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Oh do make sure to help out Dr. Ron Paul by voting in his who should be my Vice President when I am President poll! Look at all the completely random former novelty politicians and immediate family members there are to choose from. [RonPaul via Hit & Run]
11:46 AM
on Fri November 6 2009
By
Juli Weiner
1263 Views
Wonkette
Ron Paul would be a yout-ful 75. Judging by the way Barry has aged since becoming Preznit, I’m guessing Ron Paul if by the graces of an excessively cruel and mischievous Loki became preznit he’d end up looking like the Crypt Keeper afterwards.
I can’t decide between the zombie corpse of Ayn Rand, Michele Bachmann, or a trout. I think the trout offers the most intellectual heft for the ticket.
Paul/Palin is good because it sounds like a command: Paw Palin and as weird as she is, I find her kind of attractive in a turn-off-your-mind-relax-and-float-downstream kind of way. I’d paw her.
Lyndon LaRouche. Or perhaps the drummer from Fog Hat. OOH! YES! Ron Paul/Zombie Wesley Willis ‘12.
Definitely Lew Rockwell, the least-subtle racist of all Paultards.
I voted only for one- because there is only one- Mark Sanford.
How did Ellsworth Monkton Toohey not make this list?
Jesus?
I find it deeply ironic that Paultards consider Sarah P too crazy
Willis “the Holohoax did not happen” Carto. After all, they are already quite chummy with each other with Carto having been the publisher for multiple Paul books/screeds.
Naturally, the only man suitable to run with Ron Paul, is RON PAUL!
Or Jesus.
Bring back an old school crazy — David Dukes!
Wow! That’s quite a stew of crazy to select from. I’d go with McCain, it would look great on a blimp; Paulie/WALNUTS.
David Icke. A little British, but at least he’s HUman.
I thought Ron Paul was already President? I’m so confused…
The only requirement for that list seems to be being batshit insane; they even threw in a few liberals of the crazed variety. My votes would go to the ultimate Objectivists John Gault, Andrew Ryan, The Question, and Gorilla Grodd.
Brendan M.: Rockwell always feels like somebody’s watching him…
The 9 percent that voted for Dennis Kucinich to be Paul’s running mate (see website) and the six percent that voted for Alan Grayson are either confused as to what Ron Paul stands for, what Kucinich and Grayson stand for, or both.
On the other hand, those combinations would be REALLY FUN to watch, both on the campaign trail and governing.
Trig?
Glen Beck. So that the different types of crazies balance out.
ManchuCandidate: Well, in Barry’s defense, I’m his age almost exactly, and this is the year where I’m beginning to look like an oldz. And let’s just say I don’t have quite as much on my plate right now as he does.
Also I am disturbed that Jim Newell is not being considered as RM. Also.
Shatner!
I vote for Mwai Kibaki, current President of Kenya since 2002. He should be available by 2012 and I know a place where he can get a birth certificate.
I vote for the gold standard!
I’m sure Huckabee and Romney would be honored to play second fiddle to Ron Paul. And just so the poll isn’t all right-wing crazies, they’ve thrown in Cynthia McKinney. But hey, you know who would really complete this ticket? Tom Cruise. It would take the freak thing to a whole new level — and hey, it might even attract girls to Paul rallies.
bureaucrap: They thought it was Dick Grayson- Boy Wonder and super side-kick
SkoalRebel?
Ron Paul + The Constitution. If only it were a living document.
finallyhappy: Not for a long time. He’s Batman now.
hockeymom: The great state of California, with the greatest golden bridge ever built, seconds that nomination.
Cynthia McKinney will strike you all with a closed fist for failing to recognize her as the one true choice for VP.
Choose a hypothetical running-mate for a hypothetical candidacy for a hypothetical election. (There will be a Teabagger revolution against Socailisms sometime soon, right?)
Somebody suggested Noam Chomski because he’s a socialist libertarian. I thought that was cute.
I got nothin’.
Ted Nugent.
The selection process is simple, really. Hold a town hall meeting. First patriotic citizen to show up with an assault rifle wins the nomination.
Ronald Reagan’s corpse would turn out the base.
David Lee Roth.
Lola Falana. She was good enough for Johnny Carson, she’s good enough for God’s America.
Or Charles Nelson Reilly, professional talk show guest.
Is it to out there to suggest the blimp as his running mate? Because why the fuck not?
Does is count as a single running-mate if I suggest “the head of Alex Jones grafted to Lou Dobbs’ shoulder”?
hobospacejunkie: Wasn’t that Larry’s girlfriend in Three’s Company??
Jerome Corsi
The best part is the post at Reason which treats this whole thing as so very plebian. I mean, don’t they have better things to do like discuss whether private prisons are a great idea or the best idea, or why Ayn Rand should be more influential than your own brain in your own life.
And why is my former representative Mel Watt on that list? Because they needed a black dude and his name came up in the random representative generator? Why not Micheal Steele or that other guy that ran for RNC chair, or Jimmy JJ Walker or Mr. Bojangles if they’re still alive, those guys were funny.
