Meet America’s Greatest Colorado State Senator, Dave Schultheis

  nation of retards

Ah, very true. It’s the only logical conclusion, that President Barack Obama wanting to pass moderate bills incentivizing environmental responsibility (and maybe creating new jobs in the process) and providing basic health insurance to 30-40 million Americans makes him just like those 9/11 hijackers, and it’s time to bumrush the cockpit and crash his Kenyan ass into the quaint Pennsylvania countryside, before he gets to Bush Junior. Colorado State Sen. Dave Schultheis meets Twitter, everyone.

We’re laughing too hard to type coherently right now… he… he didn’t… he didn’t mean anything about 9/11… when he typed the obvious 9/11 thing… that everyone knows about… oh my god…

State Sen. David Schultheis said he didn’t intend for a Twitter post accusing President Barack Obama of “flying the U.S. plane right into the ground” and ending with “let’s roll” as a threat or a reference to United Flight 93, which crashed during the 2001 terrorist attacks.

“Let’s roll” reportedly were the last words of Todd Beamer before he and other passengers tried to gain control of their hijacked jet. The plane crashed into a Pennsylvania field short of its intended target.

[...]

 
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“‘Let’s roll.’ It’s a comment people use all the time any more. ‘Let’s get going. Let’s move on. Let’s make major changes,’ ” Schultheis said. “I can see it now. But you’re busy doing jillions of things during the day. You sometimes don’t analyze every single word.”

Dave Schultheis, the dumbest liar since at least a few days ago. Dave Schultheis… Dave Schultheis for president or whatever!

State Sen. Schultheis’ “let’s roll” tweet criticizing Obama stirs ire [Denver Post]

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About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

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103 comments

  1. I-man

    This certainly is new. I am glad that Obama has stopped being friends with terrorists and become one himself, about time.

  2. The Station Manager

    That doesn’t make any fucking sense. The passengers said let’s roll, then made the plane crash into the ground. The plane wasn’t on its way to the ground, and then rescued by the passengers.

    I guess either way, we’re all going to be murdered by 9/11, in poorly constructed metaphor, forever.

  3. Jukesgrrl

    140 characters and he’s allocating one to a comma he doesn’t need. Way to waste our nation’s precious resources, Dude!

  4. Come here a minute

    This reminds me of how everyone jumped to conclusions about that Dachau photo in the Bachmann health care rally — why did people assume it was a reference to the Holocaust? You sometimes don’t analyze every piece of clip art.

  5. Larry McAwful

    I value humor in the face of inappropriate and tragic situations, like the one Mr. Schultheis has loped into here. That is why I appreciate my Wonkette for managing to eke out a laugh or two from this. I can usually do it, but not this time. Maybe later. But for now: fuck you, Schultheis.

    Thank you for bearing with my moment of serosity. It will stop.

  6. shadowMark

    He explained that when he said “Let’s roll” he really meant that he finds Obama hotter, hornier, wetter and tighter than Bush and wants to move on to more than just twittering about it.

  7. Mr. Toad

    So, when a plane heads for the ground, and then rolls, isn’t that called “landing?”

    Some people shouldn’t use metaphors.

  8. JMP

    Figures that he represents Colorado Springs – home of Ted Haggard. Does Sen. Schulshit also like the male hookers and meth?

  9. hockeymom

    Awww….that’s just the most offensive thing he’s done LATELY. Check this out from the Denver Post article:

    “Schultheis voted in February against a bill requiring pregnant women to be tested for AIDS to prevent spreading the disease to the children. He said then that infected children would set examples for women against sexual promiscuity.”

    Stupak/Schultheis 2012

  10. CapnFatback

    [re=457011]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: C’mon, Annie, give him a break; it takes about a second to think about where to misplace that ,comma.

  11. SayItWithWookies

    He said he was angry about the president’s fiscal policies but didn’t mean to compare him to the hijackers.

    Oh, right — that “flying the US plane right into the ground at full speed” just came out all by itself. Well I understand how the fucking assmunching inbred halfwit racist fanatic might manage to say something without becoming aware of it until the next day — male prostitutes and meth will do that to a person.

    Note to self: read this post tomorrow to make sure I didn’t say anything unintended.

  12. Lascauxcaveman

    quotable quote: “Never question another man’s motive. His wisdom, yes, but not his motives.”
    — Dwight D. Eisenhower

    (Note to Mr. Schutheis: In case you aren’t familiar with him, Dwight D. Eisenhower was the last universally admired Republican president; one who never presided over hellishly bad economic/warmongering decisions, and ran a pretty sane operation for two full terms.)

