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OBAMA MUST RESIGN BY MIDNIGHT

Liveblogging The New Jersey Tussle Between Those Two Jerks

Here is a photograph of New Jersey Governor Jon Corzine’s greatest accomplishment in the last four years, when he crashed his car. Between his two runs, Jon Corzine has spent approximately $700 million of his own money trying to win one of the least desirable jobs in politics: the guy who has to raise taxes on a populace of constipated slobs who can’t even pump their own gas, by law. Will he luck out and lose tonight to the very fat Chris Christie? The television will tell us.

8:22 — Keith Olbermann is talking about the public option now that he has some “down time.” But the public option is not up for election tonight, SIR. SIR. Let’s watch CNN again, where the panel of 900 hungry hungry partisans are expected to battle-royale it out over a few cubes of raw sirloin.
8:28 — Back to Virginia: the Republican candidate for Attorney General, Ken Cuccinelli, and the Republican candidate for Lieutenant Governor, “who gives a fuck,” have also won. It’s the Triple Crown of Virginia! Which state shall the new leadership declare war on first?
8:31 — A fellow on the CNN is giving a presentation on the findings of his OBAMETER, which keep track of which promises Obama has kept and which he has broken. Most news organizations put a 15-year-old intern in charge of this, what is commonly referred to as “sorting.”
8:33 — If you want to track the fortunes of gay marriage in Maine, here is a website! The early results suggest that it’ll be celebratory costume-disco party time in downtown Bangor all night long.
8:40 — The CNN panel is very liberal-biased. Mary Matalin and that other gal are the only two Republicans, alongside James Carville, Roland Martin, that lawyer from the New Yorker, Donna Brazile, and the two apolitical robots David Gergen and Candy Crowley. The only man who can make this panel exciting is, hypothetically, Lanny Davis, but he usually spends this part of the week in Honduras.
8:52 — Sorry that we are liveblogging at such a snail’s pace this hour. It’s the news, the news is moving at this very same snail’s pace!
8:53 — Oh now here is an actual potential piece of upcoming news. Your Wonkette has just received this brief alert from its favorite alliterative campaign office, Crist Communications:

Governor Crist to Appear on Fox News Channel Tonight at 11:04pm EST

Tallahassee – Governor Charlie Crist will discuss the 2009 and 2010 Elections tonight, Tuesday, November 3, 2009, during Fox News Channel’s Election Night coverage at 11:04 p.m. EST.

(An abridged episode of Amos & Andy will air from 11:00 to 11:03.) What will the gay Charlie Crist tell Fox News, after today’s events! Many pundits are saying that the empowered Teabaggers, after having (probably) conquered a deep-red congressional district in rural New York, will now try to kill Charlie Crist in his Senate race.

9:01 — Wolf Blitzer has an update before CNN turns over to Larry King! You can tell it is a slow election night if they turn things over to Larry King before the major races are called. You can also tell it is a slow election night when it is super freaking fucking obvious that it is a slow election night.
9:02 — New York polls are closed; nothing. Christie is beating Corzine by about 10 percentage points, with 20% of precincts reporting. Oh no, now there are 28% reporting, and the lead is down to six! John King is drawing neon green circles all over Virginia. “Does this prove…[X] ?” comes an infinite stream of rhetorical questions from the drawer John King.
9:07 — Now we are watching Rachel Maddow, the one tolerable and sometimes wonderful cable news personality! She was just talking about this comical story — OMG SHE WAS TALKING TO DAVE WEIGEL! — from NY-23:

“We just had a report that one of our pollsters in Clinton County just had their tires slashed,” Hoffman told reporters at his campaign office in Plattsburgh, N.Y. “So I think the Democrats are doing everything they possibly can to steal this election away from the 23rd District.” … Capt. Michael Branch of the Plattsburgh City Police Department said the incident wasn’t criminal mischief, but rather a tire-meets-bottle affair. “This was not a tire slashing—this was some guy who drove over a bottle and cut his tire,” Branch said.

