So that horrific killing spree put a real damper on the day’s comedy prospects, although we’re sure Wolf Blitzer’s trying his inadvertent best to make us all laugh again. But know that before the sadness in Texas, God painted the teabaggers a rainbow. And then someone in an office took a picture of the Teabaggers’ Rainbow and e-mailed it to K-Lo, the end. [The Corner]

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  1. Actually, the rainbow was God’s promise never again to do something as horrific as flood the entire Earth. So maybe this rainbow is actually God saying, “Relax. These people won’t be coming back.”

  2. K-Lo could have waddled right over to the end of the rainbow to grab the Pot O’Gold if her disgusting blubberhead wasn’t stuck in a pot of Marshmallow Creme.

  3. Ah yes, the old “it must be a miracle because it will make me feel better about this fairy tale I have to fool myself into believing”.
    And what comrade said.
    Also, it is more evidence the planet is cooling not warming, trust me, I took a semester of meteorology in 1978.

  4. According to the NRA, if everyone were carrying a weapon, there would be no killings.
    This just goes to prove that irrevocable fact.
    If everyone who was at Ft. Hood today had had a weapon,……


    Everyone HAD a weapon, and still people were shot by a crazy guy.
    Maybe they just needed bigger weapons.
    Yeah, that will solve everything.

  5. What’s even more inspiring is the way the rainbow describes the precise arc of Meghan McCain’s right boob as it plunges below the neckline.

  6. [re=451800]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: I should add that D.C. narrowly escaped tragedy today.

    When those things snap, they’ve been known to take out entire neighborhoods.

    Nanoo nan…NOOOOOOO!

  7. How amazing, I was walking my dog today and saw the rainbow at the exact time she was taking a giant shit on my neighbor’s lawn. I took it as a sign I didn’t have to clean it up. Whoops….

  8. So we’re going to say that a rainbow over the teabaggers was God’s work, but he had nothing to do with Fort Hood, that was just human choice. I guess he was too busy making that rainbow to give KLo a happy feeling that he couldn’t be bothered to spend time doing anything else, like maybe stopping the Texas massacre.

    You know, it really is too bad that Texas had too many of those socialist programs like police and EMTs and the FBI and state troopers. I’m so glad the teabaggers were protesting those damn socialist programs, making sure they don’t hurt anyway.

  9. [re=451820]Another DC Lawyer (Again)[/re]: Why is it when you’re walking your dog and he goes to town on someone else’s yard it’s always a pile bigger than Billy Crystal?

  10. [re=451836]Scruffy_The_Janitor[/re]: CLEAN OUR ROOM!!!!!!

    I found the scat solo in the middle of our duet to be quite moving, though I do have a tendency to wear my shart on my sleeve.

  11. [re=451770]house of the blue lights[/re]: That is so sweet. And they shared it with the sanctified brethren and sisthren. The gays are a big-hearted people.

  12. [re=451798]Pithaughn[/re]: “I took a semester of meteorology in 1978.”

    You’re qualified for a spot as Jim Inhofe’s aide and spokesperson on climate change, since you know more than any of the dickwads he’s hired. Ever have a yen to work for a wholly owned subsidiary of the energy companies? ‘Cuz this is your big chance. If you make it as far as Tulsa, let me know and I’ll come over and buy you lunch. Or let Chesapeake Energy buy lunch for both of us, as is the practice for the assholes who work for Inhofe.

  13. [re=451855]Jim89048[/re]: So you’re saying the Christian god couldn’t do shit to stop the unchristian muslin god, so he sort of threw the rainbow up over the teabaggers to say “meh, I tried, good enough, time to go drink?”

    Wow, that’s certainly inspiring. I want to put MY faith in a god with the power to put up a rainbow… and not do shit else.

  14. Apparently the spree killer had a funny foreign name (muslin…msnbc and fox have already labeled him so). This weekend, the Rainbow of Hate will arc over all wingnut and conservatard sites.

  15. [re=451848]user-of-owls[/re]: You’re right. I started missing Princess Sparkle Pony the minute Michelle became addicted to that unattractive wide black belt. She even wears it when she’s GARDENING, for God’s sake. Perhaps implementing a Belt Alert would help the Princess overcome her grief at losing Condi.

