NATION OF RETARDS  2:28 pm November 12, 2009

Meet America’s Greatest Colorado State Senator, Dave Schultheis

by Jim Newell

Ah, very true. It’s the only logical conclusion, that President Barack Obama wanting to pass moderate bills incentivizing environmental responsibility (and maybe creating new jobs in the process) and providing basic health insurance to 30-40 million Americans makes him just like those 9/11 hijackers, and it’s time to bumrush the cockpit and crash his Kenyan ass into the quaint Pennsylvania countryside, before he gets to Bush Junior. Colorado State Sen. Dave Schultheis meets Twitter, everyone.

We’re laughing too hard to type coherently right now… he… he didn’t… he didn’t mean anything about 9/11… when he typed the obvious 9/11 thing… that everyone knows about… oh my god…

State Sen. David Schultheis said he didn’t intend for a Twitter post accusing President Barack Obama of “flying the U.S. plane right into the ground” and ending with “let’s roll” as a threat or a reference to United Flight 93, which crashed during the 2001 terrorist attacks.

“Let’s roll” reportedly were the last words of Todd Beamer before he and other passengers tried to gain control of their hijacked jet. The plane crashed into a Pennsylvania field short of its intended target.

[...]

“‘Let’s roll.’ It’s a comment people use all the time any more. ‘Let’s get going. Let’s move on. Let’s make major changes,’ ” Schultheis said. “I can see it now. But you’re busy doing jillions of things during the day. You sometimes don’t analyze every single word.”

Dave Schultheis, the dumbest liar since at least a few days ago. Dave Schultheis… Dave Schultheis for president or whatever!

State Sen. Schultheis’ “let’s roll” tweet criticizing Obama stirs ire [Denver Post]

 
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{ 103 comments }

AnnieGetYourFun November 12, 2009 at 2:30 pm

I’m not actually worried that Sen. David Schultheis has for a second ,thought.

FMA November 12, 2009 at 2:31 pm

Colorado. Figures. Air’s too thin. Damages the brain.

binarian November 12, 2009 at 2:32 pm

“Let’s Roll”??? Your a first class dumbass, Mr. State Senator of Nowhere.

I-man November 12, 2009 at 2:34 pm

This certainly is new. I am glad that Obama has stopped being friends with terrorists and become one himself, about time.

gurukalehuru November 12, 2009 at 2:34 pm

I propose we simplify his name. I suggest “shitface.”

The Station Manager November 12, 2009 at 2:35 pm

That doesn’t make any fucking sense. The passengers said let’s roll, then made the plane crash into the ground. The plane wasn’t on its way to the ground, and then rescued by the passengers.

I guess either way, we’re all going to be murdered by 9/11, in poorly constructed metaphor, forever.

smitallica November 12, 2009 at 2:35 pm

Yeah, so anyway, fuck this guy.

problemwithcaring November 12, 2009 at 2:36 pm

For real – WTF?

Jukesgrrl November 12, 2009 at 2:37 pm

140 characters and he’s allocating one to a comma he doesn’t need. Way to waste our nation’s precious resources, Dude!

Come here a minute November 12, 2009 at 2:37 pm

This reminds me of how everyone jumped to conclusions about that Dachau photo in the Bachmann health care rally — why did people assume it was a reference to the Holocaust? You sometimes don’t analyze every piece of clip art.

Larry McAwful November 12, 2009 at 2:37 pm

I value humor in the face of inappropriate and tragic situations, like the one Mr. Schultheis has loped into here. That is why I appreciate my Wonkette for managing to eke out a laugh or two from this. I can usually do it, but not this time. Maybe later. But for now: fuck you, Schultheis.

Thank you for bearing with my moment of serosity. It will stop.

fatherfigure November 12, 2009 at 2:37 pm

Holy holy holy shit!

Hedley Lamar November 12, 2009 at 2:38 pm

Moral dwarf.

shadowMark November 12, 2009 at 2:38 pm

He explained that when he said “Let’s roll” he really meant that he finds Obama hotter, hornier, wetter and tighter than Bush and wants to move on to more than just twittering about it.