  13. proudgrampa

    Wow. This Twitter thing is really getting out of hand.

    “‘Tis better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.”

  14. Mustang

    Jim, I think you shouldn’t jump to conclusions. I think he meant, “LET’S ROLL up the sleeves on our $300 shirts and get an effin’ Republican elected so we can get back to the good old days when we could say “LET’S ROLL in big piles of large denomination bills because I sure as hell am tired of having to sit in the back of the Senate bus.”

  15. 4tehlulz

    I’m becoming convinced that Twitter is just a plot to keep the Secret Service distracted so that the NWO (i.e., Ron Paul) can replace the president with their robotic duplicate.

  16. ph7

    Schultheis voted in February against a bill requiring pregnant women to be tested for AIDS to prevent spreading the disease to the children. He said then that infected children would set examples for women against sexual promiscuity.

    This guy is a fountain of Big Ideas.

  17. RoscoePColtraine

    U.S. Plane Let’s Roll — I also have difficulty remembering the rules of capitalization. sometimes it works better and ,is safer to use all lowercase knowumsayin?

  18. Aflac Shrugged

    “The name Schultheis derives from the Middle High German schultheize, or ‘village headman’. The term originally denoted a man responsible for collecting dues, and paying them to the lord of the manor.”

    Swap out “dues” with “preferential treatment under the law in all ways” and “lords” with “the wealthiest 5% of the population,” and you’ve basically got a Republican breeding program in the late-Renaissance German states.

  19. JMP

    [re=457039]hockeymom[/re]: But remember ,the anti-abortion movement is all about love of the little fetuses ,not misogyny.

  20. eastcoastliberal

    [re=457054]ph7[/re]: I was already seething with anger. Until you posted that. Thanks A LOT! Jesus Fucking Christ what is happening in this country?

  21. Click

    [re=457058]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: He wanted to say ‘US Air’ but was worried about trademark infringemnt. He’s a savvy character this, guy.

  22. Extemporanus

    Being from Colorado, the senator should know that the U.S. is not a plane. It’s a mylar balloon being ghostridden by a 6-year old biracial boy.

    And not incidently, heaven is a truck that got stuck on the breeze.

  23. Mustang

    [re=457059]Aflac Shrugged[/re]: “The name Schultheis derives from the Middle High German schultheize, or ‘village headman’.

    Ot in this case, “dickhead man.”

  24. Thechansen

    And the “reverse racism” card should be getting dropped right about….. Now. It’s clearly racist to point out a SEEMINGLY racist comment. Obama’s deep hatred of white culture and stuff.

    Sen. Shitface is a national treasure. As are those who voted him into office.

    Let’s Roll. Also.

  25. freakishlystrong

    And these fucking guano tweeters have the utter lack of irony to accuse, (and thus play the victim), Obama of not wanting to work with Republicans.

  26. Extemporanus

    [re=457059]Aflac Shrugged[/re]: Maybe Herr Schultheis intended to twat “Roll out the barrel”, but he was unfortunately lacking in character.

  27. RoscoePColtraine

    Today, we are all misplaced ,,,’s languishing within ill-conceived metaphors marked with retarded capitalization.

  28. slappypaddy

    another lame-ass coward politician who says what he means and then runs for mommy’s skirts. yawn yawn.

  29. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=457060]dum librul[/re]: Pretty well, as far as Republican secret wars go. It took a whole 25 years for the deal to go sour. You can’t kill my Ike-boner that easily.

  30. Another DC Lawyer (Again)

    Also, don’t forget that one of the other guys who stormed the cockpit on Flt. 93 was one of The Gays. So. We can’t have that.

  31. Next Great Pwndit

    He obviously ran out of letters on the Twitter.

    What he was probably trying to say was, “Let’s roll around in a big pile of shit!”

    Or maybe, “Let’s roll another one, just like the other one.”

  32. Sara in the West

    [re=457039]hockeymom[/re]: He not done yet. This is the last line of the Denver Post article: The senator railed in January against public service announcements in Spanish encouraging people to fasten seat belts. Dumb ass.

  33. Click

    Anyway, I believe Mr.Beamer’s last words were actually, “Someone get that goddamned breakfast cart out of the way!”

  34. ph7

    [re=457068]eastcoastliberal[/re]: All I can figure is that politics is such a shitty job, an enormous void exists that sucks in every flavor of crackpot.

