Wonkette
NOT FOR EPILEPTICS. If you care about elitist “context” (BOOOO!), Gizmodo can give you context. [Gizmodo]
WEDNESDAY FUN VIDEO
Oh Look, It’s The Best Video Ever Made, That’s Kind Of Cool
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4:30 PM
on Wed November 4 2009
By
Jim Newell
2593 Views
Damn, this makes my Meghan fantasies seemed as dated as an old “Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea” episode.
terrifying.
This is so boss.
Holy shit. Well, this goes up there with All Your Base Belong to Us in the “are all Japanese really this bizarre or are they just fucking with us?” Hall of Fame.
and who needs context? It is a lot better without.
Isn’t this the trailer for the series where Paula Abdul stomps Tokyo flat?
Now I know that “Skrrrrreeeeeyeeeeeee-YONK” is Godzilla-speak for “Get off my lawn!”
Needs more Blingee.
Doglessliberal: All You Base Are Belong To Us. Sorry, I am a moron and typed that wrong.
onemoresexylibrarian: ooh, the Sarah Palin dancing penises would be great!
my favorite part is the segway
Now I know what Alvin and the Chipmunks have been up to. And I wish I didn’t know what Putin and Li’l Kim were up to.
jetjaguar: Nonsense - the best part is the magic death rays shooting from the Pope’s hands. Real wrath of God stuff, right there.
Imagine the mass suicides that would occur if we were to be colonized by Japan.
Doglessliberal: It really is All your base are belong to us.
The proper context is: Japan! Nothing more, nothing less.
Noonan: McCain would find a way to compromise with them.
Donde esta las hijas de Zapatero?
Pope got more play than I figured a Japanese video targeting kids would give him. Why does Hillary keep saying “we tax everything that moves, and everything that doesn’t”? I think the Japanese crazy kids are quoting her out of context, which is a shame as idiot video games should be a learning experience, like the Civ games.
But…but…I thought the President was *my* boyfriend!
I’d recognize a MR. SPARKLE production anywhere.
http://tinyurl.com/mRspARkle
I tried watching it with “America Fuck Yeah” playing in the background. It’s a little dissonant with so much judo-garbed, Kim Jong-Il-kissing Putin floating in there, but the recurring Hillary Death Mask always landed on the right notes.
Whoa.
Has the room stopped moving yet?
What, no Sarko?
Paul Tardy: Eh… no, it’s not targeting kids. It’s porn, of the “If I could draw like that I’d never leave the house” variety.
I’m afraid to watch, but I can only assume that droplet of liquid on Bill Clinton is from Hillary sitting on his face.
I wanna party with the dude at 0:54!!!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Wonkette. The context is important here. The Japanese seem to have invented a video game wherein the goal is to schtup the President. This is obviously the greatest technological achievement of the 21st century. And it’s why we need to teach the youngs more math & science, so that they can reach this level of creative uselessness. We have much to learn from the Japanese.
assistant/atlas: Unfortunately, the context is that we’re watching a (brilliant) parody of the actual porn game “My Girlfriend Is President.” No actual politicians/tyrants were harmed in the making of that game, only drawings of full-figured middle school students.
Whatever, it’s not half as blinky as my kid’s Baby Einstein collection.
WIDTAP: The Emperor Palpatine-style lightning bolts shooting from Pope Ratzo’s fingers win it for me too.
The best part is around the 2 minute mark when the Pope goes all lightning from his hands like the Emporer. I knew I saw that dude before.
For the most subtly hilarious thing, I’m voting for the brief moment where Vladimir Putin appears on a Magic: The Gathering card at 1:07. But it’s hard to resist the impish, smirking Medvedev at 1:03.
Why is Bo the Portuguese Water Dog white?
The book was a lot better.
couchbound: I wondered the same thing. It reminds me of this
Josh Fruhlinger: Josh Fruhlinger:
Exactly. His 5/5 flying stats are pretty accurate, too.
The pope is MY boyfriend
I’ve played this game, and it’s way harder than it looks. To get the “best” ending, not only do you have to have sex with all the other presidents, you have to keep Silvio Berlusconi from having sex with you.
One hint: every time Putin offers you a judo lesson, say yes.
Curious fact: all Japanese pop music is Tom Petty at 10x speed.
I found this educational. I now know, for example, that Putin is absolutely smoldering in a plunging V-neck and the prime minister of Japan has a rectangular anus.
Dammit! Where’s the karaoke and Engtard subtitles?!
Is the blue sweatdrop intended to communicate that they have much to hide, and Hillary is the bean(seed)-spilling loon?
No translation? How can this be THE DC GOSSIP! I would provide for the German and suomen kieli…
Glenn Beck’s going to complain that he wasn’t in it, as he’s the leader of the Real Americans™.
Cool. So, was I the only one privy to “Obama-kun and Hilary-chan” during the elections?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xrLCNx3hZXM
I think Yoko Ono finally has a hit with this one!
DoctorCulturae: It’s true! For maximum effect, listen to Tom Petty at high speeds while hopped up on shrimp paste.
Paul Tardy: Japanese erotic video games target kids??
Min: Ha!
Mahousu: Sadly, I actually got that joke.
What happens if you play this backwards?
I think it’s supposed to be a theme song for a “Road Rules”-based reality show featuring various world leaders. I’m not sure, though. I only caught it half-way through when Hu Jintao was berating Hamid Karzai for like being a total douche and eating the last piece of cake he was saving for dinner.
I laughed quite a lot at the ニダーーーーーーーーー！ above Kim Jong Il. Probably just me.
TVarmy: “My Boyfriend is Glenn Beck’s Appendix”
too soon?
Thankfully, using my monolingual skills of video interpretation, I was able to recognize that this is actually a Japanese remake of Inglourious Basterds…
hoosiermama: Sleeves: The song is “Rocket Love Panic,” and, well, I’m afraid you’d be kind of disappointed by the lyrics. It’s one of those generic “whenever I’m down, you cheer me up” songs.
Groovy man.
This kind of H-Game is to wingnuttz as what “Taimanin Asagi” is to seemingly well-adjusted human males.
Needs m0ar tentacles.
Also.
Great Old Ones Party: Needs more Sailor Moon.
I’m completely confused, here. What is this?
Pajamas Putin is almost Wayne Newton in this one, sloppy smooch and all, but Sec. of State Cruella Clinton steals the vid, which is like an entire Disney show on meth (instead of just the child actors).
It’s like the politicians of the world are one big happy family.
WTF?
Holy mother of god. As someone who reads way too much about politics and watches way too much anime, I’m PRETTY sure I could watch this video every day until I die.
I need help.
That Quentin Tarantino, he sure makes some funny music videos!
It’s good to see Journey writing some new songs, too!
Was that seriously a Vladimir Putin/Baron Sengir Magic: The Gathering card flying by.
All it lacks is Meghan McCain’s hefty decallotage.
BTW guys, I don’t know what the Japanese characters say, but I can translate the Russian parts.
The word that looks like “ypa” means “hurray”, and the word that looks like “oroHb” when the tank shows up means “fire”. But not the verb “fire” as in “fire at will”, the noun “fire” as in “put out that fire”.
And then at the end when Putin’s in a gi, it says “Learn Judo” or “We Learn Judo” and then some form of Putin’s name below it. “Vladimiram Putinim”.
Godot: Thanks for the your expertise, Godot.
Gosh, no game Nihongo readers for Wonkette…
Thanks for really a good and funny video……….http://bit.ly/17Byas