Wonkette
RedState’s Moe Lane, an apparent male (?!), recorded a very flattering and pithy video message for President Obama, who, you’ll recall, famously lost New Jersey’s gubernatorial election last night. It’s very important that Moe Lane videotaped himself smugly intoning the words “No, you can’t” in what appears to be a sunken house boat because of so many reasons. [RedState]
Was this site surreptitiously bought out by RedState when nobody was looking (i.e. the weekend)?
Me first. No me lost for words.
Mo’ Lame.
Altman and Kurosawa are dead, so who directed this masterpiece?
There it is — conservatives’ message of hope.
No, he can’t:
- Get a date with a real live girl?
- achieve climax without a picture of Palin?
- leave the house wearing anything but grease-stained sweatpants?
Skoal Rebel, part dieux - the northern fucktard.
Moe B. Dick
And Sarah Palin can’t be a congressman from upstate New York…what’s his point?
Not so sure it’s male. I could probably grow that much facial hair if I just let things slide for a few months. OTOH, most RedStaters are not female. Can we just call it an “it” until genital verification is done(in other words, forever).
He’s right, you know. That’s two less Democratic votes in the House of Governors. There’s no way Obama can push through his agenda now.
Can someone check, real quick: is his heart still beating?
If so, the Twinkie Corporation and my attempts at telekinesis have both failed.
There seems to be some confusion. This has nothing at all to do with politics; Mr. Lane is a victim of sexual harassment by legions of women who mistakenly believed he might be interested in them even though he’s a Republican. And this is his manifesto on why, as a gay man, the only honorable course of action is to lead a celibate life.
Either that, or he’s a retard who doesn’t know how to wash his face.
“Neener neener neener” is so damn inspirational.
Is this the new face of the Republican party? He reminds me of Doug Hoffman. Hint: leadership is not inspired by nerdy types who, ashamed of their nerdiness, try to compensate by mocking and beating up other nerds. If you do that, the jocks will beat the crap out of you, and the other nerds won’t feel sorry for you.
I am one of those other nerds who knew a Moe Lane type in high school. He was a conservative then, he’s still a conservative now, and he’s also a 350-pound dance instructor who still can’t get a date with a girl. So I know what I’m talking about.
Moe Lane? More like, SLOW Lane. BURN!!!!1!!
Moe - advice on living outside Mom’s basement. Get a shave. And an adult haircut. Part your hair on the other side, fella, looks gay parted on the right. No, YOUR right, stupid.
MLHencken: Exactly. Clowns like this make it too easy. Surely he has some idea that people around the world are going to see this & think “he never gets laid.”
Jesus Christ, could you at least warn us when this shit is not safe for work?
You know, because of the unrestrained Tourette’s-like swearing it prompts.
Is redstate under contract to provide wonkette with a regular supply of comedy material? Bravo!
….and the other vidios posted in the thread? Asia? Triumph? Stryper? Really? Is all of Red State 20-30 somethings living in the basement of their parents houses unable to get a date?
He needs to have his estrogen levels checked. For real.
Thanks–I was looking for something that I could use at some future time to delay ejaculation. Replaces, fat guy eating warm mayonnaise in the sun.
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! n0bama you just got owned son!
No, you can’t have peace, freedom, justice, prosperity, love and good health. We will stop you. We will always stop you. We hates peace, freedom, justice, prosperity, love and good health. Hates. Hates. Hates.
I am Moe Lane and I approved this message.
“Moe Lane” is the French word for “windmill.”
The fellow in the video appears to be wearing a great deal of Moe Lane Rouge.
hunter.blatherer: Maybe I’m just a simple Luddite, but I just don’t get why: a) anyone would post video of themselves on YouTube, and b) if they insist on doing it, they wouldn’t bother to clean themselves up a bit first.
(Also, what up with that ad for Meg Whitman on RedState?)
From Moe’s blog this morning:
I think that I’m going to go watch the GI Joe movie now.
I wasn’t going to spend twenty bucks to see G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra – fairly or unfairly, the movie struck me as the director’s desire to make a movie about his three or four favorite action figures as a kid – but a buck rental was doable, and done. Besides, today’s the aftermath.
that’s so trenchant
Maybe all these fat wingdouches say “no” all the time because that’s all they ever hear from their wimmin folk.
jetjaguar: “Trenchant” is French for “smells like an open trench.”
One Yield Regular: He should have name the video “Two Chins, One Ass Crack”
ph7: Wow, that’s very very sad.
Moe has bummed me out. How do adults become this way?
Yes.
You cunt.
(Hey, somebody had to.)
gurukalehuru: Well put.
As for Nathan Lane meets Rush Limbaugh - how many times do you think he practiced that in front of his mommy’s bathroom mirror before feverishly running downstairs to his basement lair to record it?
Second question: how many Real Dolls™ does he likely own?
KILL IT WITH FIRE.
Gross, also.
