Cash-Strapped Disney Character Agrees To Represent ‘Green’

  rumors on the internets
  • What happens when a soulless pagan forest pixie asks to be removed from the RedState listserv? Well, to quote Christ… [RedState]
  • Tinker Bell is a fucking whore. [Michelle Malkin]
  • Dear Barack Obama: Focus! Focus on Afghanistan. Glue a map of Afghanistan to the back of your eyelids, so that you can focus on Afghanistan whilst you slumber. What are you doing right now? Eating lunch? You mean, not focusing on Afghanistan? See? Do you see the problem here? [Hot Air]
  • What America needs now more than ever is some good ol’ fashioned conservative pessimism and/or some classic doomsday scenarios — both, if at all possible. Thank you. [Powerline]
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About the author

Riley is an "internet blogger." He has written for such internet websites as True/Slant and the terrible Brangelina gossip emporium "The Huffington Post." Riley lives in northeast DC, near H Street. Maybe you do too and want to hang out?

View all articles by Riley Waggaman

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81 comments

  1. AbstinenceOnly Ed

    What other kind of whore is there? Because if there’s a non-fucking whore, what a rip off.

  2. queeraselvis v 2.0

    Lordy, I need a shower and a gallon of brain bleach after reading the stooooopid on Malkin’s comment board. Mind you, methinks Malkin is jealous because the UN didn’t name her the Honorary Ambassador for Shooting Ping Pong Balls Out of Your Snatch.

  3. AbstinenceOnly Ed

    I am convinced the Michelle Merkin is so ashamed of her Filipino heritage that she actively wants global warming to continue melting the ice caps, raising sea levels, and eventually to cover the entire Phillipines so she can pretend she’s just another tan ‘Murrcan.

  4. V572625694

    It’s a sign that the media’s echo chamber can be a funny thing, prone to the vagaries of news judgment, and an illustration that, in politics, context is everything.

  5. Gorillionaire

    Ha ha you made me click over to Red State and Michelle. At least I got a kick out of their commenters’ “handles”. How fucking cheesy do you have to be to go on Michelle Mimi Miyagi’s blog and call yourself “Truesoldier” or “The Independent Patriot” or whatever. Pretty fucking cheesy, that’s how much. I mean wow was “Eagle Cock Throbbing in my Red White and Blue Speedos” already taken? Because that we could respect.

  6. hobospacejunkie

    Ha ha, queeraselvis said snatch. Michelle Malkin looks like Mickey Rooney’s girlfriend in Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

  7. hobospacejunkie

    [re=444919]Gorillionaire[/re]: Crying Eagle Cock Throbbing in my Red, White & Blue Speedo.

  8. Crank Tango

    I wanna hate bang michele malkin so bad I am willing to overlook everything, including the fact that she is prolly a dude.

  9. AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=444919]Gorillionaire[/re]: If it wasn’t such a pain to re-register on Wonkette, “Eagle Cock Throbbing in my Red White and Blue Speedos” would be my new handle.

  10. Tommmcatt

    Why do I get the feeling that Malkin would love to find some poor 10-year-old, cover their head with a pillowcase and beat them until they stop moving?

  11. give us a bob

    Invoking scripture over listserv requests? Does he also outsource his CAPTCHA validation to Our Lady of the Sorrows?

  12. Crank Tango

    [re=444934]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: you can just change it on the profile page, but it might be too long. Maybe anniegetyoureaglecock?

  13. Guppy06

    The RedStater needs to be burnt at the stake for using the NIV version rather than King James’!

    And Tinkerbell may have been stripping in “Disneyland Memorial Orgy,” but at least she doesn’t work on K Street!

  14. finallyhappy

    Discuss and explain to me what i just read. “the Nobel Peace prize was a bribe to influence the President. He should have refused it”. So was it a bribe for him to help the world to be more peaceful, to end the war in Iraq and Afghanistan? I do not understand how trying to influence him to bring about a more peaceful world is a bad thing. help me!

  15. gurukalehuru

    One of the commenters over there called her “Stinkerbell.” I actually thought that was quite clever, for a retard.

  16. Big Al1317

    Ugh, those commenters are morons and unfunny. I would suggest some wonkette folks infiltrate their board, I mean bored.

  17. widget09

    Thanks Douchebags, I’ll never get the smell of that garbage dump “Powerline” out of my nose.

  18. Crank Tango

    [re=444957]Big Al1317[/re]: I wanted to sign up as chingchongpingpong but I couldn’t figure out how, and god knows I didn’t wanna stick around that claptrap long enough to find out.

  19. gurukalehuru

    “You have to love a book whose last chapter is entitled ‘The Audacity of Hopelessness.’” No, no you don’t.

