Fox News’ in-house eugenicist Brian Kilmeade had a provocative suggestion this morning, on his network’s A.M. comedy show: “KILMEADE: Do you think it’s time for the military to have special debriefings of Muslim Army officers — anybody enlisted?…Because if I’m going to be deployed in a foxhole, if I’m going to be sticking in an outpost, I got to know the guy next to me is not going to want to kill me.” Got to know it, man, Brian’s just got to know it.

BUT WAIT, Gretchen Wilson would like to put it another way: what Brian means is, why did the liberals do this?

Could it be that out military was also exercising political correctness — even though he had a poor performance report, even though he spoke openly about being a radical and had those supposed postings online — could it be that the military was exercising political correctness in not approaching as seriously as they would have if he had not been a Muslim?

WAIT, let us put it another way: is there maybe perhaps possibly a clause in the House health care bill ordering Muslim soldiers to do this regularly? Is this what they mean by “opt-out” public option?

[Sigh.] The great James Fallows had a great take on the shootings, which he would, because he is the great James Fallows! It is terrible when shootings happen, and authorities should try to figure out why these shootings happen, and do what they can to prevent them from happening again, but usually what happens — whether it’s this or George Tiller or whatever — is someone has one political view or another and is insane and has access to weapons. We don’t need a major change in federal policy every time the downside risks of an open society materialize.

(Fox and Friends is the funniest show on television. Did you know that?)

“Fox And Friends” Hosts Worry That Military Needs “Special Debriefings” For Muslims [Huffington Post/Jason Linkins]

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  1. The fact that we still fight wars from foxholes might be why we’re having so many problems. Pretty much every other military has moved on from WW I tactics. Just something to think about, General Kilmeade.

  2. “This is why we need special debriefings for bi-curious Army officers. If I’m going to be deployed in a foxhole, if I’m going to be sticking in an outpost, I got to know the guy next to me is going to be able to restrain himself from ass-raping me repeatedly while mortar shells rain down around us because my milkshake is just fucking irresistible.”

  3. I got to know the guy next to me is not going to want to kill me.

    Muslims, hell. Many people of diverse ethnicities would be lining up to frag Brian Kilmeade.

  4. one day we’ll look back on these disgusting people and cry. and, unless they are so far gone they have come to be generally regarded as kooks, they won’t look on this as their finest hour themselves. well, I can hope.

  5. And what about all the military shootings carried out by white, X-ian males?
    Why does Kilmeade hate America by not protecting it from these enemies of democracy?

    fucking c*nt.

  6. What if a solider is a Rapture-ready Fundie? He might kill you and himself just to bring on the Jesus Escalator? Or those atheists who don’t even believe in an afterlife? They might kill you just because you listen to shitty music on your iPod.

    Best approach: ask each soldier if he/she listens to Glenn Beck. Cull them.

  7. “if I’m going to be sticking in an outpost”

    He’s not even trying to pretend to have a fucking clue. Why not just say “we no give muslim a boom-stick”

  8. Life in the foxhole, according to Shepperd Smith: You can’t trust the grunt next to you anymore, either he wants to kill you ‘cuz he’s a muslin, or wants to blow you because he’s a queer. What to do?

  9. Telling choice of words there, that use of the foxhole conceit. I mean, isn’t that the same line that used to get thrown around when conservatives would trumpet their sexual insecurities when discussing the idea of gays in the military?

    Anyway, Kilmeade already is a Foxhole.

  10. Interesting note: “sticking in an outpost” is actually a direct translation from Mandarin Chinese of the activity that the Brits coyly refer to as “going rogue.”

  11. The guy next to him is going to kill him anyway – just because the dude is a walking Kick Me sign.

    And are we really supposed to believe he’d be anywhere around a war-zone to begin with? I’m guessing if they tried to get him to go that he’d be hiding so far under his bed that they’d have to tear his house down to get at him.

