And so continues the most sordid tale in the history of Earth, in which Sarah Palin and Levi Johnston argue publicly about who called Trig Palin a “retard,” how many times, and with what inflection. You’ll recall that yesterday, Levi went on teevee, uhh, some show, let’s say game one of the World Series, in which someone—probably Derek Jeter—asked him whether or not it was true that Palin called Trig a “retard” constantly. He affirmed! Now Meg Stapleton is like, “Yeah, nice try, except impossible, because were too busy calling Trig a ‘blessed little angel’ to call him a retard.” No but like actually.
So here’s the “she said” part of this thrilling melee:
“We have purposefully ignored the mean spirited, malicious and untrue attacks on our family,” Palin spokeswoman Meg Stapleton said in the e-mail, on which Palin’s lawyer Thomas Van Flein was copied. “We, like many, are appalled at the inflammatory statements being made or implied. Trig is our ‘blessed little angel’ who knows it and is lovingly called that every day of his life. Even the thought that anyone would refer to Trig by any disparaging name is sickening and sad.”
Stapleton went on to blast Johnston, who is preparing for a photo shoot with Playgirl magazine, as desperate for publicity.
“Consider the source of the most recent attention-getting lies – those who would sell their body for money reflect a desperate need for attention and are likely to say and do anything for even more attention,” she said.
It’s… entirely possible Meg Stapleton has never met Sarah Palin is the take-away from all this.
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Thank you, Levi and Sarah, for injecting tabloid-style minutia into the American political landscape.
Hello, pot? Kettle called and wants its black back.
This TMZ-like addiction to these miscreants is more unsightly than the effect of crystal meth addiction on a Nebraska cracker’s teeth.
As User of Owls brilliantly pointed out yesterday – this kid is evolving. Something tells me he’s got the goods in this Sarah Palin person.
Trig knows that he’s their “blessed little angel”? The kid’s one, not even old enough to talk; even if he had a normal brain he wouldn’t know anything yet. And it’s really hard to believe that “we” call him that incredibly stupid, cheesy nickname every single day; I hope for the kids’ sake it’s not true.
Retarded kids know that they are blessed little angels? How profoundly ironic, or typically Palin-esque double-talk.
Sarah: Look at me!
Levi: Look at me!
Repeat endlessly…
Consider the source of the most recent attention-getting lies – those who would sell their body for money reflect a desperate need for attention and are likely to say and do anything for even more attention, she said.
I think this is the best summary of the 2008 Presidential election that I’ve heard yet (aside from Nate Silver and his math numbers).
Is Megtard confused about iconography again? Who is really a little angel? http://tinyurl.com/yhnb4rh
Is it just me, or does Trig seem to be the least retarded of the whole bunch?
Blessed? As in, THE LORD made him that way? Wow, I hope I’m never blessed, this “God” person sounds like one sick fuck. Idiots – all around.
[re=446094]the problem child[/re]: Oh, and blingee away, Great Old Ones!
Since When Is ‘Angel’ Synonymous With ‘Retard’?
Uhhh…when anyone from Wasilla is involved?
[re=446094]the problem child[/re]: Why is she about to push those kids into the creek?
If this is satire it is fucking brilliant.
Oh Blessed Little Angel! It’s time for breakfast! Get your mother, Glorious Gift, and her sisters, Joy-of-my-Life and Shining Heavenly Star, downstairs and to the table! Tell that deadbeat brother of yours, Saintly Harmony Song, to get his *ss out of bed already!
Needs more cowbell.
(Apologies. I couldn’t resist.)
Retard is better than Shit fer Brains. Levi is just jealous.
Can we just compromise and call him a retarded little angel, or a blessed little retard?
[re=446099]Mahousu[/re]: To keep them from being hit by lightning.
Hey! At least his name isn’t “weiner”. That would be so funny tho! Ha ho ha!
Is this a preview of 2012? Let’s hope so.
Levi is selling his body? Like, for parts? Or hard labor, maybe? There’s a market for both, but he’ll need to choose one or the other.
Yahoo Answers has already addressed this question, by the way. However, Crowpath disagrees with their answer.
I can’t wait until Levi reveals the details about the night he and snowbilly bumped uglies.
Boy, that kid’s going to have trouble in school.
Teacher taking attendance:
“Sally Smith?” – “Here”
“John Peterson?” – “Here”
“Blessed Little Angel Palin?…..what the fuck kind of name is that???”
Is ‘blessed little angel’ a synonym for ‘handy political TV prop?’
[re=446097]the problem child[/re]: No, Blingee-ing that would only render it ordinary, instead of the steaming pile of graphic excrement that it is. Wouldn’t change a thing.
Just from a read on body language, vocal inflections and demeanor–I am convinced young Levi was telling the truth.