  20. Nappied Hypotenuse

    I promise to say only one good thing about The Derb ever: That cover is good. Okay, that’s not a nice thing about The Derb, but about the graphic artist at Crown who came up with it. The Derb is still a racist pedophile.

  21. shadowMark

    [re=444966]Servo[/re]: Tinker Bell and MicheŸe Bachmann. Frenzied lesbians in a pelvic grind of forbidden lust. From Disney/Pixar/Marvel.

  22. user-of-owls

    If Tinkerbell is an actual fucking whore (as opposed to a ‘gently beating wings-job whore’), her clientele must be limited to unfaithful hummingbirds. And Joe Lieberman.

  23. Redhead

    ” On October 27th, 2009 at 11:08 am, Truesoldier said:

    Actually, I think it is appropriate that the UN wants to use a fictional charachter to promote their agenda based on ficitional science.”

    Okay, quick question. Was I the only one who was taught, unequivocally, that global warming was very, very real in elementary school? We were not taught that it was a theory or an alternative or a possibility, we were taught that it was happening. Anyone else?

  24. user-of-owls

    [re=444976]Redhead[/re]: Oh, whippersnapper. The extent of my generation’s environmental education was being guilted into not throwing heaping bags of trash out the car window because we’d make an old Indian cry.

  25. Crank Tango

    [re=444980]user-of-owls[/re]: LOL “userofowls”, let’s not forget “give a hoot, don’t pollute,” and that bear that was gonna eat our babies if we started another fucking forest fire.

  26. Potater

    Doesn’t Cinderella already represent the government’s seatbelt program? What whores these princesses be.

  27. Redhead

    [re=444985]Crank Tango[/re]: We had smokey the bear! We also had some magazines we read in my class that talked about how using hair spray put holes in the atmosphere, making my mom’s life SO fun as I then ran from her hairspray-holding self before dance recitals.

    We also had a club that met before school to roll up those plastic grocery bags because then you had to roll them and take them to special places to be recycled, and not the huge igloos behind the school where you stuck newspapers, cans and bottles (sorted by color, glass and brown separate). So see I’m not THAT young if I remember the days before curbside recycling. Right?

  28. Servo

    [re=444976]Redhead[/re]:
    I think a little common sense is employed, too. However, common sense is not common. The Repugnant perspective is of a limitless planet and resources. Comparative images are necessary to explain even the most obvious facts to them. Most people are completely unaware that our atmosphere is a mere 20 miles thick. That fact doesn’t hit home until I explain that it’s like a coat of paint on a basketball. I then elaborate that since the heat from cities can only go up so far, it must therefore spread outward by convection currents and the jetstream…all around the globe. Period. No charts. No graphs. No defiance.
    What’s comical is that the small change being asked would save them money, reduce funding of our enemies, create jobs, and inhibit the wild price fluctuations of energy. But, because Lush Rimjob is the final word…
    Repugnants have equated freedom with not having to sacrifice.

  29. Redhead

    [re=445001]Servo[/re]: Maybe I should point out that the majority of my elementary school education was during the Clinton administration, if that makes any difference. But I just don’t remember it every being an issue. I don’t remember parents getting mad that this was being taught, or protesting or calling it pseudo-science or anything of the sort. Maybe I was young enough that it went over my head, but global warming (and evolution, for that matter) were just fact that I learned in science class, like that plants get energy from the sun instead of eating food and that atoms are composed of electrons and protons and neutrons. I didn’t know that anyone thought differently until I was much older.

  30. tootsieroll

    [re=445003]Redhead[/re]: Well you probably grew up and was edjumacated in some commie hippie librul region of ‘Meruka. You know, where those liberal elitist teachers indoctrinate the young.

    I was influenced by the good ol’ crying Native as well, but my budding socialist children are learning global warming is a reality. In fact, my poor daughter was distraught thinking the Earth might not be here hundreds or thousands of years from now. Iz so proud of her.

  31. hobospacejunkie

    [re=445003]Redhead[/re]: Whoa, easy there young commie! What’s all this liberal protons, electrons, neutrons hippie lysenko “science” you’re spouting here? Take that to huffpo or kos, pothead.

  32. Servo

    [re=445003]Redhead[/re]:
    I should point out that the majority of my elementary school education was during the Clinton administration
    Back when people had more work than spare time to spew hatred from their orange, duct-taped recliners. The tards were always there, but it was the internet that allowed them to bond, thereby becoming louder and more obnoxious.

  33. norbizness

    Quick hint, people: thwart whatever insipid hit-generating agreement Wonkette has with these garbage dumps by… oh, I don’t know, say… not fucking clicking over.