  12. The Islams SHOULD APOLOGIZE for this shooting to prove they are truly Americanists. Adhering to the same logic I apologize on behalf of my white christian USA gender and race (aka “real Americans”) for the following:

    University of Texas at Austin massacre
    SC State killings
    Kent State shootings
    Jackson State shootings
    Olean High School shooting
    California State University, Fullerton massacre
    Cleveland Elementary School shooting
    Parkway South Middle School shooting
    Goddard Middle School shooting
    Portland Junior High School shooting
    Pinellas Park High School shooting
    Hubbard Woods School shooting
    Cleveland School massacre
    University of Iowa shooting
    Lindhurst High School shooting
    Palo Duro High School shooting
    Edward Tilden High School shooting
    Simon’s Rock College of Bard shooting
    East Carter High School shooting
    Amityville High School shooting
    Reseda High School shooting
    Wauwatosa West High School shooting
    Grimsley High School shooting
    Wickliffe Middle School shooting
    Blackville-Hilda High School shooting
    Richland High School shooting
    Frontier Middle School shooting
    Hamilton High School shooting
    Mid-Penninsula High School shooting
    San Diego State University shooting
    Hetzel Union Building shooting
    Bethel Regional High School
    Pearl High School shooting
    Heath High School shooting
    Westside Middle School shooting
    Parker Middle School dance shooting1
    Thurston High School shooting
    Columbine High School massacre
    Heritage High School shooting
    Fort Gibson Middle School shooting
    Buell Elementary School shooting
    Lake Worth Middle School shooting
    University of Arkansas shooting
    Santana High School shooting
    Granite Hills High School shooting
    Martin Luther King, Jr. High School shooting
    Appalachian School of Law shooting
    John McDonogh High School shooting
    Red Lion Area Junior High School shootings
    Case Western Reserve University shooting
    Rocori High School shooting
    Columbia High School shooting
    Fairleigh Dickinson University shooting
    Red Lake Senior High School massacre
    Campbell County High School shooting
    Pine Middle School shooting
    Essex Elementary School shooting
    Orange High School shooting
    Platte Canyon High School shooting
    Weston High School shooting
    Amish school shooting
    Henry Foss High School shooting
    University of Washington shooting
    Virginia Tech massacre
    Delaware State University shooting
    SuccessTech Academy shooting
    Louisiana Technical College shooting
    Mitchell High School shooting
    E.O. Green School shooting
    Northern Illinois University massacre
    Davidson High School Shooting
    Central High School shooting
    Henry Ford High School shooting
    2008 University of Central Arkansas shootings
    Dillard High School shooting
    Henry Ford Community College shooting
    Hampton University shooting
    Larose-Cut Off Middle School
    Skyline College shooting
    Deer Valley High School

    I also apologize for David Koresh and the ATF.

    Oh, and Oklahoma city…

    And for good measure, Charles Manson (but not Marilyn Manson).

    Ok now shut up a get in yer foxhole Brian Kool-Aid!

  13. I wish someone would do a comparative study to prove (or disprove) once and for all that Muslims/Christians/Hindus/etc. go fucking nutso and shoot their coworkers at relatively the same rates. I mean, that’s basically what happened here. Some other dipshit is doing the same thing today in Orlando. In fact, I might go so far as to say that shooting ones coworkers is a great American tradition, along with lynchings, gay-bashing, and child porn.

    Bad stuff happens all the time, not everything needs to be crammed into some bullshit political narrative.

    [re=452621]Great Old Ones Party[/re]: I’m pretty sure you meant to say “fucking cunt”. I am in a bit of a contrarian and foul-mouthed mood today, so I’ll say it plain: “Brian Kilmead is a fucking cunt”. Wow, that feels better.

  14. [re=452632]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: No, no; every time a Christianist commits an act of terrorism, it’s just a loan nut and it has nothing to do with their religion; however, every bad act by a Muslin is obviously the responsibility of the entire religion.

  15. The only interpretation more sordid than that in which everything that happens can always be squared patly with one’s shallow worldview is the one that insists that with just a little more surveillance, a little more discrimination, a little more imprisonment without charges, everything will be just fine.

