daily briefing

Boy, What A Thrilling/Excruciating Athletics Event On Teevee At The Local Baseball Pub Last Night!

Add to Flipboard Magazine.
  • Last night’s baseball match went smashingly/terribly—depending on whether you were in a sports bar with mostly blue decorations or mostly red ones. [Reuters]
  • Ahmadinejad implied that Iran would do everyone a favor and would indeed be enriching its uranium elsewhere. [New York Times]
  • There’s not enough Tamiflu for all America’s children, which means Obama will have no choice but to murder off what’s left of all the vaccineless ones. [Washington Post]
  • The Golden Gate Bay Bridge will be closed again today while engineers continue to make sure that it’s definitely, like 100% not going to randomly collapse. [CNN]
  • Obama spent the morning in Dover, Delaware, honoring fallen troops who were recently killed in Afghanistan. [AP]
  • The incompetence deepens: the FAA did not give the military a heads up so quickly after that commercial airliner and its unresponsive pilots went AWOL last week. [WSJ]

About the author

Juli Weiner was Wonkette's beloved intern and books columnist and then morning editor until she was hired away by Vanity Fair in 2010.

View all articles by Juli Weiner


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Terry

    Not all of America’s children will be in line for the flu shots. Children of right wing conspiracy folks won’t. Children of various forms of hippies won’t. Children who believe vaccines are secretly causing all sorts of problems won’t. Children of people too lazy to take their kids to a doctor won’t. Children of parents cynical of flu hysteria won’t. How many kids does that leave?

  • Advocatus_Diaboli

    It’s the Bay Bridge, not the Golden Gate Bridge, that’s closed.

  • ForTheTurnstiles

    Fucking hell, they’ve closed the Golden Gate Bridge AND the Bay Bridge now?

    Are we fucking swimming to work today?

  • the problem child

    “Lee baffled the Yankees with an assortment of fastballs, change-ups and breaking balls, limiting them to six hits, striking out 10 without a walk and inducing a string of weak swings and easy outs.”

    Baseball writing is so sexy.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Gee, that’s too bad the Yankees lost.

  • eastcoastliberal

    JULI! You are causing a panic…it’s not the Golden Gate that’s closed. Why do I care? I live in NY Distr

  • ChernobylSoup v2

    Everyone needs to quit overreacting to this whole FAA/sleepy pilots/military alert thing. They were just unresponsive for an hour. What could possibly happen with a commercial jetliner and a metro area in such a short time span. Let those military boys alone; no need to raise unnecessary alerts.

  • eastcoastliberal

    [re=446046]eastcoastliberal[/re]: I hate my laptop that randomly pushes buttons when I’m not ready….and now I forgot what I was saying. Ignore.

  • mookworthjwilson

    [re=446040]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: damn…i was hoping to make a joke about having to protect against giant sharks… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvciIVcn33c

  • dave666

    We are all decaying bridges today.

  • mookworthjwilson

    [re=446045]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I am a Mets fan…I have decided I want the Phillies to win in 7. I want each team’s home fans not to see their team win a game. The Phillies are the visitors in 4 games. Even better I want each game to feature the home team making a valiant comeback but to fail, and I want that failure to be based on some horrible running mistake by the home team’s star player. That is how a Mets fan can derive the maximium pleasure/minimum torture from this godforsaken hell of a World Series.

  • low_standards

    Is that Riley’s mom writing that Rita Hayworth book on the left???

  • the problem child

    [re=446051]mookworthjwilson[/re]: Now you’ve got a plan! I might even watch such a series, for the fans.

  • ChernobylSoup v2

    [re=446039]Terry[/re]: My pediatrician’s NURSE told us she wouldn’t let her kids get the H1N1 vaccine. Pissed me off. No telling how many people she’s talked out of getting the shot.

    My little boy is getting his vaccine today and I’ll rest better tonight.

  • pattycake

    [re=446051]mookworthjwilson[/re]: in short, you want the home teams to adopt a Metsian offense.

  • ChernobylSoup v2

    [re=446047]ChernobylSoup v2[/re]: Though I must add I’m glad we’ve gotten out pee in our pants at the site of a crop
    duster status. An hour of silence from the cockpit, however, is a bit much to ignore.

  • dillplatz

    I want more investigative reporting on how Mr. Newsome, Viceroy of the Sodomites, and his homunculus Nacy Pelosi are actually causing the Bay Bridge to dissolve with witchcraft and gayness and gay marriage and gayness, variously. Red State needs to pick up the pace a little.

