STILL NOT WATCHING CNN  8:17 pm November 11, 2009

Lou Dobbs Quits CNN!

by Jim Newell

Check it out! Tonight was his last broadcast, as he announced on his last broadcast. God only knows what he is doing, he just keeps mumbling about how he will be charting a New Course, but it’s got to have something to do with Mexicans. (Or rather, “at Mexicans?”) This is the biggest news since Sarah Palin. All we know is that he delivered this news before an American flag, so maybe he’s going there. UPDATE: New York Times, with the predictable scoop! “Months ago the president of CNN/U.S., Jonathan Klein, spelled out two options for Lou Dobbs, the channel’s most outspoken anchor. Mr. Dobbs could vent his opinions on radio and anchor an objective newscast on television, or he could leave CNN altogether.” [YouTube, NYT]

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rafflesinc November 11, 2009 at 8:22 pm

Robert Bork, Sarah Palin, and Lou Dobbs should get together and have a circle jerk, then carpool to collect their unemployment taxes.

*Bork resigned his DC appeals court judgeship after getting DENIED by Ted Kennedy.

mollymcguire November 11, 2009 at 8:22 pm

“Things have changed over the last six months . . .” Could he, perhaps, be speaking about the half-breed muslin, foreign born usurper in chief?


WagTehGod November 11, 2009 at 8:23 pm

Job outsourced to India or given to a Messican illegal?

stanpan November 11, 2009 at 8:24 pm

Hasta la vista, pendejo.

Naked Bunny with a Whip November 11, 2009 at 8:25 pm

It was either quit CNN or meet Biden’s motorcade.

Aflac Shrugged November 11, 2009 at 8:26 pm

Lou Dobbs won’t starve without CNN. I mean, what *wouldn’t* you want to put that face on?

MortSinclair November 11, 2009 at 8:28 pm

I heard he has plans to meet up with Sarah in a Motel 6 somewhere in King of Prussia, PA.

Nigerian Business Executive November 11, 2009 at 8:29 pm

Palin/Dobbs 2012? That would be hilarious!

Hopey dont play that game November 11, 2009 at 8:30 pm

He’s leaving because Ted Turner gave him a “Mexican Halloween” in the green room.

Click November 11, 2009 at 8:32 pm

Funny, I always thought he’d go out in the grand style of Chuckles the Clown.

boy_howdy November 11, 2009 at 8:33 pm

[re=456456]MortSinclair[/re]: Maybe, maybe not. I thought I heard him say he wants to pursue “a number of options and erections.”

defeatism November 11, 2009 at 8:34 pm


WickedWitch November 11, 2009 at 8:35 pm

Ding dong the dick is dead, the wicked dick is dead!

And no, the WickedWitch will NOT be having any wicked dick, thank you… Who knows where that’s been????

UncleTom November 11, 2009 at 8:36 pm

He’ll be on Fox in a week

BigDupa November 11, 2009 at 8:37 pm

Sweet. Now they can bring back Tucker Carlson!

Sleeves November 11, 2009 at 8:37 pm

He might yet wed Casey Wian in Aztlan. Little bit of war broke out down here, over the human traffick…I mean marijuana…gangs.

Fred Wertham Jr. November 11, 2009 at 8:38 pm

What will become of Kitty Pilgrim? Where will she go? What will she do?

Click November 11, 2009 at 8:38 pm

[re=456464]UncleTom[/re]: He’ll never make it past Orly.

Hunger Tallest Palin November 11, 2009 at 8:39 pm

Walking before the release of the infamous Goat Tapes make him run?

wheelie November 11, 2009 at 8:39 pm

CNN President Jonathan Klein has said, “”All of us will miss his appetite for big ideas, the megawatt smile and larger-than-life presence he brought to our newsroom.”

I think this is cable news code for “Good riddance, you colossal asshole.”

x111e7thst November 11, 2009 at 8:42 pm

Good for him. Now he can while away his days consuming his refreshing beverage of choice and blowing little Tommy Tancredo.

iantenna November 11, 2009 at 8:43 pm

that flag is fucking hypnotic. “lou, hit this and take a look behind you. crazy, right?”

SayItWithWookies November 11, 2009 at 8:44 pm

It’s good to see he’s going to bring honest reporting back to the mainstream media. Somebody’s got to spread the alarm about the millions of cases of leprosy that al-Qaida has been sending across the border with agents disguised as six-foot-tall invisible rabbits.