Wish we had more time to get to know this Hoffman, whose lack of knowledge about everything and uncanny ability to follow Glenn Beck’s every order would’ve made for plenty of long-term campaign fodder.
9:19 — Okay now Rachel Maddow is talking about gay civil rights with a gay fellow which means that there is officially Nothing Happening. This seems like a good point to close Wonkette’s liveblogging coverage of the Hobbit-Sized 2009 Elections. Any further news will be written up in individual posts.

SUMMARY: Republicans took the governorship and other statewide races in Virginia, just like in the good ol’ days. The fat Chris Christie appears to be maintaining a solid lead over Jon Corzine (52% to 42%, last we checked), but it’s still too close to call, and more Democratic districts have yet to fully report. Glenn Beck’s wingnut bitch has not yet declared victory over the ACORN drone in NY-23. Gay people in Maine are still waiting to hear about whether they’ll be executed en masse, or not. Jonah Goldberg’s Wonkette-endorsed brother is talking shit all over Twitter, like the cock of the walk! Finally, PROPERTY TAXES IN NEW JERSEY ARE STILL OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS! RIGHT NOW THEY ARE SO HIGH!

Love,
America


8:16 PM on Tue November 3 2009
By Jim Newell
9293 Views

  1. Suds McKenzie says at 8:18 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    Asshole doesn’t even have the good taste to run a motor boat up on the rocks? - I hope he looses.

  2. SomeNYGuy says at 8:19 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    Populace, not populous. Not trying to be pompous or populist or preposterous.

  3. rafflesinc says at 8:20 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    Hey Wonkette, are you going to liveblog the big gay tussle in Maine?

  4. PerhapsSo says at 8:21 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    The “winner” will have a lot of responsibility for Camden, Trenton, and Newark. Who wants that, really?

  5. blinky_twinkie says at 8:21 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    Why did the President of New Jersey steal Jon Stewart’s first name after getting into a car crash and going bald? We need SCUZZLEBUTT!!

  6. JimNewell says at 8:22 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    SomeNYGuy: oh thank you. (juli please show up soon!)

  7. DangerousLiberal says at 8:24 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    rafflesinc: Or in Washington State? Take some poppers and stay up all night.

  8. loquaciousmusic says at 8:24 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    There was a girl in a Mazda 6 in front of me in traffic today. She had New Jersey plates and a bumper sticker that read: “Jersey Girls Don’t Pump Their Own Gas!”

    That’s all I have to say about that.

  9. President Beeblebrox says at 8:25 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    Question: Is there any other sitting governor who currently has a beard other than Corzine? Even Bill Richardson shaved off his molester beard.

    Fuck. I mean, what the fuck? If I had to choose between these two I’d choose sweet, sweet death instead.

    http://images.politico.com/global/news/090602_corzine_christie_apcomp_297.jpg

    OH WAIT THERE’S THAT THIRD PARTY GUY - ITZ NOT A WAISTED VOTE, REALLYS!!!

  10. President Beeblebrox says at 8:26 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    DangerousLiberal: Mmm, poppers and Viagra - the Dinner of Tweakers.

  11. How can Christie be governor if he’s larger than Trenton’s Capitol Building? HE’S INELIGIBLE! I’M STARTING A GIRTHER MOVEMENT! WHERE’S THE BMI REPORT!?

  12. SayItWithWookies says at 8:27 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    loquaciousmusic: “Jersey girls couldn’t find the gascap if they had to.”

  13. Lawndarts says at 8:27 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    I await the magical tv decree.

  14. Jersey girls love to brag about our socialist gas pumping. We pay an extra 2 cents per gallon to create jobs and reduce gas station fires. As we’re prone to carrying static electricity, it’s for the best.

  15. magic titty says at 8:28 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    loquaciousmusic: “Cuz We’re Too Busy Jacking Dudes Off, Down The Shore”

  16. PerhapsSo says at 8:30 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    President Beeblebrox: Nope, McGreevey quit. *rimshot*

  17. magic titty says at 8:30 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    So Virginia can secede now, right?

    TVarmy: I like you.

  18. Just glad that the two clowns’ TV ads will finally be off my TV. Yes Christie, we know you have four kids, although I still don’t know how you managed to conceive them without crushing you small wife to death (not without violating your family values, missionary-only platform).