Mr. Toad November 12, 2009 at 2:39 pm

So, when a plane heads for the ground, and then rolls, isn’t that called “landing?”

Some people shouldn’t use metaphors.

norbizness November 12, 2009 at 2:39 pm

Schultheis: Dutch for “inbred fuckwit.”

JMP November 12, 2009 at 2:39 pm

Figures that he represents Colorado Springs – home of Ted Haggard. Does Sen. Schulshit also like the male hookers and meth?

hockeymom November 12, 2009 at 2:39 pm

Awww….that’s just the most offensive thing he’s done LATELY. Check this out from the Denver Post article:

“Schultheis voted in February against a bill requiring pregnant women to be tested for AIDS to prevent spreading the disease to the children. He said then that infected children would set examples for women against sexual promiscuity.”

Stupak/Schultheis 2012

CapnFatback November 12, 2009 at 2:39 pm

[re=457011]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: C’mon, Annie, give him a break; it takes about a second to think about where to misplace that ,comma.

Click November 12, 2009 at 2:39 pm

Cunt, cunt, cunty, cunt, cunt.
Cunt.

Buzz Feedback November 12, 2009 at 2:40 pm

I call shotgun on the U.S. Plane.

SayItWithWookies November 12, 2009 at 2:41 pm

He said he was angry about the president’s fiscal policies but didn’t mean to compare him to the hijackers.

Oh, right — that “flying the US plane right into the ground at full speed” just came out all by itself. Well I understand how the fucking assmunching inbred halfwit racist fanatic might manage to say something without becoming aware of it until the next day — male prostitutes and meth will do that to a person.

Note to self: read this post tomorrow to make sure I didn’t say anything unintended.

Lascauxcaveman November 12, 2009 at 2:41 pm

quotable quote: “Never question another man’s motive. His wisdom, yes, but not his motives.”
— Dwight D. Eisenhower

(Note to Mr. Schutheis: In case you aren’t familiar with him, Dwight D. Eisenhower was the last universally admired Republican president; one who never presided over hellishly bad economic/warmongering decisions, and ran a pretty sane operation for two full terms.)

proudgrampa November 12, 2009 at 2:41 pm

Wow. This Twitter thing is really getting out of hand.

“‘Tis better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.”

Mustang November 12, 2009 at 2:43 pm

Jim, I think you shouldn’t jump to conclusions. I think he meant, “LET’S ROLL up the sleeves on our $300 shirts and get an effin’ Republican elected so we can get back to the good old days when we could say “LET’S ROLL in big piles of large denomination bills because I sure as hell am tired of having to sit in the back of the Senate bus.”

MOG November 12, 2009 at 2:43 pm

I may have to become one of his followers, I can use a good laugh every now and then. What a db.

4tehlulz November 12, 2009 at 2:43 pm

I’m becoming convinced that Twitter is just a plot to keep the Secret Service distracted so that the NWO (i.e., Ron Paul) can replace the president with their robotic duplicate.

ph7 November 12, 2009 at 2:44 pm

Schultheis voted in February against a bill requiring pregnant women to be tested for AIDS to prevent spreading the disease to the children. He said then that infected children would set examples for women against sexual promiscuity.

This guy is a fountain of Big Ideas.

Potater November 12, 2009 at 2:44 pm

Methinks the Senator does not ,think very often.

RoscoePColtraine November 12, 2009 at 2:45 pm

U.S. Plane Let’s Roll — I also have difficulty remembering the rules of capitalization. sometimes it works better and ,is safer to use all lowercase knowumsayin?

Aflac Shrugged November 12, 2009 at 2:47 pm

“The name Schultheis derives from the Middle High German schultheize, or ‘village headman’. The term originally denoted a man responsible for collecting dues, and paying them to the lord of the manor.”

Swap out “dues” with “preferential treatment under the law in all ways” and “lords” with “the wealthiest 5% of the population,” and you’ve basically got a Republican breeding program in the late-Renaissance German states.

dum librul November 12, 2009 at 2:47 pm

[re=457044]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: How’d that whole Operation Ajax thing turn out?

