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We did not realize that Christmas time is in T-minus right now seconds! But it’s true: Last night your Wonkette saw the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree on a flatbed truck headed south on Amsterdam Avenue. How much more seasonal and magical would the tree have been decked out in kitschy, moose silhouette-covered misanthropy-inducing schlock? So much better! Like birth of Christ better. Take note tree decorators, for here are some suggested ornaments we found hidden in the dark recesses of the Internet.

This one’s one of those “unique” snowflakes that people who are interested in snowflakes are always going on about.

Sarah Palin and a moose, hanging out together in a wreath as the world appears to be burning behind them. Points for accuracy.

The angle of the wound without a doubt proves Oswald could not have acted alone.

Ugh, and here’s a “clever contrarian one,” handcrafted by Atlantic interns, for college credit.

Were you able to find others? Or, more likely, have you made your own? Send photo evidence to tips@wonkette.com

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75 COMMENTS

  1. Dear Aunt Pearl in Dubuque:
    I hope you enjoy the Sarah Palin moosefucker hellscape ornament. This should be ample recompense for cutting me out of your will after I told you I was gay. Merry fucking Christmas, you demented old bat.

  2. It seems odd that the people who would complain the most about the “war on christmas” and “christmas holiday trees” would be the very same ones to choose the sarah and moose ornament. You might guess that Sarah has become the new madonna, but may I gently remind you that the evangelicals don’t go for that crap. I know, I know; I’m scratching my head, too.

  3. The Sarah & Leering Moose should have a concealed radio ID chip, so that purchasers of this item can be tracked and shot and trucked to the Soylent Green factory.

  4. Sarah was going to decorate the Palin christmas tree with garlands of popcorn, but she couldn’t figure out how to get the needle through those damn kernels.

  5. [re=456860]shadowMark[/re]: I didn’t know Sarah liked furries! Sarah, come on over to my house! I’ll show you my room (in the basement).

  6. Yoo’all not be a laughin’ so hard when the Palinistas produce a long form birth certificate proving Sarah is really the mother of the christ child, Trigger. Andrew Sullivan will just croak.

  7. Instead of wallowing in consumerism this Christmas please consider a donation to The Alaska Fund Trust, the official legal fund created to defend the integrity of the Alaska Governor’s Office.

  8. There has to be a way I can cross the St. Sarah Christmas kitsch with Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo. Hhmmmm. I’ll be in the bathroom if anyone needs me.

  9. [re=456861]finallyhappy[/re]: “I am one of those Jews who has never had nor ever wanted a Christmas tree. However, this has changed my mind. I want an all Sarah tree.”

    So you can burn it all at once?

  10. Paging Lauri Apple, Paging Lauri Apple…..

    I think Wonkette should give out Sarah Palin Xmas ornaments as prizes–all year long–instead of “iPhones”.

  11. [re=456865]SayItWithWookies[/re]: She also wants to know who all these Harold Angel guys are and why they don’t mention Trig’s name in that damn song, not even once.

  12. Is there a holiday ornament that represents “going rogue,” which is British slang for unprotected anal sex?

    If so, we dare someone to hang this one on the tree at the local mall. Be careful, though, of the security cameras at the malls, which are everywhere.

  13. And not to forget the “Sarah Palin Holiday Cookbook”.

    The first step on every recipe is “Hunt and kill your main course”. (If you’re strapped for time, something you ran over on the road will do in a pinch.)

  14. [re=456862]snideinplainsight[/re]: WIN.

    I just realized what kind of fun I could have creating all-Wonkette-inspired Christmas ornaments. David Vitter in his diapers, Sarah and the Baby Trig, Ashley The Black-Eyed McCain Supporter, Glenn Beck in his Nazi uniform, and dozens of dangling trucktreenuts.

  15. [re=456878]Mr Blifil[/re]: [re=456885]Click[/re]: “Rockefeller Center” is the real name of the US capitol. They just haven’t put up the sign yet, as the Rockefeller family wanted to allow a decent interval before announcing its most recent acquisition.

  16. Hahahahaha, I talked to the lady who made the Sarah Palin moose ornament in Dec. 2008 for work. She also made Joe the Plumber and Joe Biden- remember those guys? She went on to explain that neither Palin nor neither Joe sold much; Her UFO ornaments were more popular. As was Barack Obama- everybody wanted to hang him from their Christmas tree last year. Racists.

  17. [re=456924]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: You could also string lightly salted poisoned rat dicks alternating with cranberries for your garland. Classy and classic!

  18. [re=456895]assistant/atlas[/re]: Personally, I want an original, signed Lauri Apple drawing.

    [re=456924]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: As Beavis might say: Go on wifth yer bad thelf. That’s a tree I want to see.

  19. [re=456878]Mr Blifil[/re]: Not only that, but Amsterdam Avenue is a northbound street. (Unless you’re north of 110th, so maybe Wonkette was giving a special lecture at Columbia University.)

  20. [re=457064]Crank Tango[/re]: I chreideann tĂș go bhfuil ceart. (That’s how we Irish say “yes” after a couple of hefty shots of Tullamore Dew)

  21. [re=457334]Quidam[/re]: Jesus christ, that poor girl looks like she just realized the nice man who offered to give her a ride home is NOT a friend of Mommy and Daddy’s.

  22. Oil’s well that ends well.
    Sarah P, in this important historic moment, we witness the ex VP candidate morph from a maverick, to a dipstick with lipstick, into a Rogue quitter. A new Sarah P doll would require a pull string with our girl quoting Saint Ronnie!
    Sarah now embraces common sense (which is why she quit being Guv???), and declaring Saint Ronnies philosophies rock.
    After all, it was one of Reagan’s pillars for the economy to deregulate banking & financial markets.

    History reminds us just how well that all worked out!
    Maybe she will start telling us that ketchup is a vegetable….. reminiscent of St. Ron’s infinite wisdom.

    Echos of the chanting of ” Drill baby, drill” swirl about in my mind.

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