HOORAY!  5:39 pm November 5, 2009

Some Strange Website Is Yelling Mean Things About Your Editor

by Jim Newell

We have been drawn, via our referrals, to some new thing called the Atlantic Wire, which tells you what every pundit and blogger is writing about at all times! It is the anti-porn. But “incoherence” is our goal here, so thank you weird new hyperspeed Atlantic thing! [Atlantic Wire]

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dogscantlookup November 5, 2009 at 5:42 pm

I’ve got a radio in my fingernail car!

shortsshortsshorts November 5, 2009 at 5:42 pm


There’s a reason you were PUMA PIG OF THE WEEK.

ForTheTurnstiles November 5, 2009 at 5:43 pm

Can’t make it out, for the Incoherence.

PsycGirl November 5, 2009 at 5:45 pm

They have a sidebar about Carrie Prejean’s sex tape “The battle between the beauty queen and gay rights advocates hits bottom”
So is it a spanking video then?

Humpback November 5, 2009 at 5:45 pm

Just because THEY don’t understand does not make it incoherent. And the abuse was deserved, I’m sure.

SayItWithWookies November 5, 2009 at 5:46 pm

That was abusive?! They haven’t seen your posts about Sarah Palin.

shadowMark November 5, 2009 at 5:47 pm

Be warned, Jim Newell, abusive bastard, Meghan twittered a couple of days ago:

“Most chicks say ‘if you hurt me, I’ll
die’… I say, ‘if you hurt me, I’ll kick your
ass” – Pat Benatar

problemwithcaring November 5, 2009 at 5:49 pm

Any site that list E.J. Dionne as America’s top opinion maker knows a thing or two about incoherence, Jim. Heed them!

OzoneTom November 5, 2009 at 5:49 pm

That’s the Jim that we know and love.

Aflac Shrugged November 5, 2009 at 5:51 pm

That’ll be the last time Jim Newell throws away a pre-approved, zero-APR-for-the-first-minute Bank of America Visa application.

pampl November 5, 2009 at 5:51 pm

Phew, for a second there was a shortage of reporters reporting about other reporters. Thanks, the Atlantic, for meta-covering this important navel.

Extemporanus November 5, 2009 at 5:52 pm


Words November 5, 2009 at 5:53 pm

How dare they say mean things @ our editor!! Only Wonketteers can say mean things @ Jim Newell!!

Atheist Nun November 5, 2009 at 5:53 pm

“Jim Newell is incoherent and abusive…” a.k.a. Drunk.

qaf November 5, 2009 at 5:56 pm

Forget it, Jim. It’s the Atlantic.

spryte November 5, 2009 at 5:57 pm

Today we are all incoherent and abusive.

Today we are all Jim Newell.

I never wanted to be a ginger, but what the hell…

whenPUMAsattack November 5, 2009 at 6:00 pm

Seriously, who read that as “THE TICKLER” for a few seconds before coming back down…

DustBowlBlues November 5, 2009 at 6:01 pm

Wonkette isn’t anywhere in the top 50, so I don’t think this list has any legitimacy. The ticker thingy was going by, but that’s mostly annoying and I didn’t want to wait to see if Jim came up in incoherence again. This looks like it might be a good device to remind me when I’ve missed Frank Rich, however.

I watched a 30 minute online conference with Linda Feldman of the CS Monitor, so I can skip the rest of this shit.

Wonkette/CSM: Keeping my world balanced between the hyper incoherent and the hyper coherent.

bago November 5, 2009 at 6:06 pm

The word incoherent seems to be coalescing into a coherent wave in that sentence.

ShamWow November 5, 2009 at 6:07 pm

Being called incoherent and abusive by the Atlantic is like finding a shiny new toy in your stocking. Merry Xmas Jim!

Neilist November 5, 2009 at 6:07 pm


W-A-R B-L-O-G!!!!!

We’ll drive those Mutherfudkin’ Swine into the se . . . .

Oh, wait a minute.

It’s “The Atlantic.”

Never mind.

DoctorCulturae November 5, 2009 at 6:11 pm

Incoherent and abusive about incoherent abuse? So, a negative plus a negative equals a positive? That is, coherence? How dare you Jim Newell! Oh the humanity!

magic titty November 5, 2009 at 6:12 pm

Jim Newell is bigger than the INTERNET.

user-of-owls November 5, 2009 at 6:15 pm

[re=451720]Extemporanus[/re]: %t)}^%$k;?!!

user-of-owls November 5, 2009 at 6:17 pm

The fucking “Atlantic Wire”?! Doesn’t Big Marconi realize we can see right through these sham advocacy groups for underwater cables?!