One Yield Regular November 12, 2009 at 2:47 pm

[re=457039]hockeymom[/re]:

(blank space above indicates speechlessness)

JMP November 12, 2009 at 2:48 pm

[re=457039]hockeymom[/re]: But remember ,the anti-abortion movement is all about love of the little fetuses ,not misogyny.

eastcoastliberal November 12, 2009 at 2:50 pm

[re=457054]ph7[/re]: I was already seething with anger. Until you posted that. Thanks A LOT! Jesus Fucking Christ what is happening in this country?

Click November 12, 2009 at 2:51 pm

[re=457058]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: He wanted to say ‘US Air’ but was worried about trademark infringemnt. He’s a savvy character this, guy.

chascates November 12, 2009 at 2:51 pm

Of course he’s from Colorado Springs.

Extemporanus November 12, 2009 at 2:52 pm

Being from Colorado, the senator should know that the U.S. is not a plane. It’s a mylar balloon being ghostridden by a 6-year old biracial boy.

And not incidently, heaven is a truck that got stuck on the breeze.

Mustang November 12, 2009 at 2:54 pm

[re=457059]Aflac Shrugged[/re]: “The name Schultheis derives from the Middle High German schultheize, or ‘village headman’.

Ot in this case, “dickhead man.”

Thechansen November 12, 2009 at 2:57 pm

And the “reverse racism” card should be getting dropped right about….. Now. It’s clearly racist to point out a SEEMINGLY racist comment. Obama’s deep hatred of white culture and stuff.

Sen. Shitface is a national treasure. As are those who voted him into office.

Let’s Roll. Also.

freakishlystrong November 12, 2009 at 2:58 pm

And these fucking guano tweeters have the utter lack of irony to accuse, (and thus play the victim), Obama of not wanting to work with Republicans.

Extemporanus November 12, 2009 at 2:58 pm

[re=457059]Aflac Shrugged[/re]: Maybe Herr Schultheis intended to twat “Roll out the barrel”, but he was unfortunately lacking in character.

RoscoePColtraine November 12, 2009 at 2:58 pm

Today, we are all misplaced ,,,’s languishing within ill-conceived metaphors marked with retarded capitalization.

slappypaddy November 12, 2009 at 3:00 pm

another lame-ass coward politician who says what he means and then runs for mommy’s skirts. yawn yawn.

Lascauxcaveman November 12, 2009 at 3:00 pm

[re=457060]dum librul[/re]: Pretty well, as far as Republican secret wars go. It took a whole 25 years for the deal to go sour. You can’t kill my Ike-boner that easily.

Brendan M. November 12, 2009 at 3:02 pm

[re=457039]hockeymom[/re]: I’m not one to advocate political violence, but fuck!

WarAndG November 12, 2009 at 3:06 pm

It’s pronounced Senator “Shit’head,” the emphasis being on the DOUCHE BAG.

Another DC Lawyer (Again) November 12, 2009 at 3:08 pm

Also, don’t forget that one of the other guys who stormed the cockpit on Flt. 93 was one of The Gays. So. We can’t have that.

Next Great Pwndit November 12, 2009 at 3:08 pm

He obviously ran out of letters on the Twitter.

What he was probably trying to say was, “Let’s roll around in a big pile of shit!”

Or maybe, “Let’s roll another one, just like the other one.”

Sara in the West November 12, 2009 at 3:09 pm

[re=457039]hockeymom[/re]: He not done yet. This is the last line of the Denver Post article: The senator railed in January against public service announcements in Spanish encouraging people to fasten seat belts. Dumb ass.

Click November 12, 2009 at 3:09 pm

Anyway, I believe Mr.Beamer’s last words were actually, “Someone get that goddamned breakfast cart out of the way!”

Barrelhse November 12, 2009 at 3:09 pm

[re=457043]SayItWithWookies[/re]: …or miss including something you did..

ph7 November 12, 2009 at 3:09 pm

[re=457068]eastcoastliberal[/re]: All I can figure is that politics is such a shitty job, an enormous void exists that sucks in every flavor of crackpot.