A Ron Paul - LaToya Jackson ticket is what America needs now.
A broke and divided country needs something to laugh about together.
can you vote for a group? I’m thinking Dr Congressman Ron Paul would work well with the Lizard People.
Did anyone put Walter Joseph “Rorschach” Kovacs? He’s seen the city’s true face.
Where is Manly Rash?
Seriously, Manly Rash: http://www.manlyrash.com/blog/
Scruffy_The_Janitor: Ron Paul/Ralph Furley 2012
“I voted bachman shes on the border between becoming a neo-con or a libertarian….If Dr.Paul could just talk to her a little more. She’s very intelligent and likeable compared to Sarah Palin. Palin is just something nice to look at, a distraction for the American Drunk [aka Wonkette reader].”
Napoleon. Bonapart or Dynamite, whichevs.
I’ve got to go with the reanimated corpse of Barry Goldwater.
El Pinche: Timely. Did you see where Corsi’s accused the Ft Hood shooter of “advising” Obama? What a dick.
JMP: I say go for Lex Luthor …he was president of the usa once…maybe he’s learned his lesson.
I say Zorro. I like the signs: Paul-Z
Charles Manson isn’t too busy these days.
proudgrampa: That really pissed me off. You know FoxNews will run with it, too.
El Pinche: I see the convention being held at the Regal Beagle.
I think Randrew Napaulitano!
Glad to see they’re gathering behind Peter Schiff, who’s currently getting about 2% in the GOP primary polls in Conn. He’s already polling well within Paul territory.
Mr Blifil: Your suggestion (Paul/the Blimp 2012!) is indeed to “out there,” not serious, and is in fact an attempt to ridicule the Ron Paul candidacy.
Consider it heartily seconded.
I choose Mayor Quimby because he’s well known, and fictional.
Lemme think, needs to be an old, crazy to the bone. . .and have a uterus of some kind. . .PEGGINGTON!
I don’t understand how you people can make a big joke out of this.
It’s serious business - we’re talking about deciding which person will be a heartbeat away from the presidency!
Paul/Palin would never work, because of course she thinks it should be Palin/Paul. Or Palin/somebody. It doesn’t really matter who “somebody” is, because what does the vice president do, again?
Next Great Pwndit: Ummm, Ron Paul/Nancy Grace?
I’m torn between Oxendine and Lemmiewinks.
OK, I’m going with Dauber from “Coach.”
Or Mitt Romney. Same difference
imissopus: Shatner? I barely knew her.
What a rip. I was going to write in Rue Paul, but never found a place to specify “other.” Oddly, none of my suggestions made it to the top 5–although Jesse Ventura scored pretty well.
Wanna whole lotta reEVOLution? Then choose John Paul Jones!
1. Ron Paul/John Paul has a really catchy ring to it.
2. He would appeal to the bass.
3. He already knows his way around a zeppelin.
Way down inside…America…you need…rEVOLution…
Oooooohh yeaahhh!
Who is Rand Paul? Is that like Pon Raul?
Extemporanus: It’s really hard to type “rEVOLution”.
Extemporanus: He would appeal to the bass.
Jesus hates you with a wild-eyed kind of Manson-like passion.
Sacha Baron Cohen?
How about Mrs. Paul. I just love her fish sticks.
samsuncle: Paul / Paul 2012. And thanks for all the fish!
Mustang: Back in the early ’60’s when Ron had a fling with Ayn, they produced Rand.
To balance the ticket, I think Paul needs an actual living, breathing fascist.
Tom Delay’s free.
OMG, everybody vote Rand! That would be soooooo adorable!
samsuncle: She would appeal to the bass.
Smoke Filled Roommate: We would not be worthy of such a superior being.
Harold Stassen! He’s probably still available. Even if he’s dead, I’m sure he’d do it.
No Norris on the list - he clearly is headed in the wrong direction. And as such, I’m going to call it, Ron Paul will loose the next election if he runs.
Lou Dobbs?
Someone really religious and loves guns… Nidal M. Hasan. Too soon?
Extemporanus: #2–Not so much, actually.
John McCain. Both of them would croak and Nancy Pelosi would be prez.
SmutBoffin: “Some of the choices are laughable like Glen Beck. I think a serious choice would be James Traficant.” Also.
Some candidates:
- That thing on Donald Trump’s head.
- Ruth Madoff
- The Subway Guy
- A resurrected and re-animated Michael Jackson
- Simon Cowell
- The Geico Gecco or Flo from Allstate
- The Ghost of Robert Novak
- The Super Soldier they are secretly growing in the bowels of the Pentagon.
- Cheney-bot
- Levi Johnston and so much more…
Why can I vote for 5? Does he need 5 VPs because he is so god-like?
Alan Greenspan. Oh wait, he’s denounced and rejected Ayn Rand now