THE FORTUNES OF FREELANCE WRITING  9:31 am October 28, 2009

Filthy Sarah Palin Book Deal Cash Money Details

by Juli Weiner

Ugh, okay, okay: $1.25 million dollars. Palin earned $1.25 million dollars of actual American currency from HarperCollins in exchange for giving her approval to some ghostwriter and an (ill-chosen!) dust jacket photo. And that’s just the advance! She will make more as soon as the thing comes out and people buy it. Everyone: Please keep in mind—especially as the holidays approach—that money does not know when it is being used ironically and will still “count.” [The Caucus]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 97 comments }

Larry McAwful October 28, 2009 at 9:36 am

Publishing this book is a brilliant move because Harper Collins has found a way to tap into a demographic that usually isn’t interested in books: people who can’t read.

Monsieur Grumpe October 28, 2009 at 9:38 am
Yaybuls October 28, 2009 at 9:41 am

1.25 jiggawatts!

ManchuCandidate October 28, 2009 at 9:42 am

I suspect that this windfall for the Snow Bunny will end like most unwise, unprepared or undereducated recipients of windfalls do. End in financial ruin.

Larry McAwful October 28, 2009 at 9:45 am

I read that <a Sarah Palin’s popularity has sunk to Nancy Pelosi levels. Palin/Pelosi ’12!

http://politicalwire.com/archives/2009/10/28/republicans_sink_in_popularity.html

BobLoblawLawBlog October 28, 2009 at 9:45 am

Does this mean she and her Third Wave Christian brethren are going to have to suck it up and say literacy ain’t evil now, yabetcha?

contentsunderpressure October 28, 2009 at 9:47 am

Not a bad payday, and she didn’t even have to get nekkid! What’s his name should take note!

queeraselvis v 2.0 October 28, 2009 at 9:48 am

This way to the Remainder Bin…

Terry October 28, 2009 at 9:51 am

[re=445119]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]:

That will make it easier for conservative groups to bulk buy copies and keep this door stop on the bestseller’s list.

KilgoreTrout_XL October 28, 2009 at 9:54 am

[re=445118]Larry McAwful[/re]: Heh.

I’m holding out for the “Palin pop-up book for kids” but I’m too tired to come up with anything remotely clever re: shit that would go in said pop-up book.

ManchuCandidate October 28, 2009 at 9:55 am

[re=445130]Terry[/re]:
It’ll become the Dianetics of the Contard World.

ChernobylSoup v2 October 28, 2009 at 9:55 am

Many Bothan trees died to bring us this drivel.

Oreilly4897 October 28, 2009 at 9:56 am

Ain’t seen her wheels in a week, them bitches spinning still.

Oldskool October 28, 2009 at 9:56 am

“Please keep in mind…that money does not know when it is being used ironically and will still “count.” ”

Hehe. Good way to start the day! Ü

ManchuCandidate October 28, 2009 at 9:58 am

Winners never quit and quitters never win until Rupert wastes a million and a quarter on a poorly written book about it.

forgracie October 28, 2009 at 9:59 am

I smell a book burning!

S.Luggo October 28, 2009 at 9:59 am

A million and quarter quatloos just for signing. I just felt a disruption in the fabric of the universe.

PsycGirl October 28, 2009 at 10:02 am

[re=445127]contentsunderpressure[/re]: Not a bad payday, and she didn’t even have to get nekkid!
as far as we know, anyway

JMP October 28, 2009 at 10:03 am

Can’t wait for the book to come out. I’m sure that any reviewer who pans the book (or just doesn’t praise it as the best ghost-written memoir ever) will be a biased libtard who just hates Palin because they’re jealous of her, wants to tear her down and has been paid off by ACORN.

friendlyskies October 28, 2009 at 10:06 am

It would have been worth every cent, had Palin written it herself. But we the people can only dream about what she would have said, and how she would have said it.

engulfedinflames October 28, 2009 at 10:08 am

American dream; work hard follow the rules results in prosperity and security, that explains all the wealthy coal miners.

So politics is the new lottery? Lottery winners stories often have unhappy endings.

ChernobylSoup v2 October 28, 2009 at 10:08 am

[re=445142]JMP[/re]: No, it’s cause all book critics hate special needs kids

ph7 October 28, 2009 at 10:10 am

Snowbilly grifter, indeed.

hobospacejunkie October 28, 2009 at 10:10 am

At least half of that advance will be eaten by attorney fees, from defending her own malfeasance, which is just.

