• May 26, 2012
THE POORS

November 6, 2009

New York Times Explains This ‘Ten Percent’ Concept

by Jim Newell  

Look kids, this is what 10% unemployment looks like — one Men’s Room sign out of ten is filled with warm piss! The very important New York Times graphic adds, “That’s 15.7 million people. If the unemployed lived in one state, it would be the country’s fifth largest.” Great! Move ‘em all to one state, nuke it a few times, problem solved. [NYT]

{ 66 comments }

AnnieGetYourFun November 6, 2009 at 2:39 pm

Does this mean that Barack Obama is actually sorta kinda like Reagan?

SayItWithWookies November 6, 2009 at 2:40 pm

But wait — the graph illustrates 10%, yet 10.2% of Americans are unemployed. They’re completely different numbers. How are we supposed to visualize 10.2%? And what is it about the .2% that the MSM is trying to hide?

Doglessliberal November 6, 2009 at 2:40 pm

A charticle!

problemwithcaring November 6, 2009 at 2:41 pm

And if you count the underemployed and those no longer looking it’s something like 17.5% or in laymen’s – an astounding one out of five piss-filled restrooms.

Doglessliberal November 6, 2009 at 2:45 pm

[re=452425]problemwithcaring[/re]: And in how many of those are Republican politicians offering police officers $10 and a blow job? And how would you represent that on the chart?

Manos: Hands of Fate November 6, 2009 at 2:46 pm

Sorry but I still don’t get it. Can we start with what a “zeeerrro” is first?

proudgrampa November 6, 2009 at 2:47 pm

“Great! Move ‘em all to one state, nuke it a few times, problem solved.”

If you did that, there would be no one left to read Wonkette. And then where would you be, huh??

Prommie November 6, 2009 at 2:47 pm

Back in the glorious 80s when I went off to college, I was required to take a class in something called “biology,” one of the assigned texts was “The Cartoon Guide To the History of the Universe,” by Larry Gonick. Yes, this was how I was taught evolution, in college. Le sigh.

Accordion-o-rama November 6, 2009 at 2:47 pm

They should have represented 10.2% by having a small portion of the second guy colored yellow. All Wonketteers should now guess which portion.

Terry November 6, 2009 at 2:48 pm

“Move ‘em all to one state, nuke it a few times, problem solved.”

Sounds like Jim has a hangover.

hockeymom November 6, 2009 at 2:48 pm

And how many of those have weapons?

TGY November 6, 2009 at 2:49 pm

Masterful

Sharkey November 6, 2009 at 2:49 pm

Please, NYT, what I really need is a chart to help me understand the concept of 26 years.

WarAndG November 6, 2009 at 2:50 pm

I clicked on the yellow one and it didn’t do anything. So I’ve learned nothing. Lame.

freakishlystrong November 6, 2009 at 2:51 pm

That one employed Men’s restroom segn needs to lay off the asparagus. Sheesh!

Barrett808 November 6, 2009 at 2:53 pm
ShamWow November 6, 2009 at 2:53 pm

It’s odd that the employed are a sad gray color while the unemployed is a cheery yellow color. Then again, maybe the unemployed like receiving golden showers?

Cassawary November 6, 2009 at 2:54 pm

“Move ‘em all to one state, nuke it a few times, problem solved.”

I see I’m not the only Wonketeer who is having a piss-filled day.

Sharkey November 6, 2009 at 2:54 pm

[re=452435]Terry[/re]: And when he woke up, he discovered he peed himself. Hey, that would give me an itchy trigger finger too.

freakishlystrong November 6, 2009 at 2:54 pm

[re=452441]freakishlystrong[/re]: What’s a “segn”, fucktard?

loquaciousmusic November 6, 2009 at 2:56 pm

They have a similar chart for “Behind the Homosexual Agenda,” but the yellow guy is pink.

Monsieur Grumpe November 6, 2009 at 2:56 pm

I’m reasonably (10%) certain this is a racist graph.

magic titty November 6, 2009 at 2:56 pm

Anyone else suddenly want some Orange Julius?

Great Old Ones Party November 6, 2009 at 2:57 pm

Woohoo!
Go Capitalism!
Being an unemployed Objectivist, I will now go off myself to cease being an unproductive parasite and thus sacrifice myself for the greater good.
Hey, wait a minute…

CycloneArmageddon November 6, 2009 at 2:58 pm

Every one of those gray dudes has a job? Awesome.

kipperthegod November 6, 2009 at 2:58 pm

Well, if current statistics are to be believed, one in ten people are also same-sex oriented, are inclined to watch professional baseball regularly if they watch sports, drink a specific brand of American beer the bulk of their lives without switching, take antidepressants, are not inclined to get heart disease, are reformed Catholics, and are on food stamps. So we could form a state of gay baseball fans who drink Hamms, are mellow, healthy, progressive-minded, non junk-food eaters who have a lot of time on their hands. Sounds like a writer’s colony. Vermont?

