We did not realize that Christmas time is in T-minus right now seconds! But it’s true: Last night your Wonkette saw the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree on a flatbed truck headed south on Amsterdam Avenue. How much more seasonal and magical would the tree have been decked out in kitschy, moose silhouette-covered misanthropy-inducing schlock? So much better! Like birth of Christ better. Take note tree decorators, for here are some suggested ornaments we found hidden in the dark recesses of the Internet.
This one’s one of those “unique” snowflakes that people who are interested in snowflakes are always going on about.
Sarah Palin and a moose, hanging out together in a wreath as the world appears to be burning behind them. Points for accuracy.
The angle of the wound without a doubt proves Oswald could not have acted alone.
Ugh, and here’s a “clever contrarian one,” handcrafted by Atlantic interns, for college credit.
Were you able to find others? Or, more likely, have you made your own? Send photo evidence to firstname.lastname@example.org