Also, if they are smart, her xtian brethren will wait for the piles of remaindereds, buy ‘em for $1 a piece or whatever, then sell ‘em for $25 at their snake oil shows & conventions. Which I guess they already do, except they don’t wait for them to cost $1, because assklowns at conservative dunk tanks aren’t spending their own money.

PsycGirl October 28, 2009 at 10:10 am

[re=445142]JMP[/re]: No, they’re terrified of her because she has a long form birth certificate.

You know who else had a long form birth certificate?

Flanders October 28, 2009 at 10:12 am

[re=445146]ChernobylSoup v2[/re]: And the troops, don’t forget the hate the troops, too.

binarian October 28, 2009 at 10:12 am

[re=445144]friendlyskies[/re]: I’m sure the grammar checker function in Word would have had a nervous break down trying to parse the text of this tome. Even given Terry’s comment on Conservative Clown Car Foundations buying this bird cage liner in bulk it will be interesting to see the sales volumn on this.

hobospacejunkie October 28, 2009 at 10:12 am

[re=445141]PsycGirl[/re]: You don’t have to get nekkid to blow a seried of publishing execs.

BeWoot October 28, 2009 at 10:14 am

Will she get her own special table at Costco, or will she have to share the one with Dan Brown and Glen Beck? I’m so excited.

Texan Bulldoggette October 28, 2009 at 10:15 am

Hope she has an accountant to count her munnies, because I doubt her & the first dewd know what a decimal is or how it can be moved around to make different amounts.

Maybe this means they’ll have enough money to make sure Trig gets in the finest Wasilla learning center.

DoctorCulturae October 28, 2009 at 10:15 am

Some enterprising auteur would be smart to prepare out a movie interpretation of this before the wingnut brethren initiate a pitch to 20th C. Fawx or Lifetime.

And btw, maybe this could get packaged in paperback as the Wingnut Trilogy, along with Atlas Mugged & anything by Kristolwretch.

Terry October 28, 2009 at 10:16 am

[re=445133]ManchuCandidate[/re]:

I’d like to see her selling it on QVC and taking random questions from callers.

hobospacejunkie October 28, 2009 at 10:17 am

[re=445141]PsycGirl[/re]: In fact, a hummer from a fully-clothed person is rather kind of, uh…you’ll have to excuse me, my pants are tight.

JMP October 28, 2009 at 10:17 am

[re=445146]ChernobylSoup v2[/re]: True. And because they’re misogynists, of course; because any criticism of a female Republican (but especially Queen Sarah) is misogyny, but sexist invective against Democrats is just joking around.

Terry October 28, 2009 at 10:18 am

[re=445155]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]:

You think they’re going back to Wasilla if they can help it? Oh, except for photo ops. Sort of like Bush and that ranch/estate.

PeteJayhawk v2.0 October 28, 2009 at 10:21 am

This never would have happened if we were on the gold standard. SEND RON PAUL!

JMP October 28, 2009 at 10:22 am

[re=445144]friendlyskies[/re]: Oh, without a ghostwriter I don’t know if Palin could have reached the lofty literary heights of a Stephanie Meyer or Dan Brown.

Texan Bulldoggette October 28, 2009 at 10:23 am

[re=445161]Terry[/re]: I never said THEY were going back to Wasilla–just Trig now that he’s no longer needed for a photo op because he’s not real cute anymore (back to the attic with him). I’m sure they’ll find the best La Petite Academy in town for him!

earnestcivilservant October 28, 2009 at 10:23 am

That does it. I am so going to run for office. Start off as small town mayer, transition quickly to governor of Michigan, which is already almost as remote and will shortly be as pathetic as Alaska. Then I will foist myself on some loser presidential candidate as veep, lose, quit my governor job, get someone to write my book for me, pose for a cover photo, and sign a book deal.

All I need now is a special needs child and a pregnant unmarried daughter. The bum husband I think I’ve got covered.

Really, if Sarah Palin can do this, what’s to stop every moran in the country from running for office. Oh, wait, maybe they already did.

PsycGirl October 28, 2009 at 10:26 am

[re=445158]hobospacejunkie[/re]: I’ve learned so much from Wonkette.

ChernobylSoup v2 October 28, 2009 at 10:28 am

[re=445151]binarian[/re]: Thank you for providing an image of that animated Word paper clip becoming all unravelled.

JesusButter October 28, 2009 at 10:31 am

I know that Sarah would support my book-banning efforts, so I know what I’LL be petitioning my library to remove from the shelves.

binarian October 28, 2009 at 10:32 am

[re=445178]ChernobylSoup v2[/re]: I hate that paper clip anyway….and you’re welcome.

PlanetWingnuta October 28, 2009 at 10:32 am

somewhere…(His name aint) Joe the (not) Plumber is in the dark crying his baby blues out.

