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DING DING DING

SUPER-IMPORTANT BREAKING NEWS ALERT DING DING DING: John Boehner just pronounced “hyperbole” as “hyperbowl,” and everyone laughed, the end.


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9:34 PM on Sat November 7 2009
By Jim Newell
3942 Views

  1. That ought to be the name for the NCAA football championship game.

  2. obfuscator says at 9:42 pm, November 7th, 2009

    get your boner hyperbowls, now at kfc.

  3. sfstewart says at 9:45 pm, November 7th, 2009

    The republican bill is brought to you today by the number 0 and the color ORANGE

  4. Come here a minute says at 9:50 pm, November 7th, 2009

    President Nobama doesn’t invite women to his hyperbowl — usurper!

  5. badmuthagoose says at 9:51 pm, November 7th, 2009

    I have to know: did he really? Please say yes. Please please say he did. I’m an English teacher.

  6. Mergatroyd says at 9:53 pm, November 7th, 2009

    Thank God someone else heard that. I was a bit stunned, for some reason. Mr. Permatan really bugs me.

  7. During the recess, Boehner went boweling.

  8. El Pinche says at 9:54 pm, November 7th, 2009

    AS LONG AS HE CAN PRONOUNCE LIBERTY, FREEDOM, TROOPS AND JESUS, IT DOESNT MATTER

  9. Nigerian Business Executive says at 9:57 pm, November 7th, 2009

    badmuthagoose: Yes. And then he talked about hid grandmother Penelope, which he pronounced “penny loap”.

    Actually I don’t really know. I wasn’t watching and I get all my news from Wonkett. But it sure sounds like it could have happened!

  10. Makes me wish someone would write the word synecdoche into one of his speeches. Hickory smoked dipshit.

  11. badmuthagoose says at 9:57 pm, November 7th, 2009

    Oh my God, he really did. Sorry, I get excited over weird things.

  12. obfuscator says at 9:58 pm, November 7th, 2009

    badmuthagoose: yes, he totally did. i am spending my day watching this hot mess on c-span. i laughed and said to myself, “you stupid fucker… oh boner”, then i laughed some more.

  13. In that case, hope he doesn’t mind if we call him Boner.

  14. obfuscator: OHH, BONER…YOU RASCAL!

  15. badmuthagoose says at 10:02 pm, November 7th, 2009

    Nigerian Business Executive: obfuscator: Sounds like I should go back to watching CSPAN. And drinking.

    Thanks! Monday I will tell some 13 year olds that they know more than a Senator/Representative/imp of the Great Malevolence/whatever he is. They’ll probably go “yeah, we knew that.”

  16. progressiveinga says at 10:04 pm, November 7th, 2009

    That is one stoopid orange man.

  17. obfuscator says at 10:04 pm, November 7th, 2009

    headline: “BOHNER’S HYPERBOWL BONER INDUCES HYENA LAUGHS FROM NON-ILLITERATE MEMBERS OF CONGRESS”

  18. iwillsavethispatient says at 10:06 pm, November 7th, 2009

    Not only did he say hyperbowl, but he talking absolute hyperbolics.

  19. Citizen_Sane says at 10:08 pm, November 7th, 2009

    This may be the most entertaining Saturday vote EVAR. Someone just called Virginia Foxx a crazy peach colored wombat.

  20. mollymcguire says at 10:09 pm, November 7th, 2009

    badmuthagoose: Hopefully you will do both in moderation.

  21. I watch this damn thing all day long (best part was around 930 when Tom Price interrupted a bunch of nice ladies like a big meanie) and THIS is the one part I miss?

    Consider this a call to arms - I need video evidence.

  22. iwillsavethispatient: “quote” hyperbowl.

  23. Extemporanus says at 10:29 pm, November 7th, 2009

    Hyperbowls are what all those dirty, fucking happies smoke, right?

  24. KeepHopeyAlive says at 10:35 pm, November 7th, 2009

    Boner wasn’t going to get tricked by any sinister French-looking word so he took extra care to pronounce it in American.

  25. iwillsavethispatient says at 10:36 pm, November 7th, 2009

    bago: eh? You mean I should have written:
    Not only did he say “hyperbowl”, but he was talking absolute hyper-”bollocks”.

  26. “Orange” you inspired ? The HyperBowL of Freedom ! !

  27. shadowMark says at 10:50 pm, November 7th, 2009

    Once reading out loud in class I pronounced “opaque” as op-a-cue BUT I WAS IN GRADE SCHOOL.

  28. PoignancySelz says at 10:51 pm, November 7th, 2009

    Hyperbowels — covered under Bonercare?

  29. iwillsavethispatient: If the drinking game were to be a drink everytime Boehner mentioned a page number, or wheever he said quote, the number of alcohol poisining cases would have led to fatalities of most of the commenteriat.

  30. PoignancySelz: If your Bonercare lasts for more than 4 hours…

  31. So who is the turncoat republican?

  32. Come here a minute says at 11:12 pm, November 7th, 2009
  33. We win, 220-215. Who is this Joseph Cao who forgot he was a Republican?

  34. CanadianBacon says at 11:21 pm, November 7th, 2009

    What do you expect, he doesn’t pronounce his own name right.

  35. June Cleaver 2.0 says at 11:24 pm, November 7th, 2009

    Noonan:I saw Tom Price objecting like a rude fool. I thought we were going to have one of those foreign-type fights. And of course Price being a Republic, he would certainly hit a girl.

    The lone Republic yea vote, I called it before he voted.

  36. DemmeFatale says at 11:25 pm, November 7th, 2009

    iwillsavethispatient: Bollocks! Second only to “wanker” in the British lexicon!

