two bored old men

Do Not Miss Bill Clinton’s And George W. Bush’s Civil No-Stakes Debate Talent Show!

Bill Clinton and George W. Bush will simultaneously perform impressions of relevance at Radio City Music Hall, where in February they will “debate topics ranging from the economy, to foreign policy, to the current administration.” Details are still fuzzy re: why anyone suggested this in the first place, what anyone believes the stakes to be or hopes to gain from this, or what’s in it for absolutely anyone—Clinton, Bush, the audience, Radio City Music Hall, or you, simply hearing in passing that this thing even exists.

Allegedly, it’s all a part of something called the “Minds That Move The World” series, some sort of large-scale nihilistic scheme to literally bore everyone to death. “Prices start at $60 for the cheap seats and rise to $1,250 for high rollers who want to join both presidents at a pre-debate reception for cocktails and picture-taking.” Bit more for a private room with either man, although he will not touch you and there will be no kissing on the mouth. [NY Daily News]

About the author

Juli Weiner was Wonkette's beloved intern and books columnist and then morning editor until she was hired away by Vanity Fair in 2010.

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  • norbizness

    I think that GW will not be debating so much as eefing.

  • the problem child

    Will have to miss Bill Clinton’s and George W. Bush’s civil, no-stakes stadium debate. If there were stakes or even steaks, I might show up. But if I can’t pound something through Dubya’s heart, or clog my own, I’m not interested.

  • HomoPolitico

    Now all I need is $1,250 and an extra shoe. Little help, wonketeers?

  • Advocatus_Diaboli

    Is this, by any chance, sponsored by Ikea?

  • magic titty

    I recently saw the Yeah Yeah Yeahs at Radio City. This won’t be as good.

  • Norbert

    Prediction: Bush will pull a Palin-no show; Clinton will bang a minimum of Rockettes

  • ManchuCandidate

    “Minds That Move The World”?

    Yes, I see. Seems rather ironic as W’s mental horsepower couldn’t move a dust bunny.

  • themanman

    Dems just need a confidence booster. This is going to be too easy for Bill.

  • freakishlystrong

    “Minds That Move The World” series Bush’s mind moved the world alright, like I moved my bowels this AM and produced a big turd…

  • Aflac Shrugged

    If I’m paying $1,250, I want to smoke a cigar with Bill and snort a rail with Dubya. There’s a recession on.

  • MLHencken

    I think they show have a pre-show cocaine summit at Bill’s office up in Harlem. Now there’s a Clinton Global Initiative.

  • America&#39

    There is no sex in the VIP room.

  • One Yield Regular

    To be fair to the producers, one should understand that Timothy Leary and G. Gordon Liddy are no longer available.

  • PlanetWingnuta

    if me and bill arent going to the titty bar afterwards and me sitting on his lap at the same time then i dont want it. my 1,250 is going elsewhere.

  • CrunchyKnee

    Sweet, they can both talk about how they ruined the American economy with NAFTA and CAFTA and I can spend the last of my home Dumpster move in and spruce up monies to see them do it. USA USA USA.

  • FlownOver

    Bush’s only hope is to load up his gloves with something nasty and rub it in Clinton’s eyes.

  • madtowngooner

    It will be the largest concentration of intelligence ever seen at Radio City. And it won’t go down a single IQ point even if W doesn’t show.

  • rmontcal

    Wait, GWB will be having cocktails BEFORE the debate? Awesome.

  • Oldskool

    They’ve been too chummy since Day One so I don’t expect any fireworks. Be nice though. I’d even send Bubba a hooker if W leaves there with a shiner.

  • TGY

    George Bush’s mind is only a very small speed-bump in the Earth’s orbital path.

  • Next Great Pwndit

    Perhaps they will re-enact Darrell Hammond and Will Ferrell skits from SNL.

  • AggieDemocrat

    George Bush has a “mind that moves the world”? Wow.

    This will be compelling television and/or radio. I can’t wait to see the Big Dog wipe the floor with that smarmy asshole.

  • WarAndG

    Cream pies at the ready.

  • bitchincamaro

    The Cummer and the Dumber.

  • gurukalehuru

    Poppy must have something on Bill, something bigger than just getting a few blow jobs I mean, because otherwise, there is really no reason to humor his retarded son.
    Maybe they were right about the whole Vince Foster thing after all?

  • Terry

    Why on Earth would Dubya agree to do this? You’d think that Laura might have tried to suggest he go clear brush that day or something.

  • Guppy06

    February? Is it the same day Sarah Palin will be speaking to the illustrious Daytona Beach Area Chamber of Commerce? I wouldn’t want to miss that!

  • AllHat

    I’m guessing it’s all in the hopes of hearing one of them fart on stage, because hearing an ex-president fart would be funny. I guess.

  • finallyhappy

    If I wouldn’t pay $300 to see Daniel Craig and Hugh Jackman in A Steady Rain- why would I pay anything to see Bush? You can pretty much see Clinton for free campaigning for other Dems.

  • Mild Midwesterner

    Bill Clinton: “I know George Bush, Sr., and you are no George Bush, Sr.”

  • Canmon (the Inadequate)

    They did this in Toronto a few months ago. Apparently, they couldn’t give away tickets.

  • sezme

    How much for W to give Willie a blow job on stage? Because A) it would give a measure of relevance to this event and B) we could all pitch in.