WestEdEd October 28, 2009 at 10:35 am

All this talk of Bible Spice naked makes me wonder-

Which conservative would you most like to see do a spread in Hustler, or wherever spreads are done these days?

Malakin? McJuggsy McTwatter? Bachman? or bible spice?

Think any of them would do it for a Million?

I think Ann Coulter would do it for a case of Thunderbird and a carton of smokes at this point. But, ewww.

Cape Clod October 28, 2009 at 10:35 am

[re=445151]binarian[/re]: Could you imagine an entire volume of work made up of Facebook entries?
I wonder how much they would have given her if her brain wasn’t the size of a walnut?

gjdodger October 28, 2009 at 10:36 am

she didn’t even have to get nekkid!

You’ve apparently forgotten about the “towel” incident during the campaign. That recounting alone cost Rich Lowry $75 in dry cleaning bills.

snideinplainsight October 28, 2009 at 10:37 am

A sister’s love is NO LONGER stronger than death, apparently. I has a sad.

Traveler October 28, 2009 at 10:37 am

[re=445165]JMP[/re]: Without a ghost she couldn’t have reached the heights of Zerna Sharp (creator of the old Dick and Jane books).

queeraselvis v 2.0 October 28, 2009 at 10:43 am

[re=445191]WestEdEd[/re]: I think Ann Coulter would do it for a case of Thunderbird and a carton of smokes at this point. But, ewww.

Genius, but good gawdalmighty, who would actually want to see that peen?

AnnieGetYourFun October 28, 2009 at 10:45 am

How is Wonkette going to review the book without buying a copy? Are you going to steal it straight from Trig’s grubby little hands, Juli?

How could you?

WestEdEd October 28, 2009 at 10:46 am

earnestcivilservant

If you need a hand with knocking your daughter up….

A Better American Than You! October 28, 2009 at 10:47 am

[re=445191]WestEdEd[/re]: Not having wondered (seriously!) what any of teh Republican ladies would like nekkid, I remind myself that PhotoShop (or Blingee) could do wonders in covering scars from sex change operations or tightening up saggy-baggy lady parts. And we have all seen Lady Peg’s naked soul far too many times, thank you.

Fox does need a program “What Would YOU Do, Republican Lady, For $1.25 Million?” Now that would be teevee worth watching.

JMP October 28, 2009 at 10:47 am

[re=445191]WestEdEd[/re]: The place spreads are done these days is called “the internet.” As for the wignuts, the self-hating Asian and the brunette Bush twin are only ones I’d want to see in a spread; the mere thought of most of the others is a huge boner-crusher.

bago October 28, 2009 at 10:49 am

[re=445132]KilgoreTrout_XL[/re]: Johnston is the answer you’re looking for.

Lascauxcaveman October 28, 2009 at 10:50 am

[re=445142]JMP[/re]: Of course. It will state as much right there in the foreword, penned by Michelle Malkin, William Kristol or perhaps that “starburst” guy.

WestEdEd October 28, 2009 at 10:51 am

queeraselvis—maybe Rush?

bago October 28, 2009 at 10:53 am

[re=445191]WestEdEd[/re]: I would go coulter, if only for the ex-parade.

WestEdEd October 28, 2009 at 10:55 am

JMP

You mean you have not been to 69bushtwins.com yet?

JMP October 28, 2009 at 11:03 am

[re=445207]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Considering the literacy of its alleged author and the speed at which it was written, most people will probably be able to complete it at Borders during a single lunch hour.

Come here a minute October 28, 2009 at 11:05 am

If you are looking for somewhere to spend your money ironically, buy Layne’s book and give it to a Republican.

memzilla October 28, 2009 at 11:14 am

You know who ELSE wrote a terrible long book full of wingtard invective… ?

OuterBoroughPrincess October 28, 2009 at 11:15 am

Silverish (okay, nickel) lining: she will not earn MORE, because there is no way sales of this book will out earn her advance. Her starbursting fans don’t read. If vast quantities of this thing don’t end up in the remainder bins of random English language bookstores in Hyderabad, I will eat a wolf fur lined American flag bikini.

Darkness October 28, 2009 at 11:15 am

[re=445207]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: If I had to review it, I’d sit in b&n in the coffee shop and read the copy off the shelf, then put it back, stains and all. It would be the only copy read cover to cover in the entire world, and it would never even be sold. Irony, I am your slave.

Really, the 1.25M was an ADVANCE. On future monies the publisher may get from the book. It’s already remaindered. She’s going to end up owing them money, and if she doesn’t believe that she better read that contract a little more carefully somewhere her own starbursts don’t blind her so much.

mush October 28, 2009 at 11:20 am

She’s gonna make it rain bitches!