  37. June Cleaver 2.0 says at 11:30 pm, November 7th, 2009

    Cao took the seat of that guy that had money in his freezer. His district is majority black. He is a quiet seemingly thoughtful guy. He should definitely switch.

  38. It shows that he reads.

  39. iwillsavethispatient says at 11:40 pm, November 7th, 2009

    DemmeFatale: And it’s always amusing that you can say it in America without people being offended.

  40. AKAM80TheWolf says at 12:05 am, November 8th, 2009

    June Cleaver 2.0:

    See he can’t. Like most Cubans who escaped Communism and thus have to be Republicans. His family escaped Communism in Viet Nam so he is forced to be a Republican. Even if he lives among the strongly hued poors in LA.

  41. BaconTime says at 1:05 am, November 8th, 2009

    is that where they do the lightcycles in Tron

  42. Jukesgrrl says at 1:43 am, November 8th, 2009

    A woman Speaker leads the House in passing healthcare reform, Northwestern beats Iowa, and a filly wins the Breeder’s Cup Classic. Am I on the holodeck?

  43. Hey, stop making fun that his name sounds like “boner,” as in “an erect penis.” I think that’s terribly offensive because my real name is John Thomas McCockingtonswallow and I think you should all leave the man alone and show some respect.

    Furthermore, I have a speech impediment where I pronounce the word impediment as “im-ped-uh-mentos the freshmaker” and hyperbole as “kwit-bee-ing-sew-draw-matic.” All the kids used to make fun of me at school.

    Also, I am orange.

    Leave Mr. Boneher alone!

  44. excetera.

  45. schvitzatura says at 2:17 am, November 8th, 2009

    The stem or trunk of a tree, Boner? Naturally, IPA “bəli”!

  46. Expresso? Nucular?

  47. LowerdPeninsula says at 2:39 am, November 8th, 2009

    AKAM80TheWolf: “strongly hued poors”

    I now have another euphamism to describe myself! I’m a “Strongly-Hued American”! I’m also Pigmentally Endowed/Gifted.

  48. thesheriffisnear says at 3:17 am, November 8th, 2009

    Irregardless, he’s still the leader of the Grand Old Party

  49. Lascauxcaveman says at 4:35 am, November 8th, 2009

    I’m afraid, Mr. Boner, that HyperBowl will only occur when those awesome Cuban and Japanese football teams will be able to compete against the NFL.

    Until then, sadly, no HyperBowl.

  50. SayItWithWookies says at 5:04 am, November 8th, 2009

    hotdog: Sponsored by Ritalin.

  51. Pop Socket says at 8:52 am, November 8th, 2009

    Freudian slip proving that he really wanted to be watching football like the rest of non-wonk America.

  52. InKnockYouUs says at 10:32 am, November 8th, 2009

    LowerdPeninsula: Pigmentally Endowed–WIN!

  53. Crank Tango says at 10:42 am, November 8th, 2009

    DemmeFatale: lorry-bollocks!

  54. proudgrampa says at 12:23 pm, November 8th, 2009

    We put the boner in the hyperbowl for you!

    I fear for America…

  55. RoscoePColtraine says at 1:47 pm, November 8th, 2009

    I would say Hooray! for Hooked on Phonics, but since this means the minority leader is unfamiliar with a word he uses publicly I haz a sad.

  56. Hyperbole is a Greek word. Boehner should ask some Grik, like Mark Molasses, how to pronounce it. Then there’s always George Steponmepleeze.

  57. RoscoePColtraine says at 2:01 pm, November 8th, 2009

    I laughed till I died when I read about this. It was the funniest thing I’ve heard in a million years.

  58. you cannot be serious says at 4:07 pm, November 8th, 2009

    P-O-T-A-T-O-E

  59. Gumboz1953 says at 4:37 pm, November 8th, 2009

    I grew up in New Orleans. Cao represents my old district. I’m a librul democrate, but if I WERE still a N.O. voter, I’d vote for this guy in a heartbeat. He may be Republican but GAWD — can you imagine the guts going against Boner, Limbo, and all of the wingnuts? Jeebus. Some hyperballs on that guy.

    More importantly, Carolina is beating the Saints. Oh well, there goes the season.

  60. rocktonsammy says at 6:00 pm, November 8th, 2009

    Tommy Chong went to prison because of hyperbowls.

  61. That’s like saying simile is “smile.” See? It’s happy talk. It’s gigantic bowl of smiles - enough for everybody to be happy.

  62. octupletsmom says at 10:36 pm, November 8th, 2009

    WHAT a Boehnhead that man is (laughs gently).

  63. octupletsmom says at 10:44 pm, November 8th, 2009

    And BTW, Robert Byrd he is not. It’s too bad we’re going to lose that guy. He did know the sorts of things that real statesmen of the classical mold would know. Who else is anything like that?

  64. zhubajie says at 6:27 am, November 9th, 2009

    Not a credit to Moeller High School or Xavier U. Perhaps voted into office to keep him out of Cincinutty?

  65. Sussemilch says at 12:36 pm, November 9th, 2009

    hotdog: Awesome.

  66. BoreExpert says at 1:33 pm, November 9th, 2009

    So who’s going to be playing in the Superbole?

  67. thesheriffisnear says at 2:35 pm, November 9th, 2009

    If you want to sound intelligent try to use the words skill set, stakeholders and iteration into your conversation. Try it, it works.

  68. sigerson says at 3:00 pm, November 9th, 2009

    At an interminable committee meeting, I once heard a colleague say “debacle”, rhyming it with “monocle.” It took every ounce of strength not to spit out my coffee. Man, that was a horrible meeting made sweetly memorable by one minor gaffe. Still makes me smile.

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