Wonkette
So the question is, was she being sarcastic in that parenthetical aside about “variety”?
Probably not — there is one (1) Barbara Walters in there. Otherwise, good golly, look at all of those conservatives. She’s even digging up old Edmund Burke — the “Jonah Goldberg of the 18th Century” — to yell responses to non-existent questions at his dead body. “Yes, Edmund Burke, Trig is indeed 100% awesome, thank you for asking.”
[Facebook via Andrew Sullivan]
Don’t forget Oprah!
We need a snappy slogan for this Republitard tour. Suggestions?
Why don’t we do it in the road?
I didn’t see Katie Couric on that list.
MLHencken: The Bitch to Nowhere.
Well, the Walters interview should hopefully be good. It would be nice to see Barbara reducing the quitter to tears, as she’s known to love to do with her guests, and Palin couldn’t even handle softballs from Couric. The rest, though; man, her ass is going to be soaking wet from all the kisses.
There’s no one who asks really hard questions on that list. Is she scared of Larry King?
No Dennis Prager? She’s clearly not conservative enough for the base.
But she did say she’s “hoping” to interview with Barbara Walters, so if it “doesn’t work out” or “she cancels” then she didn’t quite lie to us, did she?
How about Ghosthunters or QVC?
It’s not like Sarah Palin is an intellectual lightweight who is deathly afraid of being made a fool of (for the umpteenth time) or anything.
Glenn Beck interviewing Sarah Palin is like me putting my mom down as a reference on a job application, but with more crying.
MLHencken: Going Wingtard.
Interviewer must provide documentation of negative STD test result prior to commencement of interview.
MLHencken: If Alice Cooper doesn’t mind, I’d suggest “Billion Dollar Babies.”
Where’s John Zeigler, the poor dating jackass who can’t get enough of the Snowbilly Grifter Quitter? Why has she forsaken him?
What? No Joy Behar? EPIC FAIL.
“…local Alaska personalities Bob and Mark…”? They sound like craptacular morning DJs/parody song writers. This will be the most interesting stop of the tour, however.
MLHencken: No we cunt!
Eddie Burke: Fucktard, or right-wing fucktard?
What will she be wearing? I hope it is an out door interview and she wears a parka, I really like her in a parka.
And remember to give generously to the The Alaska Fund Trust, the official website for the Governor Sarah Palin legal expense fund.
MLHencken: Sucking into Election Night Cornering
A PMS-ing Maddow with Palin would be an interview worth watching.
MLHencken: Something beat, like “On the Choad” or “The Word Whored”.
ManchuCandidate: He’s busy trying to get moderate Repubs to [a href="http://crooksandliars.com/david-neiwert/when-wingnuts-attack-each-other-zieg"]punch him in the face.[/a]
MLHencken: Tardapalooza
(”Variety is the spice of life!)
Hmm. Is that how she appeased poor Todd after he caught her banging his best bro?
Barbara Walters ain’t nothing compared to Bob & Mark. Oh, and Tammy Bruce? does a vanity podcast make you a ‘radio personality’?
MLHencken:
In honor of Thanksgiving - Return of the Great Turkey Massacre
Soon enough she and Todd will have their own VH1 or CMT reality show. Once you go couture, you never go back!
Oh, pick me! Me! I have questions already prepared!!! I am a variety to which you are not yet accustomed.
Hypothetical: how would Palin do on The Kojo Nnamdi show? Would Kojo for once lose his cool?
I’m hoping to have the opportunity to talk with…
How hard can it be, Snowbilly? These slobbering clowns you mention would cut their nuts off for the chance to worship at your sleazy altar. I’m guessing the hold up, as ever, is cold hard $$$.
“Local Alaska personalities?” The most well-known is that Levi Johnston kid, right?
MLHencken:
The Blind Ambition Tour.
J. Robert Oppenheiner: And Charlie Gibson.
Suds McKenzie: The No Longer Ranked Dude’s tour is “Toddapalooza”.
Also, I’ve already reserved “Tardageddon” for a Paul-calypse brought on by Palin’s whoreds. If I can get my hands on some better pain killers, I’ll finish up the promotional posters I created for the big event.
Nice of her to work up a list of assholes for us.
How about a repeat interview with the President of France and his hilarious Canadian morning radio show?
