DOUCHEBAGS  11:40 am November 9, 2009

Sarah Palin: Which Black President Destroyed Our Jesus Coins?

by Jim Newell

No one was allowed to record or write anything about Sarah Palin’s big speech Friday night, but guess what, that didn’t matter. Politico‘s Jonathan Martin “snuck in” and reported blood and heads rolling, everywhere, an actual depiction of Hell. At some point, Sarah Palin started complaining about some mysterious Negro force that might be ruining that form of American currency, the coin.

In addition to the suggestion that government officials would consider hastening the death of the infirm or handicapped, she began her remarks with a puzzling commentary on the design of newly minted dollar coins.

Noting that there had been a lot of “change” of late, Palin recalled a recent conversation with a friend about how the phrase “In God We Trust” had been moved to the edge of the new coins.

“Who calls a shot like that?” she demanded. “Who makes a decision like that?”

She added: “It’s a disturbing trend.”

Apparently George W. Bush called the shot like that, in 2005. We blame Africa anyway!

Palin sees conspiracy in new dollar coins [RawStory]

Related video

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NoWireHangers November 9, 2009 at 11:44 am

“No one puts Jesus in the corner”

germansteel November 9, 2009 at 11:45 am

What about this, Sarah? In my basketball playing days, it was the point guard who “called the shots.” What about that? HENGGGHH? HENGGGH? HENGGGH?

Spike November 9, 2009 at 11:46 am

Also, bitching from the right wing has already moved the phrase back to the face of the coin. So now, in addition to being religiously offensive, its also aesthetically offensive.

Formerly Preferred November 9, 2009 at 11:46 am

[re=453816]NoWireHangers[/re]: Sarah Palin is the one person who could find the corner of a round coin.

TGY November 9, 2009 at 11:49 am

Leave it to the moose woman to find the paranoid handle on the issues of the day. She firmly grasps the wing of the nut, as it were.

JMP November 9, 2009 at 11:49 am

Never mind the coin conspiracy theory, it looks like the snowbilly has been trying to learn how the kids are talking today by taking lessons from Bill & Ted and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:

“Palin had remarks prepared but frequently wandered off-script to make a point, offering audience members a casual “awesome” or “bogus” in discussing otherwise weighty topics,”

Totally rad speech there, dudette!

nbawriter November 9, 2009 at 11:51 am

I thought moving the phrase was just to honor Jeebus for sunrises, since they come from the edge of the planet, which is flat.

wallythepug November 9, 2009 at 11:52 am

I for one will not be satisfied until US coins all sport “CoinNutz.”

BlueStateLibtard November 9, 2009 at 11:52 am

Sarah, always shooting herself in the foot. I’m surprised she has any toes left.

chascates November 9, 2009 at 11:54 am

Sens. Sam Brownback (R-KS) and Robert Byrd (D-WV) sponsored legislation to move the motto back to the front face of the coins.

“It is important that our national motto, ‘In God We Trust,’ is prominently displayed on all of our currency,” Brownback said. “We should not relegate our heritage to the side.”

Slavery had a longer run in America than putting ‘In God We Trust’ on coins so that should be on there as well.

Terry November 9, 2009 at 11:54 am

I’m impressed that Palin did any reading, even if it’s just the back of a coin.

finallyhappy November 9, 2009 at 11:55 am

Is the best you have, Wonkette? How is it news that Palin is a moran? How about something on Mark Sanford or the new hero of the Democratic party, Congressman Cao? I would accept an update on Bo who is a much smarter being than most Republicans and some Democrats that I actually gave money to in the last election.

AnnieGetYourFun November 9, 2009 at 11:55 am

[re=453824]nbawriter[/re]: Nice.

[re=453825]wallythepug[/re]: Nicer. And SUCH an image, too.

bitchincamaro November 9, 2009 at 11:55 am

Our national motto is “In God We Trust”? What happened to “Big Sale on TruckNutz”? Who’s in charge here?

ManchuCandidate November 9, 2009 at 11:57 am

I didn’t realize that Sarah Palin wants to be a Jeebusier Jerry Seinfeld.

Tundra Grifter November 9, 2009 at 11:58 am

‘Politico says they bought three tickets to Palin’s Wisconsin speech and then penned a write-up. Their review was somewhat grim, taking aim at Palin’s frequent use of the words ‘bogus’ and ‘awesome’…”

I’m astonished they couldn’t work in “ludicrous.”