SomeNYGuy: Freedom fries, Freedom Fries! No frenchy talk here.
Way to play up the “chubby unshorn dude in his mother’s basement” blogger stereotype.
norbizness: yeah. enough with the Red State links already. Fuck those guys.
Moe, with zero self-awareness, just updated his blog as follows:
“White House rises to the level of junior high in wake of NYC elections.”
Do I see neckbeard?
Looks like a rugged individualist, to me.
Here’s a flash, Mo’ Better Blues-State: the prez is too busy to give a flying f*ck that you think he can’t. Moron.
ph7: Wow. A stereotype come to life. Who knew they actually existed?
bitchincamaro: I was just about to, you cunt.
In Moe’s defense, he is pretty good as the coroner on True Blood.
However, I wasn’t a fan of his work as “Dr. Phlox” on Star Trek: Enterprise—too much of a smug, Lizard People vibe for my taste.
Son, fat drunk and stupid is no way to go through life…
He has that look that people get when they’ve been addicted to Cheese Whiz for several years. Get help Moe. Get off the Whiz.
The Philly ABC affiliate teased its noon news with this: “Chris Christie gets a stunning win in New Jersey.”
Huh? The guy had been ahead in nearly every poll for six months. The only way there would have been a stunning result is if Daggett had gotten 20 percent of the vote and allowed Corzine to back his way into reelection.
It is un-fucking-real how the media and slapdicks like Jonny Web Cam up there can ignore everything that’s obvious and create some alternative universe where this was somehow shocking and a kick in Obama’s groin.
I’m so frustrated … I’m going to binge buy some Truck Nutz.
Holybalheadedchrist: Wow. That might have just cured me of the need to have sex. Ever.
binarian: All those metal bands are Moe’s reminder of the last time he had a date. And that was with his hand and a bottle of Jergen’s. And yes.
Why is Phillip Seymore Hoffman signing on this caliber of script? He could do way better than this drivel.
Monsieur Grumpe: Come on and ease on down, ease on down the Moe.
I thot Ken Lane always wore sunglasses and was a liberal
Anybody else remember that long-ago website, The Loser Upstairs ? I always figured that guy looked like this guy. But with the gravy stains visible on camera.
do you mean to tell me i turned off the drug-addled head of the republican party radio talkshow comedian rush limbaugh for that silliness???? sheesh!
Why do I feel like he shops at Chico’s?
To be fair this was a video of Moe’s response to my question, “Do you think I can find a more smug, self-satisfied asshole than you?”
Are those tambourines up on the wall?
This has been completely misunderstood. He’s just repeating the words of the last three women he propositioned.
Extemporanus: Oh my. He didn’t just play a Lizard Person—he is one!
“Apparently, I don’t get to watch V tonight.
I don’t have cable, and my digital converter can’t find ABC. And it’s apparently not being simulcast, or whatever the term is. Dammit, I’ll happily sit through the commercials if I could just watch the blessed thing.
Grrr.”
ph7: Dude needs to STFU about the NY mayoral race as he clearly has no idea. In the words of my late, sainted Irish Mother: “Moe, go fuck yourself.
webothlikesoup: maybe Lane Bryant?
Fuckface up there is being very spare in using up his 15 minutes.
hahahahahaa the slowly growing smug grin at the end. i want his life
Min:
You beat me to it. One of those wall hangings on is clearly a tambourine.
****3/4 video
That’s not a “sunken house boat”. That’s his mother’s house. She was out shopping so he snuck up from the basement.
Douchtard says what?
The offers from the womyn will be forthcoming herewith.
“RedState’s Moe Lane, an apparent male[sic]“
A male what?
Why’d he black out his chins?
This guy gives 34 year old virgins who still live with their parents a bad name!
ph7: Oh, really Moe? “The director’s desire to make an action movie about his 3 or 4 favorite actions figures as a kid.”? How witty and urbane. And borderline disdainful (is that a word?). Unfortunately….dumbass…..you made a reference to a 90’s era cartoon GI-Joe-ism a few posts down in the page….”Knowing is half the battle”. Get out of the basement, boy.
The video’s about how “Twilight” fans have ruined San Diego Comicon, right?
he looks like he’s signing off after a 2hr pornfest at juggyteens.com
Mo is such a bottom.
Wow. Diana could do a lot better.
MissM: Second Question? He’s got the whole collection.
kewlguy42069: I want to *end* his life for that smirk.
“Sunken houseboat” was both comical and surprisingly accurate, too.
House boat? I’d say log cabin.
In what respect, Moe?
Fat guys in dimly lit rooms inhabit the intertubez? Shocked.
I wouldn’t tap Larry Craig’s shoe at that, and I’m not very descriminating.
Extemporanus: Well of course he’s anxious to watch V. He’s a Lizard Person and thinks it’s a documentary.
Maaa! Shut up, would ya? I’m trying to make a video down here!