  19. And MSNBC calls Virginia for the guy everyone thought would win; this means Obama’s agenda is doomed!

  20. I’m listening to all this on WNYC. Brian Lehrer hosting. Our internet boyfriend Nate Silver was on earlier. Now ex-Gov. Christie Todd Whitman is on as a guest. DID YOU KNOW NEW JERSEY HAS HIGH TAXES? ESPECIALLY HIGH PROPERTY TAXES?

  21. Thanks for the link to the Bangor gay news, Jim.

  22. JadedDIssonance says at 8:42 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    Uhm, the gheys are loosing in Maine…

  23. JadedDIssonance says at 8:43 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    However, the medical marijuana law is passing with flying colores.

  24. magic titty says at 8:44 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    Bangor? I hardly…eh.

    Wait, that same-sex marriage law is losing, in Maine? 4% of the precincts in Maine hate gay people?

  25. PerhapsSo says at 8:47 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    Oh, Keith, I don’t give a flying fuck about baseball. Move on.

  26. Ugh - I’ve been to Bangor. Not many places to party. But how can a bunch of people say “No, they can’t get married - but fuck it, let’s get stoned?” Eh, it’s early yet. Right????

  27. President Beeblebrox says at 8:49 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    jagorev: Um, this doesn’t look like good news for teh geyz…

    REJECT SAME-SEX MARRIAGE LAW
    Yes 6611 53.39%
    No 5771 46.61%

    This, however, does look good… if anything it will help Maine’s lobster industry when all the stoners get the munchies and head to the local lobster pound.

    MAINE MEDICAL MARIJUANA ACT
    Yes 7453 60.69%
    No 4828 39.31%

  28. rocktonsammy says at 8:49 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    JadedDIssonance:
    Medical Pot is winning in Maine, dewd!!

  29. NiceButStupid says at 8:50 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    PROTIP from a Jersey girl: That “to pump, or not to pump your own gas” controversy? Driving in New Jersey is a lot like driving in a Wild Safari Theme Park. For your own safety, please stay in your car at all times.

  30. Thechansen says at 8:52 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    @TVarmy: I love you
    and the bumper sticker normally reads “Jersey Girls pump fists not gas”. Which is slightly worse than the just not pumping gas one. Now I need Corzine to win to shut my friend up about some sort of socialist coup. I live in the county the largest % of birthers and mouth breathers in the state so my vote was largely a throw away. I just hope the poors and minorities stick to their “free hand out” guns and vote for the Bald millionaire instead of the child rapist looking guy.

  31. PerhapsSo: He’s a sportscaster; the problem with people into sports is that they assume the rest of us are also into sports. And the damned baseball talk is still going on…

  32. PabaBritannica says at 8:55 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    Nooooo gays in Maine! Run for the border!

  33. President Beeblebrox says at 8:56 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    Thechansen: Let me guess. You live in Cumberland County?

  34. Fucking Springsteen Man - yeah Jersey…blah blah yawn yawn.

  35. ttommyunger says at 8:56 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    Wait, you mean the WINNER has to be Governor of New Jersey? Shit, what a downer… You’d think with all that Goldman Sux money Corzine could have afforded a better State.

  36. Some time back, I was driving into New Jersey from PA with a friend, who is from Jersey, and as we crossed the border into the Garden State, he said, “I fucking hate fucking New Jersey.”
    That about says it all.

  37. PabaBritannica says at 8:59 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    The loser has to go live in that horrible clock tower city hall in Camden and work at a Dupont factory, right?

  38. PerhapsSo says at 9:00 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    JMP: I like sports. Football, basketball, etc. But I only pretend to like baseball sometimes for my pretend boyfriend Nate Silver. Thank God we have moved on to Rachel, because I thought that Keith was going to do something very dirty to Johnny Damon that the voters in Maine would disapprove of.

  39. Buttery1000 says at 9:00 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    Chris Christie’s nickname in college was “campfire beef.” True story.

  40. President Beeblebrox says at 9:01 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    This is kind of interesting. It’s like a dynamic word cloud where you can type in how you feel one year after Barry’s election.

    Republican words are “outraged”, “scared”, “ambivalent”, “hopeful”, “disappointed”, and “disgusted”.

    Weirdly, Democratic words are kind of similar, except they add “patriotic”, “proud”, and “energized.”