The supplied link is to RawStory who got it from ThinkProgress who got it from Politico? Is this the new daisy chain of news?

WIDTAP November 9, 2009 at 11:58 am

[re=453831]bitchincamaro[/re]: We couldn’t find one guy to blame for the motto. Turns out there were many. Who knew?

O_o November 9, 2009 at 11:59 am

Dear Sarah,

“Shots like that” are called by elected officials. Remember how you were once like that?

Prommie November 9, 2009 at 11:59 am

Whats up with airplane food, also?

PrairiePossum November 9, 2009 at 12:00 pm

Hopey had to make room for our new slogan, “Praises be to Allah”

proudgrampa November 9, 2009 at 12:00 pm

Gosh, Sarah. You’re the gift that keeps giving.

CoinNutz!! (Thanks, Wally!)

JMP November 9, 2009 at 12:00 pm

[re=453827]chascates[/re]: Sad that these throwback Senators, in their lofty position, don’t even know what our country’s national motto is. Hint: it’s on the other side of the coins, and in a foreign language (so no wonder Brownback hates it).

mephistopheles jefferson November 9, 2009 at 12:01 pm

Why the fuck do we have ‘In God We Trust’ on our money? Can anyone explain what the fuck that is supposed to mean? Perhaps it’s a justification of fiat currency?

snideinplainsight November 9, 2009 at 12:05 pm

Please, everybody, just read the internets. Our national motto is officially “E Pluribus Unum” which translates to “Seize the bus”. More loosely it can be interpeted as “Mission Accomplished”

germansteel November 9, 2009 at 12:05 pm

[re=453841]mephistopheles jefferson[/re]:

In god we trust; all others pay cash.

O_o November 9, 2009 at 12:05 pm

I’ll bet you $100 that comment was the brainchild of a long flight and some loose change.

bago November 9, 2009 at 12:05 pm

Jesus belongs on the cross. Even if that means nailing him to it.

Aurelio November 9, 2009 at 12:06 pm

For those who, like myself, were ignorant of this important relocation of our national motto and tribute to theism, it happened on the new George Washingmachine dollar coins. You can see sinister examples of them here.

Jim89048 November 9, 2009 at 12:07 pm


snideinplainsight November 9, 2009 at 12:07 pm

[re=453847]bago[/re]: Don’t forget Florida vanity plates! He belongs there, also!

Gorillionaire November 9, 2009 at 12:08 pm

[re=453829]finallyhappy[/re]: Nice wood paneling you have there in your mom’s basement, finallyhappy.

AnnieGetYourFun November 9, 2009 at 12:10 pm

[re=453846]O_o[/re]: Loose screws, also.

mephistopheles jefferson November 9, 2009 at 12:11 pm

[re=453846]O_o[/re]: Or the kind of night that leaves you with a sore ass and a pocket full of nickles.

snideinplainsight November 9, 2009 at 12:12 pm

Sarah would turn a delicate shade of purple if she got a load of the money they’re using around Washington these days;

PsycGirl November 9, 2009 at 12:13 pm

I particularly liked “It is so bogus that society is sending a message right now and has been for probably the last 40 years that a woman isn’t strong enough or smart enough to be able to pursue an education, a career and her rights and still let her baby live.”

Seriously, WTF?

JMP November 9, 2009 at 12:15 pm

[re=453841]mephistopheles jefferson[/re]: It means that, since we know god’s on our side here, America can just go blundering its way into wars without proper planning, or considering if there’s any reason for the war, and be guaranteed to win it.

Tundra Grifter November 9, 2009 at 12:16 pm

[re=453845]germansteel[/re]: Jesus saves. Moses invests.

mephistopheles jefferson November 9, 2009 at 12:17 pm

Did I just misspell ‘nickels’? Mea culpa.

user-of-owls November 9, 2009 at 12:17 pm

[re=453822]JMP[/re]: At this rate, by 2015 she’ll be pulling her shirt up over the back of her head and shouting “Cornholio!”

PerhapsSo November 9, 2009 at 12:18 pm

[re=453828]Terry[/re]: But she reads all the coins! All of them, every morning! Even if she can’t name any of them.