JMP October 28, 2009 at 11:26 am

[re=445165]JMP[/re]: Actually, thinking about it, Palin and Stephanie Meyer have a lot in common. Both became famous in careers at which they are spectacularly incompetent. Both have legions of obsessive fans who are deluded into thinking that they are talented and are nearly universally not very bright (though at least most of the Twilighters have the excuse of being teenagers and will hopefully grow out of it). Both love preaching to others about abstinence. Both are members of crazy, right-wing, semi-cultish churches.

TGY October 28, 2009 at 11:29 am

It damned well better come with pit bull lipstick.

When will you Humans learn... October 28, 2009 at 11:52 am

[i]Please keep in mind—especially as the holidays approach—that money does not know when it is being used ironically and will still “count.”[/i]

Then “Steal This Book.” Because that too would be ironic.

Accordion-o-rama October 28, 2009 at 11:55 am

[re=445119]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: That’s because “Pat the Bunny” is a “touch and feel” book. Were Sarah to follow Pat’s lead, I’m sure the price would skyrocket.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0307120007?tag=apture-20

An Outhouse October 28, 2009 at 11:55 am

Sarah Palin is not an elephant even though that is the only other thing that ‘goes rogue’. Comparing Sarah Palin to an elephant would be disrespectful to women.

S.Luggo October 28, 2009 at 11:57 am

[re=445264]JMP[/re]: Both suck.

artpepper October 28, 2009 at 12:00 pm

This fact makes the imminent death of the publishing industry a little less bitter.

KilgoreTrout_XL October 28, 2009 at 12:09 pm

[re=445215]bago[/re]: Yes. Shirtless.

Jim89048 October 28, 2009 at 12:18 pm

“Please keep in mind…that money does not know when it is being used ironically and will still “count.”
Ooh! Ooh! I know that one! It’s fungible, right? Remember that one time during her campaign when she used that word, mostly correctly? Damn near starbursted on the spot…

binarian October 28, 2009 at 12:40 pm

[re=445194]Cape Clod[/re]: Could you imagine an entire volume of work made up of Facebook entries?

…or Twitter updates. That’s about the length of her attention span. “Going TwitterRogue”

Mad Brahms October 28, 2009 at 12:43 pm

[re=445307]An Outhouse[/re]: Yes, but like an Elephant, Palin will NEVER FORGET.

[re=445237]OuterBoroughPrincess[/re]: [re=445238]Darkness[/re]: As fun as it is to keep passing off the “lol conservatives can’t read” trope, the Times bestseller list historically disagrees, and my experience with frighteningly christian conservatives at various workplaces in the past contradicts this, too. Most books by people like Beck, Coulter, Hannity, etc – and undoubtedly Palin – are written at a level that makes USA Today look like the New York Review of Books. Sure, it’s heavily marked down on Amazon, but I have a funny feeling this thing will turn a profit.

Also, I’ve been to Hyderabad, and trust me, there’s no way in hell Indians are going to buy this book; they probably won’t even dignify it’s existence with bootleg copies. This is saying something for a country where “Mein Kampf” can be found on every news stand.

binarian October 28, 2009 at 12:50 pm

[re=445354]Mad Brahms[/re]: Yes, agreed, most actual Conservatives (read Old GOP, Reagan-Era Conservatives) can read and are educated. It’s the Neo-Con political shock troop types, the avid Beck, Rush, Coulter consumers who’ve been conned into believing the Party actually cares what they think that one might doubt the literacy of. And I just ended a sentence in a prepostion so I should talk, huh.

Mad Brahms October 28, 2009 at 12:54 pm

[re=445361]binarian[/re]: I should say that I agree somewhat with Darkness’ point, though, in that reviewers will be among the few to read this thing cover to cover; I imagine many neo-con readers will just flip through it to look for juicy new digs on lie-berals. But there’s more to buying things (even books) than whether or not you’re actually going to use them, and the pure symbolic value of owning this (“Hi! I’m politically retarded, too!”) should carry it.

Can O Whoopass October 28, 2009 at 12:55 pm

Palin’s next big seller; “Raisin’ Levi’s Johnson”.

Boondock Saint October 28, 2009 at 12:59 pm

Fuck her. There. I said it. Is her cumdumpsterdaughter going to write one too?

Mr Blifil October 28, 2009 at 12:59 pm

Sometimes you have to return parts of the advance, you betcha. Only sayin’. We’re gonna drill. Right here. Right now. Also.