    That said, I can’t quite agree with Fallows in regard to this incident — yes, ultimately the quest for meaning is empty; however, the pressures brought on someone who was cracking yet too valuable for the Army to let go should have raised some red flags. Not because of his religion or his Arabic descent — just because anyone in the military who’s stretched to the breaking point can be a danger to himself and others.

    Speaking of which, can we get our 100,000+ troops the fuck out of Iraq, please? I mean, they’re holed up in bases right now — so why wait?

  16. Next on FOX!

    FEMA camps for Muslims?
    When we lock them up aren’t we just coddling the enemy with 3 square meals a day and a protective fence?

  17. @queeraselvis v 2.0 SERIOUSLY! What a rationed, well-thought process he had on this story. I liked him! For two minutes and twenty seven seconds I liked Geraldo.

    Damn you, Fox. Damn you!

  18. Someone should explain to Brian that back in the days when there were foxholes, British soldiers didn’t want any Irish in there with them. Would that be OK with him?

  19. If Kilmeade thought he had a 1 in a bazillion chance of being deployed anywhere in this lifetime, much less a foxhole, he’d be on the Snowball Express to Canada faster than Geraldo could say Caramba!

  20. BBC just quoted an American Marine who said the shooter was undoubtedly surrounded by fanatical Christians and it shouldn’t come as a surprise that might have pushed him over the edge.

  21. [re=452631]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Hey, Newt is the “moderate voice” of the Republican Party. Anything’s possible in Martin Luther King’s Nightmare.

  22. [re=452629]One Yield Regular[/re]: awaiting approval:

    (contraction of ‘FOX’ and ‘asshole’)

    1. Any number of people that regularly whore themselves out to FOX News Channel as either special guests, analysts or experts. esp. on ‘FOX and Friends’.

    2. Anyone appearing on FNC that holds an opinion that makes Glenn Beck look like a rational individual.

    1. Did you hear what Karl Rove had to say about J-Lo’s dog’s new sweater? He is such a FOXhole.

    2. Brian Kilmeade wants to kick all the muslims out of the military and set up selective breeding programs to prevent dementia in the elderly. What a FOXhole!

  23. We don’t need a major change in federal policy every time the downside risks of an open society materialize.

    The messy results of freedom. So messy!

  24. wait wait wait…

    i just watched the full clip and Geraldo first praises the our brave muslin warriors and then, less than thirty seconds later, called our military men and women “civil servants in uniform”?

  25. they should rename the show “Two Cunts, a Dick and an Asshole”

    sorry to be vulgar (on the wonkette of all places) but if ever there was an argument against the first ammendment, it’s FOX n Friends.

  26. [re=452661]Great Old Ones Party[/re]: and, Libruls know nothing about Liberty.

    At least there are no atheists in FoxHoles.
    Just rats and trench foot and dead comrades.

  27. If only the gun laws in Texas were more in line with what our founding fathers intended when they made the 2nd amendment. Right? Everyone should be packing at least 2 firearms, preferably 3. A clearly visible pearl handled revolver in a tooled leather holster with lots and lots of shiny bullets, a smaller semi auto pistol in an ankle holster that you can whip out while pretending to tie your shoe, and finally a teensy little pistol cleverly concealed betwixt your shoulder blades as a last resort.
    This of course does not take into account the various rifles and shotguns every one should own to cover other situations, like when the towel heads break out of the FEMA camps and are roaming the country side looking for cous cous.

  28. Look, Brian, you can either share the foxhole with the scary muslim man or the big flaming homo…it’s up to you, but you have to chose one.

  29. [re=452627]Canadian Dracula[/re]: I did something seriously bad to my already bad joints and even with the muscle relaxers I had to take (I hate those things) I was able to laugh out loud at this one. Kudos. I’d steal it for my facebook page, but Mom scandalizes the little ones badly enough as it is.

    I can’t believe I’m the first one to propose this, but when do we start “our” wonkette’s odds making on when the Teabaggers/FauxNews start screaming for Internment Camps for the you-know-who’s. Because we all know it’s just a matter of time.

