COLUMNISTS WITH RANGE  3:09 pm October 28, 2009

Maureen Dowd Leaps At Opportunity To Babble About Latest Made-Up Gender Role Narrative

by Jim Newell

Men are women, women are men!No one was more excited about the Controversial Major News Story earlier this week, involving Barack Obama and his sexist athletic proclivities, than Maureen Dowd, the popular newspaper sex columnist from 1998. The story provided her with at least three columns worth of unclear wordplay about gender and politics and homos. Check out this peculiar bit: “Besides, if Obama starts using a quota system for recreation, it will give fuel to the Republican campaign to paint him as a hand-wringing, Mom-jeans-wearing girly-boy.” Note the way she fully outsources this superficial “campaign” to the Republicans, but doesn’t acknowledge the weekly leadership role a liberal female New York Times columnist has been playing in it for the last decade. [NYT via Gawker]

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chascates October 28, 2009 at 3:12 pm

She’s sassy. The liberal Peggy Noonan. And almost as tiresome.

nbawriter October 28, 2009 at 3:13 pm

Does anyone deserve to have her uterus fall right to the floor more so than this lady?

norbizness October 28, 2009 at 3:14 pm

If you line up the first letter of the lines in Maureen’s column, it spells “I have some serious problems.”

nbawriter October 28, 2009 at 3:15 pm

… and after reading the first four paragraphs of her column, the conclusion: Just make the softcore porn with her, Barry. Boink that recessive redhead gene right out of her.

snideinplainsight October 28, 2009 at 3:16 pm

We still will never ever forgive you, Maureen, for your “practically lactating” comments during Gore/Bush 2000. That was just not nice. It’s absolutely 100% your fault that Bush got elected, even though no republican or unaligned voters would ever willingly read your column.

All the same, could you share with my wife where you got that filmy top you’re wearing? That would really be great. KTHXBAI

ChernobylSoup v2 October 28, 2009 at 3:20 pm

If “play basketball” is what the kids are calling it these days, then MoDo has obviously never “played basketball” with a black man and is obviously feeling the need to experiment.

shadowMark October 28, 2009 at 3:21 pm

The rumors I see on the blogz are that Maureen is out doing field research for a novel about sex in cemeteries and Sarah Palin has been ghosting her columns. Don’t know if it’s true. I’m just saying.

Sharkey October 28, 2009 at 3:22 pm

The comments on Gawker R gud! I think I’ve done enough copypasting for today tho.

Monsieur Grumpe October 28, 2009 at 3:23 pm

If anyone is “fueling” it’s Ms Dowd. I mean, she’s got the media’s fuel pump shoved up Hopey’s ass to the back flow valve; if you know what I mean.

Jim89048 October 28, 2009 at 3:24 pm

But still, oh how I’d hit that…

hobospacejunkie October 28, 2009 at 3:25 pm

vagina dentata

sati demise October 28, 2009 at 3:25 pm

still fighting the culture wars when every smart person has moved on? Oh Maureen babble on you irrelevant *****(Enron lobbyist).

Lionel Hutz Esq. October 28, 2009 at 3:28 pm

Did Maureen include a section about how all men are intimidated and overwhelmed by here greatness, so she will never find love?

Wait, the both work at the times, and can never find satisfaction from members of the opposite sex…., someone needs to get Ross Douthat and Maureen together. If anything, Maureen can save Douthat from the gay.

Come here a minute October 28, 2009 at 3:30 pm

When did Agent Scully start writing for the NY Times?

Great Old Ones Party October 28, 2009 at 3:32 pm

when did Alison Hannigan start writing sexytime columns?

Great Old Ones Party October 28, 2009 at 3:34 pm

[re=445610]Come here a minute[/re]: LOL!
I didn’t even see your post till after I posted!

Holy Cow!! October 28, 2009 at 3:34 pm

How does such a talentless idiot keep a job anyway?

snideinplainsight October 28, 2009 at 3:39 pm

[re=445609]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Maureen would crush little boy Dewhat like a frat boy crushing an empty beer can. He wouldn’t stand a chance.

Humpback October 28, 2009 at 3:39 pm

Hey, Mo’s all right. Except for the occasional plagiarism, she is creative and sometimes downright funny.

SayItWithWookies October 28, 2009 at 3:46 pm

Her most egregious offense in that column is the misuse of the word “enormity.” From a mere non-columnist I would just ignore it — but from a professional writer it’s inexcusable. Thus:

But it is the very enormity of the change Obama represents that makes him cautious at times about more change.

Enormity does not mean “expansive scope.” It means horribleness — as in the enormity of the massacre at Srebernica.

FMA October 28, 2009 at 3:59 pm

So, let’s start a pool, who’ll get laid first — Meghan or MoDo?

geminisunmars October 28, 2009 at 3:59 pm

I’d play Scrabble with her.

user-of-owls October 28, 2009 at 4:00 pm

[re=445589]nbawriter[/re]: [re=445595]ChernobylSoup v2[/re]: Filthy miscegenationists!!

shadowMark October 28, 2009 at 4:01 pm

[re=445621]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Jesus, teh Wonkett presently is a tough place for the wordsmiths. Fuck! I mean, currently teh Wonkett is a tuff place for the wordsmiths and presently I am sure to be caught with my fly open and Little Einstein hanging out. When it happens I hope Meghan isn’t looking.

user-of-owls October 28, 2009 at 4:02 pm

“Columnists with Range”

Mo’s definitely got de range!

