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Wonkette
Good lord. We have been watching this Historic House Health Care Bill Debate Of History all day(-ish), and the House is at least ten times more comical than the Senate. Exhibit 1: Here’s a lil’ baby that Rep. John Shadegg found, in a trash can outside the pages’ dorm. Maddie no likey the lib-libs, no she doesn’t! Maddie hatey hatey Pelosi fag-care, IDN’T DAT RIGHT MADDIE, yes it is. Maddie may have just escaped it herself, but does Maddie want free abortions for the other babies? NO SHE DUDN’T. Oy. Consider this an open thread. They will soon debate the *bullshit* Stupak/Catholic Bishops amendment to ensure that no non-aristocrats ever get abortions again, then they will fart all over the GOP alternative plan, then they may vote later tonight. We will provide updates in some form, as they come. [YouTube]
Props to the props, asshat.
When did they lift the ban on babies in the House? Didn’t they ban babies because of baby-eater Dennis Hastert?
Maddy isn’t even retarded! Sarah Palin’s prop wins, Sheedag.
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking.
With Maddie’s rock solid conservative principles, Shadegg better watch in out in the primary for her as a Conservative Party challenger.
Working over the weekend, Jim?
I liked how she was trying to shut him the fuck up by moving the mic away from his lying mouth.
My God, I just saw this baby wrangler on the news and immediately came here. And of course, you’ve already got it up. Wonkette > Washington Post.
Also: O RLY?
I think it’s commendable at Infant-Americans are raising the tone of debate in Congress.
That baby would be the perfect spokesman for the Republican party, if only it has started crying.
If the republicans are having to resort to what amounts to political child pornography to garner support, I think they are in trouble.
Look at Ted Fuckin’ Poe behind Shadegg. What a chode.
MGBYG: It would have worked better had he used a well-used and abused (for a variety of purposes) sweatsock: “Socky says he’s going to go Galt on you parasitic poor folks who don’t have insurance and stop paying taxes to you freeloaders”.
I don’t get it. Don’t the conservatives want their own kind to out-breed the poors & the browns?
Not quite as stomach-turning as the Republican’s noble attempt to shout at Democratic ladies while they tried to speak. She may be cute now, but if Maddie becomes a liberal lawmaker, the rules are definitely going to change.
Does Jim love anything more than watching a batshit-crazy floor debate on a Saturday?
No he dudn’t! [My new favorite word.]
Me too — how about that Dingell!
So Maddie says, if you want health care you should pay for it your self?
Well I have 2 cats that could debate her. Domino wants to know why she thinks the health care reform bill will make rates increase. And Speedy wants to know where in the bill does it say her Mom’s insurance will go away.
“She dudn’t want her mom’s taxes to go up by 730 billion dollars, do you Maddie?”
I would be happy to have my taxes go up by 730 billion dollars, I’d even happily pay 99% rate if my taxes went up that much.
I bet Maddie’s home schooled — somebody teach that kid math.
TheCoolestGuyInTown: My cat would just spray Shadegg in the face and then scratch his eyes out.
I find nothing more irritating that the quod est retardatum argument that abortion should be illegal cuz of this lil cute baby right here…clearly this lil cute baby right here made it into the world just fine, thereby proving that abortion is not actually a threat to the this lil cute baby right here population AT ALL.
For rebuttal, The House now recognizes a goat and two ficus trees. You have one minute.
Worst. Ventriloquist. EVER.
And it’s these people will decide whether the poorest 15% of the American working class will get more than emergency care over their comparatively short lives.
Heads, laughter; tails, weeping. Gin from the bottle, however it turns out, also.
Well, it’s all over. Who can argue against that? Also, remind me why it is other countries all envy our democratic process. What’s that, they don’t envy anything about our political system at all? Oh, OK, everything makes “sense” then.
Despite what Shadegg said, it looked like all Maddie was thinking is that the microphone was a really fun toy. Quite frankly, her point made a lot more sense than what the Congressman was saying.
The Democrats wouldn’t dare put up a counterargument against a [I]baby[/I], f’Chrissakes. They’d look like a bunch of bullies, as Mr. Shaggy clearly calculated. Now debate shuts down and health care is banned forever, and Maddie’s mom is spared from ever having to do anything for anyone else ever again, ever.
Someone needs to bring out “Mandy” the crack-baby, whose father is dead and mother incarcerated, and will most likely never be able to purchase health insurance on her own because she will be considered a “former drug-addict”, and good luck finding a job that provides health care little one!
Why do Republicans hate babies?
It’s really making me nauseous that they are using giving health care to the poorest American’s as an end run around Roe v. Wade.
You got to be shittin me.
Maybe Maddie should work on not shitting her pants before joining the national debate on health care. Same goes for republicans.
what if maddie becomes deaf and gets sick, is that a pre-existing condition?
“Boy! What does it take now days. It used to be if you had sex with an 18 year old, you got in trouble. Then they had to be 15. Now I just find some random kid to molest and use on the floor of the House, and nobody notices. What does it take to get into the leadership!”
And was it just me, or did I hear Baby Maddie say “No Kenyan Muslin is my President” at the beginning?
El Pinche: Word is that they bussed in a bunch from New Jersey to keep them from Christie.
Flanders: If by working you mean doing shots with Liz while playing some weird drinking game while watching CSPAN…, Well, then Jim is willing to sacrifice for us all.
One Yield Regular: I know, Shadegg’s lips were moving the whole time.
kewlguy42069: “Don’t the conservatives want their own kind to out-breed the poors & the browns?”
Yeah, that’s not part of the equation - turns out, very little actual reproductionresults from these Minneapolis airport bathroom trysts…
And who the hell’s kid is it anyway? Do they just have a baby dispensary? Or did Shadegg just go to one of the daycares and picked up a kid at random? Does Mrs. Shadegg know about this relationship?
