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Joe Wilson Goes All ‘Dictionary’ On Obama

Frothy shoutmonger Joe Wilson is a man of few words — as in, he only knows a few words in the entire English language. But he’s working on it!

You know, I’m really disappointed, and I actually agree with Vice President Cheney that the President is dithering. And I actually had to look up what “dithering” meant, and it’s “indecisive.” And that’s what the President is being.

And then he had to look up “indecisive,” but that was a dead end, so he tried to judge “dithering” by context, but that required looking up “judge” and “context,” and the whole thing was just a catastrophe… but more war, yes, is the point.

[Think Progress]


3:52 PM on Wed November 4 2009
By Jim Newell
3737 Views

  1. iwillsavethispatient says at 4:00 pm, November 4th, 2009

    Surely a basic knowledge of the word “dithering” should be a minimum requirement for a Congressman or Senator? Or is it only me and Cheney that use the word?

    Wilson should also go and look up the word “lie”. Perhaps it was all a great misunderstanding on his behalf!

  2. Come here a minute says at 4:00 pm, November 4th, 2009

    Dithering is intentionally applying noise to randomize quantization error.

  3. MLHencken says at 4:00 pm, November 4th, 2009

    Wait, Joe Wilson used socialist reference material? Is that allowed?

  4. vladster says at 4:01 pm, November 4th, 2009

    I believe the great Doctor, Samuel Johnson defined dithering as” the act of shooting one’s attorney in the face, waterboarding people for fun, lying to your country, and having a perpetual sneer on your face.” So Cheney was talking about himself…and Joe Wilson.

  5. Atheist Nun says at 4:01 pm, November 4th, 2009

    Joe Wilson: Please look up “gullible asshole” in the dictionary. There, you will find your own image printed alongside the definition.

  6. Barry White Zombie says at 4:03 pm, November 4th, 2009

    Joe recently looked up “ass” and “elbow” in an anatomy textbook, and damned if he wasn’t surprised by what he learned.

  7. SayItWithWookies says at 4:04 pm, November 4th, 2009

    Did he really not know what dithering meant, or is he just being a populist ignoramus poseur? Glenn Beck does that on his radio show, too — the best example being some commercial for Haagen Dasz or something where he admits he’s not a rocket scientist and therefore doesn’t know anything about how ice cream is made.
    Knowledge, as we know, is for liberal elitists — those sorts of people who live in New York City (or at least live in Connecticutt and commute to NYC) and broadcast their views to legions of slavishly adoring fans. But not Glenn Beck.

  8. Wilson is a true REAL MURRKIN, he don’t no none of them fancy big wurds those leetest college-goers use.

  9. hobospacejunkie says at 4:06 pm, November 4th, 2009

    “Hello God’s America. My name is Joe Wilson and I am dumber than a box of rocks — and not afraid to say so on teevee, or wherever!”

  10. Snarkalicious says at 4:06 pm, November 4th, 2009

    Diddling.

  11. PrairiePossum says at 4:09 pm, November 4th, 2009

    Dictionaries are tools of Yankee Aggression. I thought South Carolinians burned all their books a century ago.

  12. Extemporanus says at 4:11 pm, November 4th, 2009

    YOU PALTER!

  13. AnnieGetYourFun says at 4:13 pm, November 4th, 2009

    He probably thought that dithering was that thing that if you do it too much, you go blind.

  14. MLHencken says at 4:13 pm, November 4th, 2009

    Come here a minute: “Quantizing is frightening” - Front 242

  15. Scruffy_The_Janitor says at 4:13 pm, November 4th, 2009

    any word on whether he looked up “dumbass”?

  16. gurukalehuru says at 4:15 pm, November 4th, 2009

    You’re blathering, Joe. Look it up.

  17. ManchuCandidate says at 4:16 pm, November 4th, 2009

    Joe Wilson’s first thought: “Why did Dick Shun Harry?”

  18. Sounds like Xanax under moderate compression.

  19. Carrie_Okie says at 4:17 pm, November 4th, 2009

    Come here a minute: only if you dither up. I dither down. From 24 bit to 16 so’s my awesome can be played on those newfangled compact disques Sony is talking about. 44.1killa hurtz!

