snowbilly to the national spotlight, with all those GILF posts a few years back. It’s time to show some shame and humility now, one would think, and move on to more important topics, like Fed chairman Bernanke’s recent speech at the Home Economics Club of New York. There’s comedy gold in there–please go find it!
HAHAHAHAHAHA.
“Surprisingly Palin, who is a supporter of the practice of shooting wolves from aircraft, would be a willing host to vegetarians, according to an excerpt published by the Huffington Post: “If any vegans came over for dinner, I could whip them up a salad, then explain my philosophy on being a carnivore: If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat? I always remind people from outside our state that there’s plenty of room for all Alaska’s animals - right next to the mashed potatoes.”
Where’s the outraged lawyer emails about this, HENNNNGGGH?
I wonder how much the National Review is getting paid to “write” the blog — stellar journalists that they are.
Yes but where are my illicit page scans and out-of-context quotes and snipish early reviews of GOING ROUGE? Where was the earth-shattering KABOOOM??!?
I emailed Dan Savage to ask him if was true that “going rogue” is actually a British idiom for unprotected anal sex.
I’m pretty certain that I read that in The Anal Sex Position Guide: The Best Positions for Easy, Exciting, Mind-Blowing Pleasure by Tristan Taormino.
Fly Over Girl: There are many definitions of “going rogue,” none of them involving unprotected moose sex.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=going+rogue
queeraselvis v 2.0: [ugh] when is the oprah program on?
Fly Over Girl: I’m glad you’re investigating that. Because I’ve also heard that “going rogue” is actually a British idiom for unprotected anal sex. Let us know what Mr. Savage says!
queeraselvis v 2.0: “If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat?” Presumably cannibals would be welcome to dine at Casa Palin as well.
Jim Newell:
When you took this job, you knew there would be days like these. I feel bad for you, but all this prestige and glamor has a price.
“If Sarah Palin is the 2012 GOP nominee for President, the Republican Party platform will be the longest suicide note ever written”
Get plenty of beer and snacks and claim your seat early! This is going to be fuckin’ great!
Today we are all going rogue.
Where is the tiny talking K-Lo ?
just kill me now, before Palin gets any more attention and eventually gets catapulted into national office
Book blog banner bukakke, baby!
snideinplainsight: Lovely early draft excerpts at the Guardian, with editorial notes included. http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/cifamerica/2009/nov/13/sarah-palin-going-rogue-book (impressively, the link was posted on the Rogue site). Chap. 1 begins:
“I was born on a farm in Virginia. [Is this right? – eds. WHATEVER. YOU GUYS ARE IN CHARGE OF SPELLING.
– SP] And I remember my dad gave me a small axe when I was six, and I was super excited and took a hatchet to whatever I could find. So one day I saw this secular liberal cherry tree of my dad’s, and I went rogue. Four chops and the thing went down. Later my dad asked me what had happened, and I told him I had no involvement.”
Jim Newell: In DC, it’s at 4:00 on Channel 7.
“‘But I believe that God created us and also that He can create an evolutionary process that allows species to change and adopt.’”
I suppose she’s talking about the gays, who need to change in order to adopt. Still, a bit of a non-sequitur.
There is no spoon.
Will you have to be over 18 to read Jonah’s comments?
V572625694: I love that line. Trig… it’s what’s for dinner!
V572625694: Is it true that the entire Palin family has hookworms? Cuz I heard it was true. At least that’s what one of the people on some listserv said. Hookworms. I think it was the same guy who posted about the whole Glenn Beck rape/murder thing.
Ugh.
http://www.oprah.com/article/oprahshow/20091111-tows-sarah-palin-videos
Outtakes from Oprah.
Oh, Jesus:
— On the ‘first dude’, Todd Palin: “That day in sunny Texas when the divorce rumors were rampant in the tabloids, I watched Todd, tanned and shirtless, take the baby from my arms and walk him back to the ranch house so Trig could nap while I made calls. Seeing Todd’s blue eyes smiling, I chuckled. Dang, I thought. Divorce Todd? Have you seen Todd?”
That is horrifying.
Palin’s descended from Nikolai Gogol?! Beats being descended “from fish that sprouted legs and crawled out of the sea” or from “monkeys who eventually swung down from the trees,” I guess. (”Eventually”! See, she really is a Darwinette. Or just wants to dazzle us with some of those $50 words.)