Will Bill O’Reilly says he hates people using kids in politics, so I’m sure he will call Shadegg out on Monday…, Oh, what, Shadegg a Republican…, Never mind.
To paraphrase Andy Warhol, in the future, everyone will be an on-the-house-floor prop for some lobectomied Republican desperately seeking a point of distraction from actual logical argumentation.
Bachmann’s lei < Baby Maddie
Seriously Michelle, if you want the title of “Craziest Congressmember” you need to step up your absurd props game.
This Video Actually Happened
C’mon Dems bring out some puppies, yeah, everybody loves puppies.
Maddie is symbolic of the Republican’s position on health care reform: fetal.
LOL Notice how the baby kept trying to move the mic away from the old wind bag. Even she was thinking “dude this is weak and pathetic, thank baby Jeebus I’m not that fat baby or I wouldn’t have health insurance, now let me go sit with Dennis Kucinich I want to pass my wish list to him to give to Santa.”
John Thune: I’M AS MADDIE AS HELL AND I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!
PoignancySelz: You know who else like puppies?…
Yeah, that’s what I thought.
Great Old Ones Party: OK, have they wheeled out some cancer patients yet? Unfortunately, there is nothing funny about cancer patients, but it is a predictable prop.
I wonder if Sarah Silverman would even push that envelope.
One day Maddie will grow up to be a good DC liberal and will hate her asshat father for allowing the congressman to parade her around as an argument why only some people should get health care.
Maddie/Palin 2012
Well, somebody had to.
Katydid: How about Trig/Maddie 2044?
When will somebody in the MSM ask this Maddie character to point to the part of the bill that refers to her mom’s health care having to change?
I also highly doubt that her mom makes $730 billion, let alone that her taxes will go up by that much. And then she says that the bill will cost $1.3 million? Not sure if she’s doing the math right there.
And please clarify for me, “Maddie,” how both your mom’s premiums and taxes and your grandkids taxes will go up because of this bill. Pick a position, does your mom have to pay for it, or is she going to pass the costs on to you and your grandkids?
It’s like this baby has little to no knowledge about either the content of the bill or the nature of taxation in this country.
Katydid: inga loves katy!
Looking at the screen grab, I can help but wonder if the guy on the right of the screen is thinking to himself “Hmm..a hack politician using a BABY as prop as an emotional diversion from a topic he is clearly wrong about! Why..that is just fucking brilliant!
Was that Shadegg talking or was Maddie loading her diaper for him.
Does Maddy really believe all that stuff about the health insurance reform bill? Maddy appearst to be as ill-informed as her gran’pa.
wallythepug: My cats just want to know why I keep tossing out those delightful headless corpses of squirrels and mountain beavers they keep leaving on my Aubusson carpet. They’re pretty apolitical, even for cats.
How much are we paying the workers at this clown college? Compared to them I think health insurance executives, evil union auto workers and even fat cat bankers are a bargain productivity wise.
But it brings to mind a Will Rogers Quote: “This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.” They’ve got the baby, now all they need is the hammer. (and please let John Boehner hold Maddie with a hammer first).
Eric Cantor should dawn a mask and spandex tights and leap from building to building across DC as The Tort Reformist. Lord only knows patients suing their doctors for leaving a knife inside them after surgery is the greatest threat to the Union.
I really hope he brings in an aborted fetus to the next debate, say “Betsy” or “CeeCee” - maybe it can be one of those illegal ones done with a coat hanger in a DC back alley somewhere - oh, ha ha what a clever rhetorical device that would be. “Betsy says she would much rather see public money go to vouchers towards parochial schools that teach intelligent design and good American values” etc.
Why wasn’t that man arrested for molesting a baby on the House floor?
Lascauxcaveman: damn, man, what kind of kitties do you have that bring home mountain beavers?!? You should have a “Beware the Cats!” sign on your fence.
Lascauxcaveman: Oh, he’s not her grandfather.
Can’t the republicans just use more unclear football analogies? Why abuse more children?
Up here, we call that shit child abuse, son.
If I hear “government take-over of health care” one more time, I’m going to explode. I wish that that was what was on the table or being proposed. The bill is, in essence, feeding an entire new group of folks to existing health insurance companies, but the government gets to specify how this particular group can be prepared before they are eaten by the insurance industry.
Words: I have the kind of kittehs that have mountain beavers burrowing in their yard, that’s what kind. Mountain beavers are plenty bad-ass, but they’re also kinda slow and stupid. Also, they taste like fresh red meat; they can’t help it. So my kittehs can’t resist. [/singing: "In the Circle of Liiiiife..."]
I’m trying to teach my cats to run down some deer, because my yard is lousy with venison as well.
Jeebus Christ it fucking passed. The Stupak amendment is perhaps the only reason Health Care won the house, and got that one GOP vote. I am too angry to snark.
Wow, just flat out using someone else’s kid as a prop. When I’ve marched at pro-choice events, I always see the anti-abortion nuts out with their giant brood, each kid holding a different aborted fetus sign. Hey, guess what? Using your kid as a political tool? Not okay. Further, your damn kid can’t vote and doesn’t know anything about the issues. So, why should I care what a baby thinks? If kids had their way we’d have ice cream at every meal but no running water or electricity.
I wish Maddy would have done one of two things:
• Turn the microphone off
• Spit up on the microphone AND the old coot.
I hope Maddy delivered a load of appreciation to Shadegg (in her diapers!)
selfish muthrfkr
Probably trading diapers with Vitter.
Support Shadegg’s opponent,
visit http://www.hulburdforcongress.com