North And South Korea’s Two-Minute-Long Korea-Only Sea Battle
by Juli Weiner
- Koreas North and South had their first actual battle in seven years. It lasted two minutes, which is understandable given it had been seven years. [New York Times]
- Nidal Hasan gave some PowerPoint presentation a year and a half ago about how Muslims in the US Army should not be fighting Muslims in other armies. At the time everyone thought this was weird. [Washington Post]
- Hasan also became pen pals with a Yemeni-based al Qaeda sympathizer, and this too people knew about a year ago but did not think was that weird because there was no indication within their correspondence that he was going to eventually murder anyone. [Reuters]
- The DC sniper will be executed today in Virginia. His lawyers say he is mentally ill and should just be given life in prison though. [WSJ]
- At the last minute, Hurricane Ida decided to go as Tropical Storm Ida during its visit to the Gulf Coast states. [AP]
- Google is installing free wireless in 47 American airports. They’re calling this a “holiday gift.” Orwell had a different word for it. [CNN]
Kirsten Boyd Johnson (802)
Jim Newell (5435)
Liz Colville (97)
Ken Layne (6696)
Wonkette Jr. (628)
Kaia Mursi (45)
Blair Burke (171)
Garrett Quinn (13)
Matt Langer (40)
Arielle Fleisher (385)
{ 32 comments }
Yeah, that sea firefight was caused by that damn NK seven year trigger itch. It’s only actual physical symptom is a crazy ass bouffant hairdo.
If only there had been some sign………………………….
>Koreas North and South had their first actual battle in seven years.
You mean Starcraft doesn’t count?
Major Gaffe on Major Hasan: Army Failed to Connect the Ink Blots
http://satiricalpolitical.com/2009/11/10/major-gaffe-on-major-hasan-army-failed-to-connect-the-ink-blots/
Everyone has a Hasan at work. It’s a hazard of living. It’s nice that my fellow citizens are working diligently to allow free and ample access to guns so we can defend ourselves against the Hasans after they’ve killed us with the guns they got freely and amply.
It’s high time we kicked religious people out of the military! All this “Thou shalt not kill” nonsense is [i]not[/i] good for an organization whose primary purpose is to be ready to, um, kill.
Instead of executing John Muhammad, can’t we just hire him as a death panel enforcer?
[re=454755]4tehlulz[/re]: The DPRKers are unfamiliar with the products of Blizzard, that capitalist oppressor of the people, being without electricity and all, and they were confused when their Southern opponents kept saying “zerg rush kekekekekekek!” over the radio.
Not wanting to kill Muslims is as unamerican as being gay!
Hasan’s inkblot responses:
Blot #1 – “I see a Jew”
Blot #2 – “I see a Jew”
Blot #3 – “I see a Jew”
Blot #4 – “I see a Jew”
Pyschiatrist says: “Hasan, I think you are preoccupied with people of the Jewish faith.”
Hasan says “ME??? I’M PREOCCUPIED? You’re the one with all the pictures of Zionists!!!”
Will there be Korean make-up sex?
[re=454759]Larry McAwful[/re]: Nah, he was OK with the killing, just not killing Muslims, just as the Christian fundies get bent out of shape over killing other Christians but not Mohammedans. About the only people all our soldiers agree are OK to kill are atheists.
[re=454759]Larry McAwful[/re]: I don’t think we can stop at religious people. We must also kick out all mental health professionals. Only then will our troops be safe.
[re=454765]Guppy06[/re]: There’s the irony of it all: only atheists are true patriots. Unless you change the constitution to make us the United States of Americhrist or Amuslimica or what have you.
Amen atheists!
[re=454764]Mild Midwesterner[/re]: Platform shoes flying and Brylcreem splattered everywhere. Yuck.
[re=454766]x111e7thst[/re]: Agreed. Sane people generally don’t kill other people, and if they do, they feel bad about it. If we must have mental health professionals of some kind, we could use doctors who encourage mental illness, to crazify our soldiers into more efficient killing machines.
[re=454766]x111e7thst[/re]: You’re a Scientologist?
[re=454769]Larry McAwful[/re]:
Brilliant!
Let’s clone Michelle Bachmann.
Can you think of a more terrifying army than crazy eyed MBs all babbling complete nonsense while marching toward the doomed enemy?
Shiver.
[re=454759]Larry McAwful[/re]: Larry. Instead of “[” use “<”, that’ll make your italics work.
[re=454767]Larry McAwful[/re]: Amen atheists!
This seems….oxymoronic in some fashion I can’t put my finger on….
[re=454765]Guppy06[/re]: Can we all agree at least to kill the Buddhists? or the Amish – they’re passive enough to kick around.
I prefer to pants Amish. They blush so cute.
Somebody tell Pat Robertson that the Joe Cao vote caused Hurricane Ida to fall apart.
[re=454776]binarian[/re]: Thank God for atheists!!1!!
I for one welcome our new Google airport Internet overlords. I can’t stand the T-Mobile, Boingo, etc. $8 for an hour bullshit charges.
Fear not evil nasty anti American Yemeni-based al Qaeda sympathizer website is now offline. But who shut it down?
Hasan must have been a rising star in the medical corps to get a job at Walter Reed. That’s the Mecca–er, Valhalla–of Army quacks. It’s like being on Broadway is for gays. Then he blew it all by embracing Islam. Bad career move.
[re=454881]Aurelio[/re]: Bad career move? It was that evil Iman Anwar Al-Hockey and his evil website that poisoned his mind. The website is thankfully offline. Who says government does not work?
[re=454764]Mild Midwesterner[/re]: It’s kinda like when you were in grade school and you pull the hair of a girl you like, I think. Or maybe just trying to make the rest of the world forget about any of that re-unification bullshit, right now.
They have to kill John Muhammed because, you know, they are pro-life in Virginia.
Places like Virginia and Texas have the RV Bible — the Realist Version, with asterisks after every thing Jesus said.**
**. . . except Muslims. Except murderers. Except terrorists. Except libruls. Only fetuses. Your mileage may vary. Also.
“It lasted two minutes…”
Me love you Jong time.
[re=455112]Extemporanus[/re]: But now penus feel Il.
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