The only hope we have is if Ted Kennedy gets really pissed off, pops out of his casket, splits open the earth and says “enough of this bullshit, I’m back bitches!”

FMA November 12, 2009 at 3:10 pm

[re=457068]eastcoastliberal[/re]: A large portion of the population has been subsisting on a diet of lead paint chips since about 1980.

CycloneArmageddon November 12, 2009 at 3:10 pm

Oh you lying cheap ?Pongo Kenya ,terrorists narwhal HENGGHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Doglessliberal November 12, 2009 at 3:13 pm

This lying piece of shit needs to be forced to watch “Flight 93″ and then flogged on live TV.

Extemporanus November 12, 2009 at 3:13 pm

[re=457098]Another DC Lawyer (Again)[/re]: He was the only guy with prior experience storming a cock pit.

Click November 12, 2009 at 3:17 pm

[re=457116]Extemporanus[/re]: I was going to correct him, but figured you could say it better.
I was right.

Georgia Burning November 12, 2009 at 3:19 pm

[re=457070]chascates[/re]: explains a lot, especially the ignorance about 9/11. Don’t think he’d get many votes in Pueblo.

snideinplainsight November 12, 2009 at 3:20 pm

“Make no mistake. The United States will hunt down and punish those responsible for these cowardly acts”

It’s a comment people use all the time any more. ‘Let’s get those bad guys. Let’s apprehend the responsible parties.’ ” Schultheis said. “I can see it now. But you’re busy doing jillion bazillion things during the day. You sometimes don’t analyze every single word.”

FlownOver November 12, 2009 at 3:20 pm

[re=457059]Aflac Shrugged[/re]: So it’s kind of like “overlord?”

I ,for one ,welcome our new punctuation-challenged schultheis .

teebob2000 November 12, 2009 at 3:23 pm

I wonder tho: did he in fact say “jillions”, or did he say “GILLIONS” ?

Sick fuck.

the problem child November 12, 2009 at 3:24 pm

[re=457100]Sara in the West[/re]: Well, you can’t have those Spanish speakers living long enough to breed. This is Real Murka!

Pithaughn November 12, 2009 at 3:26 pm

As a 3d generation CO native I ….
oww, just hit myself with a baseball bat in shame. At least here on the Western Slope the racists come right out and call him ( The President of the United States ) a dumb nigger thug.

DP November 12, 2009 at 3:26 pm

I ‘d get mad about this ,but I have about a jillion other things to do.

Cicada November 12, 2009 at 3:30 pm

Don’t for a second, think. Thoughts are for sheep. Real Americans(TM) spend every second in a frothy mixture of rage and fear, with occasional breaks to eat a gallon tub of raw cookie dough.

QueenOfTheDamned November 12, 2009 at 3:32 pm

[re=457100]Sara in the West[/re]: That just proves he’s consistent in his “thinking.”. A few 20-vehicle pileups with some decapitated bodies will teach those illegals a lesson about illegally immigrating.

But I’m seriously. Where the H-E-double hockey sticks do they find these cretins? Do they work their way out of their strait jackets and volunteer, or does somebody recruit them?

DustBowlBlues November 12, 2009 at 3:36 pm

What an idiot. I would chastise Jim soundly if he so blatantly misused a comma.

Who will teach the children, Sen. Whoever-the-Hell-You-Are?

DustBowlBlues November 12, 2009 at 3:41 pm

[re=457027]Jukesgrrl[/re]: Sweet Jesus, has there ever been a potty-mouthed snark blog with as many grammar nazis on it? (Including me, of course.)

What are we–a bunch of unemployed Bitterz with Masters Degrees in liberal arts? What? We are? Oh. Well, that explains it.

DustBowlBlues November 12, 2009 at 3:43 pm

[re=457039]hockeymom[/re]: Was this guy born in Oklahoma, or what? That’s sounds cretinous enough to be one of the House Republics.