Naked Bunny with a Whip November 6, 2009 at 2:58 pm

maybe the unemployed like receiving golden showers?

Would people who enjoy golden showers really have trouble finding employment?

queeraselvis v 2.0 November 6, 2009 at 2:59 pm

This is good news for John McCain.

proudgrampa November 6, 2009 at 3:00 pm

[re=452446]Barrett808[/re]: Technical analysis of that chart indicates we have a long way to go before we hit bottom…

Scary.

gurukalehuru November 6, 2009 at 3:00 pm

I nominate South Carolina.

RoscoePColtraine November 6, 2009 at 3:00 pm

But what happens if you boil one, gradually? Will he just stay put in the water until he realizes it’s too late? I’ve heard this is what happens, but it could be one of those urban legends, knowhumsayin’? If only someone would be kind enough to demonstrate.

Humpback November 6, 2009 at 3:02 pm

Unsnarky here, but the NYT also had another chart, showing the monthly job loss data, and it was less and less every month that Obama has been president. There’s good news you never hear.

Naked Bunny with a Whip November 6, 2009 at 3:02 pm

This graph tells me that Chinamen are too lazy too work, while the gray Hulks have jobs. Just as I always suspected!

FMA November 6, 2009 at 3:02 pm

[re=452433]Prommie[/re]: And you probably still learned more about evolution than graduates of Liberty or Pat Robertson’s School of Law and Hair Design.

Sharkey November 6, 2009 at 3:03 pm

[re=452455]magic titty[/re]: When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then make piss-filled restrooms out of that. Then make Orange Julius out of that.

magic titty November 6, 2009 at 3:04 pm

[re=452446]Barrett808[/re]: I don’t not unnerstan numbers.

Too many people + too little work = America FAIL.

Right?

Aurelio November 6, 2009 at 3:04 pm

“Move ‘em all to one state, nuke it a few times, problem solved.” They could be packed in ethylene glycol and shipped in DC8 type spaceships to Kilauea Volcano, where they could be nuked. Their souls could then be captured and allowed to wander around the earth in search of bodies to inhabit, thereby causing H1N1 flu.

Aurelio November 6, 2009 at 3:05 pm

[re=452422]SayItWithWookies[/re]: “How are we supposed to visualize 10.2%?” There should be a slight vertical sliver of piss in the second guy.

Naked Bunny with a Whip November 6, 2009 at 3:06 pm

Chinamen are too lazy too work

If you enjoy watersports, I have a position open proofreading my blog comments.

Naked Bunny with a Whip November 6, 2009 at 3:07 pm

[re=452475]Aurelio[/re]: Or he should have yellow feet. How is this graph colored anyway New York Times?!?!

Snarkalicious November 6, 2009 at 3:09 pm

[re=452422]SayItWithWookies[/re]: It’s a do it yourself kinda gig. They want to increase reader engagement in the content. So what you do is, pull that graphic back up. Now piss on the second dude’s shoes. 10 minutes later, a Muddy Waters impersonator will show up at your front door to lay open your cheek with a straight razor.

Marketing geniuses, I say.

Bearbloke November 6, 2009 at 3:12 pm

[re=452475]Aurelio[/re]: [re=452479]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: Some piss on #2′s shoes from a top-hat&tails-wearing Wall Street Bankster-figure would provide a proper visualisation…

Extemporanus November 6, 2009 at 3:13 pm

When it comes to jobs, the unemployed suffer from a “going” problem.

RoscoePColtraine November 6, 2009 at 3:14 pm

There’s that guy in 23C again…ringing his call button. Would you get it this time? Last time I went, and he complained that his seat cushion smelled like ass. I told him well if you people wouldn’t fart…

That graphic is an illuminated flight attendant call button. That’s what I saw. And the above is taken from the anals annals of bizarre but true airline complaints.

SmutBoffin November 6, 2009 at 3:16 pm

[re=452433]Prommie[/re]: HaHa, I was assigned The Cartoon Guide to Genetics* for a History of Science class.

*It was actually quite useful, but yeah, silly also.

Lionel Hutz Esq. November 6, 2009 at 3:18 pm

Wait, couldn’t we solve the whole problem by putting that 1 in 10 mens’ room back togather, and then employ the rest of the slobs to keep it clean when Larry Craig visits?

the problem child November 6, 2009 at 3:23 pm

That is what happens when you try to hold it too long.