Extemporanus November 11, 2009 at 8:47 pm

In honor of Mr. Dobbsalina, Mr. Lou Dobbsalina, I’ve coyote’d a bunch of illegals over this thread’s southern border:

Bitter Quitter in One-Hitter Shitter!

PC Gobs Rob Dobbs of Job!

Doobie Birther Takin’ It to the Streets!

CNN To Get Leaner By Weaning Anti-Beaner Preener!

Resigned SOB Lou Dobbs Eschews Maligned CNN News Job Due to Klein’s FOB Jew Mobs!

freppish November 11, 2009 at 8:49 pm

He should go to Fox, they should build a 24/7 crazy news network O’Reilly, Beck, Dobbs, Hanity, maybe get Michael Savage

Johnny Zhivago November 11, 2009 at 8:49 pm

I hate to say it but Michelle Bachmann is the new Sarah Palin.

stolichnayaaa November 11, 2009 at 8:49 pm

[re=456476]Extemporanus[/re]: Does this mean he’ll finally have time to write that Law Blog?

Barrelhse November 11, 2009 at 8:50 pm

He puts the Lou in loser.

AxmxZ November 11, 2009 at 8:54 pm

Please please tell me FOX hired him to amplify the crazy.

shadowMark November 11, 2009 at 8:56 pm

How does the Right work this now, which ever news channel throws the most used condoms on Lou’s lawn gets to sign him? Geraldo is on Fox, yeah? With Geraldo pulling for them I think Fox should win the used condoms battle hands down…

Texan Bulldoggette November 11, 2009 at 8:58 pm

Oh good, now CNN just needs to get rid of Nancy Grace & that channel would almost be watchable; I admit I get great comedic entertainment out of Wolf boy so he must stay. I wonder if Jane Velasz Mitchell got tired of Lou asking her to watch his kids??

Texan Bulldoggette November 11, 2009 at 9:00 pm

[re=456482]shadowMark[/re]: Maybe Lou & Geraldo will get in a fight on the air; my money’s on Geraldo. He’s had his nose broken by white supremacists before; he can take pansy boy, racist-light Lou.

yoink November 11, 2009 at 9:02 pm

I see a new career for Dobbs playing villians in Univision telenovelas. Either that or being the janitor at his local Taco Bueno

sleepy November 11, 2009 at 9:03 pm

cnn probably just ran out of orange spray tan.

FlownOver November 11, 2009 at 9:04 pm

[re=456477]freppish[/re]: “SHOULD build?” Where have YOU been?

freppish November 11, 2009 at 9:06 pm

[re=456490]FlownOver[/re]: good point, but not everyone is Beck crazy, Fox and friends could be way nuttier

Rajul November 11, 2009 at 9:08 pm

I wonder if this had anything to do with the Mexican lepers who threw a bullet at his house.

ifthethunderdontgetya" November 11, 2009 at 9:08 pm

[re=456484]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I can’t watch Scudboy.

Even now that he’s aged into old Scudboy.

facehead November 11, 2009 at 9:10 pm

He heard about that one time Peggy saw a Mexican and said “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!”

weejee November 11, 2009 at 9:11 pm

Jebus weeps for his pistola packin’ esposa who will have to put up with him at home 24/7 until Friday when he gets hired by the Drudgester.

Extemporanus November 11, 2009 at 9:12 pm

People! We’re missing the real story here:

Lou Dobbs thinks that President Obama’s ties are too weak, and that he should seek noose ones on his upcoming trip to Asia!

Texan Bulldoggette November 11, 2009 at 9:13 pm

ifthethunderdontgetya: (I think the quote at the end of your name is messing up the ‘Reply’ option to you.

Anyhoo, the Scud Stud was Arthur Kent, a Canadian who worked for NBC–not Wolfie boy (no matter how hard he tries to rewrite history).

FlownOver November 11, 2009 at 9:15 pm

AMF. Just AMF.

rocktonsammy November 11, 2009 at 9:18 pm

Theres no shift open at this time at FOX NEWS for this piece of dog shit stuck to my running shoes.

Fox better not fire Pattie Ann Browne to make room, don’t do it you pricks.

memzilla November 11, 2009 at 9:21 pm


Cue the unemployment scene in Mel Brooks’ “History of the World,” with Bea Arthur as the Roman bureaucrat:

“Did you bulls*** today?”
“Did you try to bulls*** today?”