    The only hope we have is if Ted Kennedy gets really pissed off, pops out of his casket, splits open the earth and says “enough of this bullshit, I’m back bitches!”

  35. FMA

    [re=457068]eastcoastliberal[/re]: A large portion of the population has been subsisting on a diet of lead paint chips since about 1980.

  36. Doglessliberal

    This lying piece of shit needs to be forced to watch “Flight 93″ and then flogged on live TV.

  37. Extemporanus

    [re=457098]Another DC Lawyer (Again)[/re]: He was the only guy with prior experience storming a cock pit.

  38. Click

    [re=457116]Extemporanus[/re]: I was going to correct him, but figured you could say it better.
    I was right.

  39. Georgia Burning

    [re=457070]chascates[/re]: explains a lot, especially the ignorance about 9/11. Don’t think he’d get many votes in Pueblo.

  40. snideinplainsight

    “Make no mistake. The United States will hunt down and punish those responsible for these cowardly acts”

    It’s a comment people use all the time any more. ‘Let’s get those bad guys. Let’s apprehend the responsible parties.’ ” Schultheis said. “I can see it now. But you’re busy doing jillion bazillion things during the day. You sometimes don’t analyze every single word.”

  41. FlownOver

    [re=457059]Aflac Shrugged[/re]: So it’s kind of like “overlord?”

    I ,for one ,welcome our new punctuation-challenged schultheis .

  42. the problem child

    [re=457100]Sara in the West[/re]: Well, you can’t have those Spanish speakers living long enough to breed. This is Real Murka!

  43. Pithaughn

    As a 3d generation CO native I ….
    oww, just hit myself with a baseball bat in shame. At least here on the Western Slope the racists come right out and call him ( The President of the United States ) a dumb nigger thug.

  44. Cicada

    Don’t for a second, think. Thoughts are for sheep. Real Americans(TM) spend every second in a frothy mixture of rage and fear, with occasional breaks to eat a gallon tub of raw cookie dough.

  45. QueenOfTheDamned

    [re=457100]Sara in the West[/re]: That just proves he’s consistent in his “thinking.”. A few 20-vehicle pileups with some decapitated bodies will teach those illegals a lesson about illegally immigrating.

    But I’m seriously. Where the H-E-double hockey sticks do they find these cretins? Do they work their way out of their strait jackets and volunteer, or does somebody recruit them?

  46. DustBowlBlues

    What an idiot. I would chastise Jim soundly if he so blatantly misused a comma.

    Who will teach the children, Sen. Whoever-the-Hell-You-Are?

  47. DustBowlBlues

    [re=457027]Jukesgrrl[/re]: Sweet Jesus, has there ever been a potty-mouthed snark blog with as many grammar nazis on it? (Including me, of course.)

    What are we–a bunch of unemployed Bitterz with Masters Degrees in liberal arts? What? We are? Oh. Well, that explains it.

  48. DustBowlBlues

    [re=457039]hockeymom[/re]: Was this guy born in Oklahoma, or what? That’s sounds cretinous enough to be one of the House Republics.

  49. CycloneArmageddon

    [re=457027]Jukesgrrl[/re]:

    “140 characters and he’s allocating one to a comma he doesn’t need. Way to waste our nation’s precious resources, _cock monkey_!”

    If we’re going to start picking on everyone’s writing…

  50. CapnFatback

    Is it possible that the good senator, being from Colorado, confused Obama with John Denver?

    Too soon?

  51. AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=457159]DustBowlBlues[/re]: To be fair, I technically have a job and never finished my Master’s. COINCIDENCE??!!?!? I think ,not.

  52. betterDeadThanRed

    Ed Kowalski, a director for the New York-based 9/11 Families for a Secure America, said, “Let’s not cheapen what happened on Sept. 11 by making random and/or ill-fated comparisons to current policy”

    No, Republican politicians should just stick with the Holocaust and NAZI analogies. The imagery is so much more effective and it only bothers joos.

  53. revbob

    The President needs to pitch or maybe yaw. Rolling is useless. It just screws the plane into the ground.

  54. Zadig

    [re=457085]slappypaddy[/re]: Oh, don’t give him even that much credit. He knew precisely what he was saying, but it wasn’t a question of whether he actually believed it or not. He simply said the most sensationalist thing he could think of, cynically attempting to evoke 9/11 for cheap political points, whatever those are spent on.

    And when it backfired (i.e. not all Americans are as amoral and awful as he), he tries to play stupid. While the grammar on display clearly marks him out as such, the actual message wasn’t a mistake, and it wasn’t stupidity. It was cynical evil.