  16. [re=451874]El Pinche[/re]: A funny foreign name, devout and pious Muslim according to a cousin who spoke to ABC, AND a Virginia Tech graduate. That school really has some PR problems.

  17. Luke 13:12. And on the eighth day God began making K-Lo. He spake, “Blessed art thou of high mass and volume for the kingdom of Earth doth move in your gravitational field”. But as he toiled, God wept for he had run out of spare ribs and clay from whence he would complete her. So he left her ill formed and hungry. And she began to devour the very earth itself.

    I should really lay off the meth…

  18. K-Lo’s overindulgent mommy sang this mangled version to baby K-Lo, which might go some way toward explaining her adult girth.

    Somewhere, over the rainbow, chickens fry
    There’s a lard that I heard of once in a lullaby
    Somewhere, over the rainbow, pies are blue
    And the birds that you dare to fry
    Really do fry true

    Somewhere, over the rainbow, bluebird pie
    Birds fry over the rainbow,
    Fry then, oh, fry and fry

    If happy little chickens fry beyond the rainbow,
    Why, oh, why can’t…pie?

  19. [re=451809]RobPetrified[/re]: Well said.

    After the Virginia Tech shootings the NRA/gun nut propagandists put 180 degrees of spin on the tragedy. “Arm the Co-eds” was their despicable response. Other than being a good name for a band, this is what we can expect. Only this time it happened in Obama’s America.

  20. And at the end of that rainbow was a local DC franchise of “Curves,” a gymnasium for fat ladies. Fat, sad ladies who have no friends who drown their sorrows in Reeses pieces while hugging their portrait of Ronald Reagan’s grinning corpse.

    It was a sign to K-Lo to go work out.

  21. You know, I don’t think we should make fun of her for being a bit overweight. Lots of people are, and her weight has nothing to do with her political beliefs.

    Making fun of her for being an ill-informed, sanctimonious, hypocritical, hateful nitwit? I’m totally down with that.

  22. The Christian god had a choice of a rainbow to amuse the retards or saving the folks at Fort Hood. Which seems like a pretty good endorsement for Satan to me.

  23. [re=451922]kinginyellow[/re]: The teabaggers are idiots, but just for pop culture’s sake, that still isn’t from a Disney film, that’s Daffy Duck’s body under the President’s face and I believe the still comes from a famous Warner Bros. cartoon called, “Ali Baba Bunny.”

    Chuck Jones didn’t not like Republicans and them effing with one of the 50 greatest cartoons of all time wouldn’t make Chuck any happier.

  24. Sounds like the U.S. Army needs to either institute strict gun control measures or dose all it’s Islamo-nut shrinks with 400mg of Chlorpromazine at reveille… But the rainbow was pretty.

  25. [re=451927]shadowMark[/re]: Sorry, I meant to type: “Chuck Jones did not like Republicans and them effing with one of the 50 greatest cartoons of all time wouldn’t make Chuck any happier.”

  26. [re=451922]kinginyellow[/re]: Ha! I went there to fuck with the wingtards & it looks like I must have posted something objectionable in the past, as my posting privileges have been revoked.

    Instead, I guess I’ll read my copy of the constitution, or preamble to the declaration of independence, or whatever, UNDER GODdammit!

  27. Rachel Madow showed the counter to this. When Mark Levin addressed the Teabaggers, the American Flag proudly tried to commit suicide and threw itself to the ground.

  28. Looks like Major Spree Killer lived. This should be inneresting. Seeing how they’re in Texas & he has Muslin roots in Jordan, we can expect a lynch mob to gather at the hospital, whenever they find out which hospital he’s in. As others have pointed out, this is obviously Obama’s fault. We just have to wait for the wingtards to tell us how, exactly.

  29. [re=451882]imissopus[/re]: Yeah, Virginia Tech again; bang-bang. I used to work in P.R. and I’ve been thinking of this particular image problem OPPORTUNITY for awhile now.

    So far, all I can come with is, “Virginia Tech: It’s Shootier!”

    How’m I doing?