And on his unemployment form:
Reason for leaving last job: Muslin president.

MGBYG November 11, 2009 at 9:22 pm

Dobbs, with Messican wife, will be just fine.

Don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord Vishnu split ya.

Another 80′s newstainment idiot buts the dust…are we finally seeing the dark days of Ronnie RayGun finally over?

user-of-owls November 11, 2009 at 9:23 pm

[re=456476]Extemporanus[/re]: Oh, you little plagiarizing basterd.

MGBYG November 11, 2009 at 9:24 pm

[re=456497]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Asshats like thunderpants are way too cool for linky html…

shortsshortsshorts November 11, 2009 at 9:24 pm

[re=456462]defeatism[/re]: OH GOD! Are the Mexicans coming here now? Will they take over?
When he says the growth of erections at 1:20, does he mean the male anatomy?

Oldskool November 11, 2009 at 9:26 pm

Best news since Bob Novak stomped off the set. He’s got a persecution complex so he’ll fit right in if he goes to Faux.

bitchincamaro November 11, 2009 at 9:30 pm

Dobbs will be working in my garden, starting tomorrow morning. Yes, you lazy, pasty, dumpling-ass, arrogant, smarmy, racist slugslime: be here by 6 a.m., as we’ve discussed, to begin your long, slow, pointless attempt to re-join the human race by preparing the beds for spring. Never mind that the beds are in the bottom of the East River. Your ass is mine.

*please do not wake me from my dream*

Words November 11, 2009 at 9:31 pm

[re=456497]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: What Is that Canadian scud-boy doing now? Last I heard, he was doing intros and voice-overs for the History Channel?

Click November 11, 2009 at 9:35 pm

[re=456512]Words[/re]: He’s been servicing me for the last decade – other than that, hey, I don’t ask questions…

rocktonsammy November 11, 2009 at 9:36 pm

I know, Fox has a better dental plan.

Good move Lou.ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

stew November 11, 2009 at 9:48 pm

Porn Star Carrie Prejean is on CNN now–is this also part it’s plan to improve its lousy ratings?

rocktonsammy November 11, 2009 at 9:48 pm

Lou is an older, more retarded version of Bleck.

Its the beginnin of the end for Fox, the republicans and conservative as we know it.

Joshua Norton November 11, 2009 at 9:49 pm

He’s cashing in to become a roady for Levi Johnston.

stew November 11, 2009 at 9:51 pm

“Larry, you’re being inappropriate!”

Now the kiddie porn kunt is walking of the stage!!!

stew November 11, 2009 at 9:52 pm

Wow, better grap this video Wonk…weird stuff.

ZiPPerHEaD November 11, 2009 at 9:54 pm

YAWN! You woke me up for this? I was just having a dream of Nancy Reagan going down on Chicken Little…or was I just watching one of Lou’s usual broadcasts?

drpangloss November 11, 2009 at 9:56 pm

Thar she blows! The White Whale!

I’m guessing mediamatters used an antiship missle instead of the ole harpoon to take Louie the Whale to Davey Jones locker.

Allyson November 11, 2009 at 9:58 pm

Texan Bulldoggette’s notes that “Maybe Lou & Geraldo will get in a fight on the air; my money’s on Geraldo.”
1. I would pay to see that.
2. My money’s also on Geraldo.
3. Now, if CNN would put Christiane in Lou’s place, it would actually be a news network…

Robophobia November 11, 2009 at 9:59 pm

OT, but I just saw Scozzafava on Rachel Maddow’s show. I can see why they went after her so vehemently. She actually sounded…..reasonable.
Hoffman was a shit breath. Hahahaha, He lost…and Lou Dobbs Got Hot Over Pot Spot and Pot Shot

Terry November 11, 2009 at 10:03 pm

Fox better pick him up or maybe talk radio. Otherwise, Lou will spend his days ranting to people in line at the drug store or the post office.

El Pinche November 11, 2009 at 10:10 pm

Doesn’t contribute “to the national conversation” mean posin’ fer Playboy. Ew! Who wants to see old man balls?

Robophobia November 11, 2009 at 10:13 pm

[re=456529]Terry[/re]: Yup, funny story: I was in CVS one time and some old guy started yelling at these two Asian pharmacists, “I said, ‘Chapsticks’, not ‘chopsticks’”.

betterDeadThanRed November 11, 2009 at 10:14 pm

I think that Jonathan Klein was just afraid Obama would send 40,000 troops to invade CNN like he did to Fox.