  55. Mustang

    [re=457159]DustBowlBlues[/re]: That would be me, except substitute “hilariously underemployed” for “unemployed.”

  56. M Lite

    You should all lay off. This Real American is doing, literally, “jillions of things during the day.” How could he be bothered to proofread or think about a Twitter that…he wrote himself? I’m sure this will get him lots of campaign funds and he’ll soon be sponsored by Sarah Palin in a runoff against some slightly less crazy Commie Nazi Socialist Godless Establishment GOPer.

  57. Mr Blifil

    [re=457022]The Station Manager[/re]: Actually the passengers said “Let’s roll,” whereupon the hijackers realized there was a passenger insurrection and they began extreme maneuvers to cause anybody not buckled in to bounce around like a rag doll. Then they decided they would simply point the nose at the ground and start ululating. Tragically, one of the about-to-die passengers was recorded as saying “If we don’t get into that cockpit we’re all going to die…”

    So this is another case of a Republican needing to be told that the thing he said doesn’t mean what he thinks it means. And I would also submit that his odds of gaining access to the cockpit are just as slim as the 9/11 victims whose tragedy he hopes to appropriate for his own ego. The fucking scumbag. Also.

  58. Min

    “Let’s not cheapen what happened on Sept. 11 by making random and/or ill-fated comparisons to current policy,”

    I see your cheapened 9/11 and raise you a false Holocaust analogy.

  59. Sara in the West

    [re=457243]M Lite[/re]: Actually, according to the Westword , the good Senator (after praying about it) is retiring after his term ends in 2010. He also backed Hoffman in NY-23. Dumb ass squared.

  60. Extemporanus

    [re=457124]Click[/re]: Thanks, but it was your moving of the cart that really helped clear my way.

  61. Atlas Spanked

    I’m starting to think that all Republikkan politicians should be composted, just to get some sort of constructive benefit out of them. But they’d probably make the arugula taste like sewage.

  62. President Beeblebrox

    This trope is getting old. Republican draws obvious parallel between Obama and {insert horrific event here}, Republican is called on his/her ridiculous statement, Republican denies that s/he meant to draw parallel between Obama and {insert horrific event here} & that the statement had many innocuous meanings.

    Don’t for a second ,think that nothing get’s by Greta.

  63. LowerdPeninsula

    I’m mad, because I want to be shocked by this, but, alas, this has become run-of-the-mill, textbook Republican practice. Lather, rinse, repeat, an’ all ‘at.

    This is the Republican litmus test, guys. That is, if you can sit down, type something god-awful like this unironically and beliving yourself to be clever, and then have the gall to post it to the internet whilst smirking to oneself like a prideful child, then, congratulations; you’re a Republican. The modern Republican Party is proof positive that the god they worship and murder for does not exist.

    I give this joke two pies in the face, and one in a field in Pennsylvania out of ten.

  64. LowerdPeninsula

    BTW, Mountain West Christianity, particularly the kind practiced in the hell-hole of Colorado Springs, is like Southern Christianity but with even more guns, and militas, also.

    Colorado Springs is the Tora Bora of the Mountain West. I say fuck sending more troops into Afghanistan, and deploy them to retake the United States Air Force Academy in CS.

  65. artpepper

    Shouldn’t Republicans worry that they’ve running out of Evil Villain comparisons for the POTUS?

    Don’t for a second ,think Obama wants what is best for U.S. He is eating our liver with fava beans and a nice chianti.

  66. Bruno

    But it is the same plane that N0bamas dog disrespected by not wearing a suit and tie, and soiling it. Should the world ever come to an end and Snowbilly gains enough stature to be in AF1, I hope she sits on the soiled seat.

  67. Trace

    So wait, what is this? Is “Let’s roll” somehow related to 9/11? It’s an innocent phrase I say all the time while referencing airplane hijackings. I don’t know what you guys are talking about. I’ve read every comment here and I still don’t understand. Did someone say that on 9/11? Does it mean something? I don’t understand. I don’t think we should jump to conclusions or “bum rush the cockpit,” so to speak. I just can’t get over this. And how dare any of you expect a Republican to be familiar with the intricacies of a tragedy like 9/11, something too horrible and sacred for them to even consider for very long without weeping? You make me sick and also are terrorists and maybe rapists.

  68. Unlearned Hand

    His Wikipedia article lists him as “Christian.” Did Jesus hate black people and babies too? Because if he did, we really need to reconsider spending so much on his birthday.

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