DAILY BRIEFING  8:40 am October 30, 2009

Top-Secret Congressional Ethics Thing Found On Public Network And Emailed To Washington Post

by Juli Weiner

  • Someone accidentally left a document detailing ongoing Congressional ethics violations investigations on a public computer network. The Word paperclip would have advised against this. [Washington Post]
  • The deposed president of Honduras has been temporarily undeposed by the de facto government. Legitimacy has been totally restored to government there, clearly. [New York Times]
  • The Philadelphia-based (and Boston-based, for that matter) sports enthusiasts did not enjoy last night nearly as much as they did Wednesday night. [Philadelphia Inquirer]
  • This Russian tycoon who was forbidden from visiting the US apparently came here twice last year as the personal secret guest of the FBI. [WSJ]
  • A Coast Guard plane and a Marine helicopter crashed into each other off the coast of California this morning. Despite this being the exact fantasy of every toy-owning toddler, rescue authorities are concerned.  [AP]
  • Rhymey former French president Jacques Chirac will be stand trial for corruption and defend some corrupt-seeming things he did while mayor of Paris. [Times Online]
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chascates October 30, 2009 at 8:46 am

Now Charlie Rangel doesn’t feel so lonely. DOZENS are under investigation.

hobospacejunkie October 30, 2009 at 8:55 am

Congressional ethics investigations — is this that thing where congressmen & women investigate each other & then find nothing because they’re all such swell friends? Unless a court has already convicted that person. Then the committee mysteriously grows some balls.

When I was a kid I had a long plastic toy boat. I used to pretend it was the Titanic & sink it, over & over. I didn’t have much imagination.

ForTheTurnstiles October 30, 2009 at 9:03 am

Don’t conceal your tragic flaw
Give Jacques Chirac a call
Come quickly to see the scene
Got everything that you need…


hobospacejunkie October 30, 2009 at 9:08 am

Ol’ Oleg is kind of like Putin’s economic army, flying around Europe buying up vital industries in countries & then putting them at Putin’s service. Not bad work if you can get it. Berezovsky probably wishes he’d thought of doing that.

PlanetWingnuta October 30, 2009 at 9:10 am

where is every congressman/woman/person/cousin it’s birth certificate!!!!!!!!

the problem child October 30, 2009 at 9:12 am

Oooh! More pornographic baseball writing!

Eric Cheney October 30, 2009 at 9:18 am

I’m sure that every mayor of Paris has found himself saying, “But she said she was fourteen”.

JMP October 30, 2009 at 9:20 am

“The Philadelphia-based (and Boston-based, for that matter) sports enthusiasts”

Please, don’t remind us that the world’s most annoying sports fans, those of the most obnoxious baseball team in the country, are cheering for us, just because our opponent is the second-most obnoxious team.

Terry October 30, 2009 at 9:23 am

“Despite this being the exact fantasy of every toy-owning toddler, rescue authorities are concerned.”

Naw, only about 50% of toy owning toddlers.

bitchincamaro October 30, 2009 at 9:29 am

You wrote “Congressional ethics”, hehe.

My advice to deposed Zelaya: stay deposed. Costa Rica is paradise compared to Honduras. Fewer natural disasters, as well.

Thechansen October 30, 2009 at 9:30 am

Interesting sidenote about Clippy of Microsoft Office fame: If you type for three sentances in Capslock, he will ask if you are trying to send an email from AOL. At this point spellcheck is turned off, clip art of watermelons are inserted, and the Microsoft mind link function turns off the logic center of your brain. It also replaces the word people with sheeple automagically.

gurukalehuru October 30, 2009 at 9:31 am

535 (I think, and I’m not going to look it up)members of Congress, and only 30 are being investigated. Weak tea, indeed.
I think there should be a 4th branch of government, the Investigative Branch. I don’t know whether the members should be elected, appointed or chosen by lot, I don’t know if they should serve for 2 years, 4 years or life, but they should be paid per conviction.
That is all.