MLHencken: Progressing to Quit. Also.
What’s the over-under on her $19 motivational speaking gig?
No Stephen Colbert? I thought the wingnuts swear he’s one of their own.
Is Greta’s husband still handling her publicity? Is Greta still handling Todd?
What a line-up of softball interviews! That giant sucking sound South of the Border isn’t jobs going to Mexico. It’s the right wingnut gasbags trying to help Sarah Palin peddle her book.
Why not be interviewed by Keith Obermann? Ed Schultz? Heck - Senator Franken?
You betcha!
Good morning Fairbanks, this is Wally and the Animal on KNUB the NOOOOOOOB! *zoink! bong!* We’re here with former Vice Presidential candidate, gubernatorial quitter and all around hottie *loud whistle* SARAH PALIN. Mrs. Palin, are you ready to play ASS OR ARMPIT
A Wasilla Wanker in King Rush’s Court — what’s great is that the more she boosts herself up by staying in her own ideological corner, the further from reality she gets. The wreck at the very end will be something to tell your children about. Or someone else’s children. Or your cats.
I hope she shows up on Letterman’s show — it would give her a chance to line up a great job for Bristol as one of Dave’s assistants.
If variety is the spice of life, Sarah Palin is the saltpeter.
Isn’t there a special prosecutor - or two - who would like to “interview” her?
No Daily Show or Colbert Report?
MLHencken: God, Guns and Cunt-try.
Sarah , Sarah, Sarah, a renowned quitter and proven failure. In about a month, you’ll be wearing now playgirl model Levi Johnson’s albatross cock around your neck.
Speaking of Palin, her favorite stalker and fat head Briebart is talking shit about Sesame Street FoxNews spoofs:
http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/sright/2009/11/03/l-is-for-leftist-thats-good-enough-for-me/
our skoalrebel payed a visit. Let’s see how long his comment stays before Briebart stops masturbating to Palin pics and spots it.
She says she can’t wait to ‘hit the road.’ One can hope.
She left Satan out of that list.
dum librul: I will be laughing at this forever now
MLHencken: Going Roadkill
SayItWithWookies: Wow, weird, I was just reading Mark Twain last night. That exact book, too. I mean, the original one that your reference. Although if you do decide to write A Wasilla Wanker in King Rush’s Court, I will buy it.
“interview” or “fuck”?
SPalin should have a tie-in with these folks, who offered Down Syndrome dolls:
http://web.archive.org/web/20070808220658/downicreations.com/doll-features.html
A limited edition of America’s Special Baby Trig would be more popular than beanie babies.
Just what we need, another Spice Girl. Would that make her Caribou Spice?
I don’t think Beck’s interview of Palin is going to go well, despite their political affinities. Beck is going to start crying about something, and Palin will punch him and tell him to sack up.
Maybe she’ll do the Howard Stern show and he’ll have her ride the sybian.
Min: Bible Spice is the correct nomenclature, I believe.
Wow … Fox News bukkake!
MLHencken:Sarah Does Babble-On?
Howza bout my local Borders?
I’d pay top dollar to see her interviewed by Skoalrebel.
For variety, I suggest Mike Douglas, Dinah Shore, Merv Griffin, and Donny and Marie. But not the Bradys. They’re a bunch of pinko liberals.
I hope someone finally asks her some hard-hitting questions about what really happened to the ugly duckling that wandered onto her farm in Farmville.
Min: Ice Spice, baby.
For our brave troops also, protectin’ our rights.
I’m sure if she were sleeping with them, she’d get a variety, but talking with them? Only in the quality of the reverb in the echo chamber.
For maybe the only time in my life, I actually miss William F. Buckley; or rather, I miss the lost opportunity of being able to see him forced to interview Sarah Palin.
Maybe they can discuss the French Revolution, as that is Burke’s wont. Wait a minute…the reanimated corpse of Burke (how else are they going to get him to interview her) will still be able to discuss the subject more intelligently than Palin. And if Burke is a reanimated corpse, shouldn’t Palin worry about him attacking her? Where’s Jonah with the anti-zombie advice?
comicbookguy: As long as the French “Secretary of State Johnny Hallyday” is part of the interview again.