Gorillionaire October 28, 2009 at 1:01 pm

There is a certain class of wingnut who buy these books and never read them, just put ‘em on a shelf in the den to class up the joint and make the homeowner look “smart”. Kinda like the same people who pay twice as much for a McMansion because it backs up to a golf course because hey baby that’s “country club”.

binarian October 28, 2009 at 1:03 pm

[re=445373]Mad Brahms[/re]: Yeah, the value of being able to say to your like-minded friends “Yeah, Ah bought Sarah’s book, you should too, she’s SOOOOOOOOOO Maverick-y” might carry the financial day for this book.

the public option October 28, 2009 at 1:06 pm

Well this just means Palin is twice as important as Nate Silver. That’s about right . . .

Phil46526 October 28, 2009 at 1:48 pm

Watching these politicians is like watching a bunch of elementary kids on a playground. I have to talk up the website http://www.Dearpolitician.org. The site totally rocks! You want to write your politicians without the hassle of looking for all their addresses, printing them off, buying paper, envelopes and stamps, then you need to check http://www.Dearpolitician.org. Not only are they FREE and non-partisan, they will even deliver your letters to all the politicians you choose the same day. You can even send your letter to complete Senate and Congressional committees. Check these guys out!

ella October 28, 2009 at 1:54 pm

If this makes the Times best seller list, betcha it’ll have the dreaded dagger showing the book was bought in bulk.

Bearbloke October 28, 2009 at 2:06 pm

[re=445148]hobospacejunkie[/re]: There are already down to USD $5, plus post…
https://www.newsmaxstore.com/nm_mag/going-rogue3.cfm?promo_code=8F97-1

I guess the Reich-wingers can’t unload this shite quickly enough… perhaps Palin’s magnum opus would sell better if they paired it with Mein Kampf?

Sharkey October 28, 2009 at 2:55 pm

You Save: 69%

Sharkey October 28, 2009 at 3:04 pm

[re=445476]Bearbloke[/re]: Plus our standard shipping and handling charge of $5.95.

Going Rogue will recount her shocking rise from housewife to governor of the state of Alaska — and how she took on a corrupt political establishment to win the state’s highest office.

Going Rogue will tell for the first time why John McCain selected her and what really happened during the 2008 campaign.

In Going Rogue, Sarah Palin holds nothing back and even gives her stunning assessment of Barack Obama.

She also reveals her thoughts about a 2012 presidential run.”

News Smacks.

jokahmon October 28, 2009 at 3:16 pm

In other news, Sara Palin has started a compnay called “Pie Spy”

Pie. Spy.

PIE.

SPY!

You cannot – i repeat cannot – CAN NOT make this stuff up!!!

Christmas really did just cum early Wonketteers –

Juli, Sara, Jim, Ken, Riley – get to this one – mush, mush, mush!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/10/28/palins-pie-spy-business-c_n_336787.html

Sharkey October 28, 2009 at 3:26 pm

[re=445592]jokahmon[/re]: PieSpy is a Java IRC Bot used to infer and visualize social networks on internet relay chat.

DustBowlBlues October 28, 2009 at 3:31 pm

Meanwhile, a few hundred mid-list authors learned their series has been cut, that the publisher will put $0.00 into promotion for their newest book and their contract is re-worded so they have to hire a lawyer to read it, yet again.

I hope these dip shits lose their fucking shirts on this thing.

MarSF October 28, 2009 at 4:55 pm

I’m just glad you used that Blingee again for this post. It is excellent.

contentsunderpressure October 28, 2009 at 5:04 pm

[re=445376]Can O Whoopass[/re]: haha

Unlearned Hand October 29, 2009 at 5:57 am

$1.25 million = 36,602,996.49 Russian rubles. She can spend that at GUM-Anchorage when Putin kicks her snowbilly state’s ass.

JDHART October 29, 2009 at 6:06 am

who’d buy this twaddle?

villageatrois October 29, 2009 at 6:21 am

$1,250,000? Real Yankee dollars?

Oh, Lord I repent me of every cruel thing I ever said about Your Servant Sarah. I am so ashamed of the times I accused her of aborting her holy foetuses and her Public Safety Director. I repent particularly the critical things I said and felt in my heart about her raimants, their subsequent return to RNC, and the sagging nature of her body parts arrayed therein. I know that it was only my own cynicism that called her out for sacrificing her eldest and youngest sons as crass campaign de-ploys, to Iraq and Bedlam. Forgive me, Lord.

In His name,

xxxx

Opening bid — I can do a couple dozen Hail Marys, but I need a little Holy vindication of the lottery tickets I’m holding. Whaddya say?

Amen

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