Dolmance November 11, 2009 at 10:15 pm

Gee, I wonder, wonder, wonder where that depraved pig is going to appear next?

melvin November 11, 2009 at 10:16 pm

Give Cafferty the time slot. He’s the only thing watching on the entire channel.

Sharkey November 11, 2009 at 10:19 pm

Awwww, thanks Uncle Lou! Such a heartfelt goodbye. Sniff.

There’s a few more dicks left in this bag I was eating, you want some?

They’re really tasty, just grab a handful. Don’t forget, tomorrow’s a new day. Tastes good, doesn’t it?

Uh oh, what’s that… there’s blood coming out of… OK seriously I didn’t know there were any thumbtacks in there… no, Officer, we were just having a conversation…

betterDeadThanRed November 11, 2009 at 10:19 pm

He should have signed off “Good night and good luck.” Goodness knows with folks like Lou around we’ll need it.

El Pinche November 11, 2009 at 10:20 pm

All you ivy league “liberales” aren’t happy until there isn’t one racist left on TV. Then it will be one single echo chamber free of hate and bigotry. Tonight the mescans took a shit on our GOD GIVEN first Amendment rights.

Extemporanus November 11, 2009 at 10:24 pm

[re=456459]Hopey dont play that game[/re]: “Mexican Halloween” was the first single off of Piñata del Blanco by La Policía de Fronteras, right?

[re=456468]Fred Wertham Jr.[/re]: Kitty Pilgrim will no doubt progress from this world to that which is to come.

[re=456470]Hunger Tallest Palin[/re]: Are those the tapes on which Lou Dobbs chupas an underage cabra?

[re=456471]wheelie[/re]: “Megatwatt Smile” is my new band name.

[re=456481]AxmxZ[/re]: Exactly. What they do is, if they need that extra push over the cliff, you know what they do? Put it up to eleven.

[re=456503]user-of-owls[/re]: Hey, lo siento if any undocumented illegals ruffled your feathers, usuario-de-los búhos, but that’s just cómo funcionan las cosas in the smug trafficking business.

By mentioning the previous thread, I assumed that anyone interested in tracking down where they came from could easily do so. And, mi amigo, until you’ve worked-off your “relocation” expenses—which include the cost of two inner tubes, you talon-happy raptor rapist, you—I’d suggest that you swivel those omnidirectional eyeballs aft-ward, and keep the hootin’ & hollerin’ to a minimum.

Jim89048 November 11, 2009 at 10:30 pm

I heard Peggington of Nooninghamshire is looking for a new pool boy…

Larry McAwful November 11, 2009 at 10:30 pm

Wha–? He didn’t say when he was starting his contract with FoxNews. Lou Dobbs could be Fox’s most effective weapon in their war against Hispanics. And Univision.

S.Luggo November 11, 2009 at 10:43 pm

Poor old Lou. So behind the times.

The sexy sexy news is no longer about illegal dagos using their finned manos to swim across our river borders, then creating taco stands and stealing our white wimmiz and the Welfare checks. And owning guns. And putting the hate on Americans and Presbyterians.

No. As Hannity points out, it‘s about homegrown Islamos, creating falafel stands and stealing our white wimmiz and the Welfare checks. And owning guns. And putting the hate on Americans and Presbyterians.

chascates November 11, 2009 at 10:44 pm

I see a Lou Dobbs & Pat Buchanan tag team, like Evans & Novak. Each week the two will take some supposedly outrageous example of political correctness or affirmative action and lament the loss of EuroChristian white hegemony. Dobbs will probably sell DVDs & books of his rants along with Buchanan’s Nazi apologist BS.

mumblyjoe November 11, 2009 at 10:48 pm

You do realize that there is LITERALLY only one manner in which this day may be properly commemorated, yes?

momus November 11, 2009 at 10:50 pm

What happened to his orange hair? (hare?)? Is he trying to appear more statesman-like?

chascates November 11, 2009 at 10:52 pm

[re=456545]mumblyjoe[/re]: Gracias! Esta muy bien!

Scooter November 11, 2009 at 10:55 pm

No Mr. Dobbs, that sound you hear is NOT the universe chanting “Lou, Lou”.