CycloneArmageddon November 9, 2009 at 12:19 pm

[re=453866]PsycGirl[/re]: If I ever saw a woman who made me think that message was right, it’s Sarah Palin.

you cannot be serious November 9, 2009 at 12:19 pm

[re=453840]JMP[/re]: And why that numbnuts Akin left out the word indivisible from the Pledge of Allegiance. Unum.

Next Great Pwndit November 9, 2009 at 12:19 pm

God is my Shot Caller.

mephistopheles jefferson November 9, 2009 at 12:20 pm

[re=453869]Tundra Grifter[/re]: And the Devil charges everything.

the problem child November 9, 2009 at 12:21 pm

Calling Susan B. Anthony a “foremother” is a bit of a stretch, considering that she was not a breeder.

widget09 November 9, 2009 at 12:22 pm

Sadly, I think the air pressure in Sarah’s head needs adjusted.

Scarab November 9, 2009 at 12:22 pm

She’s just pissed they went with a Grizzly and not a Cougar on the Alaska quarter.

user-of-owls November 9, 2009 at 12:23 pm

[re=453843]snideinplainsight[/re]: Jeje…you said ‘unum.’

chascates November 9, 2009 at 12:32 pm

[re=453862]snideinplainsight[/re]: Looks like Socialism to me. And I don’t see our Creator on that ‘funny money.’

hobospacejunkie November 9, 2009 at 12:32 pm

Sarah is so grumpy when she gets sand in her vagina.

malo-ji November 9, 2009 at 12:34 pm


“Are you trying to seduce me Mrs Palin?”, asked Levi Johnston.

<img src=”” width=”430″ height=”396″

DoctorCulturae November 9, 2009 at 12:35 pm

So much easy comedy. Me brain hurt. Srsly, printing “in God We Trust” on our idol of true worship is one big irony. Brain hurt again.

shadowMark November 9, 2009 at 12:36 pm

Go, Sarah, go. Coins today. Black helicopters tomorrow. And, Sarah, don’t forget, those naughty Jews are fucking with everything!

Next Great Pwndit November 9, 2009 at 12:37 pm

“Who calls a shot like that?”

Shot caller: The person responsible for calling out the final cum shot on a porn shoot. (Urban Dictionary)

comicbookguy November 9, 2009 at 12:40 pm

And Lo, Jesus told the multitudes, “Render unto Ceasar what is Ceasar’s, but make sure you give me props on that coin. If you don’t, you’re a godless communist who pals around with terrorists taking away our freedoms and guns!”

S.Luggo November 9, 2009 at 12:40 pm

Thanks to that Marxist Hispanic Dutchie, Franklin Delanez Roosevelt (hmmm, or should that actually be ‘Rosenfeld?’), “Since 1938, all coins have borne the motto [In God We Trust].” [Wiki]

Anyway, I’d prefer, “Jimmy Crack Corn And I Don’t Care.”

Extemporanus November 9, 2009 at 12:40 pm

[re=453816]NoWireHangers[/re]: Johnny Castle’s ghost digs the way you move.

[re=453874]user-of-owls[/re]: “Coinholio”?

Dashboard_Buddha November 9, 2009 at 12:42 pm

Dear Lord, who moveth the heavens and Earth…if it doth please thee, please let Sarah get the Repuglican nomination come 2012. Amen”

Gorillionaire November 9, 2009 at 12:42 pm

This is the same “Sarah Palin” that maintained a teenager fuck room for her daughter in the house they lived in, no?

rabblerouser42 November 9, 2009 at 12:44 pm

Sarah Palin Charges Obama Removed ‘God’ From Monopoly Money

PeteJayhawk v2.0 November 9, 2009 at 12:46 pm

[re=453840]JMP[/re]: No. Sadly, “In God We Trust” is actually the national motto.

Bowdoin November 9, 2009 at 12:51 pm

[re=453816]NoWireHangers[/re]: He, waitaminute! Ain’t no corners on a coin!

TeddyS November 9, 2009 at 12:52 pm

And BEHOLD, the Sarah, daughter of Esau who was begat by Linus who was begat by Arnold Perlstein, is one crazy and stupid bee-otch. Did she quit halfway through the speech?