PoignancySelz October 28, 2009 at 4:11 pm

[re=445604]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Ouch?!!??

SayItWithWookies October 28, 2009 at 4:14 pm

[re=445662]shadowMark[/re]: Hell, I’ll let a lot of things slide, but misuse of enormity is becoming a very fashionable error for some reason, and every writer (especially one who’s as prominent as MoDo) should know its actual meaning. Usually I keep my desire to copy edit the entire world in check, but that one just makes me reach for my red pen.

Delicious October 28, 2009 at 4:16 pm

The subtext of everything Maureen Dowd has ever written is about how much she wants/needs to be fucked by a Real Man.

Manos: Hands of Fate October 28, 2009 at 4:16 pm

Who in the hell is she married to — or was married to — that would meet these uber-masculine standards she sets. I’m pretty sure I think I could beat him up.

snideinplainsight October 28, 2009 at 4:37 pm

According to wikipedia;

She refers to her New York Times colleague, Tom Friedman as her “office husband” or “Mr. Solar.”

norbizness October 28, 2009 at 4:39 pm

Why does that url for that picture say 1988.jpg? If you want something contemporary and not uber-gauzed…

Failed 2 Menace October 28, 2009 at 4:41 pm

[re=445680]SayItWithWookies[/re]: The way she used enormity is accepted, and has been around for centuries. Immensity. Perfectly viable alternative definition.

Please join me in saving your outrage for the unconscionable misuse of fulsome.

Advocatus_Diaboli October 28, 2009 at 4:48 pm

[re=445718]norbizness[/re]: ug. I wish to unsee that picture. The only thing I have ever found tolerable about MoDo was her looks. Not any more.

shadowMark October 28, 2009 at 4:57 pm

[re=445737]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: She looks fine to me in that picture. When women wear skin-colored clothes my eyes don’t spend too much time above their shoulders. I just glance up to make sure it’s not Tommy Chong with bongoes under his top then drop back down to fantasyland.

queeraselvis v 2.0 October 28, 2009 at 4:59 pm

[re=445737]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: [re=445718]norbizness[/re]: Yikes. And those hands! I imagine those stirring a cauldron full of bat wings, toad eyes, and Levi johnsons.

S.Luggo October 28, 2009 at 5:08 pm

1. I felt bile-drenched chunks lurch from my esophagus into my mouth as soon as I read, “my pal Tom Friedman.”

2. Was MoDo’s column an apologia or a snark? So confused.

Mahousu October 28, 2009 at 5:11 pm

[re=445685]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]: Maureen Dowd is, was, and always shall be unmarried. In fact, the Church of MoDo preaches her perpetual virginity, though this latter assertion is, of course, controversial.

SayItWithWookies October 28, 2009 at 5:11 pm

[re=445721]Failed 2 Menace[/re]: Well crap — I stand corrected — but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. It’s an unfortunate feature of a living language that a consistent misapplication serves to legitimize. Fulsome will go the way of enormity and decimate — just so you’re prepared.

geminisunmars October 28, 2009 at 5:59 pm

[re=445721]Failed 2 Menace[/re]: Yes, I find the current use of “fulsome” to be pretty shitty too.

gradgrind October 28, 2009 at 7:00 pm

[re=445718]norbizness[/re]: Eeeuuw. “Irish Arianna Huffington” is not a good look for anybody.

norbizness October 28, 2009 at 7:46 pm

[re=445896]gradgrind[/re]: And that was me trying not to be mean; there are others that might implicate the end of some sort of Dorian Gray-type bargain.

Touched by an Uncle October 28, 2009 at 8:40 pm

Sweet. Bono v. MoDo for most Joycean NY Times editorialist. It. is. on.

LowerdPeninsula October 29, 2009 at 12:03 am

[re=445721]Failed 2 Menace[/re]: I was about to say that “enormity” and “enormousness” are interchangeable no matter how much someone may not like that. They are both modified versions of enormous, whose primary definition is one of size. It’s archaic definition is about wickedness and evil.

Capricatony October 29, 2009 at 12:19 am

[re=445614]Holy Cow!![/re]: I wonder the same thing about most major newspaper columnists. My theory is since they mostly all fucked up over the Iraq war they’ve all taken heavily to booze. Dowd’s columns reek of 7 a.m. screwdrivers.

Lascauxcaveman October 29, 2009 at 1:12 am

[re=445984]Capricatony[/re]: “they’ve all taken heavily to booze. Dowd’s columns reek of 7 a.m. screwdrivers.”

You say that like it’s a bad thing.

Suds McKenzie October 29, 2009 at 4:46 am

[re=445984]Capricatony[/re]: [re=446002]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: word, no reason to bring innocent 7am screwdrivers into this.

Pop Socket November 1, 2009 at 8:07 am

[re=445685]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]: Among others, she used to ‘date’ Michael Douglas before he bagged Catherine Zeta Jones. So it’s your call if you could take on Fatal Attraction Michael or Wonder Boys Michael.

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