  20. Uncle Joe says at 4:18 pm, November 4th, 2009

    Rhymes with blithering.

  21. gurukalehuru says at 4:21 pm, November 4th, 2009

    So I see the deathmatch between Bubba and the Chimp has been canceled, due to extreme mockery.

  22. sarcasticusername says at 4:22 pm, November 4th, 2009

    joe “you lie” wilson thinks obama is wrong for whatever he is or isn’t doing…well color me surprised. how did politico not win the morning with their in depth analysis of this game changing revelation? i hope their intrepid reporters weren’t dithering…

  23. PinkyTuscadero says at 4:23 pm, November 4th, 2009

    Before looking it up, he had only a vague notion that dithering was a black term, something like “jockin my swagga” or “ballin.” You can imagine how bemused he was when he heard the Former Vice President use the term. “Dang,” he thought, “that Dick sure must be down.” Yet when he thumbed through his dogeared copy of the Urban Dictionary, it proved unhelpful. He then went to Webster’s where he did indeed discover the word’s meaning. However, since he’d never used Webster’s before, he thought it was a lexicon organized by Emmanuel Lewis. So he still thinks it’s black.

  24. Hey Joe, remember the song “Only Fools Rush In?” Well, Hopey ain’t no fool.

  25. One Yield Regular says at 4:24 pm, November 4th, 2009

    Since he doesn’t understand the simple necessity of civility, order and respect in the world’s greatest deliberative body, it’s hardly surprising that he’d have problems understanding words of more than 3 letters and 1 syllable.

  26. PinkyTuscadero says at 4:26 pm, November 4th, 2009

    Oh yeah. I forgot. And now he tries to drop it casually into every conversation and email he has with Michael Steele. For example, today he said “I’m dithering your juice, Michael.”

  27. drrty martini says at 4:30 pm, November 4th, 2009

    Barry White Zombie: He was surprised - but he STILL can’t tell the difference between them.

  28. binarian says at 4:32 pm, November 4th, 2009

    This guy is a US Congressman and had to look up dithering? Holy shit, they’ll just elect any old dumbass down there.

  29. Come here a minute: HA! geek alert.

  30. P Drizzle says at 4:38 pm, November 4th, 2009

    While he was at it, he tried and failed to find the meaning of his most popular nickname: dumbshitsisterfucker.

  31. germansteel says at 4:39 pm, November 4th, 2009

    Modern Usage 101: Verb To dis, or to diss: Show or express extreme disrespect.
    Adv. Dissering: The act of dissing. Example: He is dissering his mama by calling Vice president Cheney a motherfucker.

    Dithering: Lisped pronounciation of dissering.

  32. C’mon, the guy is from South Carolina! If he has a vocabulary of much more than 2000 words, he loses touch with his constituency voters!

  33. Humpback says at 5:16 pm, November 4th, 2009

    Joe still doesn’t get it. Now, to look all statesman-like and thoughtful, when he is asked his opinion on an issue he has no idea what to say about, he proclaims, “I am dithering.”

  34. Not_So_Much says at 6:05 pm, November 4th, 2009

    I looked up douchenozzle, and there was a picture of Screamin’ Joe.

  35. I bet he looked it up in a Dick-tionary.

  36. Darkness says at 9:53 pm, November 4th, 2009

    Good thing seven years of Bush being distracted does not a dither make.

  37. Can O Whoopass says at 11:43 pm, November 4th, 2009

    Stop diddering my HealthCare, Joe from Kookamo!

  38. flyingspaghettimonster says at 1:20 am, November 5th, 2009

    then he looked up his own actual given name and found out it was almost as gay as “dithering”

  39. LowerdPeninsula says at 3:16 am, November 5th, 2009

    Before his “shoutout” at the president, Joe’s claim to fame was his lack of intelligence, even within his own South Carolinian Republican congressional delegation. And, like most Republicans, he seems pretty proud of this dearth.

  40. disgustedcitizen says at 8:54 am, November 5th, 2009

    “I do not think that word means what you think it means.” Inigo Montoya

  41. comicbookguy says at 12:51 pm, November 5th, 2009

    That’s funny, because after Blow Wilson shouted “YOU LIE!” I had to go look up the word “LIE” in the dictionary. I do not think it means what he thinks it means.

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