Long Form Def Certificate November 9, 2009 at 12:53 pm

There is no truth to the rumor that Palin threw Trig down the Giant Slide while screaming, “Make this end!”

/state fair grounded

Gopherit November 9, 2009 at 12:53 pm

Sigh, Sarah. If Obama changed the coin, it would say As-Salam Alaikum.

gjdodger November 9, 2009 at 12:54 pm

[re=453840]JMP[/re]: E Pluribus Palinum, Unum Dingbattus

the problem child November 9, 2009 at 12:57 pm

[re=453951]Bowdoin[/re]: Well, maybe. There are two continuous corners along the edge, because otherwise coins would not be three dimensional. But, I’m not quite sure how to describe it in mathematical terms.

Bowdoin November 9, 2009 at 12:58 pm

[re=453841]mephistopheles jefferson[/re]: Phonetic for “In God We’d Rust,” like the Mohamedans after the 11th Century and Spain and Portugal after the 14th and the Catholics after the Inquisiton – whenever that ends.

coolcatdaddy November 9, 2009 at 12:59 pm

[re=453957]Gopherit[/re]: If Obama had anything with changing the mottoz on the coinz they would readz “In Hopes we Trusts!”

What Fresh Hell is This? November 9, 2009 at 12:59 pm

We all have free choice to be either awesome or bogus — two sides (and an edge) of the same coin.

octupletsmom November 9, 2009 at 1:01 pm

Next year’s change: Washington sports a ‘fro.

J. Robert Oppenheiner November 9, 2009 at 1:02 pm

Sarah reads any wingnut email given to her, all of them. Also, since the God-less coins came out in 2007, shouldn’t the blame be placed on .. oh, hell, facts disrupt the narrative.

jimmynail November 9, 2009 at 1:20 pm

[re=453825]wallythepug[/re]: Wouldn’t you know it, but the Federated Communist States of Europe already *have* Coinnutz, and also a real live penis, nestled snugly in the upper right hand corner of their little map of Europe. Like a big apocalyptic Junk of Damocles dangling over the sinful, foetus-powered little continent.

comicbookguy November 9, 2009 at 1:22 pm

Obviously this means every Republican who held office in 2007 is far too liberal. Sarah Palin and redstate need to endorse an out of district “conservative” Glenn Beck fan to oppose each and every one in 2010. With rock salt. Also.

NYNYNY November 9, 2009 at 1:26 pm

[re=453866]PsycGirl[/re]: yeah the last 40 years have really been a low point for women’s rights in America. Also, someone should invent the dirigible. Then write Jesus Reloveution on it.

thefrontpage November 9, 2009 at 1:30 pm

All of our coins should have neon-colored skull heads, with snakes slitering through the skull eyes, surrouend by bright red roses, with the words, “In the Dead We Trust” on the front, and “Keep On Truckin’” on the back, with that funny R. Crumb person walking, with the one foot out front–all in crazy weird flowing psychedelic colors!!

That’s what should be on our coins–and our paper bills.

thefrontpage November 9, 2009 at 1:31 pm

“Going rogue” is British slang for unprotected anal sex, don’t forget!

Someone needs to tell this to Palin’s publishing company, and soon!

Darkness November 9, 2009 at 1:33 pm

[re=453838]PrairiePossum[/re]: I.e. Ditto.

[re=453825]wallythepug[/re]: May the CoinNutz bless you with its shiny golden appendages…

President Beeblebrox November 9, 2009 at 1:33 pm

I’ve never seen one of those Commie Nazi godless Preznit coins. At least the Post Office used to hand out the radical lesbian Feminiazi Susan B. Anthony and Sacajawea dollar coins, even though the latter looked and felt like play money, especially after the copper plating rubbed off.

[re=453866]PsycGirl[/re]: That sentence makes me think that the world of “Idiocracy” has arrived 500 years early.

gurukalehuru November 9, 2009 at 1:39 pm

[re=453992]jimmynail[/re]: That’s not a penis – that’s Scandinavia. (thank you for giving me the opportunity to write that line.)

proudgrampa November 9, 2009 at 1:41 pm

[re=453992]jimmynail[/re]: Actually, that looks like a used Trojan Ribbed…

depraved indifference engine November 9, 2009 at 1:42 pm

[re=453964]the problem child[/re]: Right circular cylinder (albeit a short one). If coins were shaped more like Junior Mints, we could do away with the corners completely.

