But… maybe try sucking harder? [The Corner]
(Thank you to Wonkette Operative “Ruprick.”)
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{ 61 comments }
My penis has decided to go on strike due to the horrifying mental imagery.
No good; he has to help little brother weight his fishing nets.
DO NOT WANT!!!
My eyes, my eyes! My mind’s eye, my mind’s eye!
It’s been scientifically proven that K-Lo would need some kind of relativistic phenomenon – say a quantum black hole – in order to suck any harder than she already does.
She’d have better luck trying to corner him into election-night sucking.
I threw up in my brain a little bit.
Is that what the kids are calling it now? Too fresh even for the urban dictionary, that’s Our Wonkette.
“Cornering?” That page is missing from my copy of the Kama Sutra.
These posts are very enjoyable. In related news, I would like to see Floyd Mayweather, Jr. box a blind three-year-old.
And yet, the two of them still deny that they’re a couple. I’ve had a few pairs of co-workers like that, who think that no-one knows they’ve fucking when everyone has figured it out; hell, I was part of a couple like that (well, I figured everyone knew, but she thought no-one suspected).
Now that mental picture is stuck in my head, and ew ew ew ew ew.
Jonah needs a FLUFFER to keep his COLUMN up. Whooaaaaaa! See how I did that…”column,” get it? Shit I’m funny.
No wonder it’s taking so long.
I’m not hip to the terminology, but it seems to me that “cornering” would require a partner who is somewhat less roundish.
Has she tried a donut on a string?
Perhaps a bigger microscope?..
K-Lo cannot suck any harder than she does already.
[re=450088]Tundra Grifter[/re]: Neither Lopez or Goldberg are limber enough for Cornering, which requires twisting your back so that your head can go up your own ass.
Cornholering.
[re=450084]memzilla[/re]: +1
I think someone must have hacked the page. I’m guessing Shorts. Can anyone be that stupid, even K-Lo, to write that?
On a related note, there’s an ad there that says, “The Coming Gas Boom.” Poor choice of words.
Once the gays take over they will be teaching Cornering to my 1st grader.
FTFY:
[re=450107]JMP[/re]: Neither Lopez or Goldberg are limber enough for Cornering, which requires twisting your back so that your head can be removed from your own ass.
In more palatable news, an Italian court just convicted 23 CIA agents of abducting a Muslim cleric from Milan and sending him to Egypt to be tortured.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/8343123.stm
Oh please let this go all the way to the top.
Who knows, maybe K-Lo was abused by that one rogue priest who liked little girls instead of boys, and learned her some serious sucking skillz in grade school. And no, I do not actually wish sexual abuse on any child.
Leave to the Empress of Wingnuttistan to coin another term for their blessed buttsecks. They’re a veritable Cornholicopia of Sodomite witticisms.
I don’t think either of them could suck any more. But I’ve been wrong before. Once.
…and then see if she can swallow his analysis.
I’m stumped to think of a single context where this wouldn’t have been dirty.
This is exactly what leads up to the conception of the Anti-Christ in my home-made Bible; fortunately the Armageddon is averted when the baby is so fat it eats itself.
cornering = pegging?
cornering = scissoring?
would help to know this Jonah person’s gender identity to sort this out
In other news, trucknutz is still not registering on the NYT’s stoopid wordcloud.
[re=450120]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Or less. Also.
[re=450116]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Just when you think the Italians can’t screw up their country any worse their rogue element goes & does something eminently respectable. Which will then be completely ignored by both our media & president.
Women of KJ’s ample proportions are rumored to be good at that sort of thing.
[re=450095]JMP[/re]: girls are dumb like that. we had a situation like that at work–all the guys just new the dude was banging the girl, but she told the girls that they were just friends. my gf believed it, until the girl came in crying that the dude was beating her in addition to banging her.
I’m sure that relates to the post at hand, somehow…
[re=450111]Katydid[/re]: “Can anyone be that stupid, even K-Lo, to write that?”
There is absolutely no limit on how stupid K-Lo can be. Einstien proved it, with math.
@wookies: This is the one issue to be really passionate and hopeful about, as far as I’m concerned. We don’t right this wrong now, we never will. Not to mention the risk involved in sending “terrorists” to Egypt when they could have subjected him to some hometown torture with mandatory attendance at Milan’s fashion week. Oh, the indignity!
Needs more ewwwwwwwwww.
wow, that works on so many levels
Don’t ask me – heck I just recently figured out that that “Santa Baby” song is all about the buttsecks.
Sucking in a Corner? What? Is this that “Getting Dome” thing we were talking about yesterday??
You young people…
[re=450076]rottenart[/re]: <—WHAT HE SAID!
Lopez and Goldberg: When tubbies rut.
[re=450074]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Second that.
[re=450099]gurukalehuru[/re]: Instead of “cornering,” they might want to try a little “squaring the circle.”
[re=450128]Jim89048[/re]: Well, since it’s for election 2008, it has had a whole year of non-trucknutz words to process.
[re=450111]Katydid[/re]: This may explain the Corner’s gas boom
Cornering is the new Santorum.
[re=450159]doxastic[/re]: Ha ha, everyone blamed it on poor Ray’s Sausage.
Not many people know what a dead body smells like,” he said. “It’s a very, very strong smell that is foul and indistinguishable. It’s the mixture of gas, flesh and blood. It’s rotting foul flesh. It’s the reason people are embalmed.
Today we are all Corners.
Cornerists?
Cornacopiests?
She had much better luck cornering Jonah into election-night sucking.
And then everyone wonders why the Corner smells like swamp ass and bad vagina.
[re=450214]El Pinche[/re]: swamp ass and bad vagina
Best. Band Name. EVAR.
He *IS* gay, isn’t he?? Doesn’t everybody know that?
[re=450083]SayItWithWookies[/re]: [re=450205]Extemporanus[/re]: Jinx!
[re=450264]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Worst. Baby Name. EVAR.
See Kathryn suck. Suck, Kathryn, suck.
[re=450191]hobospacejunkie[/re]: I wonder what that person actually meant instead of ‘indistinguishable’. Distinguishable? Distinct? Inextinguishable?
HA HA. I’ll use any excuse to post this again!
http://blingee.com/blingee/view/87029424-KLO-JO-BIG-BEDFELLOWS
[re=450264]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Or Cartoon Networks Adult Swim’s next big hit.
Can I be a son-of-bitch and let you guys know that I thought Joshua Goldberg had written this before I read it was a veritable female? Am I going to hell for that?
Well, the Urban Dictionary seems to fully understand Kathyrn’s “cornering” defintition
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