  30. Did the Army hold on to him because he was Muslim, or because they’re desperate for all the help they can get with recruiting hitting phenomenal lows, in spite of loosened standards and prior criminal convictions ignored, after years of mismanaged wars in Iraq and Afghanistan?

    Gotta be the Muslim thing.

  31. [re=452651]chascates[/re]: That makes as much sense as any other theory I have heard today, and much more than most.

    If I was stuck working with a bunch of fundie Foxholes I might consider an armed rampage, for the the good of the country, you understand, and purely out of patriotism.

  32. [re=452636]WarAndG[/re]: This country is really violent, isn’t it? Reminds me of the morning I came down the stairs at the Seattle house to grab something to eat before I went to work, and my visiting English friends were sitting at the kitchen table, staring at the PI (morning newspaper), so white faced and stunned they couldn’t even drink their tea. “Look at this.” Andrew said and pointed to a story about a 14 year old in Yakima who had exercised his 2nd Amendment rights on his mother.

    “Huh,” I said and drank my protein shake. My friends looked even more horrified. Lest they thought I was a horrible person, I quickly explained that a kis shooting Mom with one of dad’s handguns isn’t all that unusual in the USA. Besides the fact the boy was neither Muslim nor gay.

  33. [re=452651]chascates[/re]: For some time now, I’ve been reading article in the CS Monitor about the Evangelicalizing (my word, not theirs) of the military. And Jeff Skulleldldl–whatever–you know, the lefty who wrote the book about Blackwater, says the soldiers are over there pushing Bibles at Muslims. And the few Christians who are still alive, because they look Arab and aren’t fundies.

    How out of control will the right take this story? Even I can’t imagine. And I can imagine a lot about this band of lunatics, esp. since I live among so many of them.

  34. [re=452734]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Just read that and obviously should have said they looked horrified at my blase reaction, not the fact I was drinking a protein shake.

  35. [re=452668]Potater[/re]: I don’t watch Fox. Ever. My blood pressure can’t take it, and neither can my mental health. But is Gretchen Carlson the little bitch with the platinum chin-length pageboy haircut, who simpers and smirks and rolls her eyes and sighs and shrugs and looks flabbergasted and does all these facial expressions reminiscent of a particularly bitchy High School Soash Queen mocking a nerd?

    Hate her.

  36. I used FoxHole on my fb page so I’ve fired the first volley in the war of words, labeling the teevee dipshit FoxHole and FoxHoles. Hmm. Doesn’t sound as harsh as I’d wished.

    Fundamentally, the USA is a wholly owned subsidiary of multi-national corporations, isn’t it? And all these idiots are just their puppets, aren’t they? And the end of the great experiment that Madison anticipated would take place 50 years after ratification of the constitution has actually been delayed 200+ years, but is finally upon us, isn’t it?

    It’s okay. You can tell me. I feel so crummy it won’t make any difference to me now, but it’s kind of shitty for my kids.

  37. NPR just interviewed an Army officer who said there are established methods for dealing with harassment in the service and this guy should have just followed them. The speaker must have been a general with that attitude. There are rules against sexual harassment but I doubt there is any female enlistees, NCOs, or officers that haven’t been harassed at least once in their military service. The same for racial harassment, gays or lesbians, or whatever. Just having a policy doesn’t eliminate the problem. And a lot of higher-ups will just ignore it or even turn on the complainer.

    There are no problems. Don’t make waves.

  38. [re=452636]WarAndG[/re]: You could have saved yourself the time you spent compiling that list of school, etc. shootings.

    Just refer to that kind of thing collective as “2nd Amendment Freedom Events.”

  39. [re=452642]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I agree. Further, whether or not there are enough dead, white bodies for the cable news media to sensationalize shouldn’t dissuade conservations about lax gun and harassment policies, lack of emergency preparedness protocols, the need to provide expanded access to quality mental health care services, reduce stigma, etc.

