TWO BORED OLD MEN  9:25 am November 4, 2009

Do Not Miss Bill Clinton’s And George W. Bush’s Civil No-Stakes Debate Talent Show!

by Juli Weiner

Bill Clinton and George W. Bush will simultaneously perform impressions of relevance at Radio City Music Hall, where in February they will “debate topics ranging from the economy, to foreign policy, to the current administration.” Details are still fuzzy re: why anyone suggested this in the first place, what anyone believes the stakes to be or hopes to gain from this, or what’s in it for absolutely anyone—Clinton, Bush, the audience, Radio City Music Hall, or you, simply hearing in passing that this thing even exists.

Allegedly, it’s all a part of something called the “Minds That Move The World” series, some sort of large-scale nihilistic scheme to literally bore everyone to death. “Prices start at $60 for the cheap seats and rise to $1,250 for high rollers who want to join both presidents at a pre-debate reception for cocktails and picture-taking.” Bit more for a private room with either man, although he will not touch you and there will be no kissing on the mouth. [NY Daily News]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 73 comments }

norbizness November 4, 2009 at 9:29 am

I think that GW will not be debating so much as eefing.

the problem child November 4, 2009 at 9:30 am

Will have to miss Bill Clinton’s and George W. Bush’s civil, no-stakes stadium debate. If there were stakes or even steaks, I might show up. But if I can’t pound something through Dubya’s heart, or clog my own, I’m not interested.

HomoPolitico November 4, 2009 at 9:30 am

Now all I need is $1,250 and an extra shoe. Little help, wonketeers?

Advocatus_Diaboli November 4, 2009 at 9:32 am

Is this, by any chance, sponsored by Ikea?

magic titty November 4, 2009 at 9:36 am

I recently saw the Yeah Yeah Yeahs at Radio City. This won’t be as good.

Norbert November 4, 2009 at 9:37 am

Prediction: Bush will pull a Palin-no show; Clinton will bang a minimum of Rockettes

ManchuCandidate November 4, 2009 at 9:37 am

“Minds That Move The World”?

Yes, I see. Seems rather ironic as W’s mental horsepower couldn’t move a dust bunny.

themanman November 4, 2009 at 9:40 am

Dems just need a confidence booster. This is going to be too easy for Bill.

freakishlystrong November 4, 2009 at 9:40 am

“Minds That Move The World” series Bush’s mind moved the world alright, like I moved my bowels this AM and produced a big turd…

Aflac Shrugged November 4, 2009 at 9:41 am

If I’m paying $1,250, I want to smoke a cigar with Bill and snort a rail with Dubya. There’s a recession on.

MLHencken November 4, 2009 at 9:41 am

I think they show have a pre-show cocaine summit at Bill’s office up in Harlem. Now there’s a Clinton Global Initiative.

America' November 4, 2009 at 9:42 am

There is no sex in the VIP room.

One Yield Regular November 4, 2009 at 9:46 am

To be fair to the producers, one should understand that Timothy Leary and G. Gordon Liddy are no longer available.

PlanetWingnuta November 4, 2009 at 9:47 am

if me and bill arent going to the titty bar afterwards and me sitting on his lap at the same time then i dont want it. my 1,250 is going elsewhere.

CrunchyKnee November 4, 2009 at 9:55 am

Sweet, they can both talk about how they ruined the American economy with NAFTA and CAFTA and I can spend the last of my home Dumpster move in and spruce up monies to see them do it. USA USA USA.

FlownOver November 4, 2009 at 9:55 am

Bush’s only hope is to load up his gloves with something nasty and rub it in Clinton’s eyes.

madtowngooner November 4, 2009 at 10:01 am

It will be the largest concentration of intelligence ever seen at Radio City. And it won’t go down a single IQ point even if W doesn’t show.

rmontcal November 4, 2009 at 10:05 am

Wait, GWB will be having cocktails BEFORE the debate? Awesome.

Oldskool November 4, 2009 at 10:05 am

They’ve been too chummy since Day One so I don’t expect any fireworks. Be nice though. I’d even send Bubba a hooker if W leaves there with a shiner.

TGY November 4, 2009 at 10:05 am

George Bush’s mind is only a very small speed-bump in the Earth’s orbital path.

Next Great Pwndit November 4, 2009 at 10:06 am

Perhaps they will re-enact Darrell Hammond and Will Ferrell skits from SNL.