  30. [re=451947]kinginyellow[/re]: Did you also know, that when he was a little kid, Chuck Jones had a pet cat that would swim in the freaking ocean with him.

    The Pacific, to be specific. How unbelievably awesome is that?

  31. [re=451942]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: In the interest of being succinct, let me recap Mark “the Great One (Tooth Abscess)” Levin’s comments: “Liberty and freedom, the Constitution, Founding Fathers and you are all Patriots..and Paul Reveres. Freedom, liberty and tyranny. Obama/Pelosi/Reid = Marxists. Fat, white people who are afraid of diversity and only can look backwards, this is about freedom. We need to stand up for our liberty and we all know Saul Alinsky is in the White House.
    So fight these liberty and freedom hating Libs”. Rinse, repeat, add a little crescendo/decrescendo. You betchya.
    Just guessing.

  32. [re=451918]kentuckienne2[/re]: In case you didn’t notice, one of our beloved editors and most (all?) of our memberbase are pleasantly plump. Doesn’t mean we still don’t rip on people for it. I make fun of gingers all the time and my hair is red as the Campbell’s can. Comedy and hypocrisy live side by side.

  33. I guess it’s settled.

    God doesn’t want poor people to have healthcare.

    I guess all that “love thy neighbor” stuff was was wrong, and we should all convert to the Church of Satanism, because clearly the Bible is false.

  34. [re=451882]imissopus[/re]: KILLeen as well. When I was a wee tot, I was across the street when that wingnut exercised his 2nd amendment rights at the Lubys.

  35. [re=451874]El Pinche[/re]: Get over yourself, NPR reports Dr. Hasan had been disciplined for proselytizing his religion while stationed in Maryland. If he had been some militia activist nut that’s the way the story would play. If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck…

  36. In the old days “Hey, it’s K-Lo! Come over here and meet Jeff Gannon!”

    Now, it’s more like “Who’s the fat chick eating the decorations at the registration table? Whose turn is it to tell her that it’s not a buffet, and that the flowers aren’t edible?”

  37. And today the Christian God slept in? along with the Wonkette editors?? Where are you guys? Or do you, like some other of us, not know what to say, except that we live in a fucked up world where people of every race and creed think the solution of their problems is to shoot a bunch of random people?

  38. That’s really funny. I guess YHWH is cool with letting people die from lack of health care, whereas Jesus wasn’t, and said that anyone who lets the sick die or doesn’t give aid to the poor is going to Hell.

    Matthew 25:34-46

    Then the King will say to those on His right hand, ‘Come, you blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.’

    “Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You? Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.’ Then He will also say to those on the left hand, ‘Depart from Me, you cursed, into the everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels: for I was hungry and you gave Me no food; I was thirsty and you gave Me no drink; I was a stranger and you did not take Me in, naked and you did not clothe Me, sick and in prison and you did not visit Me.’

    “Then they also will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to You?’ Then He will answer them, saying, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.’ And these will go away into everlasting punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”

  39. [re=451990]plowman[/re]: Yeah, I read about that, and that he yelled , “Allahu Akbar!” before going bonkers. Ok, I guess it’s OK to hate muslins, now.

  40. [re=451996]President Beeblebrox[/re]: You’re reading the wrong bible. You should try the one that the Conservapedia folks are putting together.

    Then the King will say to those on His right hand, ‘Come, you blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: for I was hungry and you told me to “get a job, you loser”; I was thirsty and you pissed on me; I was a stranger and you had me arrested because I “looked like a shifty muslin”; I was naked and you stole my wallet; I was sick and you told me that I should die quickly; I was in prison and you sentenced me to death.’ For I was an olive skinned communist, who was probably a secret muslin, and I wasn’t like you. You shall have my place in Heaven, next to Jonah Goldberg. I’m going to go live in San Diego, and go surfing every morning, instead.

  41. [re=451997]El Pinche[/re]: I’m just hating people with easy access to guns. see, the righties say if you have a gun, you can fight back- but this was a military installation and 40 or 50 people were shot anyway.

  42. [re=452023]finallyhappy[/re]: This is not a productive line of inquiry as apparently the base required all weapons to be locked away. So rather than a senseless act of random violence, this should be seen as a breakdown in procedure.

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