This is all leading up to a pay-per-view Grudge Fuck.
Selling his body? Wasn’t Sarah Palin in a beauty pageant years ago? Or am I just making that shit up? I very well could be…
[re=446092]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: I’ll happily look at Levi all day long, thank you!
[re=446117]jinxykb[/re]: Just based on my knowledge that when TardMom’s lips are moving she is lying makes me believe young Levi was telling the truth.
[re=446105]x111e7thst[/re]: Oh god…lol…I just wet ‘em!
Because nobody else has: also.
For some reason, whenever I hear “retard” and “Palin” in the same sentence, I automatically assume we’re talking about Sarah.
“…those who would sell their body for money reflect a desperate need for attention and are likely to say and do anything for even more attention.” Last I heard, he’s supposed to appear nekkid on a web site. Since when is that “selling” your body? I suppose it could be called advertising, but not really a sale…
Uhh, did anybody else notice that Meg Stapleton referred to the Palins as “our family”?
Considering that uneducated people don’t use the term “Down Syndrome” for children like Trig, I’d say Sarah is likely to have used the word retarded.
[re=446118]Meth Lab For Cutie[/re]: Oh, yes, ML4C!
You are a genius.
“Don King, Don Cornelius, and Donny Osmond present the Wasilla Fuck’n'Chuck 2009.
“Sunday, Sunday, SUNDAY!” (like the monster truck rallys)
“A tag team grudgefuck from the Yukon. Sponsored by Monster Energy drink, Vanson Leathers, and KY Lubricant.”
(Glen Beck is the ref.)
“In this corner, weighing in at 129 pounds, Her Honor, the former Governor of Alaska, Miss Sarah Palin.”
(crowd roars as palin shadow boxes, sprays final pint of enema into bucket. Megan McCain gives pep talk, applies lube to guv’s bum, etc., in preparation for the match)
“And in this corner, weighing in at 178 pounds, with eight inches of uncut Alaskan pipeline, the Reverend Doctor Levi Johnson.”
(ding-ding)
(Pan back to medical exam table with stirrups)
If Trig were a normal American’s child he(she?) would be called aborted not retarded. It’s her kid, she can call him(her?) whatever she wants, including Trig.
If you find Sarah Palin coverage amusing you can show your appreciation to her by donating to The Alaska Fund Trust, the official website for the Governor Sarah Palin legal expense fund.
Round one goes pretty well. Nothing out of the ordinary for these things. Camera pans across celebs at ringside, some of whom look bored. Reese Witherspoon checks her blackberry. Jack Nicholson is sweating like Chris Farley. Spike Lee is furious and sreaming at Glen Beck, the ref. His date, Greta van Sustren, tries to calm him down. Chris Rock looks bored for the first time in his life.
“We’re not even going to comment on this horrible abuse of our family by that man-whore who publicly accuses us of calling are retarded child a “retard” because he’s a man-whore. Nope. Not gonna comment on that at all.”
I think irony also has a different meaning in Wasilla, also.
Sarah would never sell her body for money, unless you mean her runner’s body with the cleavage enticingly pushed forward and up for the benefit of a magazine photographer.
Back when I was a kid “We have purposefully ignored…” would not have been followed by the statements “sickening and sad” and “sell their body.” But we didn’t have touch dial phones or VCR’s either, so we live in a better world today.
Well, as long as they aren’t emasculating him.
[re=446147]Mr Blifil[/re]: It’s not a sale. It’s a rental.
[re=446138]yankee[/re]: ok, ok – i’ll split the take with you.
I think the name Trig is pretty retarded.
[re=446156]professionalcynic[/re]: The name Trig is proof that he’s really Bristol’s kid. He’s named after a high school math class, after all.
Anybody besides me think that Sarah Palin going around asking “where’s my retarded baby” is funny? Whether it’s true or not, the idea of it makes me chuckle.
[re=446127]Jim Demintia[/re]: YES. Ms Stapleton to be portrayed by Rebecca de Mornay.
One of these days, Trig will be old enough to say to his momma, “Bitch, you named me Trig? And you’re calling me retarded?”
Read Stapleton’s quote very carefully: Palin hasn’t denied Levi’s specific charge!
I’ll bet the extended Palin family (including her publicist, apparently) does call Trig “our blessed little angel” at least once every day. That doesn’t mean that Sarah hasn’t called Trig something a little less adorable every now and then. I mean, what parent hasn’t muttered similar things under their breath about their little darlings after they poop their britches or the like?
Pallins Family Values.
[re=446094]the problem child[/re]: The Water Witch! This is the day she claimed little meggie stapelton and tommy van lawyerguy.
