Wonkette
In what is otherwise a fairly straight article about the latest failed hijinks from one of our nation’s two esteemed political parties, a reporter for the Hartford Advocate either forgets to put a certain phrase in quotes, or is just WACKY. Here’s a link, for using one off-key phrase, out of nowhere, in some alt-weekly! [Hartford Advocate]
Its like the Republicans have stopped trying.
The writer is an opinion writer, and according to Fox “News”, this means he can say whatever the hell he wants without reflecting poorly on the journalistic integrity of his employer.
Wow, the Republicans set up fake web sites in those people’s names, too. If you can’t beat them on a discussion of the issues, go for the underhanded tactics. Klassy, folks.
Tweets mocking those spendy, liberal bastards? Yeah, no one would’ve been onto that ruse. Next up, releasing fake White House press releases mocking the Nobel Peace Prize committee, Mary Landrieu’s free lunch insurance scheme & Harry Reid’s tiny dick.
Opinion-writing bastards!
“That’s unfortunate,” was state Republican Chairman Chris Healy’s response when told of Twitter, Inc.’s decision. “I’m not quite sure what the issue is, other than that the Democrats were successful in stopping free speech.”
Wow… “free speech.” Is that what they’re calling identity theft these days?
The Hartford Advocate apologizes for any misunderstanding. The phrase “liberal tax-and-spend bastards” refers only to a special pinko gay muslin team parachuted into Alabama to sow panic and confusion behind Republican lines, and to collect one hunnert mouth-breathin’ cracker scalps for each member.
“Twitter, Inc.” sounds positively evil.
I think they would be better off incorporating as “Twitter, Private Limited”
In other news, the Hartford branch of Mothers Against Drunk Driving will be holding a charity event on Friday. The money will be used to raise awareness of the damages drunk driving accidents can wield upon families, said the stick-in-the-mud frigid cunts.
Serolf Divad: These are Republicans, so they don’t know what free speech means. Here, not only was the behavior fraudulent, but they were stifled by the Twitter company, not the government, so freedom of speech isn’t involved anyway.
Generally, of course, stifling free speech means criticizing anything a Republican says. This does not apply to what Democrats say, of course; anything that could be construed as mildly controversial must be immediately condemned by all.
Serolf Divad: Well, according to their papist supreme court, free speech is also throwing never-ending piles of cash at elections, so yeah, identity theft also = free speech. It’s probably in the bible. The papist one, anyway. Or maybe the Opus Dei one.
Healy is unrepentant: “I really don’t care what a bunch of college professors from liberal colleges think.”
This message brought to you by Chris Healy, College of the Ozarks kkklass of 2013.
Serolf Divad: or TOS violation.
Inglorious Basterds!
typical Repugs. Not sorry for what they did, just sorry for the fact that they got caught.
If you lie down with twats you will get up with your free speech stifled. Everyone knows this.
There is a difference between “the art of using the internet to seduce voters” and “cheating.” It would seem the Republican party of Connecticut is incapable of making that distinction.
Much like their more Southern, rural, and less financially well endowed co-ideologues, who cannot distinguish between “their asses” and “a hole in the ground.”
I would love to meet the old school Republican fat cat who sits in his smoke filled room, wearing a tailored suit, drinking a scotch, and checking his fucking Twitter account.
Now don’t be criticizing those Connecticut Republicans, they are Swamp Doughnut Joe Lieberman’s only base constituency.
queeraselvis v 2.0: That Healy guy comes off as a parody of a right-wing douchebag; he seems too smug and cliched to be real.
takes12no1: I’m impressed that they were surprised at getting caught. Who would have thought that the Dems would have found out about fake Tweets under their names?
“I really don’t care what a bunch of college professors from liberal colleges think.”
Ladies and gentlemen, I present your conservative movement in a nutshell.
When I graduated from Penn State in 1992, there were still plenty of conservatives pursuing college degrees. I guess modern conservatives shun college and higher education (anything past the sixth grade,) which is quite a shift.
Since conservatives no longer care what liberal professors think and thus no doubt attend college, I think universities should arrange outreach programs so that college students can attend militia meetings and John Galt-style Libertarian industrial compounds hidden in remote forests. Conservatives have every right to give up on education, but I maintain that we’ll all come off more well-rounded if we manage at least some exposure to these people.
JMP: Yeah, he really sounds like a sweetheart, doesn’t he? Apparently it was his idea to change Republican strategy from going after the base to just going base.
There’s also the Carrie Prejeant school of free speech. Example:
CP: The Geh should be denied the right to marry.
Chorus: You’re an ignorant slut with fake, if nevertheless appealing, tits.
CP: Cheeze, what happened to my free speech rights?
As a side note, I think the picture accompanying the story — an extreme closeup of a doughy white guy’s thick neck emerging from the unbuttoned collar of a blue dress shirt with a suit jacket thrown over it — should just be used as a file photo to illustrate every story about Republicans ever.
Larry McAwful: I’m not exposing anything to those people. They have teeth. At least the ones north of the Mason-Dixon line.
queeraselvis v 2.0: Then do what us libruls did in college, which was not show up to class and proceded to repeatedly hit the gravity bong.
Accusing the Republicans of having a “scheme”? WACKY!
They are just trying to get us to slack off on 2010 by pretending to be idiots, right? This is the best they’ve got?
Well, they’ve got fake accounts on twitter and a platform of Spend Spend Spend and Debt to Number One Lucky Star Shanghai Bank Foreverz!
