At Least Everyone Can Agree It Will Be Nice To Have Football On At Bars Again!

  daily briefing
  • Last night the Yankees baseball team won the competition that determines the best baseball team of all the other baseball teams! [New York Times]
  • 600 UN staffers in Afghanistan will leave the country for a few weeks while the UN works to find them housing that will be harder to blow up. [Washington Post]
  • Hurricane Ida is currently in the midst of hitting Nicaragua. It’s expected to bring with it 25 inches of rain, mudslides, all the tradition hurricane accoutrement, etc. [CNN]
  • Exxon Mobil and Shell have won the World Series of receiving the rights to oil fields in southern Iraq! The Phillies did not win this either. [WSJ]
  • Cash bonuses on Wall Street will be up 40% this year. [Reuters]
  • Later this week, Toyota will be sending out a drivers’ mat recall, as the acceleration pedal can get caught in drivers’ mats in certain models. [Los Angeles Times]
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About the author

Juli Weiner was Wonkette's beloved intern and books columnist and then morning editor until she was hired away by Vanity Fair in 2010.

View all articles by Juli Weiner

Hola wonkerados.

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42 comments

  1. angelove

    That’s great. I like football and make friends who have the same interest with me on diamondsingle.com. It’s very cool.

  2. ManchuCandidate

    [re=450835]angelove[/re]:
    Only 1 diamond whores? Pass. I prefer at least two diamonds.

    So long spammer.

  3. BeWoot

    Will Intern Riley be available today to cover the “thousands” of “people” who will be pouring into Washington to day to tell the “Congress critters” to send health care reform “to the death panels (that’s section 1233 in the original bill)”? Apparently Michele Bachman, joined now by Mark Levin and the mighty Red State have summoned true believers to bring their pitchforks, torches and sweet reason to show Congress exactly what real Americans look like on a weekday. Pictures and a head count would be greatly appreciated …

  4. ManchuCandidate

    [re=450839]BeWoot[/re]:
    Doesn’t Riley suffer enough having to read Malkin et al everyday so we don’t have to?

    I’ve seen enough photos of the “tru” believers to know the poor kid is going to have to deal with waves of fat, sweat and stupid.

  5. disgustedcitizen

    I’ll be willing to bet that there are a couple of Cuba pick up teams that could wax the NY Yankees.

  6. the problem child

    Sounds dangerous, Toyota. Also you, Ida.
    But probably neither is as dangerous as being an international worker in Afghanistan.

    More guns are clearly needed, for self-defense.

  7. Formerly Preferred

    Clearly, the answer is sending hurricane relief to the oil fields in Southern Iraq. Also, we should mine the harbor in Kabul to make sure no hurricanes sneak in there.

    The floor mat thing finally adds at least the possibility of driving excitement to the Toyota line.

  8. BeWoot

    [re=450842]ManchuCandidate[/re]: That is heroic duty, you’re right. Maybe Sarah would enjoy a day out of the house. But I’m so curious about how many, if any, fat-sweat-stupid carriers will respond to Michele’s and Erick ibn Erick’s clarion call.

    p.s. Fuck the Yankees.

  9. WarAndG

    Good baseball is over. Now ESPN can cover Michelle Bachmann’s Teabagging Super Bowel of Freedom For Corporate Healthcare and Jebus Cavalcade of Wing-Nut Bat Shit Loonballery (TM).

  10. Toomush Infermashun

    Don’t misunderestimate the Idiocracy…maybe those Teabaggers will run into some of the Indian Nations Obama’s bringing in to redirect the economy more toward a full-fledged government casino today…scalps, anyone…?

  11. 4tehlulz

    Anyone know the over-under on guns brought by teabaggers to this event? My employer blocks gambling sites.

  12. user-of-owls

    [re=450851]PoliticalGraffiti[/re]:

    1. Evacuate the aid workers and coastal Nicas.

    2. Give half the Yankees a one-way ticket to Kabul, the other half get a one-way to Managua.

    3. Pareto Optimality!!

  13. freakishlystrong

    [re=450861]TGY[/re]: You mean it wasn’t going to be a to-the-death cage match? What good was it then?

  14. AfghanVet

    Ahhh…and Big Oil finance departments celebrate as there spreadsheets showing the potential profitability of supporting Dick’s war pays off! Too bad they will get in and start pumping just as we are leaving and it will all be blown up. Shock Doctrine indeed.

  15. Come here a minute

    I’m pretty sure it is just going to be hockey in bars; I haven’t heard anything about football. Maybe they canceled the season this year? Go Caps!

  16. Servo

    I say we adopt the Japanese pay standard – the ratio between the highest and lowest paid employees within a company is fixed.

  17. pub_option

    Yankees win (BOO). Matsui as MVP, does this make him Mr. November – or as one on-line translator delivered – Juuichigatsu San.

  18. Mild Midwesterner

    Wait a sec… So they finally figured out a way to make a Toyota accelerate quickly and now they’re recalling it?

  19. DemmeFatale

    Oh, thank God baseball is over!
    Now we can focus on things like the dreary economy, and how everyone is disappointed in Obama.
    Yay!

  20. Mr Blifil

    [re=450879]pub_option[/re]: I don’t think Matsui is even American. I’d settle for “born in Hawaii” but wtf?

  21. JMP

    [re=450851]PoliticalGraffiti[/re]: Yes, fuck them very, very much.

    [re=450879]pub_option[/re]: That was a mistake – Brad Lidge should have been the Yanks’ MVP. Ugh. How could he be so good last year, and suck so bad this year?

  22. RoscoePColtraine

    But if you stick your floor mat behind the brake pedal, it should balance out the problem with the acceleration pedal. Problem solved.

  23. Jim89048

    So once again we have a “World” Series and forgot to invite the world. OK, I get it. Coalition of the willing, or something. However, my last box of Dominican cigars contained both a pitcher and a designated hitter, so there is that.

  24. DemmeFatale

    [re=450909]proudgrampa[/re]: I guess people want to fuck them because they’re smokin’ hot, and because they’re winners.

    (Yeah, I went there.)

  25. gossipgirl

    [re=450884]forgracie[/re]: Oh, it’s supposedly very true. Apparently, she’s alone, and doing something “too graphic for TMZ”. Wowzer.

    [re=450927]DemmeFatale[/re]: Boo yah. Agreed, and screw all the haters!

  26. gossipgirl

    [re=450940]Jim89048[/re]: Given that it was too graphic for TMZ – I’m guessing she had some, er, props…

  27. WadISay

    Now at least we know the answer to the question, can anyone beat a plucky little team with a whole lot of heart and a half billion freaking dollars?

  28. momus

    Hurricanes never cause mud slides in Florida! Those in Nicaragua must be the wrath of Hey Zeus (sp), he’s upset with the commies, there.

  29. CaiteeCruelle

    [re=451092]momus[/re]: “Lift thine eyes, o lift thine eyes, (to) to the mountains whence cometh, whence cometh, whence cometh hel–” *glurgle*

Comments are closed.