    Where are teh trucknutz?

  41. George Oscar Bluth says at 9:01 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    Even if Chris Christie wins he is still very, very fat.

  42. FMA:

    Yeah but have said they can see Russia from Newark

  43. SayItWithWookies says at 9:02 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    magic titty: It turned around — 55% to 45%, but only 5% of precincts reporting so far. This gay thing might see top and bottom switching off all night long.

  44. President Beeblebrox: Teh gays look to be winning now:
    No 14988 54.48%
    Yes 12524 45.52%
    While the hippies are doing even better. Per Maddow, fatty is ahead of baldy in mafialand.

  45. President Beeblebrox: Time to warblog the NYT and make trucknutz rise to the top, I say. Jim? Can we destroy the NYT word cloud? Please?

  46. shadowMark says at 9:04 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    FMA: Except Grover’s Mill. That’s where the Red Lectroids pretended the invasion from Mars was happening when they crossed over from the 8th dimension. So Grover’s Mill is cool. Gover’s Mill is a little piece of history.

  47. AKAM80TheWolf says at 9:07 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    PerhapsSo:

    I think you mean “McGreevy quit” *rimjob*

  48. assistant/atlas says at 9:08 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: This gay thing might see top and bottom switching off all night long….. I’m sure the gheyz wouldn’t have it any other way as long as they end up on top.

  49. magic titty says at 9:08 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: They’re trying to break Sully’s record, for changing positions. And boning.

  50. Paul Tardy says at 9:09 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    Living in DrumThwacket and being driven around by cops for 4 years is worth $700 million. Meeting Don Imus and the Rutgers Scarlet Amazons priceless. Going through the windshield of your SUV, … must hurt.

  51. PerhapsSo: Keith’s Yankee asskissing was turning me off from him; it’s good to have the lesbian imaginary girlfriend on now. It shows how pathetically unimportant these elections really are that Keith can waste half his show on an old-timey baseball retrospective.

  52. mollymcguire says at 9:17 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    magic titty: That is one of the reasons why I want to go home so badly.

  53. shadowMark says at 9:18 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    JMP: On ABC tonight they started the series “V.” The attractive aliens come to Earth and use universal health care to win over the hearts and minds of doubting humans. The reporter who helps the aliens actually calls the alien’s program of healing the sick, universal health care. And ABC Disney ran no election updates during the show.

  54. Darkness says at 9:19 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    Thechansen: Oh man. So true. I drove in Jersey once for about three hours, going to the shore on a fling one summer. I remember thinking: god, I’d be an unrelenting screaming bitch too if I did this all the time!

  55. OzoneTom says at 9:20 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    President Beeblebrox: WRONG! How about Governor Charlie Crist?

  56. PerhapsSo says at 9:21 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    JMP: I can’t imagine why Keith wouldn’t want to cover some of the thrilling events tonight. Why, here in Philly, we have some gripping judicial retention races that would have kept America on the edge of its seat!

  57. shadowMark: So Disney’s saying that Obama is the human-eating, Nazi lizard-alien? Bah; it’s not truly V without the Beastmaster and Freddie Krueger.

  58. Jim89048 says at 9:23 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    Hahaha–Rachel just said “progressive Mormons”!

  59. rocktonsammy says at 9:24 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    PerhapsSo:
    And a transit strike,also.

  60. PerhapsSo: Damn, that’s right; I forgot to vote today, thanks to the SEPTA strike! Now who will win for city Comptroller & city Attorney General? Oh wait, the actual elections that matter were held back in May.

  61. SayItWithWookies says at 9:28 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    Oh, and Creigh Deeds finally cracked 40%. So really, his theory that you could win the governorship without campaigning at all was 80% right.

  62. President Beeblebrox says at 9:28 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    PerhapsSo: And lots and lots of uncontested races for Judge of Elections and Commissioner of Elections, too.

  63. PoignancySelz says at 9:28 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    George Oscar Bluth: Don’t forget his well fed family, also.

  64. SomeNYGuy says at 9:29 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    PerhapsSo: we have some gripping judicial retention races

    Relax. Stop gripping and those judges you’re retaining should plop right out into the bowl.