AggieDemocrat November 4, 2009 at 10:10 am

George Bush has a “mind that moves the world”? Wow.

This will be compelling television and/or radio. I can’t wait to see the Big Dog wipe the floor with that smarmy asshole.

WarAndG November 4, 2009 at 10:12 am

Cream pies at the ready.

bitchincamaro November 4, 2009 at 10:14 am

The Cummer and the Dumber.

gurukalehuru November 4, 2009 at 10:15 am

Poppy must have something on Bill, something bigger than just getting a few blow jobs I mean, because otherwise, there is really no reason to humor his retarded son.
Maybe they were right about the whole Vince Foster thing after all?

Terry November 4, 2009 at 10:16 am

Why on Earth would Dubya agree to do this? You’d think that Laura might have tried to suggest he go clear brush that day or something.

Guppy06 November 4, 2009 at 10:16 am

February? Is it the same day Sarah Palin will be speaking to the illustrious Daytona Beach Area Chamber of Commerce? I wouldn’t want to miss that!

AllHat November 4, 2009 at 10:18 am

I’m guessing it’s all in the hopes of hearing one of them fart on stage, because hearing an ex-president fart would be funny. I guess.

finallyhappy November 4, 2009 at 10:24 am

If I wouldn’t pay $300 to see Daniel Craig and Hugh Jackman in A Steady Rain- why would I pay anything to see Bush? You can pretty much see Clinton for free campaigning for other Dems.

Mild Midwesterner November 4, 2009 at 10:27 am

Bill Clinton: “I know George Bush, Sr., and you are no George Bush, Sr.”

Canmon (the Inadequate) November 4, 2009 at 10:27 am

They did this in Toronto a few months ago. Apparently, they couldn’t give away tickets.

sezme November 4, 2009 at 10:32 am

How much for W to give Willie a blow job on stage? Because A) it would give a measure of relevance to this event and B) we could all pitch in.

graceless November 4, 2009 at 10:33 am

[re=449976]HomoPolitico[/re]: I know what you can do with your shoe. http://holykaw.alltop.com/how-to-open-a-bottle-of-wine-with-your-shoe-0

Next Great Pwndit November 4, 2009 at 10:39 am

[re=450013]Guppy06[/re]: Sarah is coming to Daytona in February … must be Bike Week! The possibilities are mind-boggling.

gurukalehuru November 4, 2009 at 10:47 am

Mais merde, alors, il y a des grandes morans partout, c’est vrai donc, non?

A Better American Than You! November 4, 2009 at 11:08 am

Mimes that Mooned the World?

SayItWithWookies November 4, 2009 at 11:09 am

I’d go see it if Clinton was going to mop the floor with Dubya, but he’ll probably be nice to him instead. I’ll think of Dubya’s administration as a distant abstraction to be debated civilly when he can debate via satellite feed from a filthy rat-infested pit in the Hague.

Lascauxcaveman November 4, 2009 at 11:09 am

[re=450011]gurukalehuru[/re]: [re=450012]Terry[/re]: With those ticket prices? These guys are going to haul in $60-80-100 grand for one night’s work, with more than plenty left over for the promoter. It’s like putting on a rock concert without the expense.

davesnothere November 4, 2009 at 11:10 am

The Post-Satire Event of the Season!
The organizers should be arrested for poor taste, the participants… ah, well. You know.

thewarmingsun November 4, 2009 at 11:10 am

grody. somehow this reminds me of that death match between those two lesbians, billie jean king and bobbie riggs.

nailsinthecoffin November 4, 2009 at 11:11 am

[re=450034]Next Great Pwndit[/re]: Bike week or the Daytona 500. Either way, the morans will be out in force.

comicbookguy November 4, 2009 at 11:15 am

[re=450006]AggieDemocrat[/re]: Bush may or may not have a “mind that moves the world” but he did move a quarter of Iraq’s population the fuck outta Dodge.

McDuff November 4, 2009 at 11:19 am

Will Joe Wilson be there to yell “You lie!”?

Gorillionaire November 4, 2009 at 11:20 am

I’ll bet anyone a bag of super charged upper-echelon touched-by-Jesus rock star quality weed that Dubya hasn’t spent more than ten minutes even thinking about the news or world events since about two months prior to election day Nov. 2008.

magic titty November 4, 2009 at 11:21 am

[re=450010]bitchincamaro[/re]: Jizzy and Dizzy.

sagebrush November 4, 2009 at 11:39 am

Perhaps if Bush’s mind hadn’t moved the economy into the toilet, I would still have a job. However, that not being the case, I regret to inform Messrs. Bush and Clinton that I will be unable to attend.