Robophobia November 11, 2009 at 11:02 pm

[re=456545]mumblyjoe[/re]: GOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL!
Traductor Pronto!!! Creo que usted ha ganado un iPhone!
Lou Dobbs, vaya con dios, payaso.

S.Luggo November 11, 2009 at 11:03 pm

Lou is moving to the Nature Channel.

In a gesture of defiance, Dobbs will toss his used condoms onto Nancy Grace’s front lawn. She will add them to her collection.

Click November 11, 2009 at 11:05 pm

[re=456545]mumblyjoe[/re]: Bravissimo!!!!

El Pinche November 11, 2009 at 11:06 pm

[re=456545]mumblyjoe[/re]: truck nuts !!!

BMK November 11, 2009 at 11:08 pm

Today we are all gay for CNN.

chascates November 11, 2009 at 11:08 pm

[re=456506]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Maybe the illegalz can keep your web site up! I realize you live on a boat so your server must have been carried off by a pelican or something.

Scooter November 11, 2009 at 11:10 pm

[re=456545]mumblyjoe[/re]: Magnifico!!

BMK November 11, 2009 at 11:14 pm

[re=456545]mumblyjoe[/re]: I kiss you.

DoctorCulturae November 11, 2009 at 11:18 pm

“Empirical reasoning” is what gets you into deep doodoo Lou. Critical reasoning is what you need to acquire please.

S.Luggo November 11, 2009 at 11:21 pm

[re=456560]BMK[/re]: Mitch McConnell?

Suds McKenzie November 11, 2009 at 11:25 pm

[re=456545]mumblyjoe[/re]: If you had a border, I would run too it.

ivenson November 11, 2009 at 11:45 pm

[re=456534]melvin[/re]: Yup, he seems a genuine curmudgeon. Everytime he has a segment, I expect it to end with him saying “get that fucking camera off me and pour me a goddamn scotch and water, Sally Boy!”

Guppy06 November 11, 2009 at 11:48 pm

I predict his next job will be for the Moonie Times.

S.Luggo November 11, 2009 at 11:49 pm
ivenson November 11, 2009 at 11:55 pm

Dear Lou,
You are the best pudgy, orange, man sized baby a fan could ever hope for.

Your deranged, and possibly manufactured, rage at our beige neighbors to the South has been a delight to watch…purely for entertainment purposes, you understand.

However…dude…have I got this twisted or do you think that people will maybe vote for you in, like, elections and stuff? YOU ARE SO HIGH RIGHT NOW. Man, I promise you…you know I’m your friend and I only want the best for you and all. YOU GOT TO SLEEP ON THIS MAN. YOU ARE SO HIGH RIGHT NOW. When you wake up, this whole day will seem like a fever dream. Granted, you will still have severed your relationship with CNN (jesus must they be happy!)…but you should just take the morning and treat YOU real nice. Go to starbucks and get one of those breakfast wrap thingies. Maybe a latte…fuck your trainer. Fire his homo ass and have a g-d d–n latte, G.

Now, you need to reconsider this “national conversaton” bullshit.

You’re just high right now, dude. Simmer.

All is copacetic.

Mr Blifil November 12, 2009 at 12:05 am

Lou owns a considerable portion of CNN, he’s been a top executive since before he decided long ago to give himself his own show. So he’ll be fine, in case you were worried.

ivenson November 12, 2009 at 12:10 am

[re=456573]Mr Blifil[/re]: Wasn’t, but OK. I was hoping he had thrown caution to the wind and was going to survive by maxing out his credit cards and bilking donations from stupid, scared white people. But if you say he’s got a good thing going, finance-wise, that’s super. Good on ya, Man-baby.

zhubajie November 12, 2009 at 12:14 am

[re=456487]yoink[/re]: Pro Wrestling!

Bearheim November 12, 2009 at 12:17 am

Dios mio!
Dear Baby Jeebus…please give his slot to plus-size CNN messican Ed Lavendera.

zhubajie November 12, 2009 at 12:19 am

[re=456574]ivenson[/re]: The real home for that is Short Wave Radio. Will Lou be hawking over-priced gold coins, colloidal silver and ionized water now?