  • mookworthjwilson

    [re=446057]pattycake[/re]: Exactly.

  • ALIVE!

    [re=446043]the problem child[/re]: Not when you’re trying to code a secret message “YANKS SUCK! GO SAWXXXXX!” in the article.

  • Johnny Zhivago

    Never going to Wonkette to get my morning traffic report again!!!

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    [re=446058]ChernobylSoup v2[/re]:
    I was hoping that a gay buttsects scandel was going to come out of this or, at least, porn surfing. New scheduling software is kind of boring.

  • JMP

    There were actually a couple Yankee fans in full gear at my (Philly) bar last night. However, they were hot girls, so they were forgivable.

  • tootsieroll

    [re=446051]mookworthjwilson[/re]: As a Red Sox fan, I salute you, and your plan.

  • ChernobylSoup v2

    Anyone had the fortitude to click on Drudge’s top story this morning?

    “Babies without men OR women!”

    What does that mean? Is he talking about Orphans? Brave New World engineering?

  • ProfessorJukes

    Why has no one asked WHAT the pilots were looking at on their laptops? If it’s that engrossing, I want to rent that porn video right away.

    (also: Yankees lost, ha ha!)

  • bitchincamaro

    Obama ought to just stay at Dover for a while. If that bullshit general gets his way with war number 1, it’ll be a very long night, indeed.

    Oh, and Yanks lost = Ghouliani weeps, ergo, I am pleased.

  • CycloneArmageddon

    Put Ahmadinejad under the Bay Bridge. Then keep adding unvaccinated children to it until it collapses.

  • Terry

    [re=446056]ChernobylSoup v2[/re]:

    I’m an old maid, but my nieces are getting theirs asap. The adults in the family, too.

  • snideinplainsight

    Leiberman Leiberman Leiberman Lieberman,
    Leiberman Leiberman all day long,
    Leiberman Leiberman Leiberman Lieberman,
    Leiberman Leiberman Leiberman song!

    (to be sung to the tune of The Penis Song from SNL.)

  • Terry


    Supposedly, they were looking at the scheduling system for the airline. If it’s that complex or controvertial, Northwest/Delta needs to do some thinking.

  • magic titty

    Chase Utley is a motherfucker.

    Actually he’s a great player who refused to make an out, but still, fuck him.

  • slavojzizek

    That wasn’t incompetence; it was Cheney, back in action, testing out his next plot…


    That’s it! I won’t stand for this misleading reporting by the Wonketteria. Ken must immediately pony up funds for a trip for Juli to travel to San Francisco where she can learn the difference between the Bay Bridge and the Golden Gate bridge, have lunch at the House of Nanking and a quick wine tasting trip to Rombaur and Cakebread wineries.

    We expect a certain level of eliteness from the editors, and this shabby display of ignorance cannot be tolerated.

  • teebob2000

    Ha, ha. Yankees sux.

  • finallyhappy

    So with all of the people who are too stupid to get their kids(and then themselves) vaccinated- can I get a shot? We think we have one hamtrax victim here in the office- we will know today. I am usually pretty healthy but I am a vegetarian so I would hate to develop porkchops

  • CaiteeCruelle

    [re=446080]magic titty[/re]: haaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! Nyah nyah!!

    Signed, fair weather Phillies fan who couldn’t even be bothered to wear red today.

  • blinky_twinkie

    CalTRANS repaired the bridge 7 weeks ago without accounting for wind. *WIND*. This whole area is a fucking WIND TUNNEL, and they didn’t account for wind.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    [re=446189]blinky_twinkie[/re]: It seems CalTRANS (like Juli), has never actually driven in SF at rush hour on a windy day.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Well, I’m a Jays fan and I hate the Yanks. I’d prefer a Phillie sweep (only to return the favor for the 1993 WS 15-14 game and Mitch Williams.)

  • Jim89048

    My long-dead grandfather helped build those bridges in SF. He was a union man. Something he/they did in the 1930’s is obviously responsible for the Bay Bridge’s near collapse, I just know it.
    Fucking unions.

  • hobospacejunkie

    I thought it was mostly blue or mostly black, as Juventus crushed Sampdoria & their feeble hopes of a Serie A title, 5-1. Or was it 6?

  • lawrenceofthedesert

    While they’re at it, I hope they inspect Gavin Newsom to see if he’s in danger of imminent collapse.