[re=446111]Mahousu[/re]:
Apparently what Heaven lacks in retardation, Yahoo Answers is making up for on Earth.
the snowbunny uses everyone as a prop, including levi. the kid has the goods on her. my moneies on the kid.
my money is on the kid.
fixed!
late nite watching my Phils!
[re=446160]AnSnarkist[/re]: and Bristol is named for what her mother drank by the bottle during that pregnancy. “was ginna call her Harvey if she’d been a boy retard.”
I think “Blessed Little Angel” is the most retarded name since, well…Trig. If you didn’t want us to make fun of him, you should have named him Steve.
I think Trig Palin is just jealous because he’s NOT going to be in an upcoming issue of Playboy. Settle down Triggy… at the rate you’re going, you’ll get a turn as well.
You should have heard the way she’d greet Todd when he came home: “Where’s my retarded baby? Where’s Toddy?”
Also….SPILL, LEVI, you evil, gossip filled bastard! My schadenfreude must be fed!
Concerning the “blessed little angel” retch-inducing term of endearment: in olden days, they referred to mentally deficient people as “touched,” as in “touched by god.” The Palin intelligence level of our wonderful country know it as “tetched.”
Where I come from, when the lowlifes wanted to describe a simple-minded person, they would say, “he’s a little tetched.”
Lesson over.
My take-away from this is that almost all of Meg Stapleton’s press thingies would instantly be denunciations of Sarah Palin with a maximum of two words changed. THIS one is a stern indictment of Palin simply as-is.
Trig may be the smartest one in the family.
Let’s be fair and in the spirit of compromise call all of them “retards” — especially Jeter. Isn’t that the Wonkette way? Otoh, do we so hate the developmentally disabled that we would inflict these people upon them? (The problem, as I see it, is lack of alternatives — we can’t call Jeter “a blessed little Angel” unless he gets traded.)
selling his flesh?
this one is so easy I’m certain to be the last intertoober on earth to post the link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnT9W0ONycc
It’s mutually assured destruction, except Levi and Sarah are both too stupid not to pull the trigger. At this point, though, they’re sending each other a Wa-Sicillian message: I’ve got the goods on you. Fuck with me and you sleep with the fishes.
[re=446111]Mahousu[/re]: Funniest. Answer. Ever.
[re=446092]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Certainly one of the best American songs of the past 10 years (skip the first minute of blather – song starts at about 1:02):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbdR_25-TDE
Meh, ignore the last link – this one from Conan is better:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YI9sHO0R5iY
Trig ain’t retard. He tain’t neven old enuff to hab a job so how could he be retard?
Now Sary, she done retard from that gobner job she had raight?
[re=446130]yankee[/re]: I like your imagination! It’s the little details, like the bit about how she “sprays final pint of enema into bucket…” that betray the hand of a true master.
Actually his name is Trig Paxson-because Paxson was Todd’s favorite place to snow-machine in Alaska-Van Palin-because of the rock band Van Halen-as reported by Levi:
http://www.vanityfair.com/politics/features/2009/10/levi-johnston200910?currentPage=3
Gawd, ya can’t make this $#it up.
[re=446487]Zorg[/re]: Zorg, thank you for your kind reply.
I’m glad someone appreciates my reportage on this event. I’ve written up at least two other segments on this important matter of national interest. Yes, they’ve been colorful. But as decent Americans, you have a right to know what’s going on with our prospective elected officials and snowbilly grifters. And I’m just the guy to report it to you, from ringside.
Sadly, the freedom haters at wonkette haven’t approved my posts. Not the one about bristol “queefing an emulsion of lube and ladygoo into Levi’s eyes.” Not the one about the judges and the bribes they’re taking. Honestly, it’s enough to make me reconsider contributing to this forum.
But to you, Zorg, I express my fond regards, humble thanks, and sustained respect.
Well the fact of the matter is that, a child with down’s syndrome is generally classified as mild, moderate, or severely mentally retarded i.e. DSM-IV. If he has that diagnosis, he is, retarded. Noe if your mom refers to you as “hey fuckin’ retard” that is a different story. Half-wit also.
I have to say, I hope this hasty ghosted screed makes enough money so we the public don’t have to pay to support little Rotted Egg Angel. Liberals may be pro choice, pro abortion, pro killing kittens or whatever you may, but at least they don’t sop off their aging body’s deficient offspring onto the public dole.
[re=446579]yankee[/re]: “Queefing!” Now there is a word we don’t see enough of in the Wonkette comment threads. Damn the Wonkette censors!
I don’t get it. Angels can’t be retards? Retard can’t be angels? Inclusivity people!! Can’t we all just get along?
Let’s all sit back and look at the big picture here.
The woman nominated for VP of the US last year is publicly feuding with a teenaged boy.
Is this really happening?
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