I just googled Gogol, which is even funner than it sounds, and found no link to Sarah. But eventually . . .
user-of-owls: I have no evidence that they do not have hookworms. Therefore it must be true. This is simple logic.
queeraselvis v 2.0:
I think the Palin house specialty is moose cock on a cedar plank.
“If Sarah Palin is the 2012 GOP nominee for President, the Republican Party platform will be the longest suicide note ever written”
I doubt this very much. The wingnut right constitutes damn near 30% of the population. If we actually had even semi-representative political parties (e.g. a left, center-left, center, center-right, and right) they would probably be the largest single party. I don’t believe it’s possible for someone to be far right enough to cause serious damage to the party by being their nominee.
“If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat?”
If God had not intended for me to eat small children, why would He make them the perfect size to fit in my oven.
letmetellyou: Sarah, plain and FAIL.
V572625694: Absolutely! She could easily resolve this issue if she would just release a state-certified stool sample. Then we could finally get to the bottom of this mess!
Wow! This is going to be just like that Infinite Summer thing, except that no-one’s actually reading it, and it’s shit anyway, and the whole exercise is tragic because she *isn’t* dead.
queeraselvis v 2.0: She would put bacon bits on the salad because I doubt if she would even realize they are a meat product. That is my understanding of what a salad is in real America.
Some douche on Boston.com posted that this book “WOULD OUTSELL ALL OF OBAMA’S COMBINED!!1!1!1″
I laughed and laughed, called him a douche, and told him Going Rogue would be at BJ’s and Costco for $5.99 after Christmas.
letmetellyou: Sure, once he hits 53 and he starts to sag and his pubes turn gray and he’s got age spots from all that tanning, hell yeah we’ll be gettin’ divorced.
Let’s talk about Gogol instead of Sara Palin. It would make me feel super cool for taking that Slavic Lit class in College, while also dialing down my desire to vomit in my soup, which I am inclined to do whenever I see or hear Sara Palin (unless it’s in blingee format).
Oh yeah…
HAPPY ROGUEVEMBER YOU GUYS!!1
springfield_meltdown: Nope. It’s Co Cola jello with cream cheese and maraschino cherries.
Tommmcatt: I had no idea days would be like this when I took this job. I was naive, not expecting something like Sarah Palin to manifest itself. People who take jobs writing about politics today will find themselves, in two years, liveblogging an actual rabid cheetah (GOP candidate for president) plugging its book on the Sarah Palin Show.
V572625694: Wow! If this is not compelling evidence that the Palin family is one giant colony of hookworms, I don’t know what is!
In susceptible children hookworms cause intellectual, cognitive and growth retardation, intrauterine growth retardation, prematurity, and low birth weight among newborns born to infected mothers.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hookworm
Jim Newell: Is it possible to LIVEblog something that was taped last week? That’s plenty of time to edit out the good parts.
Servo: Larry Sabato is the go-to political scientist. She may not get the nomination but the primaries are going to be absolutely hysterical.
jimmynail: More like that children’s movie, The Neverending Story… Which was also shit.
user-of-owls: Palin stool sample… Gaaaah! Do not want!
HOwever, I’m sure Rich Lowry would be interested.
letmetellyou: She is fuckingcrazy.
Jim Newell: You shouldn’t have p***ed off that gypsy back in college.
Elephants Gerald: And don’t forget the wrapping paper!
http://img402.imageshack.us/img402/2828/55638825.jpg
Larry McAwful: If God did not intend for us to have unprotected anal sex he would not have given us the phrase “Going Rogue.”
user-of-owls: Mmmm…low birth weight, prematurity…that’s what makes ‘em so tasty and tender!
Servo: Lightly salted, if you please.
Sarah Palin’s ‘Going Rogue’ to Be Excerpted in ‘Readers InDigestable’
http://satiricalpolitical.com/2009/11/16/sarah-palin-book-going-rogue/
Jim Newell: Jim, you watching this so we don’t have to makes you a hero — like jumping on a grenade for all of your readers.
I’m just waiting for her next book, Going Commando.
