Wonkette
Oh, do watch this a few times. A reporter following Nancy Pelosi on Saturday night completely wrecked himself, and only one of his friends would help! WHAT A SCENE! [Fishbowl DC]
DEATH
WASHINGTON, DC, 07:10 PM, TUE FEBRUARY 9 | Advertise on Wonkette |
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First!
But, more important, thank you for posting this, especially after making me read that Sarah Palin “Website.”
It is a perfect metaphor for the Republican Party
This contest is over, give that men the $10,000 dollars!
was he zipping up after?
Ball-buster!
His friend only helped him because his fall ended up putting him on the wrong side of the velvet rope.
I have to ask: does everyone in DC walk that danged fast? It’s like a power-walking race.
I knew Speaker Nancy was distracting, captivating, even spellbinding. I’m kinda surprised by how tiny she is.
Also, I can empathize with Mr. Reporter Guy. I’ve taken clumsier missteps than that (though never sober).
He whacked his balls, ha ha.
What makes Jim think a bunch of reporters following Speakress Nancy around would be friends with each other? Would Jim help Andrew Sullivan up if the latter ran a brass pole into his scrotum?
Meh. I was hoping for pain rather than a goofy expression. Call me when he’s rolling around on the floor in a quivering fetal lump.
The only reason the other guy helped was ’cause he wasn’t paying attention either and ended up on the wrong side of the velvet rope. But he got the meta-story, so there’s that.
I like how Black James Dean is just stone cold standing there, hands in pockets, head cocked, thinking to himself “Fuckin’ loser…”
Now that’s one smokin’ pole!
And, Dear Editor, I believe the term is to “rack” oneself.
SnarkyMark: I thought Wonkette itself had, by slow attrition, itself become a Sarah Palin website.
OReillysVibrator: The filmic version will star George C. Scott (CGI’ed).
It was a trap!
badmuthagoose: That was actually a little slow, especially for press. They will run you down if you aren’t careful.
Oh, please tell me the guy writes for Politico. Or Fred Hiatt. Which is almost the same thing.
Ow, My Balls!
V572625694: My thought exactly. If anything, one of his colleagues would have been more likely to drive a stake through his heart to make sure that he didn’t come back to compete with him/her later.
As Harry Truman so famously said, “If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.”
Forget it, Jake. It’s Chinatown.
Nigerian Business Executive: meh, indeed. I was hoping for Jake Tapper getting a truly vomit-inducing pounding in the nutsack.
SnarkyMark: First? Go back to myspace or wherever the fuck dumb assholes post dumb shit.
taylormattd: A trap? I thought it was a midget strip club.
Meh; America’s Funniest Videos (and why is that show still on, anyway?) has shown much better ball-smacks over the years.
Gals, I’m here to tell that was not “balls first”. As someone who has gone “balls first” into some dipshit’s fake fireplace logs plenty of times, the fact that he could get to his feet within 10 minutes proves he did not hit that pole balls first.
No way he was injured. Nobody in DC has any balls.
JMP: I believe, sir or madam, that you answered your own question.
rev_matt_y: Maybe he was racing to catch up with President Camacho?…
If this prevents a reporter from breeding, is there really a down side?
Meh –remakes. I’ll take the Hans Moleman original any day.
Advocatus_Diaboli: Maybe “First!” was a “pole position” joke.
Snidely: You old enough to remember this?
“When you’re going down the hall
And your balls hit the wall
That’s a rupture, a rupture!”
I think it’s a set-up. A hoax. Dude clearly looks down and ahead of him before he hits it - as if to be sure he’s properly lined up. And that camera was set up right in front of the velvet ropes. I smell conspiracy.
Sorta. Kinda. Not really.
rev_matt_y: Now available for the iPhone: http://www.owmyballsthegame.com/
Don’t blame me if you get sacked for playing this game at work…
Bearbloke: Your nuts!