ForTheTurnstiles: OOOh OOOH - Friday Politics hour with Loose Lips (for all the wrong reasons) from the City Paper!
Minnie Mean: Thats right—Bible Spice or Caribou Barbie
Sorry to disrupt all the snark — but Palin IS doing interviews with Oprah and Baba.
Meanwhile the President and all his boys and girls are running away from Fox News.
Sure, Palin has a book to sell. But Barack has a health care policy to peddle. Right now the book is doing a lot better than the policy.
I think that Oprah should just do what she does best and have a nice, lady to lady talk about kids,pregnancy, motherhood, contraceptives, teen pregnancy, paternity suits, DNA analysis, just what exactly is the deal with Levi anyway, just girl talk, you know.
widestanceromancer: I would pay some SERIOUS money on e-Bay to witness that.slavojzizek: Someone probably tipped them off…
AbeServer: I wouldn’t say “running away from Fox News” more like ignoring them these days - like many of us.
For me, it’s a choice between these fine tour names:
Tardapalooza
Blind Ambition
No We Cunt
What, no interview with Mudflats? Chicken!
El Pinche:
“ANDREW, NEVER MIND THESE GAY ASS LIBRATS , THEY’VE ALL BEEN ALREADY INDOCTRINATED BY MUPPETS (SOCIALIST), COSBY SHOW (RACIST), AND BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY (TREE HUGGIN , CLIMATE CONSIPRATOR LOON) , OH AND THE TELLATUBBIES (GAY!!!). MY KIDS ARE ALL HOMESCHOOLED , GO TO CHURCH, AND ONLY WATCH WAR MOVIES….THINGS RONALD REAGAN SHOULD HAD DONE WITH RON GAY ASS JR. BUT I DIGRESS”
- skoalrebel
According to Levi, she really said, “Yes, Edmund Burke, Trig is indeed 100% RETARDED, thank you for asking.”
SomeNYGuy: WIN!(Unofficial. I stopped reading because that says it all)
AnnieGetYourFun: I’d seriously have to melt my brain before I could write prose like Sarah Palin talks. Then again, she’s not going away anytime soon…hmmm.
AbeServer: And when was the last time either of those two asked a tough question? Wake me up when she goes on Maddow.
AbeServer: No problem. No interruption at all. Sorry, but did you say something relevant in that post? It went by so fast…Jonas Brothers..Carrie Prejean…A conservative that owns a dictionary….your supposed “rational statements” post…..whoosh like the wind!
Let’s see, asshole Republican, asshole Republican, asshole Republican, asshole female Republican, two schlubs in an igloo… where’s the spice again? Or is this “spice” in the heartland sense of some pepper and maybe a little salt but still pretty bland?
El Pinche: Not enuf misspellings.
mardam422: That would be beautiful.
I hope SP brings Trig to those interviews.
Just to take my stare away from her tits.
El Pinche: El Pinche:
also this:
PBS IS FILLED WITH ACORN THUGS. WERE SURROWNDED BY LIBTARDS , SOCAILISTS, AND JAY-Zs. I DUNNO ABOUT YOU FRIENDOS BUT IM HUNKERIN DOWN WITH DUCT TAPE, PLAYDOH, SKOAL APPLE FLAVORRED DIP, BEER, MY GLEN BECK BOOKS, AND MY TRUSTY AR-15. *DIP*
Do I even want to know what he does with the Play-doh?
Get Larry Flynt to interview her!
— So the question is, was she being sarcastic in that parenthetical aside about “variety”? —
No. None is quadruped.
The Word I Heard is that the long time Palin friend and state-paid-for babysitter, Kris Perry has been officially tossed under the bus.
That’s just a rumor that I heard though, please don’t sue me.
Tundra Grifter: In what respect?
Sarah better put in place some ground rules for these interviews. Item one should be: no fapping during the interview. (We’re looking at you Beck, Limbaugh, and O’Reilly.) Item 2 should specify the brand of vibrator O’Reilly is allowed to provide in the green room.
Why isn’t she on TBN? Jan and Paul Crouch and Sarah could all speak in tongues together!
I would love to see her on Pat Robertson or Jack Van Impe talking all about the End Times and our wars.
How about Jello Biafra? THAT would be FUN.
teleken: That, or Henry Rollins.