daily briefing

Top-Secret Congressional Ethics Thing Found On Public Network And Emailed To Washington Post

  • Someone accidentally left a document detailing ongoing Congressional ethics violations investigations on a public computer network. The Word paperclip would have advised against this. [Washington Post]
  • The deposed president of Honduras has been temporarily undeposed by the de facto government. Legitimacy has been totally restored to government there, clearly. [New York Times]
  • The Philadelphia-based (and Boston-based, for that matter) sports enthusiasts did not enjoy last night nearly as much as they did Wednesday night. [Philadelphia Inquirer]
  • This Russian tycoon who was forbidden from visiting the US apparently came here twice last year as the personal secret guest of the FBI. [WSJ]
  • A Coast Guard plane and a Marine helicopter crashed into each other off the coast of California this morning. Despite this being the exact fantasy of every toy-owning toddler, rescue authorities are concerned.  [AP]
  • Rhymey former French president Jacques Chirac will be stand trial for corruption and defend some corrupt-seeming things he did while mayor of Paris. [Times Online]

About the author

Juli Weiner was Wonkette's beloved intern and books columnist and then morning editor until she was hired away by Vanity Fair in 2010.

View all articles by Juli Weiner
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28 comments

  1. hobospacejunkie

    Congressional ethics investigations — is this that thing where congressmen & women investigate each other & then find nothing because they’re all such swell friends? Unless a court has already convicted that person. Then the committee mysteriously grows some balls.

    When I was a kid I had a long plastic toy boat. I used to pretend it was the Titanic & sink it, over & over. I didn’t have much imagination.

  2. hobospacejunkie

    Ol’ Oleg is kind of like Putin’s economic army, flying around Europe buying up vital industries in countries & then putting them at Putin’s service. Not bad work if you can get it. Berezovsky probably wishes he’d thought of doing that.

  3. Eric Cheney

    I’m sure that every mayor of Paris has found himself saying, “But she said she was fourteen”.

  4. JMP

    “The Philadelphia-based (and Boston-based, for that matter) sports enthusiasts”

    Please, don’t remind us that the world’s most annoying sports fans, those of the most obnoxious baseball team in the country, are cheering for us, just because our opponent is the second-most obnoxious team.

  5. Terry

    “Despite this being the exact fantasy of every toy-owning toddler, rescue authorities are concerned.”

    Naw, only about 50% of toy owning toddlers.

  6. bitchincamaro

    You wrote “Congressional ethics”, hehe.

    My advice to deposed Zelaya: stay deposed. Costa Rica is paradise compared to Honduras. Fewer natural disasters, as well.

  7. Thechansen

    Interesting sidenote about Clippy of Microsoft Office fame: If you type for three sentances in Capslock, he will ask if you are trying to send an email from AOL. At this point spellcheck is turned off, clip art of watermelons are inserted, and the Microsoft mind link function turns off the logic center of your brain. It also replaces the word people with sheeple automagically.

  8. gurukalehuru

    535 (I think, and I’m not going to look it up)members of Congress, and only 30 are being investigated. Weak tea, indeed.
    I think there should be a 4th branch of government, the Investigative Branch. I don’t know whether the members should be elected, appointed or chosen by lot, I don’t know if they should serve for 2 years, 4 years or life, but they should be paid per conviction.
    That is all.

  9. P Drizzle

    I totes don’t root for the Spanish commies but you know Jim Demint’s little hard-on just shrank to like -2 inches.

  10. magic titty

    “Despite this being the exact fantasy of every toy-owning toddler, rescue authorities are concerned.”

    Juli wins.

  11. bitchincamaro

    [re=446866]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: Wow. Two Ween posts in 24 hours. Ween and Wonkette, ketchup and mustard, salt and pepper, etc., etc.

  12. Sweet Baby Cheeses

    I guess if Jacques Chirac was black, he would be Black Jacques Chirac and he could battle Bugs Bunny. Using dams.

  13. friendlyskies

    RE: Honduras, this is an epic win for Hillary… she played both sides masterfully, considering the complicated situation. Totally yanked the rug out from under Hugo Chavez’ “Bolivarians against the evil imperialists” shtick by “supporting” Zelaya, while effectively keeping Honduras, a key US base in Central America, in pro-US hands, depending on the outcome of the upcoming elections. I’m impressed. Now, if she could get that miserable old zombie Ambassador Robert Callahan to STFU (the Sandinistas’ irritating little gang component, J19, was lobbing mortars at the US embassy yesterday, because Callahan is an absolute moron and said something to the effect that “elections would undermine Nicaraguan democracy” – well put, you prostitute shtupping loser), then I’m going to give her an A- for Latin American policy in her first year. She loses half a letter grade for the fracas about new bases in Colombia, which Hugo is churning into political capital, but that can wait.

    I know that wasn’t humorous or snarky, but it’s true. You go, grrrl!

  14. binarian

    The Word paperclip would have advised against this

    Excellent!!
    I think the user must’ve had this function shut off. Otherwise Clippy would would have popped up with a warning – “Are you trying to write a career suicide note? “

  15. bago

    Pfft. That’s just because Cilppy is F*ing metal. He’s throwing the horns when leaking documents, flipping the bird to the establishment, and bathing in the tears of Mount Rockmore.

  16. AxmxZ

    Whoa, holy shit, Deripaska was here? Time to tune into Eho Moskvy for commentary and updates on his health…

  17. doloras

    [re=446905]friendlyskies[/re]: So exactly why should attempting to undermine Hugo Chávez be a #1 goal of US State policy, again? You might recall that Hugo never said a cross word about the US government until they tried to overthrow him in 2002. America alienated Chávez and his movement, and then have tried to make out that he’s some nut who hates America for no good reason. And of course the gullible, who always believe that America is right, who cursed out Dubya Bush but somehow when Hugo did it it was the rantings of an evil dictator, fall for it.

    In any case, Hilary didn’t put Zelaya back in office. 120-odd days of mass popular protest and strike action – which never made the media in the US, unlike the unsuccessful Iranian protestors who were On Our Side – did. And that’s a bigger boost for Hugo than anything else. They’ll be overthrowing the 1982 bullshit military-written constitution before you know it.

Comments are closed.