Neilist November 5, 2009 at 6:24 pm

Let’s get the United States Army on The Atlantic. Those folks will shoot ANYBODY . . . .

Tommmcatt November 5, 2009 at 6:24 pm

They don’t mention the MASSIVE THROBBING SEXXXYNESS, though.

Scruffy_The_Janitor November 5, 2009 at 6:24 pm

It’s now clear that Jim Newell owns 100% of the internet’s stock.

house of the blue lights November 5, 2009 at 6:28 pm

Now we know where Jim was this morning.

jagorev November 5, 2009 at 6:31 pm

The Atlantic Wire has WON THE EVENING

travellabyrinth November 5, 2009 at 6:33 pm

To fight the Atlantic, you must be Pacific. Being specific is no substitute for being elastic. In every abuse there is a bus, and every bus backs up into a sub, with which the resourceful captain may chart new depths. Being pacific in his sub-bus of abuse, a continent of elastic discontinuity, whose bounty is unending and ever bending.

Mr Blifil November 5, 2009 at 6:36 pm

I’m not familiar with this “Jim Newell” person, why is he deemed to be so influential with his trenchant invocations of buttsecks all the time?

chascates November 5, 2009 at 6:42 pm

Isn’t the Webby Award for the Best Web-thing coming up? We need to make sure we smack down the opposition. Except for Shorts, that is.

mcc November 5, 2009 at 6:43 pm

Tomorrow: The Atlantic breaks the shocking news that The Onion has been fabricating interviews for their stories

El Pinche November 5, 2009 at 6:47 pm

Reply back with an equally abusive youtube response. Grow a double chin and say , “No, you don’t.”

rocktonsammy November 5, 2009 at 6:49 pm

May be this is an intervention.

user-of-owls November 5, 2009 at 7:16 pm

[re=451792]Mr Blifil[/re]: He is aware of all internet traditions.

shortsshortsshorts November 5, 2009 at 7:20 pm

[re=451802]chascates[/re]: GIMME YER NOMNOMNOMINATION, alls ya.

DustBowlBlues November 5, 2009 at 7:39 pm

[re=451788]travellabyrinth[/re]: Reading your comments gave me a headache, but I think they were brilliant, anyway.

Pass the aspirin.

Jukesgrrl November 5, 2009 at 8:16 pm

Dear AtlanticWhatever, If Jim Newell can’t be incoherent and abusive at Wonkette, what would be the appropriate venue? Surely you don’t expect him to hold it in? Inquisitively, Jukesgrrl

el donaldo November 5, 2009 at 8:20 pm


they’re also accusing you of going a little over the top in the election liveblogging.

Oldskool November 5, 2009 at 8:49 pm

They need to make up their mind. I don’t think you can be one of “the most influential opinion makers” and “incoherent” at the same time. Can you? I’m pretty sure Republicans put that one to rest years ago.

Pat Pending November 5, 2009 at 9:10 pm

isn’t is better to be incoherent and abusive, than, say incontinent and abusive?

proudgrampa November 5, 2009 at 9:14 pm

Oh. Who freakin’ cares?

I still loves ya, Jim.

Hunger Tallest Palin November 5, 2009 at 9:24 pm

Tell Sully to StFu already.

Lionel Hutz Esq. November 5, 2009 at 9:37 pm

Since when has “abusive” been a synonym for “intoxicated.”

Lionel Hutz Esq. November 5, 2009 at 11:40 pm

[re=451907]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: I mean outside of the South.

Lascauxcaveman November 6, 2009 at 12:35 am

“Incoherent.” – Michael Medved, Newsday

“Abusive.” – Rex Reed, Variety

“Incoherent and Abusive.” – The Ticker, The Atlantic

“I think he may have been trying to be abusive, but his incoherence made it difficult to say.” – Oscar Wilde, Punch

Lionel Hutz Esq. November 6, 2009 at 3:19 am

[re=451962]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: You know, I refuse to read anything now days unless there is a pull quote from Punch.

blargh November 6, 2009 at 11:32 pm

[re=451788]travellabyrinth[/re]: I’m lovin’ it.

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