About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell


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  • Tommmcatt

    Tim Curry is not now, nor has he ever been, very butch.

  • freakishlystrong

    Fer fucks sake, I’m a straight woman and I’m considering a sex change so I can be a gay man…

  • SayItWithWookies

    He’s right, anything can happen. In fact, around midnight I’ll probably be turning into a bar.

    [re=447636]Tommmcatt[/re]: Don’t be mean to Gay Donny Osmond.

  • Atheist Nun

    1. David Bowie looks weird in this… I mean, Tim Curry looks like a cross between Peter Murphy and Colonel Sanders in this.
    2. The 80’s really fucking sucked.

  • rocktonsammy

    Halloween has always been an excuse for a gay pride parade in the fall.

    Except, I love the Snickers.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=447636]Tommmcatt[/re]: He’s a bat out of hellooo, Dolly!

    [re=447638]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Don’t be redundant.

  • PoignancySelz

    I’m still scared of Y2K, also.

  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=447646]Extemporanus[/re]: Marie would disagree with you.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=447648]SayItWithWookies[/re]: There’s an Osmond Family Saying: “Any Mormon in a storm.”

    Or is that “Any port in a Mormon”? I can never remember…

  • Naked Bunny with a Whip

    Ah, Halloween. The one day of the year when wearing fursuits is socially acceptable.

  • BeWoot

    Second? Sure. Straight? Not so much.

  • nyhfrog

    Who pitched this? And why didn’t they use more Cocaine in shoot and post?…I mean it was the eighties for Chrissake! It would have only helped.

  • Aurelio

    Bah, humbug!

  • chascates

    Too dangerous to go out.
    I’ll just lay around the shanty and put a good buzz on.

  • Sharkey

    If Anything = (Peg Noonancy article on Wonkett) then this video will not be a waste.

  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=447654]Extemporanus[/re]: You can’t put port in a Mormon — they have rules against that. Caffeine, too.

  • bago

    Allrighty. Time to make me costume and scare people.

  • Car Ramrod

    Ah yes. I remember this movie. It was like an early Harry Potter, but with a production budget of $3.82. I watched the shit out of it when I was a kid. Now I’m a gay vampire (I-CT), too.

  • user-of-owls

    [re=447654]Extemporanus[/re]: [re=447683]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Any S’more in La Petit Mort-mon?

  • ifthethunderdontgetya”

    Doggy Halloween.

    They (the dogs) looked pretty happy, on the whole.

  • user-of-owls

    They (the dogs) looked pretty happy, on the whole.

    Someone must have gone to the event dressed as a Virginia Dept. of Corrections officer.

  • Jim89048
  • jetjaguar

    so THATS what a blingee movie would look like…

  • bago

    Alright. I made the costume. PH34R!

  • Potater

    This used to be one of my favorite songs of the season when I was a child.

    Years later I would go on to suck dick. Total coincidence, I’m sure.

  • ifthethunderdontgetya”

    [re=447692]user-of-owls[/re]: No, peeples in Ohio are just naturally fat. I should know, I moved here from skinny NYC.

    (Realizing I’m not actually responding to your point, and just whinging, etc.)


  • Guppy06
  • S.Luggo

    [re=447703]Jim89048[/re]: ?

    Could be worse.
    Then, on all All Saint’s Eve, to roam select bistros along the East Coast:
    And who indeed are we to question?

  • Mahousu

    I’ll see your Tim Curry and raise you one Bobby Conn.

    It’s not exactly a Halloween video, but it’s not exactly not one, either.

  • Mad Brahms

    [re=447703]Jim89048[/re]: It’s the war on the… opposite of Christmas! Next thing you know they’ll start calling them “holiday pumpkins”, I swear.

  • hobospacejunkie

    Oh sweet pig-fucking jeezus I hope my candy hasn’t been cursed!

  • Jim89048

    [re=447733]Mad Brahms[/re]: Not to mention all the witches praying over the Halloween candy. Thanks for that one, Unka Pat…

  • Terry

    To the end of that clip, I was hoping he’d fling open that cape to reveal a corset and stockings.

  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=447689]user-of-owls[/re]: Hm, that might be a bit of a reach. Like when the Rastafarian who played reggae in obscurity for years suddenly got a hit, with his first check he went to buy a sportscar and said, “Any Porsche in the store, mon.”

  • Zorg

    God, is it possible for a good looking, singing queen to be that boring? I guess it can…

  • new complexnegro


  • El Pinche
  • El Pinche
  • RoscoePColtraine

    [re=447782]El Pinche[/re]: Now I’m craving virgin blood. What have you turned me into, Pinchy?

  • iolanthe

    [re=447733]Mad Brahms[/re]: Uberchristians already call them “harvest pumpkins”, and call the day “Harvest Festival”, apparently not realizing that “Hallowe’en” is *already* the Christianized name for the day.

    End the War on Hallowe’en!

  • El Pinche

    [re=447805]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: ACORNZ. JOIN US. YES WE CAN . YES WE CAN…

  • fatherfigure

    Unspeakably depressing.

  • Jim89048

    Only had one crack baby come begging, so I loaded him up with a shitload of candy and turned out the lights. I hope his parents have fun tying him down tonight.

  • Egregious

    Looks like Tim Curry left a little treat in his pants at 1:15.