FMA November 9, 2009 at 1:54 pm

[re=454009]President Beeblebrox[/re]: I like money.

JMP November 9, 2009 at 1:57 pm

[re=453992]jimmynail[/re]: Aw, Europe’s penis is much bigger than America’s (Florida). Now I has a sad.

user-of-owls November 9, 2009 at 1:58 pm
SayItWithWookies November 9, 2009 at 2:03 pm

I like having the “In Fake Deity We Trust” thing on the side of the coin. First of all, you can barely see it, and second of all, the angle grinder doesn’t scrape any of the other features off when I’m removing it.

thesheriffisnear November 9, 2009 at 2:04 pm

“It is so bogus that society is sending a message right now and has been for probably the last 40 years that a woman isn’t strong enough or smart enough to be able to pursue an education, a career and her rights and still let her baby live…”

Sarah Palin 2009

“What Jefferson was saying was, Hey! You know, we left this England place ’cause it was bogus; so if we don’t get some cool rules ourselves – pronto – we’ll just be bogus too! Get it…”

Jeff Spicoli 1982

I think that, if you take the time to review the entire texts you might be sitting on top of a plagiarism scandal, or some such thing.

Violenza November 9, 2009 at 2:14 pm

[re=453841]mephistopheles jefferson[/re]: Somebody left out the L? Ron Paul would concur. Or maybe he wouldn’t, isn’t he some more vague form of Jesus Goblin? Still I think gold wins.

Also, Sam Brownback is such a huge piece of shit, but sponsoring that bill is really the straw that broke the camel’s back for me. As a former KS resident, I just wrote him a letter about what a dickbag and fake Christian he is.

inedalo November 9, 2009 at 2:25 pm

the reason US coins need the phrase IN GOD WE TRUST printed on them is because since we went off the gold standard some years back, our currency is only as good as the support it gets from the Deity. they ain’t no more gold behind it, backing its the true value.

Bearbloke November 9, 2009 at 2:29 pm

[re=454037]SayItWithWookies[/re]: If only Iceland would put the phrase “In Óðinn we trust” back on their money, their economy would rebound in two shakes of Sleipnir’s tail…

Accordion-o-rama November 9, 2009 at 2:48 pm

[re=453866]PsycGirl[/re]: It is well known that infanticide is one of those essential stepping stones for women in corporate America.

lawrenceofthedesert November 9, 2009 at 2:48 pm

For a really disturbing trend, Sarah, look in a mirror.

Accordion-o-rama November 9, 2009 at 2:50 pm

Jesus saves presidential commemorative coins.

Shouldn’t you?

Snarkalicious November 9, 2009 at 2:56 pm

[re=453827]chascates[/re]: I would say this amounts to a very tough compromise for Brownback. What he wanted the inscription to say, orgianlly, was “Whites Only”.

Larry McAwful November 9, 2009 at 3:02 pm

This is only the first step. We’ve moved “In God we trust” to the edge, for now. Next we move it to the interior of the coin, stamped between layers of metal, where no one will ever see it, just like God himself.

NotthatLC November 9, 2009 at 3:24 pm

I’m trying to figure out how she decided to even put that into her speech. Did one of her handlers mention it to her for whatever reason, and she was all, “Hey, what IS up with that?” And instead of being a good and professional politician and double-checking, she just went full Sarah with it. If

Another reason to hate her – now she’s making me feel sorry for her dumb ass.

Starrigavan November 9, 2009 at 3:25 pm

Poor Sarah, she gets her mottos all confused! Our license plates up here used to say, “The Last Frontier” until Sarah got all confused and thought Star Trek was a teevee show about a beautiful Alaska lady who likes to hunt and fish. Then she got all worked up over teabagging, both before and after finding out about the whole, “testicles in the mouth” bit.

But who is going to tell her that “Going Rogue” is the lady’s equivalent of “Going Commando?”

Gumboz1953 November 9, 2009 at 3:35 pm

[re=454166]Starrigavan[/re]: Maybe that’s how she means it. Maybe the joke’s on us for thinking she IS wearing underwear.

