Wonkette
Good news, Washington humans: the rich right-wing owner of the POLITICO, Robert Albritton, is preparing to launch a local news website, with the admirable goal of further destroying the Washington Post. (Although the Washington Post has great local news blogs and reporters!) And just in case you were wondering, yes: “The site will cover D.C and the suburbs, and echo Politico’s aggressive, scoop-oriented focus.” Your Wonkette editors have been brainstorming, furiously. [TNR]
In no more than 6 months, the Washington Post will be converted into a dating website.
“Local ACORN Office Staffed Entirely By Pimps, Whores.”
Is this REALLY good news for John McCain?
Why don’t Jim N. and Juli W. just yell across the office at each other?
Does the Washington Post really need any help in destroying itself?
shortsshortsshorts: If they had any pride they’d become an “escort” service. If you’re going to be a whore at least go high priced.
SayItWithWookies: “Film at 11….no, RIGHT NOW, we’re a website…..yeah….”
ElRat: Time to decide how many whore diamonds each post staffer is worth.
Aggressive poop - what a good description of Politico! Wait, what?
You’re hired! Now get me pictures of Spiderman! No pictures? You’re fired!
And somehow they’ve already got Boeing, Lockheed Martin, and Aetna signed up as sponsors.
Politico’s aggressive, scoop-oriented focus.
So Politico is how Robert Albritton cleans the litter box?
shortsshortsshorts: For ugly people.
So if this new Politico local news site wins the morning they get a free pass to the Spy Museum?
@Tundra Grifter: Ball gags, no doubt.
A website covering picayune developments and targeting Washington-area readers? So what’s Politico going to cover then?
“The new site will feature a mix of original reporting, aggregation, and GPS-map features.”
In other words, making stuff up, stealing from the Post and stealing from Google Maps. Yeah, this could work.
The WaPo does indeed have some great local blogs. John Kelly’s Commons is a gem.
shortsshortsshorts: Will George Will and Richard Cohen’s columns switch to dating advice, then? “You kids today need to learn the proper respect when going a-courting.”
Sweet fucking mother of god, Juli and Jim. No matter how crappy I feel or shitty the weather is, wonkette never fails to find something charmingly funny in the wasteland of American culture. I suggest you both get jobs with this new whatever it is and all the wonkeratti will follow you. Working together, we can destroy the place in no time.
I expect their column to be called District 9, with Teabagger-style graphics on the sidebars.
OT: did anyone get to see my Ayn Rand Blingee?
http://blingee.com/blingee/view/101391844-LG-AR
SCOOP: Local school board meets, considers adding extra hot dog day to monthly cafeteria lunch menu in attempt to cut costs, students respond: “Woof.”
JMP: An impression of Richard Cohen dating advise:
“iondfoniasphjap3u9japr[mg9m[jmv[a03rjaj[3v, clearly.”
The site will cover D.C and the suburbs, and echo Politico’s aggressive, scoop-oriented focus.”
I bet you a nickle they never actually set foot in Maryland, as it is infested with minorities and liberal hippie types. They’ll post articles on how much crime there is in Maryland and how bad the taxes are, cribbed directly from the Washington Times.
Tundra Grifter: That’s so cute. You think they have an office!
Will they also be mean to Dan Snyder?
Great Old Ones Party: I came for the blingee, I stayed for the caption.
Will they have a running “What if Marion Barry had done that??!!!!!?” in response to whatever the current mayor does?
ChernobylSoup v2: Better yet, a “He put [name] out in Denver ‘cuz they wouldn’t suck his dick” column.
I predict this new venture will WIN THE FATHER HURLEY BOULEVARD.
queeraselvis v 2.0: Are they even in the same state?
If it is a right-wing funded blog focusing on DC, won’t it be mostly a list of places to take your mistress and for clandestine gay cruising?
Jim/Juli
Do all your conversations end up with the CAPS locked on?
Politico’s scoop-oriented focus is a good start. Now they need to learn to put what they scoop in a plastic bag and dispose of it properly.
The new site will feature a mix of original reporting, aggregation, and GPS-map features replica watches very good
properly
Monsieur Grumpe: They probably just do like me, and hold down the Shift key the whole time because they grossly underestimated how long of wingnut impression they were making.
Not to mention how awkward it is to type without your pinky.
With Politico’s focus and the DC emphasis this is one site I can easily do without.
I so wish the Politico’s print edition were available here in Boston. Using the online edition for toilet paper is awkward.
Juli and Jim are like those lawyers who switch sides from prosecution to defense, or vice versa. I’ve always wondered if that deserves any respect.
PoignancySelz: When I once asked SKS if she would take a job at the Washington Times like Liz Glover did she replied “In a heartbeat.”
There’s something about the money & benefits I suppose.
chascates: *sigh*, I’ve always thought life is just a series of dichotomies, but while we are here, SKS, included, let’s share a drink and have a laugh or two.
So how did that work out for Liz Glover?
Naked Bunny with a Whip: “Ball gag” - is that another truck nutz joke?
queeraselvis v 2.0: Typo! Should have been “orifice.”
Mahousu: WIN!
Lionel Hutz Esq.: Roland Corning better not try that 18-year-old-hooker-in-a-SUV shit at Arlington. The cemetery, that is.
chascates: Oh yeah, either way Joe Lieberman is still a world-class douche-bag.
PoignancySelz: She’s still employed at the satanic factory I believe. The District is the world’s largest theme park and I wouldn’t care to live there but hey.
Mahousu: “The new site will feature a mix of original reporting, aggregation, and GPS-map features.”
In other words, making stuff up, stealing from the Post and stealing from Google Maps. Yeah, this could work.
Bingo.
BTW, Politico is far more sad a media outlet than anything FOX could ever dream up. FOX espouses a kind of unabashed “fuck you, we’re conservative; wanna fight about it” kind of game. Politico is just pathetic in that they actually seem to believe that they are fooling people besides themselves with their trashy conservative reporting.
The continued existence of Politico is yet one more example of a non-existent God. No god would allow something so consistently bad an pathetic to continue so unscathed.