CycloneArmageddon November 12, 2009 at 3:44 pm

[re=457027]Jukesgrrl[/re]:

“140 characters and he’s allocating one to a comma he doesn’t need. Way to waste our nation’s precious resources, _cock monkey_!”

If we’re going to start picking on everyone’s writing…

Ducksworthy November 12, 2009 at 3:48 pm

Colorado Springs the New Christian Utopia

http://www.rickross.com/reference/fundamentalists/fund196.html

CapnFatback November 12, 2009 at 3:48 pm

Is it possible that the good senator, being from Colorado, confused Obama with John Denver?

Too soon?

AnnieGetYourFun November 12, 2009 at 3:53 pm

[re=457159]DustBowlBlues[/re]: To be fair, I technically have a job and never finished my Master’s. COINCIDENCE??!!?!? I think ,not.

betterDeadThanRed November 12, 2009 at 3:55 pm

Ed Kowalski, a director for the New York-based 9/11 Families for a Secure America, said, “Let’s not cheapen what happened on Sept. 11 by making random and/or ill-fated comparisons to current policy”

No, Republican politicians should just stick with the Holocaust and NAZI analogies. The imagery is so much more effective and it only bothers joos.

revbob November 12, 2009 at 3:56 pm

The President needs to pitch or maybe yaw. Rolling is useless. It just screws the plane into the ground.

Zadig November 12, 2009 at 3:57 pm

[re=457085]slappypaddy[/re]: Oh, don’t give him even that much credit. He knew precisely what he was saying, but it wasn’t a question of whether he actually believed it or not. He simply said the most sensationalist thing he could think of, cynically attempting to evoke 9/11 for cheap political points, whatever those are spent on.

And when it backfired (i.e. not all Americans are as amoral and awful as he), he tries to play stupid. While the grammar on display clearly marks him out as such, the actual message wasn’t a mistake, and it wasn’t stupidity. It was cynical evil.

Mustang November 12, 2009 at 4:01 pm

[re=457159]DustBowlBlues[/re]: That would be me, except substitute “hilariously underemployed” for “unemployed.”

Ducksworthy November 12, 2009 at 4:03 pm

Colorado Springs – the New White Christian Utopia. Amen

Lawndarts November 12, 2009 at 4:04 pm

This guy’s no Tolstoy

M Lite November 12, 2009 at 4:22 pm

You should all lay off. This Real American is doing, literally, “jillions of things during the day.” How could he be bothered to proofread or think about a Twitter that…he wrote himself? I’m sure this will get him lots of campaign funds and he’ll soon be sponsored by Sarah Palin in a runoff against some slightly less crazy Commie Nazi Socialist Godless Establishment GOPer.

Mr Blifil November 12, 2009 at 4:25 pm

[re=457022]The Station Manager[/re]: Actually the passengers said “Let’s roll,” whereupon the hijackers realized there was a passenger insurrection and they began extreme maneuvers to cause anybody not buckled in to bounce around like a rag doll. Then they decided they would simply point the nose at the ground and start ululating. Tragically, one of the about-to-die passengers was recorded as saying “If we don’t get into that cockpit we’re all going to die…”

So this is another case of a Republican needing to be told that the thing he said doesn’t mean what he thinks it means. And I would also submit that his odds of gaining access to the cockpit are just as slim as the 9/11 victims whose tragedy he hopes to appropriate for his own ego. The fucking scumbag. Also.

Mr Blifil November 12, 2009 at 4:28 pm

How many sperm are in a “jizzion?”

Min November 12, 2009 at 4:31 pm

“Let’s not cheapen what happened on Sept. 11 by making random and/or ill-fated comparisons to current policy,”

I see your cheapened 9/11 and raise you a false Holocaust analogy.

Sara in the West November 12, 2009 at 4:39 pm

[re=457243]M Lite[/re]: Actually, according to the Westword , the good Senator (after praying about it) is retiring after his term ends in 2010. He also backed Hoffman in NY-23. Dumb ass squared.

engulfedinflames November 12, 2009 at 5:04 pm

This is one very small man.

