Wonkette
Bill Clinton would rather be a dead President than an alive non-President, he announced, apropos of let’s just say nothing in Istanbul on Monday. “It’s good that we have a (term) limit. Otherwise I would have stayed until I was carried away in a coffin. Or defeated in an election.” Six in one, half dozen in the other though. Anyway, Michael Bloomberg will now buy and destroy all New York’s coffins. [Reuters]
It would have been better on 9/12 (I don’t care what Beck thinks) if we’d had a pres who we knew was getting his D wet instead of repressed Christ-lover with a hard on for action thrillers.
YOU SHALL NOT PASS!
if you were getting dome in the oval office from an intern, you’d feel the same
Who is this Bill Clinton? I thought Ronald Reagan was president until January 20, 2009.
Holybalheadedchrist: don’t forget “dry drunk”
hunter.blatherer: St. Ronnie of Reagan will always be preznit, in our hearts, forever. Also. Because of America!
Holybalheadedchrist: 9/12 wouldn’t even matter; if we’d had the president who tried to warn his replacement that Al Quaeda would be his biggest national security threat rather than the guy who responded to the “Bin Laden determined to strike US” briefing with “Now you’ve covered your ass”, 9/11 would probably just be another day on the calendar.
Ooh, “Fatso,” starring Dom DeLuise. The opening scene with the large-boned individual being buried in an actual piano crate, am I right? Good times!
We all wish he had been aware that how he conducted himself in office might have an effect on his VP’s chances of getting himself elected in 2000. We might not be in the shithole we’re trying to dig out of right now, if he had.
AggieDemocrat: It’s mourning in America.
germansteel: Ah, screw Al Gore. If he hadn’t run away from Clinton’s record, he’d have won easily. And he probably would have been a crummy president; guy has Jimmy Carter/Herbert Hoover written all over him — smart guys with no leadership ability. Better than W, of course, but that’s a very low bar.
germansteel: Three words: Vice President Lieberman.
Different shithole.
AggieDemocrat: And the troops! Also.
President for Life! Wait, that’s Hugo Chavez.
FlownOver:
True dat.
HoboNutz: Is “getting dome” some new young people thing?
proudgrampa: Perhaps a new term, but I doubt very much if it’s a new thing. As it says in Leviticus, “There is nothing new between the sheets.”
Et tu, Reuters?
OK, I’m no fan of Clinton, which has nothing to do with Monica Lewinsky, but is it really accurate of Reuters to say, much less headline the piece with, “Bill Clinton wishes he had left White House ‘in a coffin’?”
It makes me picture Clinton at W’s inauguration as a vampire. Kinda like Cheney at Obama’s inauguration in a wheelchair. Only with more human blood.
Wait.
Bill really should stop tempting Hillary that way; she has access to weapons.
Katydid: If you can read German, don’t miss War on Terra coverage in the German press, like you need telling because it kicks so much ass. It’s so refreshingly free of euphemism.
The account of the Italian journalist’s attempted assassination with a US-made anti-materiel rifle is truly a thing of beauty. “American military checkpoint” never, ever appeared in English when describing why the car slowed down along a straight piece of road, giving the sniper plenty of time to line up his shot.
Anyway, Reuters lost their share of correspondents to, for example, Browning .50 cal tank guns, for the very good reason that minicams look just like RPGs at 100 meters. Bonus points for focussing on the American tank in question, then having the camera tumble like a meteor shower while the cameraman is cut in half.
What? An ex-President has a jackoff fantasy about being elected rock star for life? Shit, I thought there was something important going on. Sorry to stray off topic! I’m like, duh!
I wonder if Bill had anything to do with this exciting bit o’ news:
Arkansas-based Walmart announced last week that they’re going to start selling coffins in a variety of widths and styles.
Please note the name of one of the experts quoted in the article: Dick Coffin.
Isn’t that slang for an AIDS-y vagina, or something? Regardless, he and his wife Sue are authors of non-fiction funeral and estate planning.
He’s still getting all the snatch & cheeseburgers he can handle.
Yeah, more years of record growth and unchallenged global supremacy.
That would have sucked.
“We are here to serve you.”
Those are pressure cookers!
Lazy Media: I really do get tired of this shitty dumping on Al Gore. I think the man has since proved what kind of president he would have been and then some. That he is nowehere near as charasmatic as Clinton didn’t mean shit. Dubya was charasmatic, too. Lot of good that did us.
FlownOver: Lieberman wouldn’t have become the nasty, nasty toad he is, today, if Al Gore wouldn’t have conceeded, period.
Really, I don’t know where you guys are getting this shit from. If I wanted more Maureen Dowd bile, I’d read her column regularly.
BTW, Bill’s still got it. I love how he just came out all gangsta and said that if he’d been allowed he’d have been president-for-life. Only he could get away with saying something like that, and that’s because he’s right.
Can anyone even imagine how stupid Clinton would have made Dubya look if Clinton had had the chance to run against Bush-Cheney? My god, it would have been a bloodbath. Bill have sent that little bitch cryin’ back to his daddy.