WashTimes, Just Call It A Day

It sure would be funny if the Washington Times   went out of business, except for the poor local reporters and stuff, and Liz Glover, who would be sent to live with Barbara Bush and the Reverend Moon in Paraguay. (The food is shit, a "top-level Pentagon official" tells us.) We assume that theTimesIS going out of business, even though that's not even a rumor... until now? Tell everyone you know!

Mike Calderone summarizes the war and death erupting in that gloomy monstrosity on New York Ave. NE, right outside of which are FREAKING HIGHWAY SPEED CAMERAS that lie constantly about everything:

There's still a lot of confusion in the Washington Times newsroom, two days after the removal of three top business-side executives and high-ranking members of the Unification Church.

Executive Editor John Solomon hasn't been in the office for several days, and it's unclear whether he'll return. When acting Publisher and President Jonathan Slevin addressed staff Monday, he didn't mention the paper's top editor or take questions. (Solomon hasn't returned numerous calls and e-mails since Sunday night.)

But things are getting stranger. Talking Points Memo reported yesterday that there have been armed guards spotted on the third floor, where management works. The floor, it was reported, has now been closed to the rank-and-file.

What does this even mean? 

And this morning, Managing Editor David Jones informed staff that they have to contact him if they need special access to enter the paper's parking lot, which was abruptly closed this week.

 Among those losing their parking spaces was John Solomon himself, who remains locked in his secret masturbatorium, questioning things.

 Security amped up at WashTimes [Michael Calderone]

 Solomon loses parking space at Washington Times [Washington City Paper]