  • graceless

    [re=449976]HomoPolitico[/re]: I know what you can do with your shoe. http://holykaw.alltop.com/how-to-open-a-bottle-of-wine-with-your-shoe-0

  • Next Great Pwndit

    [re=450013]Guppy06[/re]: Sarah is coming to Daytona in February … must be Bike Week! The possibilities are mind-boggling.

  • gurukalehuru

    Mais merde, alors, il y a des grandes morans partout, c’est vrai donc, non?

  • A Better American Than You!

    Mimes that Mooned the World?

  • SayItWithWookies

    I’d go see it if Clinton was going to mop the floor with Dubya, but he’ll probably be nice to him instead. I’ll think of Dubya’s administration as a distant abstraction to be debated civilly when he can debate via satellite feed from a filthy rat-infested pit in the Hague.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    [re=450011]gurukalehuru[/re]: [re=450012]Terry[/re]: With those ticket prices? These guys are going to haul in $60-80-100 grand for one night’s work, with more than plenty left over for the promoter. It’s like putting on a rock concert without the expense.

  • davesnothere

    The Post-Satire Event of the Season!
    The organizers should be arrested for poor taste, the participants… ah, well. You know.

  • thewarmingsun

    grody. somehow this reminds me of that death match between those two lesbians, billie jean king and bobbie riggs.

  • nailsinthecoffin

    [re=450034]Next Great Pwndit[/re]: Bike week or the Daytona 500. Either way, the morans will be out in force.

  • comicbookguy

    [re=450006]AggieDemocrat[/re]: Bush may or may not have a “mind that moves the world” but he did move a quarter of Iraq’s population the fuck outta Dodge.

  • McDuff

    Will Joe Wilson be there to yell “You lie!”?

  • Gorillionaire

    I’ll bet anyone a bag of super charged upper-echelon touched-by-Jesus rock star quality weed that Dubya hasn’t spent more than ten minutes even thinking about the news or world events since about two months prior to election day Nov. 2008.

  • magic titty

    [re=450010]bitchincamaro[/re]: Jizzy and Dizzy.

  • sagebrush

    Perhaps if Bush’s mind hadn’t moved the economy into the toilet, I would still have a job. However, that not being the case, I regret to inform Messrs. Bush and Clinton that I will be unable to attend.

  • Potater

    [re=450082]Gorillionaire[/re]: “since about two months prior to election day Nov. 2000″

    Fixed.

  • Accordion-o-rama

    A real meeting of the mind.

  • hobospacejunkie

    [re=450000]Oldskool[/re]: Yeah, Willie likes W’s ties to big money too much to take the easy route & make W look like the dummy he is.

  • Paul Tardy

    Totally happy for Bill. This is great news coming off the awesome news that Bill got his very own larger than life bronze statue. A bit of a let down that it was in erected by Kosovo(a) Albanians in Kosovo(a) and not real Americans or even Albanians living in America, or Americans whose parents were Albanians. Where’s Dubyas larger than life genuine bronze statue, huh?

  • yellowdogdem

    [re=450012]Terry[/re]: It’s all about the Benjamins for both of them (even though I do like Bill).

  • proudgrampa

    You know, it’s not like we can’t foresee the outcome. I got better things to do…

    This is part of that money-grubbing that makes ex-presidents look shallow. Why don’t they get off their asses and build houses, like Carter?

  • new complexnegro

    Wow! Bubba and Dubya debating! Who would have thought!?

  • Zorg

    Bush, in a debate? What could beat that? Maybe Stephen Hawking in a WEC cage fight?

  • Snarkalicious

    [re=450153]Paul Tardy[/re]: In his foyer, would be my guess.

  • GreatWhiteSnark

    [re=449987]Aflac Shrugged[/re]: Umm, I’m not sure I’d want to share a cigar with Bill — only Ken Starr knows where that cigar has been.

  • earnestcivilservant

    [re=450087]magic titty[/re]: Beaverish and ButtHeaded

  • dum librul

    [re=450160]yellowdogdem[/re]: Netanyahu.

  • populucious

    Ok so which one gets to wear the magician’s assistant outfit and get into the magic box of swords?

  • desertwind

    What if they gave a party and nobody came?

  • Zorg

    [re=450200]earnestcivilservant[/re]: Perfect! I can see it on the marquee at the RCMH.

  • nbawriter

    Minds that move my bowels. It’s Meta-mucil.

  • shadowMark

    Is this for the benefit of Mr. Kite? Will there be trampolines? Horses? Hoops and garters?
    A hog’s head of real fire?

    It could challenge the world.

  • Come here a minute

    Stay until the end — you will not want to miss the live camels and sheep.

  • NotthatLC

    Oh, man, SO MF-ing THERE. With popcorn. Even if I have to sneak it in.

  • FlownOver

    [re=450153]Paul Tardy[/re]: Try the hush-hush private viewing room at Koch Oil HQ.

  • Cassawary

    [re=450044]gurukalehuru[/re]: mais oui, je suis d’accord. considérant que. également.

  • teebob2000

    [re=450087]magic titty[/re]: Weren’t they pitchers?

  • Cookie_Monster_Cupcake

    wait wait wait….George W. Bush was president?

  • chascates

    The debate between Bill Clinton and George W. Bush has been canceled “because the promoter overhyped it as a death-match faceoff between the men,” according to the New York Post.

  • MLHencken
  • NotthatLC

    Who the hell did they think was going to fill Radio City Music Hall to hear Clinton and Bush make separate SPEECHES? Apparently it’s not only Maine that’s lost its damn mind.

  • heathenish

    is this for charity?