P Drizzle October 30, 2009 at 9:34 am

I totes don’t root for the Spanish commies but you know Jim Demint’s little hard-on just shrank to like -2 inches.

gurukalehuru October 30, 2009 at 9:43 am

Buen trabajo, Hilaria! maybe.

magic titty October 30, 2009 at 9:43 am

“Despite this being the exact fantasy of every toy-owning toddler, rescue authorities are concerned.”

Juli wins.

bitchincamaro October 30, 2009 at 9:45 am

[re=446866]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: Wow. Two Ween posts in 24 hours. Ween and Wonkette, ketchup and mustard, salt and pepper, etc., etc.

Sweet Baby Cheeses October 30, 2009 at 9:50 am

I guess if Jacques Chirac was black, he would be Black Jacques Chirac and he could battle Bugs Bunny. Using dams.

friendlyskies October 30, 2009 at 9:58 am

RE: Honduras, this is an epic win for Hillary… she played both sides masterfully, considering the complicated situation. Totally yanked the rug out from under Hugo Chavez’ “Bolivarians against the evil imperialists” shtick by “supporting” Zelaya, while effectively keeping Honduras, a key US base in Central America, in pro-US hands, depending on the outcome of the upcoming elections. I’m impressed. Now, if she could get that miserable old zombie Ambassador Robert Callahan to STFU (the Sandinistas’ irritating little gang component, J19, was lobbing mortars at the US embassy yesterday, because Callahan is an absolute moron and said something to the effect that “elections would undermine Nicaraguan democracy” – well put, you prostitute shtupping loser), then I’m going to give her an A- for Latin American policy in her first year. She loses half a letter grade for the fracas about new bases in Colombia, which Hugo is churning into political capital, but that can wait.

I know that wasn’t humorous or snarky, but it’s true. You go, grrrl!

DemmeFatale October 30, 2009 at 10:33 am

Thank you to Phillie fans for “out-douchebagging” Yankee supporters!

mookworthjwilson October 30, 2009 at 10:33 am

[re=446871]JMP[/re]: You guyz are number three…not too bad I would say…

binarian October 30, 2009 at 10:40 am

The Word paperclip would have advised against this

I think the user must’ve had this function shut off. Otherwise Clippy would would have popped up with a warning – “Are you trying to write a career suicide note? “

Lascauxcaveman October 30, 2009 at 10:42 am

[re=446875]Thechansen[/re]: I LOLed.

bago October 30, 2009 at 10:42 am

Pfft. That’s just because Cilppy is F*ing metal. He’s throwing the horns when leaking documents, flipping the bird to the establishment, and bathing in the tears of Mount Rockmore.

proudgrampa October 30, 2009 at 10:46 am

Congressional Ethics: Best Oxymoron of all Time!

Deacon Frank Orris October 30, 2009 at 11:43 am

[re=446922]DemmeFatale[/re]: Unpossible!

AxmxZ October 30, 2009 at 11:48 am

Whoa, holy shit, Deripaska was here? Time to tune into Eho Moskvy for commentary and updates on his health…

TGY October 30, 2009 at 12:12 pm

Jacques and Chirac were two pretty men
They both went to court when the clock counted ten.

doloras October 30, 2009 at 3:32 pm

[re=446905]friendlyskies[/re]: So exactly why should attempting to undermine Hugo Chávez be a #1 goal of US State policy, again? You might recall that Hugo never said a cross word about the US government until they tried to overthrow him in 2002. America alienated Chávez and his movement, and then have tried to make out that he’s some nut who hates America for no good reason. And of course the gullible, who always believe that America is right, who cursed out Dubya Bush but somehow when Hugo did it it was the rantings of an evil dictator, fall for it.

In any case, Hilary didn’t put Zelaya back in office. 120-odd days of mass popular protest and strike action – which never made the media in the US, unlike the unsuccessful Iranian protestors who were On Our Side – did. And that’s a bigger boost for Hugo than anything else. They’ll be overthrowing the 1982 bullshit military-written constitution before you know it.

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