  34. finallyhappy

    [re=445003]Redhead[/re]: oh, Jeebus, you babies- I went to school when we would practice going out into the hallway- no windows- with our lunches in case Cuba hit us with a bomb. See, then the breaking glass wouldn’t hit us. The global warming coming from a bomb would melt us though

  35. Servo

    [re=445003]Redhead[/re]:
    We had Jimmy Carter tell us to turn down the thermostat and wear a sweater. People went ballistic, despite the reality check delivered via OPEC’s kick-in-the-nuts oil embargo. Imagine if we had gas rationing today. Jeebus tap-dancin’ Christ on a pogostick!

  36. Simba B

    [re=444919]Gorillionaire[/re]: Oh, pffft. The best ones are the ones who co-opt satire without realizing that they’re doing it—I’ve seen Dr. Strangelove avatars on conservative Websites, I’ve seen Howard Beale references made un-ironically, and of course there’s always that group of lost souls that some Ohio State psychology person found who think that Stephen Colbert is for realz.

  37. PoignancySelz

    [re=444991]Jim89048[/re]: Tx, Good one, but I think the message worked to some degree. Because….poignancy sells.

    [re=445001]Servo[/re]: [re=445012]hobospacejunkie[/re]: (Warning: Snark free comment)If we really are just all corporate automatons, the good news is that a bunch of corporations seem to be paying at least lip service to being Green, e.g. Car Companies, Hotels, BP, etc.

  38. user-of-owls

    [re=445003]Redhead[/re]: It’s genuinely enlightening, and a little bit encouraging, that you and your spry cohort have actually been exposed to the empirically supporting truth about environmental destruction. When I mentioned my generation’s Crying Indian, I wasn’t being snarky. Look at the ad, and see how far we’ve come.

    http://www.thewall.net/view/547/psa-native-american-1970s/

  39. AutomaticPilot

    [re=445003]Redhead[/re]: [re=445029]user-of-owls[/re]: I, too, was in the Crying Indian generation (for Christ’s sake, we didn’t even call him the Crying Native American!), and I also remember just crushing pop cans and throwing them in the trash.

    I also remember we were so poor that I had to eat bacon grease sandwiches for lunch. Okay, not really. Let me just hit the submit button before I start talking about rotary phones and glass gallon milk jugs. (Heh… I said jugs.)

  40. hobospacejunkie

    [re=445029]user-of-owls[/re]: “Cuz if you don’t pitch in/It won’t be America…anymore.”

    Anyone have a tissue? I think I got something in my eye.

    That was some goddamn effective propaganda. Back when Lake Erie caught fire & Gary, IN was covered with steel mills. Now all the really good pollution is in out of the way places like formerly mountainous West Virginia, where the media apparently isn’t allowed to witness serial mountain top removal.

  41. Crank Tango

    [re=445032]AutomaticPilot[/re]: “we parcells have had our share of rock soup and squirrel tail…but we’ve also known lean times.”

    [re=445003]Redhead[/re]: Clinton eh? Now you’re making me feel old. That gives me a sore hip…where’s my pills?

  42. hobospacejunkie

    Yeah, how ’bout that early morning milk delivery. Even in the western ‘burbs of Houston in the early ’70s.

  43. tootsieroll

    [re=445029]user-of-owls[/re]: No lie, I was training for a 3 day walk for months, and one day I recalled the ad campaign, noticing how far we have come because there is very little trash on the side of the road. Granted, this is that faggy liberal state of Massachusetts but still.

  44. Redhead

    [re=445010]tootsieroll[/re]: Funny you say that. I actually drew up in the south (gasp!) in a town populated by yankee transplants/the rare breed of Republican (double gasp!) that actually thinks – ie, people with lots and lots of money who vote Republican to protect that money. Course we also had what, close to ten universities (not counting the community colleges and diploma mills) within a 40 mile range or something, so who knows. Are college professors still considered liberal if they buy a huge house in the epitome of suburbia and do everything they can to keep the underprivileged out of their schools and neighborhoods?

    [re=445018]finallyhappy[/re]: We did that too! We just called it tornado drills instead of Cuba drills. Same thing though. :)

  45. Paul Tardy

    Hiring a white blond chick who shows off more leg than is proper in a serious office as a spokes model, how NOT multi cultural. I think they should have gotten one of the Bratz girls. BTW, are they still having legal issues?

  46. shadowMark

    [re=445047]Paul Tardy[/re]: Strangely, the giant corporation has won and crushed the successful upstart and made $100 million dollars in the process. Although this is kind of like the Ayn Rand thread invading the Tinker Bell thread.