Robophobia November 12, 2009 at 12:36 am

Y’all, what’s with the timing here, remember yesterday when he was all street about the 411 on the sweet chronic? Ya think, maybe, the old fuck is growin’ and choppin’ on his 300 acres? Maybe those messicuns were gunnin’ for turf? Maybe Ol’ Lou likes the Sativa Goo. Maybe he’s just nervioso about protektin his harvest. Ain’t no weirder than Palin running for POTUS.

shortsshortsshorts November 12, 2009 at 12:47 am

[re=456558]chascates[/re]: It’s FANCIER now. That was the issue. Transition to FANCY.

LowerdPeninsula November 12, 2009 at 12:53 am

What?! Fat Bastard / Head-of-Chucky quit his racist screed masquerading as a cable news show?

Well, bitch is going straight to Fox News, praise Allah.

shortsshortsshorts November 12, 2009 at 12:59 am

Nobody comes with the obvious?

Bye shithead. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. UNLESS HE IS SPEAKING IRONICALLY AGAINST THE MESSICANS, in which case he should let the door hit him in the ass on the way out.

Thanks for the fun times, shitfuck!
R.I.P. Lou Dobbs— portions of the 1990s, with limited but ecclesiastical fame in the semi-late 2000s. Your fellow illegalz will miss you for the last time.

BMK November 12, 2009 at 1:26 am

[re=456562]S.Luggo[/re]: Possible, if were on death row and my life depended on it. Now excuse me while I go vomit.

Lionel Hutz Esq. November 12, 2009 at 1:29 am

Today, we are all Mexicans.

Plus “…the lack of true representation …” ? I mean, how many black muslins can we elect? Oh, you mean of rich old white dudes. Yep, they really do lack for representation.

sanantonerose November 12, 2009 at 2:16 am

UNIVISION has an opening.

chascates November 12, 2009 at 2:37 am

[re=456579]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: My God! It’s like an EXPLOSION of webiness!

lulzmonger November 12, 2009 at 3:30 am

FOX NEWS my eye.

He’s going to change his first name to Bob & announce that he is in fact the One True Messiah of the SubGenius tribe, then camp out in the Mojave Desert with them to await the impending arrival of the Venusian Pleasure-Ships … yeah, okay, I got nada.

Today America’s average collective IQ went up by 3 points. If this keeps up, it’s going to soar right up into the three-digit range any decade now!

LowerdPeninsula November 12, 2009 at 3:30 am

Alas, who will implore us REAL American Pro Americans to “Remember the Alamo!”, nao? Surely, this is the end of Western Civilization as we know it. If they can oust Lou Dobbs, who amongst the white Christo-fascist males is safe? Won’t someone think of the Christo-fascists white men; won’t anyone think of the Christo-fascists white men? I simply don’t know what to believe, anymore.

Quickly, get the underwater electric fences, ready. The Messicans have breeched the mighty Hudson and Potomac!

Jukesgrrl November 12, 2009 at 6:03 am

Billy Mays is dead. Bet he could get that job. Orange Glo!

digibal235 November 12, 2009 at 7:16 am

They should give his timeslot to Fareed Zakaria. That would drive Lou nuts. Because they’re all Mexican to Lou.

hoosiermama November 12, 2009 at 7:42 am

I just find it interesting that the wingtards are being marginalized to two mediums — FOX and AM radio where, ostensibly, Dobbs will be able to blather endlessly about Bammers’ citizenship and no one will care? I don’t have a point.

hoosiermama November 12, 2009 at 7:45 am

And I will take my response off the air, also.

LowerdPeninsula November 12, 2009 at 7:49 am

Does anyone here do a passable Mexican Hat Dance? I can think of nothing more appropriate than to have someone dance a traditional Mexican dance on his show’s grave, O Que?

itgetter November 12, 2009 at 7:55 am

The ad-bar on my left makes it apparent that Woody Harrelson is FLABBERGASTED by this news.

friendlyskies November 12, 2009 at 7:55 am

LOL poor little Palin, she failed to master public speaking and now Wall Street and the military-industrial complex have found a charismatic new frontman for their continued rape and pillage of the taxpayers.

Thus begins the longest, most irritating, presidential campaign in US history.

x111e7thst November 12, 2009 at 7:56 am

Maybe Lou will find time to stake out a position in the Colon Cleanse controversy. This issue crys out for his leadership.

ph7 November 12, 2009 at 8:05 am


Gumboz1953 November 12, 2009 at 8:28 am

[re=456577]zhubajie[/re]: Yeah, if you think Fox News is out there, you should hear THOSE loons. It would be funny if they weren’t broadcasting that shortwave shit literally around the world.