Lionel Hutz Esq.: Evolution has assured the survival of reporters by giving them recourse to things like binary fission, budding, vegetative reproduction, spore formation, fragmentation, parthenogenesis, agamogenesis, apomixis and nucellar embryony. That’s why there are so many of them. They don’t have to fuck.
What filmed this? Some kind of robot camera programmed to film whatever passes through that doorway?
OReillysVibrator: But Barney Gumble has the soul of a poet.
http://www.movieweb.com/video/HUvjcAACI7BxyE
OH SHIT SON CHECK YA NUTS!!!!!!11!!
(this is the best comment I’ve ever posted)
Another metaphor thing, dontcha see? Following Pillows Pelosi and her health care wagon train of fascism will lead to male auto pre-abortion, unless we do something! Or maybe Nancy dropped some sonic boom boom on the room.
Pithaughn:
Gals, I’m here to tell that was not “balls first”. As someone who has gone “balls first” into some dipshit’s fake fireplace logs plenty of times, the fact that he could get to his feet within 10 minutes proves he did not hit that pole balls first.
Us gals appreciate your attempt to educate us, and I think I can speak for all of us when I say though we really can’t empathize, per se, with walking “balls first” into anything, we’ve come to understand that it causes excruciating pain, while, at the same time, making great video for the teevee and the YouTube. We are truly a nation of sick twisted fucks.
I, do, though, have to wonder why you did that thing “plenty of times.”
el_chupacabra: yes, I saw that too
Advocatus_Diaboli: You and I both know *perfectly* well that there is more than enough “dumb shit” posted here for me to never again have to go back to myspace. Particular in certain (ahem) comments.
Needs a laugh track.
SnarkyMark: You should totally cross-post that comment on your MySpace page.
While the initial thrust might have been accidental, the zip-up at the end tells me at some point the encounter became consensual.
Extemporanus: Awwwww snap! (That is myspace for, “Touche.”) Different guy, though.
I guess there wasn’t enough time for the other reporters to get his wallet and wrist watch.
[re=454342]No, that MySpace page needs a laugh track.
Slapstick is always funnier when it involves a fat buddy.
badmuthagoose: I blame all those Aaron Sorkin-style Walk-and-Talks.
Katydid: Well, it’s hard to be conscious of the position of one’s balls at all times. It’s possible to forget about the whole “external genitalia, handle with extreme care” thing until after the excruciating pain hits, especially for the clumsy among us.
That was the perfect time for a Clouseau karate chop and he blew it.
So, what you’re saying is they found a reporter with some balls? I don’t believe you.
Oh, somebody PLEEZE identify this hapless FOX ‘news’ reporter.
Soooo, a reporter walks into a bar.
“Ouch!!!”
“FUCK that hurts!”
Yeah, that looks more like a kick-over than a groin-over. I didn’t even see a wince, which is a dead giveaway. Too bad the fatty was blocking the camera.
When this happened, the reporter was looking at Pelosi and thinking, I’d hit it.
Reminds me of the Don Martin sound effects (ala Mad Magazine): PWANG!
If I show Nancy my balls are made of the same brass as that pole, she will ruv me rong time.
He needs to be more repsectful to his balls!
George
George
George of the Jungle
Friend to you and me…
WATCH OUT FOR THAT TREE!
(I couldn’t resist that one…)
Kenneth from 30 Rock, right?
Ok is it:
A) The big lard butt guy guides the little guy into the pole by distracting him with some inane conversation.
B) The little guy and the big lard butt guy are looking at the blond chick. The blond chick seems to be going straight into the pole, then veers at the last second. Any blond chicks care to comment on if she does this by accident, instinct, or calculation?
BTW, I thought Pelosi was looking good for a older woman. I know that sounds like a back handed insult, but I do not mean it that way.
Extemporanus: Are very attractive.
Paul Tardy: I’m with ya… I’ve thought about it. Up against the wall in the Congressional Cloakroom with Madame Speaker.