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All us crybaby liberals are all crying, “Oh no Barack Obama isn’t being liberal enough about everything, even though he is supposed to be black.” Well now we know the rest of the story: This big old cauliflower brain in the White House is not-so-secretly running everything. And you know what color cauliflower is …. [White House Flickr]
12:12 PM
on Thu October 29 2009
By
Mizz Wonkette
1522 Views
Wonkette
OMG, that’s the mushroom cloud warning that Condoleezza predicted!
You can tell its a liberal cauliflower brain because of its lack of spine.
If I were the most powerful brain in the world, I would want to be in one of those Futurama head-jars
Willow?
WHO IS THIS “MIZZ WONKETTE” PERSON?
I got teh tamari!
who is Mizz Wonkette?
You know who else’s brain they saved in a jar…
p.s. Is Mizz Wonkette the winner of some kind of pundit contest?
The Metropolitan Opera is blacker than that. Also, Hi Ken! How’s the beach? You just come in for a shower or what?
Mizz Wonkette again!
(It’s just Ken dressed like the Wonkette caricature for Halloween, or something.)
I still think it’s Ana.
“10,000 quatloos for the newcomer. We’ll teach those thralls what free society really means.”
Could be worse. Rahm could be running things.
Giant Brain Spawn: Foolish human race! Organizing your knowledge by category just made it easier to absorb. Dewey, you fool! Your decimal system has played right into my hands!
Damn — and I thought the hydrangeas were the brains behind the last administration.
shortsshortsshorts: SmutBoffin: El Kabong: Did Ken meet a special someone on his California dessert whatever trek and bring her home to lord over the wonkette minions (ie Riley)?
“Feed me, Seymore! Feed me the blood of a dentist-lawyer-real estate agent!”
Mizz Wonkette is really SkoalRebel, y’all!
Wasn’t that thing in a Star Trek episode? All it needs is Kirk doing a ground-roll behind it.
queeraselvis v 2.0: ha,ha, I saw Kirk and Spock recently- alive(in a manner of speaking)
SmutBoffin: Categories? I thought we just randomly walk through chaos looking for keywords…
SayItWithWookies: Nope. That would be this little lovely.
Ha ha ha. Star Trek references. Frodo’s gay!
The solution to the mystery is in the alt-text. That’s all I’ll say.
GuaranFuckingTee you Cheney is behind this thing, somehow.
Oh shit the giant brains have landed! Only Sarah Palin is stupider enough to resist their moronowave!
I am dressing up as Mizz Wonkett for halloweenie.
“I can leave my brain on the table and still outsmart McConnell, Boehner and that Cantor twink, too.”
germansteel: Thank you for being the first to play the game (correctly.) Unfortunately, having just woken up, I am unable to join you. My back is so stiff I can’t stand up straight.
Redhead: I think it should be e.g., Riley, no???
shortsshortsshorts:
Intern Riley was inspired by the high heel race.
Uh oh. If this is true, then the other night I might have offended a member of el Cauliflower Presidente’s family.
And by “might have offended” I mean “tear apart with my bare hands before incinerating in the oven. With olive oil.”
PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT: The term “liberal” can no longer be used as it doesn’t carry the oomph it used to. The correct term now for people on the left is “socialist” or if especially egregious “marxist.” Thank you for your attention to this matter. We now return you to your regularly scheduled broadcast.
Cauliflower? Nah. That’s a phosphate straight from Pop’s sodium shop. Hand me a straw.
Rumors of Obama’s blackness are highly exaggerated. And it could be worse: it could be a turnip brain.
drewonline: i.e. = in other words, e.g. = for example, right? Or did I get them mixed up?
“Back when I was in JFK’s head, Jackie made me listen to Pablo Casals in this dreadful room instead of hitting the Sands with Marilyn — could you drop a couple aspirin in the vase?”
Mashed colly flower also makes an excellent, low-carb substitute for mashed potatoes. That diet guy who slipped on the ice told me.
RoscoePColtraine: I haven’t seen The Whiz in thirty years. Please explain.
Who’s the guy tuning his guitar on the far left?
The puzzlement of Mizz Wonkette’s true identity. Since both posts have been after 12 noon, that would make both Layne and Newell possibles, and Juli less likely since she would have been drinking steady since 6:00 am. I was leaning towards Newell, in sensible pumps not high heels like Riley, but all he boyz would be using cauliflower ears for the metaphor, not brains. Binarian’s got a possible with the Emeritus Ed Ana. Mahybee, just mahybee our beloved Eds have pulled some super coup and landed someone special. Mmmm, Bristol Palin?