Fortunately, it doesn’t escape the atmosphere, so we don’t look like total assholes to the rest of the Galactic Federation. But still.

DangerousLiberal November 12, 2009 at 8:43 am

[re=456477]freppish[/re]: I’m thinking that, with O’Reilly, Hannity, Dobbs, Dr Whora, and Glen Becccchhh, there should be a whole separate radio band; we’d then have AM, FM, and AH, for Ass Hat nonmodulation. Stations could run up to 100k watts, but can only set up in states where political officials have explained away bathroom liaisons, hooked up with boys, drunkenly driven boats onto rocks, or freaked out over muslin infiltrators, also.

jodyleek November 12, 2009 at 8:46 am

But, what are they going to do with the cheesecloth that they’ve been using to fuzz the focus on Lou all these years? Make Queso Fresco?

red sky November 12, 2009 at 8:51 am

[re=456606]digibal235[/re]: Absolutely, I think Fareed Zakaria should have got the Meet the Press Job (different station, but I’m sure they could have got him) instead of the Entertainment Tonight fill in they put behind the desk. What a great smack in the face that would be to Lou, putting Fareed in his spot, and yes most of ‘Merica probably thinks he’s messican, or arab, and they’re both wrong.

rxaver November 12, 2009 at 9:13 am

BREAKING: U.S. Deports Lou Dobbs
CNN Host Had Been Living Illegally In Country Since 1961

KilgoreTrout_XL November 12, 2009 at 9:38 am

A source tells me that installing a howitzer on the 2nd floor of his house to blow away the brownish people shooting at his mansion would nave violated his contract with CNN.

Flanders November 12, 2009 at 10:36 am

[re=456476]Extemporanus[/re]: Sweet Del tha Funkee Homosapien shoutout!

norbizness November 12, 2009 at 10:41 am

If only we could build a 12-foot wall around that continent-sized noggin of his.

Flanders November 12, 2009 at 10:43 am

[re=456571]ivenson[/re]: Sounds like you’ve given similar advice before. You would be good to have around next time I eat a handful of mushrooms gently plucked from the cowpies in the field outside my bedroom window.

DustBowlBlues November 12, 2009 at 10:53 am

Well, damn. Now how am I supposed find out if the Borders are still Broken?

lawrenceofthedesert November 12, 2009 at 11:16 am

Definitely hitting Consuelo’s for tortilla soup today in honor of Dippety Dobbs’ demise. Vaya con Dios, Rey de Cacahuelo!

Mr Blifil November 12, 2009 at 12:01 pm

He needed to spend more time with his Chuca…

TGY November 12, 2009 at 12:13 pm

…a farewell bag of dicks for Dobbs.

teebob2000 November 12, 2009 at 1:34 pm

[re=456628]rxaver[/re]: Fucking brilliant.

a_pink_poodle November 12, 2009 at 1:35 pm

But Obama isn’t Mexican!

… or IS HE?!

thesheriffisnear November 12, 2009 at 2:56 pm

Undoubtedly he wants to, uh, spend more time with la familia. His family, NOT the notorious drug gang.

Magnus Maximus November 12, 2009 at 5:25 pm

Remember when Lou was on Democracy Now? God that was awesome. He was such a dick. At one point, he interrupted Juan Gonzalez with a sneering, “Just WHAT are you blathering about??”

If you haven’t heard it, do yourself a favor and find it, on the internet. So awesome.

WeHaveNun November 12, 2009 at 5:49 pm

Lou will sneak across the border and retire to a little 6,000 square foot hacienda in Guadalajara. He’ll pay the rent by taking jobs from hard working messicans—things like scrubbing bathrooms, picking the rotting fruit that will be sent to ‘merican grocery stores, and sucking the dicks of local pool boys.

Just wanted you all to know.

Sleeves November 12, 2009 at 6:00 pm

[re=456545]mumblyjoe[/re]: Whatever [the translator] touches, it reveals. My handle. All.

DavidBenAriel November 12, 2009 at 10:40 pm

God bless Lou Dobbs for having the courage to condemn those who aid and abet illegal aliens and that fraud and foreigner, the president usurper who has failed to prove he is a natural born citizen and it’s impossible since he is clearly not born to two American parents, as our Constitution requires.

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