  65. InKnockYouUs says at 9:32 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    How did I end up living in New Jersey anyway? And now I am going to have a big fat fuck as governor? This is too cruel.

  66. President Beeblebrox says at 9:33 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    With 44% of the votes in that sewer called Jersey, it’s looking like Fatty is gonna beat Beardy… Beardy is down by only 5 points now but the big urban counties are over half in, while scary suburban counties like Burlington, Somerset, and Morris aren’t even there yet.

    I don’t really give a shit that Corzine is going to lose, but I really can’t stand the thought of more gloating from Mike “Animated .gif” Steele.

    So let’s all move to teh Mainez where we can have gay-married popper sex while smoking medical marijuana.

    REJECT SAME-SEX MARRIAGE LAW
    No 32670 52.49%
    Yes 29575 47.51%

    MAINE MEDICAL MARIJUANA ACT
    Yes 39804 64.46%
    No 21947 35.54%

  67. PabaBritannica says at 9:34 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    If ever there was a race where everyone should have lost (except the “Fools Rush In” candidate) it is this one. What a dumb state, no matter the outcome.

  68. Teh Gez are up 52-48-ish. Good for them.

  69. Dr. Spaceman says at 9:36 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    I have little sympathy for the property-owning class.

  70. PerhapsSo says at 9:37 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    rocktonsammy: JMP: DAMN THE TWU! Yes, I know, bad liberal, but I woke up this morning to find out that I had no way to get to work. It filled me with rage. Plus, in addition to the surprise factor, I actually think that it is the dumbest strike ever. If I ever meet Willie Brown, I am going to forcefeed him the contents of my cat’s litterbox.

    President Beeblebrox: I think that the race for Judge of Elections actually was contested in my little corner of the world. People are ornery here.

  71. OzoneTom says at 9:39 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    Are the East Coast Elites going to live-blog the Washington State gay measure voting? We must know if Real Americans in Eastern Washington are going to be forced into arranged gay marriages blessed by that Kenyan pretender and have bi-monthly anal abortions? Inquiring minds want to know!

  72. President Beeblebrox: The more surprising thing about the Maine West Coast-Style referenda is that the Mainers apparently like taxes; I thought “limit tax X” initiatives always won in the states that allow them. Of course, the other results look to be, like, totally fab-u-lous!, dude.

  73. shadowMark says at 9:41 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    President Beeblebrox: Yes, and tomorrow Palin’s facebook posting will be just one word: WOLVERINES!

  74. AKAM80TheWolf says at 9:41 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    President Beeblebrox:

    Burlington County has dense pockets of minorities and poors so that might help us out. Either way I’ll be glad to see those “REJECT CORZINE LIES!11!!! aRghghhhh” signs taken down on Route 130.

  75. Jim89048 says at 9:43 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    AKORNZ haz failed us.

    Fucking AKORNZ…

  76. BLOOMBERG WINS!

    THAT DEMOCRAT GUY RUNNING AGAINST HIM LOSES!

  77. SayItWithWookies says at 9:45 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    That Glenn Beck admirer really seems into the role, Jim. He’s so certain he’s being shut down by ACORN and the SEIU he’ll damn well bus them into his district himself if he has to. No wonder these teabaggers are opposed to government healthcare — if we had a system that would pay for it, most of these people would be safely locked away where their hallucinations of armies of oppressive union workers wouldn’t cause them to do any harm. But in our America without healthcare options, they’re free to run for elected office.

  78. OzoneTom says at 9:46 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    Dr. Spaceman: Eat the rich!

    Their well-marbled flesh is like the best Kurobuta pork and is particularly satiating.

  79. PerhapsSo: Oh yeah, fuck the TWU hard. I’m just lucky to be fairly near the Regional Rail, so my problems are just an extra-long walk and twice-normal fares. But hey, the poor dears were only being offered a measly 11% raise, at this time when everybody else is doing so well.

  80. imissopus says at 9:52 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    When I was a wee lad we elected as governor of the state of Virginia an African-American Democrat named Doug Wilder. Granted he was a very light-skinned black man, but I believe he was the first black man elected governor of any state ever. (Wikipedia confirms…thank you Wikipedia.) Then last year the state went for Obama, the first time a Dem won VA since 1964. This year the state elects a freakin’ Regent U. law grad to the governorship??!! The same law school that shit Monica Goodling graduated from? WTF? Oh native state, if my parents didn’t live there I would boycott until McDonnell leaves office.