    Since my brother was shot gangbangers in South LA, I never see the “Meaninglessness of Shootings.” High strung students, burnt-out service members, and elder paranoiacs constantly shooting up everything everywhere should not be an acceptably normal part of any society, even one as fucked up as ours.

  40. [re=452755]Min[/re]: Hell, if I was stuck in fucking heaven with that guy, I’d probably shoot him. Likely after somebody else did. Or hell, also.

  41. [re=452799]chascates[/re]: I’m a female and I spent 20 years in the Air Force. I can honestly say that I was never harassed once. That means, NEVER.

    Served with Lindsey Graham too — prosecuted some court-martials with him — in his decent years, before he turned into a prick. Even went TDY with him. Maybe that was my harassment, but I didn’t know it yet.

  42. [re=452830]Gumboz1953[/re]: My apologies for painting with a broad brush. I meant that although the service has rules and regulations for almost any contingency that doesn’t eliminate the occurrence.

  43. And on the subject of sexual harassment and a great look into how things went in the early days of Operation Enduring Freedom I suggest:
    Love My Rifle More Than You: Young and Female in the U.S. Army by Kayla Williams.

  44. [re=452832]chascates[/re]: Well, come to think of it, you shouldn’t apologize. The Air Force wasn’t really the military, except maybe for the lunatics in SAC. Where I was, for far too long.

  45. [re=452846]Gumboz1953[/re]: Any time you have to always wait around for the simplest thing, stand in line for hours for no apparent reason, made to do what you’re told, then get bitched at even when you did what you were told, and can’t leave when you want to, that’s the military.

  46. Or, to put it another way:

    “could it be that the military was exercising PURE FLAT OUT PRAGMATISM in not approaching as seriously as they would have if he had not been a LIFER WHOSE EXPENSIVE MEDICAL DEGREE THE ARMY PAID FOR AND DAMMIT WE NEED SHRINKS ON THE GROUND AND ARMY DOCS ARE ALWAYS A LITTLE STRANGE?”

  47. From the headline, one wonders whose discharge Brian Kilmeade seeks. His own, to track down the source of urethral burning? Or that of other(s)?

  48. [re=452636]WarAndG[/re]: Point? Those non-Muslim shooters and mass killers were not terrorists. Were not. They were just having a really, really bad day. Like when your cable box goes on the fritz. E.g.. the ex-Army, Irish Catholic, Timothy McVeigh.

    An aside: 10% of the Phillipino population is Muslim. Is it time for Malkin to take a loyalty oath? Yes/No.

  49. [re=452931]chascates[/re]: Let’s try that Muslim psychiatrist Radovan Karadzic. Oh, shucks, our mass murderer is actually Serbian Christian Orthodox. Another group to keep under the Fox News political correctness microscope.

  50. Wait, we don’t already have “special” briefings for Muslins?!?! Why are they even in the army!!! Moses smell the roses. People are so stupid. Just freakin’ stupid.

  51. Just so you guys know, Geraldo has been subtlely mophing into something less than insane after his Hurricane Katrina reporting, and in the very early days of his career, he actually wasn’t a horrible person as far as his reporting slant.

    BTW, Foxhole? Is that what they are calling the anuses and rectums of FOX employees, these days? I suspect Killmeade has been “deployed” (i.e. deployed himself) into quite a few “FOXholes” over his lifetime and will deploy himself into quite a few more or have someone deployed into him.

    Aren’t double entendres just the bomb-diggity, y’all?

  52. i hope kilmeade tucks his toesies under the sheets tonight, lord knows them muzlims are gunna come out from under the bed or (foxhole) and give hime a swirly

  53. [re=452610]dum librul[/re]: Kilmeade, this is a HESCO gabion/’Concertainer’…here, get into this one, the backhoe will be here any minute to fill’er up.

  54. [re=452922]desertwind[/re]: Hasan’s buds at Walter Reed should have bought him the 36-disc M*A*S*H – Martinis and Medicine Complete Collection anthology (suicide is painless…) and a snazzy keffiyah for Eid.

    This might have been just enough to keep his Jarlsberg from sliding off his Captain’s Wafer…

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