Potater November 4, 2009 at 11:40 am

[re=450082]Gorillionaire[/re]: “since about two months prior to election day Nov. 2000″

Fixed.

Accordion-o-rama November 4, 2009 at 12:08 pm

A real meeting of the mind.

hobospacejunkie November 4, 2009 at 12:10 pm

[re=450000]Oldskool[/re]: Yeah, Willie likes W’s ties to big money too much to take the easy route & make W look like the dummy he is.

Paul Tardy November 4, 2009 at 12:29 pm

Totally happy for Bill. This is great news coming off the awesome news that Bill got his very own larger than life bronze statue. A bit of a let down that it was in erected by Kosovo(a) Albanians in Kosovo(a) and not real Americans or even Albanians living in America, or Americans whose parents were Albanians. Where’s Dubyas larger than life genuine bronze statue, huh?

yellowdogdem November 4, 2009 at 12:35 pm

[re=450012]Terry[/re]: It’s all about the Benjamins for both of them (even though I do like Bill).

proudgrampa November 4, 2009 at 12:39 pm

You know, it’s not like we can’t foresee the outcome. I got better things to do…

This is part of that money-grubbing that makes ex-presidents look shallow. Why don’t they get off their asses and build houses, like Carter?

new complexnegro November 4, 2009 at 12:51 pm

Wow! Bubba and Dubya debating! Who would have thought!?

Zorg November 4, 2009 at 12:52 pm

Bush, in a debate? What could beat that? Maybe Stephen Hawking in a WEC cage fight?

Snarkalicious November 4, 2009 at 12:53 pm

[re=450153]Paul Tardy[/re]: In his foyer, would be my guess.

GreatWhiteSnark November 4, 2009 at 1:03 pm

[re=449987]Aflac Shrugged[/re]: Umm, I’m not sure I’d want to share a cigar with Bill — only Ken Starr knows where that cigar has been.

earnestcivilservant November 4, 2009 at 1:05 pm

[re=450087]magic titty[/re]: Beaverish and ButtHeaded

dum librul November 4, 2009 at 1:06 pm

[re=450160]yellowdogdem[/re]: Netanyahu.

populucious November 4, 2009 at 1:06 pm

Ok so which one gets to wear the magician’s assistant outfit and get into the magic box of swords?

desertwind November 4, 2009 at 1:11 pm

What if they gave a party and nobody came?

Zorg November 4, 2009 at 1:35 pm

[re=450200]earnestcivilservant[/re]: Perfect! I can see it on the marquee at the RCMH.

nbawriter November 4, 2009 at 1:47 pm

Minds that move my bowels. It’s Meta-mucil.

shadowMark November 4, 2009 at 2:02 pm

Is this for the benefit of Mr. Kite? Will there be trampolines? Horses? Hoops and garters?
A hog’s head of real fire?

It could challenge the world.

Come here a minute November 4, 2009 at 2:05 pm

Stay until the end — you will not want to miss the live camels and sheep.

NotthatLC November 4, 2009 at 2:18 pm

Oh, man, SO MF-ing THERE. With popcorn. Even if I have to sneak it in.

FlownOver November 4, 2009 at 2:28 pm

[re=450153]Paul Tardy[/re]: Try the hush-hush private viewing room at Koch Oil HQ.

Cassawary November 4, 2009 at 2:43 pm

[re=450044]gurukalehuru[/re]: mais oui, je suis d’accord. considérant que. également.

teebob2000 November 4, 2009 at 2:45 pm

[re=450087]magic titty[/re]: Weren’t they pitchers?

Cookie_Monster_Cupcake November 4, 2009 at 2:48 pm

wait wait wait….George W. Bush was president?

chascates November 4, 2009 at 3:36 pm

The debate between Bill Clinton and George W. Bush has been canceled “because the promoter overhyped it as a death-match faceoff between the men,” according to the New York Post.

MLHencken November 4, 2009 at 4:09 pm
NotthatLC November 4, 2009 at 5:25 pm

Who the hell did they think was going to fill Radio City Music Hall to hear Clinton and Bush make separate SPEECHES? Apparently it’s not only Maine that’s lost its damn mind.

heathenish November 4, 2009 at 8:21 pm

is this for charity?

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