Words November 12, 2009 at 5:18 pm

[re=457276]Sara in the West[/re]: Makes you worry about what he’ll be up to in 2010…

Guppy06 November 12, 2009 at 5:22 pm

Wasn’t clear to everyone that he meant “do a barrel roll?”

Click November 12, 2009 at 5:40 pm

[re=457336]Guppy06[/re]: Heading into the ground like that, I think the US Plane must have been Stalin.

Extemporanus November 12, 2009 at 6:10 pm

[re=457124]Click[/re]: Thanks, but it was your moving of the cart that really helped clear my way.

Atlas Spanked November 12, 2009 at 6:11 pm

I’m starting to think that all Republikkan politicians should be composted, just to get some sort of constructive benefit out of them. But they’d probably make the arugula taste like sewage.

Dreadful Gate November 12, 2009 at 8:15 pm

@Sen_Shultheis Eat a giant bag of marinated pig dicks, then die.

OldGrowthSwamp November 12, 2009 at 9:39 pm

Dude has protected his Tweets.

President Beeblebrox November 12, 2009 at 11:25 pm

This trope is getting old. Republican draws obvious parallel between Obama and {insert horrific event here}, Republican is called on his/her ridiculous statement, Republican denies that s/he meant to draw parallel between Obama and {insert horrific event here} & that the statement had many innocuous meanings.

Don’t for a second ,think that nothing get’s by Greta.

PoetryMan November 12, 2009 at 11:42 pm

[re=457531]OldGrowthSwamp[/re]: Yeah, so I flagged him as spam ,because LET’S ROLL.

LowerdPeninsula November 13, 2009 at 12:56 am

I’m mad, because I want to be shocked by this, but, alas, this has become run-of-the-mill, textbook Republican practice. Lather, rinse, repeat, an’ all ‘at.

This is the Republican litmus test, guys. That is, if you can sit down, type something god-awful like this unironically and beliving yourself to be clever, and then have the gall to post it to the internet whilst smirking to oneself like a prideful child, then, congratulations; you’re a Republican. The modern Republican Party is proof positive that the god they worship and murder for does not exist.

I give this joke two pies in the face, and one in a field in Pennsylvania out of ten.

LowerdPeninsula November 13, 2009 at 1:01 am

BTW, Mountain West Christianity, particularly the kind practiced in the hell-hole of Colorado Springs, is like Southern Christianity but with even more guns, and militas, also.

Colorado Springs is the Tora Bora of the Mountain West. I say fuck sending more troops into Afghanistan, and deploy them to retake the United States Air Force Academy in CS.

artpepper November 13, 2009 at 2:32 am

Shouldn’t Republicans worry that they’ve running out of Evil Villain comparisons for the POTUS?

Don’t for a second ,think Obama wants what is best for U.S. He is eating our liver with fava beans and a nice chianti.

Audacity of Dope November 13, 2009 at 10:18 am

[re=457591]artpepper[/re]: FTW.

Bruno November 13, 2009 at 11:13 am

But it is the same plane that N0bamas dog disrespected by not wearing a suit and tie, and soiling it. Should the world ever come to an end and Snowbilly gains enough stature to be in AF1, I hope she sits on the soiled seat.

Trace November 13, 2009 at 1:11 pm

So wait, what is this? Is “Let’s roll” somehow related to 9/11? It’s an innocent phrase I say all the time while referencing airplane hijackings. I don’t know what you guys are talking about. I’ve read every comment here and I still don’t understand. Did someone say that on 9/11? Does it mean something? I don’t understand. I don’t think we should jump to conclusions or “bum rush the cockpit,” so to speak. I just can’t get over this. And how dare any of you expect a Republican to be familiar with the intricacies of a tragedy like 9/11, something too horrible and sacred for them to even consider for very long without weeping? You make me sick and also are terrorists and maybe rapists.

tiger November 13, 2009 at 2:58 pm

Colo-what? who cares.

Unlearned Hand November 30, 2009 at 11:22 am

His Wikipedia article lists him as “Christian.” Did Jesus hate black people and babies too? Because if he did, we really need to reconsider spending so much on his birthday.

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