Doglessliberal November 6, 2009 at 3:24 pm

[re=452433]Prommie[/re]: [re=452469]FMA[/re]: right, at least Prommie was taught evolution. The students of Kansas, Texasm, SC, etc etc all get to learn intelligent design.

Naked Bunny with a Whip November 6, 2009 at 3:28 pm

Oh, now I get it! The unemployed guy is yellow because of the jaundice caused by all the alcohol he drinks to bury the shame. All he needs is a noose and the graphic will be complete.

magic titty November 6, 2009 at 3:37 pm

So this ten percent of orange-Americans…are they the same bunch W.E.B DuBois was going on about, however many years back?

Atlas Spanked November 6, 2009 at 3:37 pm

Of course, the REAL (pre-Dubyah) calculation of the unemployment rate is 19.4 percent, but hey, math makes the media’s head hurt. Can’t be distracted by such disturbing facts when there are ambulances to chase and missing white girls to save.

Neoyorquino November 6, 2009 at 3:50 pm

I’ve been unemployed for seven months, and the “warm piss” joke made me laugh out loud. Thank you, Wonkette.

problemwithcaring November 6, 2009 at 4:08 pm

[re=452454]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Imma need that in graph form.

Doglessliberal November 6, 2009 at 4:13 pm

[re=452546]Neoyorquino[/re]: no snark, just wanted to say I am really sorry you, and other Wonketters who are unemployed, are going through this. I cannot imagine what I’d do and know I am incredibly lucky.

OK, back to piss andTruck Nutz.

Naked Bunny with a Whip November 6, 2009 at 4:15 pm

Yes, a layoff followed by endless months of unemployment sucks donkey balls.

….

I should probably get back to work.

bago November 6, 2009 at 4:24 pm

Well, since #1 is yellow, obviously #2 should be brown. Why doesn’t the New York Time understand what brown can do for them?

Smoke Filled Roommate November 6, 2009 at 4:38 pm

[re=452491]Extemporanus[/re]: I am so sick of hearing about old men’s piss problems..
“Bob was trying to fuck that sleazy next door neighbor in his golf cart, but just like his friends, he had to go!”

Extemporanus November 6, 2009 at 4:55 pm

[re=452633]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: Related, whiskey tango foxtwat is up with Cialis ads featuring couples sitting outside holding hands in totally separate clawfoot bathtubs?

Not exactly a ringing visual endorsement of peen-in-poon party time. Or does Cialis give one such a raging, rock-hard rod that two layers of cast iron are required to protect one’s lady friend’s lady parts from being completely decimated during the doing of the deed?

Jim89048 November 6, 2009 at 4:56 pm

[re=452446]Barrett808[/re]: Looking at that chart I realize that through all those peaks and valleys I had full employment until that one time during w’s term. Fortunately for Obama, I was able to convert my chronic unemploymentism into early retirement so he didn’t get the blame. Shit, the things I do for that man.

Tundra Grifter November 6, 2009 at 5:11 pm

“..one Men’s Room sign out of ten is filled with warm piss!” According to Cactus Jack, that makes it the equivalent of the Vice Presidency of the USofA.

Neoyorquino November 6, 2009 at 5:25 pm

[re=452582]Doglessliberal[/re]: Thanks. I keep busy by cashing in my legacy on eBay. I can’t complain *too* much. Me and Mrs. Neoyorquino are still managing to pay most of the bills (F-U, Wells Fargo!), and that’s a beautiful thing when others are losing homes.

WickedWitch November 6, 2009 at 5:38 pm

USA Today is preparing to sue the Ol’ Gray Lady for stealing its reporting style.

bitchincamaro November 6, 2009 at 5:57 pm

filled with warm piss…I have a feeling it might me cheap Scotch.

bitchincamaro November 6, 2009 at 6:02 pm

[re=452764]bitchincamaro[/re]: me be

(so Freudian)

Bruno November 7, 2009 at 4:38 am

Slow down there NYT, way too complicated. Can someone at USAToday explain it to me, with more colors?

villageatrois November 8, 2009 at 2:11 am

““That’s 15.7 million people. If the unemployed lived in one state, it would be the country’s fifth largest.” Great! Move ‘em all to one state, nuke it a few times, problem solved.”

Wait a minute. Not a state — the District of Columbia. 99% of Americans agree with you, and chose D.C. to be nuked. Some libtards in Arlington and Baltimore are waffling, but they are only 1% of the country. Hard, tough decisions are required for change and hope. That’s why we have hard and tough Raum and hard and tough Timmy Geithner. Nuking D.C. get the scale of efficiency that Timmy believes in.

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