Good god! Is that Cheney with a rifle over on the left, behind the curtain?!?
ChernobylSoup v2: Note the craftsmanship there. No, seriously, Newell’s alt-text consists of four or five words max, NEVER about anything Broadway, IF he bothers at all. Juli, well, who knows, for all the samples we have to go on. Now it’s just a simple process of elimination. And a well-trained eye for these things….
Actually, cauliflower comes in several colors, now:
http://www.nytimes.com/1988/06/07/science/science-watch-cauliflower-with-color.html
I, personally, prefer purple.
“People who wrestle with a lot of weighty decisions often develop cauliflower brain. Just try not to stare.”
SmutBoffin: “I am the greetest! Now I am leaving Earth forever, for no raisin!”
blinky_twinkie: That’s Spock tuning his Vulcan harp, just like in, remember, season one, episode seven, “Charlie X,” when Spock and Uhura are improvising that “Oh Enterprise” song and Charlie is hot for Yeoman Rand. Yeah. This is the coolest fucking White House ever! Space! TOS rules!
Redhead: i.e. = that is
RoscoePColtraine: Roscoe’s saying it’s Sara, I think.
yellowdogdem: or in Latin “id est”
binarian: and e.g. = exempli gratia
Latin geek fest!
I have seen that brain before…
http://eccentric-cinema.com/cult_movies/brain_arous.htm
if you have active speakers at work you might want to turn them down.
The Psychic Fern is gonna be pissed.
/obscure
Brains are fer eatin’.
The Wiz is the hint? Zombie Michael Jackson is Mizz Wonkette, obvs.
Or Diana Ross.
blinky_twinkie: Looks to me like Michael Steele hung himself from the drapes. Or is that just wishful thinking?
RoscoePColtraine: Okay, I get what you’re saying: so Ken Layne fucked Ana Marie Cox and they had a black baby they named Dianna Ross. Dianna became friends with a pedophillic tin man who introduced her to Sara K Smith. Sara, through Dianna’s connections, went to work with Ken and Ana until she too had a black baby. However, unlike Ana, they allowed Sara to come back and post during her maternity leave as long as she used a pseudonym (’cause of that family leave medical act thing).
Why didn’t you just say so?
I think both i.e. and e.g. would work in reference to the Wonkette minions, although the implications would be slightly different. … i.e. Riley, would imply that Riley is the sum total of the Wonkette minions, while … e.g. Riley allows other minions to exist.
I suspect that i.e. was used correctly.
bitchincamaro:
Right you are Bitchin
http://consumerist.com/5161202/the-worst-food-product-ever-may-have-been-found
They’re flowers ferchrissake…why can’t we just have something nice for once?
Is that a document with a bottle of wite-out(TM) on it just behind the flowers?
finallyhappy: OMG you found the long-form birf sertifikat!
Redhead: pretty close. i.e.= id est, or “the thing is”; e.g. = exempli gratia, or “for example.”
Monsieur Grumpe: Yow!
John Zacherle knew all about cauliflower brains when he hosted Chiller Theater from his secret laboratory under Times Square eons ago (conveniently shown on NYC’s Channels 9 and 11 at various times. The “cool ghoul” attempted to transfer the brain of Albert Shanker into a cauliflower one day. The cauliflower refused to cooperate. Jeez…I really am that old.
Naked Bunny with a Whip: Your name is cecilweed you goddamn animal, i ought to take you out back and make you beat yourself with a rusty rake in the shed. get off the shed! for the love of god just get off the damn shed! oh man i am really tripping out here. i think my hands are made of wood, here have a feel, Jeffy me lad!
If W. would have allowed a head of cauliflower to run the country from 2001 to 2008, we would be in much better shape now.
getoffmylawn: I loved that guy! I am old but I have a job, no STDs and a paid off mortgage- so I am better than the Youngz
I bet Mizz Wonkette is the default author name for their template, and someone’s forgotten to change it to theirs.
The green vase doesn’t go in the Blue Room. That Michelle can’t match anything.
ha ha ha the green Cauliflower Brain is in the white house pot…… http://bit.ly/fwoLy