  81. facehead says at 9:56 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    “hungry hungry partisans” must be a reference to “hungry hungry hippos” which are kind of like RINOs, which is racist.

    How dare you Jim Newell, How dare you.

  82. MSNBC has “uncalled” the mayoral race in NYC. 48-48 early numbers. Drama!

  83. PerhapsSo says at 9:59 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    JMP: I take not one but two forms of SEPTA transport to get to work. I don’t have any gripes with them. The drivers are usually friendly enough and while they aren’t always exactly on time, they run frequently enough during the workday that it’s not a big deal. I am a pleasant passenger, say, “Good morning” and “thank you” and don’t litter or graffiti or assault drivers. I think that it’s a good system, and they do important work in helping the city run and rarely get enough credit.

    However, the union’s attitude is killing me. I hope that they choke on their fucking fat paychecks, and I will walk the 4.5 miles to work with a smile on my face if it means that they do not see another goddamn penny.

    Bile, be gone. I feel better now.

  84. jagorev: And now Maddow says they’re uncalling NYC for Bloomberg; he won, now it’s too close to call. After the Democrat called to concede. Can New York challenge Florida 2000?

  85. President Beeblebrox says at 10:01 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    AKAM80TheWolf: Salem County has zero votes reported. They must be hand-tallying them, or there’s a big rodeo tonight at Cowtown that has everyone otherwise occupied.

  86. El Pinche says at 10:03 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    This just in….Christie is still very very very fat and may premiere on Drudge as the ideal political human body when he wins…my sources say.

  87. President Beeblebrox: Represent Cumberland County! Just down the Royal River from fictional Salem’s Lot.

  88. AKAM80TheWolf says at 10:07 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    El Pinche:

    I don’t like your negative vibes momma. Don’t ever let the light leeeeave you!

  89. Gah, Chris Matthews is an asshole. “Exit polls say VA voters weren’t voting against Obama, but I know that they were actually voting against him and just didn’t want to admit it to pollsters.”

  90. Brendan M. says at 10:12 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    Wow, I guess Christie is so fat, he just sort of pulled the votes his way with gravity and won in a DemocRat state like New Jersey.

  91. NBC just called NJ for the fat guy (10:13).

  92. PerhapsSo says at 10:16 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    MSNBC just referred to “the late Governor Sarah Palin.” No, MSNBC, we’re not that lucky.

  93. Atheist Nun says at 10:21 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    President Beeblebrox: Where are teh trucknutz?

    WARBLOGGERS: ATTACK!

    TRUCKNUTS must be at the top, it simply must.

  94. AKAM80TheWolf says at 10:30 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    Damn it, I want my country back!

  95. President Beeblebrox says at 10:32 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    Katydid: nd unless Beardy comes up with 102,000 votes real fucking quick, it’s over.

    The NY Times hasn’t called anything yet, but every time I bring up the Times’ front page a giant fucking talking ad for “V” comes up.

    Jeebus. V is to Obama as Battlestar Galactica was to Bush? WHERE IS YR DIGNITY, ABC?

  96. couchbound says at 10:33 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    Bangor Daily News: 1016547 of 942825 ( 108%) registered voters have participated in this election.

    Nice!

  97. doxastic says at 10:36 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    Congratulations New Jersey. The good news is that suckitude is subject to the law of diminished returns. Compared to everything else, voting for Gov. Fatty Taxcuts to gut all of your social services is really not that big a deal.

  98. in Maine, gay marriage is losing by 1500 votes, 28% reporting. Bloomberg pulling ahead in NYC - lead now 31,000, 49.9 to 46.7 - 89% reporting. Bloomberg’s probably safe.

  99. President Beeblebrox says at 10:40 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    doxastic: Breaking: White Tax-Cutting Republican Guys Elected in VA, NJ; NY-23 Too Close to Call After Wingnut Attack; Drudge Cums In Breitbart’s Mouth

  100. flavorflav says at 10:42 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    My wife just got back from the McDonnell party in Virginia Beach (don’t ask why). 300 Republicans partiers and one (1) black person. On an unrelated note, I wonder if they’re rioting over at Regent. Do they have any bars to get tanked up at?