Dangerous November 9, 2009 at 3:44 pm

Just like the current economic environment, anything that happens now it Obama’s fault (never his triumph), just like anything that happened on Bush’s watch is his to own …

Except, of course: 9/11, torture, gigantic deficits and debt growth, Wall Street malfeasance, Dick Cheney, shrinking economy, Hurricane Katrina, global warming, and so on.

Facts and cause/effect mean nothing to these people. Spin is everything, and winning elections — which is automatically a mandate for their policies — is their only goal.

QueenOfTheDamned November 9, 2009 at 3:57 pm

[re=454160]NotthatLC[/re]: No, no, I’m sure it was carefully planned as part of the speech. Furthermore, I’m sure it’s been the subject of several sermons across the nation. You may recognize it for the total nonsense it is, but the Base lives for that kind of trivial crap. These are the “important issues” that they use for deciding how to vote.

Remember, these are the people who decided governor’s races in two states based on outrage at changing the state flags. In Georgia, they bought lock, stock, and barrel the fantasy that Sonny Perdue was going to “let them vote”. Well, they’ve been waiting eight years. He’s no mental giant, but he’s not dumb enough to preside over bringing back the stars and bars, and make the whole state look like a backwoods, Klan hole. Arguably, it may be one, but he’s not going to make it look that way.

So this is just good politicking(sp?)on somebody’s part. Never misunderestimate the depths of their gullibility. I know; I walk among them.

Bearbloke November 9, 2009 at 4:08 pm

[re=454225]QueenOfTheDamned[/re]: All I know about Georgia is what I’ve learned from Squidbillies… that’s accurate enough, right?

Bearbloke November 9, 2009 at 4:19 pm

[re=454006]thefrontpage[/re]: I’d rather they didn’t, but instead sent Bible-Spice on a big book tour all over the “British”-speaking world… and make sure she’s always wearing a fanny-pack in public…

WesternCorrespondent November 9, 2009 at 4:23 pm

[re=454040]thesheriffisnear[/re]: Palin’s already been caught plagiarizing Newt Gingrich and Ronald Reagan — two of her speeches echoed two of theirs — but do you think the “evil librul media” (which we libruls know isn’t librul at all, it’s run by neocon megacorporate capitalists) paid any attention at all to that? Or to the hundred or so other illegal, immoral or unethical things Sarah Palin has been found to have done during her political career?

QueenOfTheDamned November 9, 2009 at 4:30 pm

[re=454240]Bearbloke[/re]: Not entirely, but Early does remind me of the former mayor of a town I used to visit. Except he wore overalls. To all the events at which he presided.

CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us November 9, 2009 at 4:31 pm

Well thank God Baby Jebus The Black Preznit hasn’t touched our whore diamonds yet!!!!1

CapnFatback November 9, 2009 at 4:36 pm

“Before Sarah goes on, pit your hands together for one excellent warm-up act–the one . . . the only . . . Wyld Stallyns!”

Red Zeppelin November 9, 2009 at 4:58 pm

Have they blamed Obama for the deer that got eaten by lions at the zoo today? If not, it won’t be long.

engulfedinflames November 9, 2009 at 7:48 pm

I thought our national motto was “stick’em up”.

centerguide November 9, 2009 at 7:55 pm

One of those dogs should be pooping

MGBYG November 9, 2009 at 9:30 pm

Shouldn’t that be ‘In G-d We Trust’ so you don’t get some smite when you buy smokes, cognac, and that “manual release” massage with US currency?

glamourdammerung November 9, 2009 at 9:59 pm

In honor of our troops, could Sarah stop making stuff up?

Zorg November 9, 2009 at 10:50 pm

“Awesome?” “Bogus?” Ladies and gentleman of the jury, I give you, the Matanuska Valley Girl!

CanadianBacon November 9, 2009 at 11:54 pm

I think “Going Rogue” refers to the Republican plan for the American people in a British kind of way. Palin/Bachman 2012 with Beck as secretary of defence,Coulter as secretary of state.Not sure what Rush will get.The dream team.

artpepper November 10, 2009 at 12:52 am

No, wait. That’s absurd. Why would Obama care what it says on the coins, when he’s already scheming to adopt the new international currency? Palin should ask Bachmann to explain it to her.

billcostley February 8, 2010 at 9:05 am

“Our coins are our hardest currency.” (qua Palin)

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