V572625694: so……if God HADN’T wanted us to eat them, would he have made them out of….what?…broccoli? How is it this woman get’s ANY attention from serious people?
tootsieroll: SP is giving BJ’s at Costco for 5.99 during return season, you say? Does the price go up if I’m returning her book for store credit?
It’s like Reese’s peanut butter cups, expect inside of getting chocolate in one’s peanut butter (and vice versa), it’s like getting rhino feces in one’s sulfur-laden effluent. I look forward to the 18472 additional posts on the subject.
Will no one rid us of this tiresome, blogwhoring beast?!
“Hey hey, ho ho, filthy blog whores got to go!”
..and more: http://wonkette.com/412220/david-broder-needs-new-material-you-guys#comment-459397
rabblerouser42: Speaking of stool samples….
V572625694: Like Cornish game hens with arms.
user-of-owls: I’m pretty sure moderating the comments gets in the way of time spent monitoring one’s 12-browser-Palin-RSS-feed set-up. Just to make sure this was the case, I made a Giant Campbell Brown joke on another thread and was not killed, execution-style, by Wonkette operatives.
But when will The Corner post a blog about the blog about Going Rogue? This circle jerk is far from complete.
Jim Newell: Although the cheetah will carry Texas, Alaska, and Alambama, it will still lose the general election and go on to be a campaign advisor to the GOP candidate in the next Arkansas governors’s race (who is a flatulent, three-legged warthog).
user-of-owls: Jim’s too busy training for the Oprah-Sarah live blog. Working on his endurance, practicing typing while snookered on Mad Dog 20/20 and bathtub gin, etc.
Jim Newell: Lucky you that the Republican party got its full retard on during your watch.
“If God had meant for us to throw the football, he would of put wings on pigs.”
SmutBoffin: And the most accepted form of political discourse will be in the form of biting each other on the back of the leg. All national issues will be solved in this way.
PerhapsSo: It’s all pictures.
I realize I’m old, and therefor concerned with old people & dead people, but, would it be relevant to ask someone at NRO to honestly tell us what they think William F. Buckley, Jr. might have thought of Sarah Palin…or is that somehow a bad question?
William F. Buckley, Jr. wouldn’t think anything of Sarah Palin, because WILLIAM F. BUCKLEY, JR. IS DEAD!!!
Haw hawy haw, that’s the best laugh I’ve had all day.
If god didn’t want Nidal Hasan to kill all those soldiers on Ft. Hood, why did he create semi-automatics? HENGGGH? HENGGGH?
Dumb cunt.
If God didn’t like the gays, how come He made the internets out of gay pr0n?
TGY: No shit, right? The GOP is killing the snark by becoming a caricature of a caricature! It’s like we don’t even have to do anything and it’s still funny. And by funny, I mean like when a clown slits his wrists. I blame zombie Bill Buckley.
We could carpet bomb Afghanistan with Palin material until the Taliban all committed suicide.
The tagline on other NRO articles by this blog’s “author:”
Robert Costa is the William F. Buckley Jr. Fellow at the National Review Institute.
Can you say, spinning in his grave?
I think the angular momentum generated is what will bring on the apocalypse.
snideinplainsight: That never gets old!
binarian: How is it this woman get’s ANY attention from serious people?
I think you may have an overly generous definition of the word ’serious.’
Actually, Fly Over Girl, the rumor about unprotected sex was started by a fellow who goes by the name “Jack” on http://www.phlogredux.org a couple months back. Larry McAwful here is known as “Chance” there and the two have publicly conspired to start this bogus rumor. Jack publicly stated at the time it was a lie but he thought it would be funny if he could get it rolling on the ‘net and Chance/McAwful just posted here: http://www.phlogredux.org/messages/208037.html regarding this very thread and his effort to “push” the lie.
Jim Newell:
That or posting tips on avoiding wasteland raiders and radiation burn, depending on how 2012 goes.
The best thing is that they posted a Dana Perino photo. Mebbe it’s an appeal to the New Republic’s “conservative intellectual” base.
I meant National Review. Tsk
SillyLefty: Yep, I know that.
I did write to Savage to see if he hated Palin enough to perpetuate it.
Fly Over Girl: Wasn’t so much to inform you as to make it common knowledge here so it’ll be more easily kicked in the nuts by others if it should grow legs.
That cunt.
PerhapsSo: No, “Going Commando” will be Todd’s book after the divorce.