    Mattel awarded $100 million in Bratz lawsuit

    So now the Bratz designer is trying to talk Tinker Bell into going on strike and stopping the engine of the world but I think that engine is kind of sputtering right now anyway.

  47. DoktorZoom

    [re=445035]hobospacejunkie[/re]:
    Cleveland, city of light, city of magic!
    Cleveland, city of light, you’re calling me
    Cleveland, even now I can remember
    ‘Cause the Cuyahoga River
    Goes smokin’ through my dreams

    Burn on, big river, burn on
    Burn on, big river, burn on

  48. Jim89048

    All the trash generated at my elementary school went into an incinerator out back. The heat generated wasn’t even harnessed, nor was the smoke contained in any way. So yeah, we’ve made some improvements here. Too bad we’ve off-shored most of the polluting industries. USA!

  49. chascates

    On October 27th, 2009 at 11:17 pm, CrazyFool said:

    Why not?
    A fictional Character for a Fictional Crisis.

    Like the fictional high unemployment and the fictional GOP family values.

  50. chascates

    And the winner is:

    It’s all about (brainwashing) the children!

    Yes, that’s exactly what it’s all about. Many parents let their kids watch Disney videos over and over and over, not realizing that they are being brainwashed with leftist ideas.

    The animated Tarzan brainwashes them to think that anyone with a gun is evil.

    The animated Pocahontas doesn’t tell the truth about Pocahontas… it doesn’t tell you that she converted to Christianity. (Her baptism is featured in one of the paintings in the rotunda of the U.S. Capitol building). Instead, it paints a picture of the white settlers being “intolerant” (”Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?”)

    The animated Hunchback of Notre Dame depicts the Christians as evil.

    I could go on and on.

    And consider this… when was the last time you saw a Disney movie that featured a traditional family, with both a father and a mother?

    Even in Finding Nemo, the traditional family is shattered by the violent death of the mother, and the father is mockingly disfunctional.

    This ain’t Walt’s “Disney” anymore.

  51. TVarmy

    Does Eric Erickson know that he’s a joke? Is Colbert okay with this guy taking his shtick?

    Shame the liberal media keeps reality from mirroring what shows up on these links.

  52. El Pinche

    [re=445065]chascates[/re]: “I could go on and on.”

    WHY DIDNT HE!??? FUCK!!! What a tease!

    This person has a point. Ever since I laid eyes on Tinkerbell, I’ve had a thing for spinners.

  53. hobospacejunkie

    OT: Regarding the odious & unctious Sen. Lieberman (thanks for nothing, Al Gore): Will no one rid us of this turbulent assklown?

    Jesus Pig-fucking Christ how many times will he kick the Dems in the balls yet pay no price? Oh to hear word of President Obama walking up to Lieberman & punching him square in the puss. The joy in my tremulous heart to see Sour Joe drop to the floor like a sack of potatoes, such a horrible little man.

  54. gurukalehuru

    [re=444997]Redhead[/re]: Since we are all confessing our age groups, I would guess I am slightly younger than finallyhappy, and a presidential term or so older than userofowls.

  55. dave666

    I miss those days when you could throw your garbage out of the car along the road. It made for a cleaner car

  56. Tundra Grifter

    “soulless pagan forest pixie” – that’s good stuff, Riley!

    Although I did briefly think it was another post about Caribou Barbie.

  57. PsycGirl

    Tinkerbell slapped Jim Inhofe in the face the other day and no one stopped her.

    I hope that hyperlink thing words coz it’s a loooong URL

    [re=445094]gurukalehuru[/re]: I’m 49 next week and don’t care who knows it. As for my handle, “PsycGirl” just sounds so much better than “PsycMiddleAgedWoman”.

  58. PlanetWingnuta

    [re=445140]PsycGirl[/re]: if you have gone to never never land like you were supposed to this would never have happend :)…happy birthday.

  59. Rascalcat

    Riley, dude, rule #1 of the liberal, internet, tubes and things: DO NOT AIDE AND ABET THE ENEMY BY PROVIDING LINKS TO THEIR SITES.

    No soup for you, today.

  60. Phil46526

    Watching these politicians is like watching a bunch of elementary kids on a playground. I have to talk up the website http://www.Dearpolitician.org. The site totally rocks! You want to write your politicians without the hassle of looking for all their addresses, printing them off, buying paper, envelopes and stamps, then you need to check http://www.Dearpolitician.org. Not only are they FREE and non-partisan, they will even deliver your letters to all the politicians you choose the same day. You can even send your letter to complete Senate and Congressional committees. Check these guys out!

  61. PsycGirl

    [re=445453]Phil46526[/re]: What, you don’t have to pay 29.99? Of course the letters probably don’t look like pink slips….still…

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