  101. shadowMark says at 10:46 pm, November 3rd, 2009
  102. Johnny Zhivago says at 10:48 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    Hurray! New Jersey will now be ruled by the south Jersey branch of the mafia for four years!!!

  103. the problem child says at 10:50 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    check out http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/11/03/new-book-seeks-debunk-myths-palin/?test=latestnews

    For the latest fox blunder. Rouge does not equal Rogue…

  104. President Beeblebrox says at 10:51 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    Owens might win NY-23, with 67% in. And teh gheys are barely losing in Maine, by like 1500 votes.

    N.Y. District 23

    Candidate Party Votes Pct.
    Bill Owens Dem. 47,826 49.1%
    Doug Hoffman Con. 44,349 45.5
    Dede Scozzafava Rep. 5,294 5.4

  105. glamourdammerung says at 10:56 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    So, what are the odds of Christie being indicted now?

  106. shadowMark says at 10:57 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    the problem child: Yes but plucky Meghan’s breasts say:

    dear random journalists writing
    random books about my father’s
    campaign: you think you know, but you
    have no idea.

  107. SayItWithWookies says at 10:57 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    Maine gay marriage repeal:
    No - 112,376
    Yes - 112,112

    Oh, the drama.

  108. laziestgal says at 10:58 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    Where’s Jim? Did he pass out? Or too disgusted to post?

  109. chascates says at 11:00 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: I thought it passed as well as medical marijuana.

  110. doxastic says at 11:01 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    President Beeblebrox: Seriously. And Virginia? The last time you voted for a Republican, he cut the car tax and then called in the presidents of each public university, made them wait for two hours, and finally sent out an aide to give each one an envelope with how many millions of dollars they would have to cut from their budgets, effective immediately. So, uh, good luck with that.

  111. Just finished listening to Corzine’s concession speech. he seemed sad. All he has left now is his hundreds of millions of dollars.

  112. SayItWithWookies says at 11:06 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    chascates: Nope — TPM’s scoreboard has it tied up with 38% reporting. Save some for when it’s legal, son.

  113. couchbound says at 11:14 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    the problem child: That’s awesome, and it’s not just a typo, either. They included the “American Nightmare” subtitle. Whoops!

  114. mollymcguire says at 11:15 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    Dear Gov. Corzine:

    I’m sorry. You deserve better.

    Molly McGuire

  115. In Maine, 51% of precincts are reporting. Anti gay marriage side is ahead by 1900 votes.

    http://www.bangordailynews.com/electionresults.html

  116. Jukesgrrl says at 11:15 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    TVarmy: One of the first times I visited New Jersey, I asked a station attendant why I wasn’t allowed to pump my own gas. I’ll never forget his eloquent reply, “‘Cause people was catchin’ theirselves on fie-ah!”

  117. SayItWithWookies says at 11:15 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    shadowMark: Oh, dear:

    “wondering if VA and NJ wins foreshadows [sic] 2012 and still waiting to hear about Maine and marriage equality…”
    (http://twitter.com/McCainBlogette/status/5411472417)

    You know she’s a real conservative ’cause she can hold two completely incompatible ideas in her head and not notice the disjunction. Like cutting taxes and increasing spending. Like letting your ISP block you from visiting sites and calling it internet freedom. Like hoping a win for the Republicans improves the chances that gay marriage will become legal. Like talking in vague terms about your sex life and thinking anyone cares.

  118. Yes on 1 just pulled out to a big lead in Maine. 58% precincts reporting, Yes ahead by 8832

  119. President Beeblebrox says at 11:21 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    chascates: Rut-roh, the wingnut Maine counties must have reported in - the blueberry lands around the Canadian border, or maybe Salem’s Lot? Suddenly teh gais are down by 11,000.

    REJECT SAME-SEX MARRIAGE LAW
    Yes 182360 51.58%
    No 171171 48.42%

  120. Gay marriage is dying in Maine. Behind by a little over 11,000 votes right now.

  121. chascates says at 11:22 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    It’ll be interesting to see if Christie solves New Jersey’s financial woes merely by cutting taxes. And Virginia may be the first place to have a state agency in charge of preparing for the Rapture.
    Before long these bastards will put Jesus on the dollar bill and Rush Limbaugh on Mount Rushmore.