Wait, should I have put that in quotes?
Larry McAwful: Ugh, no. Then we’ll have even more of those stupid protests outside of my town’s Planned Parenthood. If I get hit with one more rubber fetus I am SO leaving this school.
Chris Healy caught stealing: “I don’t really care what a bunch of liberal cops from liberal police academies think.”
Chris Healy caught perpetrating insurance fraud scheme: “I don’t really care what a bunch of liberal actuaries from liberal business schools think.”
Chris Healy caught masturbating: “Fuck you, Jonah Goldberg.”
JMP: maybe he is a democrat posing as a republican posing as a democrat?
I’m convinced that the Republican Party is entirely comprised of a single roving gang of 30-50 smarmy honkeys in sportscoats; when needed in person, like in the Florida recount debacle, they go down and start yellin’ up a storm. When needed in the virtual realm, they turn to an IT expert named Brinks or Brooks or Bartlett to fuck with Twaddle Stupidity Generating Concern, LLC.
hobospacejunkie: Chris Healy still loose on the streets: “Conclusive evidence that Hartford was not one of the 36 cities included in the sex-with-children raids.”
The good news is, Rush Limbaugh will find out about these websites and quote them … leading to further exposes that he is a douchehard. And then KeithO can blow another 15 minutes of airtime guffawing at Fat Rush. The cycle continues. (I predict that Parody Detector will soon become one of the new Best Jobs in the media biz.)
Larry McAwful: Nah, conservatives don’t shun college, just liberal colleges; Regents U and College of the Ozarks give a fine, inferior conservative education, without any of those inconvenient facts like science and history.
What is WRONG with these people???
It’s like they are still using the old Gordon Liddy dirty tricks playbook from Watergate.
norbizness: Your theory is really good except that at some point, one of them has to pull off a rubber mask and turn into my 75 year old wingnut mother.
Upon further review, I can report that in fact, NO city in Connecticut was targeted in the child prostitution sweep.
http://www.fbi.gov/innolost/cross_country.htm
This, of course, raises the question of why Chris Healy has failed to provide conclusive evidence that he is not pimping children. America wants answers, Mr. Healy!
Next, Chris Healy organizes a Watergate-style break-in of the leninist Girl Scouts of America. Free speech, dudes.
smitallica: “Conservative movement in a nutshell?” +1 for sentiment, -1 for redundancy.
Hladky always talks that way. Check out this hippie pic of Glenn Beck. http://hartfordadvocate.com/article.cfm?aid=15172
user-of-owls: http://www.chrishealy.info/
Darkness: Your mom cost Al Gore the election.
Don’t forget Connecticut: your days of browsing the internets free of Paultarditude are over, because one of their own is running for Senate. In fact, I believe they are preparing to drop Moneybombs from their menacing Zeppelin onto Yale!
norbizness: Not only a roving gang of honkeys, also a Rove-inspired gang…
Chris Healy was arrested for drunk driving in 2007.
Wonktards, the floor is yours.
“He said Republicans want voters to understand how badly they’re being screwed by the Democrats who approved billions in new taxes rather than cut spending.”
Oh hey, not to worry, we were watching when you boys dragged us into Iraq, gave your buddies huge tax cuts, shoveled money to your contractors, etc, all on the national credit card. So eat shit and die.
loquaciousmusic: another infringement on his rights, man.
S.Luggo: Brilliant! Have you been playing outside, Sluggo?
loquaciousmusic: Are we SURE there wasn’t a child prostitute in the car with him? Why hasn’t Chris Healy produced the long form arrest report?
jfruh: A+
Can we tie this together with net neutrality somehow?
norbizness: Hey, nice try. Even *I* know Al Gore cost Al Gore the election.
This is only tangentially related but I remember a news item about and organized crime figure called Tony “The Genius” Connecticut. I wondered why if he was a genius, he never left Connecticut.
loquaciousmusic: Twice, apparently.
Terry: I presume these sites didn’t run into the realm of parody, so yeah, pretty cruddy.
I do remember a bunch of hilarious “campaign” sites set up in advance of the 1996 election season. Dude went out and bought domain names like buchanan1996, wilson1996, etc. and then put up parody sites. The background for Pat Buchanan’s site was a greyscale pattern of swastikas.
Wouldn’t be possible under current laws/TOS, but it was very funny at the time.
S.Luggo: Nicely played, sir. My hat is off to you.
The New York State Assembly has passed and the governor has signed S. 4053, which makes impersonation on the Internet a crime. The new law has amended the New York penal code makes it a crime for a person to “impersonates another by communication by internet website or electronic means with intent to obtain a benefit or injure or defraud another,”
Free speech?
“Everybody knows Connecticut is a rough and tumble political world,” Lesser said.
Yes, everyone knows that. And cares deeply.
jfruh: Needs different colored collar to complete imagery.
gjdodger: Apparently Beck’s custom of pissing off his hairdresser started further back than I thought.
It’s called a tip, Glenn. They work wonders.
“Und dey knew not deir holes from an ass on duh ground.”
Yes, I’m reduced to stealing from Firesign Theater, 35 years on. Ruff night, ruffer day.
The Connecticut GOP proudly engages in openly felonious behavior! Gets my vote over those sneaky Dem bastards who, by inference, HAVE to be hiding their heinous acts of treachery.
I didn’t read the whole article, but besides the slip of liberal tax-and-spend bastards, it reads as a news article. Are we sure the author is a conservative? What is his past work like?