  122. gossipgirl says at 11:25 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    Is Portland in yet?

  123. Jukesgrrl says at 11:28 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    FMA: I had a funny experience with the opposite opinion. I was hosting a friend who was visiting NJ from Germany. We were going to a concert in Philly and drove there, most of the way on the more bucolic parts of 295. From the minute we crossed the state line into PA, it was typical PennDOT chaos: endless construction, detours, potholes, driving on the berm, and not an inch from the state line to the parking lot that didn’t have an orange cone on it. As I finally found an empty parking space, the German guy turned to me and said, “What American would live in Pennsylvania when they could live in New Jersey?”

  124. PabaBritannica says at 11:29 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    Hey, Charlotte has a Dem mayor now, folks. This being the city that gave my home state Sue Myrick and every single person to ever lose the Governor’s election.

  125. chascates says at 11:34 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    Now we’ll have to listen to shit such as this (from NewsMax):

    Obama Election Defeat Termed ‘Astonishing’
    The Obama freight train that has been steamrolling American politics ever since his election one year ago ran squarely into a political brick wall Tuesday night, as Democrats suffered stunning setbacks in Virginia and New Jersey gubernatorial races.

    and

    Rove said: “Bob McDonnell is a Reaganite with a sunny demeanor and a moderate personality.
    That clearly hurt the Democrats,” Krauthammer said. “It feeds into the idea of the Obama administration over-reading the mandate of 2008.

  126. Gay marriage behind by almost 14,000 votes in Maine

    Sorry, Maine gays :(

    Another gay-related ballot measure to watch is R-71 in Washington.

  127. magic titty says at 11:41 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    The people from Maine do know voting against same-sex marriage is faggoty, right?

  128. El Pinche says at 11:43 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    OK LIBTARDS THE WINDS OF CHANGE ARE COMING OFF THE FLAPPING WINGS OF 1000000 ANGRY PATREOT FREEDOM EAGALS. TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT WE BIGINS TO GET OUR CUNTRY BACK FROM THE USERPER KENYAN FIEND! NOW WE CAN BACK TO CONTINUINNG WHERE THE GREAT LEADER GOERGE W BUSH LEFT OFF, DOWN THE SPIRRALING TUNNEL OF CAPITALISM INTO THE WARM BROWN WATERS OF RACELESS GOD-FILLED LIBERTY.

  129. JimNewell says at 11:45 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    NU THREAD

  130. El Pinche says at 11:51 pm, November 3rd, 2009

    DONT TREAD ON ME!!!

  131. joeybrill says at 1:03 am, November 4th, 2009

    HUG THE EARF!

  132. Extemporanus says at 3:34 am, November 4th, 2009

    the problem child: Earlier this evening, and apropos of nothing (or, perhaps, nachos), I happened to remark to my wife that it was only a matter of time before some quasi-legit outfit accidently pulled a “Rouge”. That it was FoxNews.com is almost too cute by half.

    As of right now (which, judging by the time stamp of the first comment, is at least 10 hours after the story was originally posted), this inadvertent episode of editorial truth telling still stands.

    I grabbed a screen shot, and sent a tip to blackhole@wonkette.com on your behalf.

    (I can only imagine the number of similarly mistaken, mis-ordering morans that await Amazon in its future. HA!)

  133. zhubajie says at 5:24 am, November 4th, 2009

    TVarmy: Do the gas pumpers smoke? That might add some excitement?

  134. zhubajie says at 5:35 am, November 4th, 2009

    George Oscar Bluth: Maybe he can roll to work every day.

  135. schvitzatura says at 5:38 am, November 4th, 2009

    JMP: Suspensor belt-tech à la Baron V. Harkonnen…

    he’ll need it when he goes hiking the AT in Wawayanda…we need to see lots of Santorumesque tears

  136. norbizness says at 8:29 am, November 4th, 2009

    PabaBritannica: Wasn’t Harvey Gantt mayor of Charlotte before being subjected to the Jesse Helms racist campaign machine?

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