EFFIGIES ARE FOR PUSSIES  2:04 pm October 26, 2009

Randall Terry Orders, Teaches Everyone To Burn Pelosi & Reid

by Jim Newell

Violent anti-abortion galoot Randall Terry, as manifested on YouTube by this classically trained thespian, would like everyone to do something this Halloween season: form little backyard parties to burn effigies of Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid (as well as any nearby pumpkins! Halloween theme!) Here is the preview of something like that, presumably inspired by the recent fantasy film Inglorious Basterds. [Washington Independent]

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ChernobylSoup v2 October 26, 2009 at 2:10 pm

Goodness gracious. That just doesn’t seem very baby jeesusy at all.

MOG October 26, 2009 at 2:10 pm

Does Jesus have a rebuttal video up yet?

problemwithcaring October 26, 2009 at 2:10 pm

Skoal Rebel cleans up something purtty.

chascates October 26, 2009 at 2:10 pm

To make sure these effigies burn well pour LOTS of gas all around your backyard. Maybe get some on yourself as well.

Lionel Hutz Esq. October 26, 2009 at 2:11 pm

To steal from Bobcat Goldthwait: This is the first time “Harry Reid” and “on fire” have been used in the same sentence in a long time.

ManchuCandidate October 26, 2009 at 2:12 pm

Someone’s beyond bitter about all the candied corn he got at Halloween.

StoneAge October 26, 2009 at 2:16 pm

If you can convince yourself that there’s a magic man in the sky who cares whether you masturbate, I suppose you can convince yourself of a lot of things. Dems are evil, Obama’s a secret Kenyan, we are somehow moving towards both socialism and fascism, etc.

Therein lies the problem libruls face.

twowheeljunkie October 26, 2009 at 2:18 pm

That’s right. Giving health care to the poor and needy will surely mean that you will rot in hell.

Save us from these idiots.

RoscoePColtraine October 26, 2009 at 2:18 pm

If they can’t persuade you with their iron-clad arguments and logic, perhaps the specter of hell will cause you to re-think your position. The christards will have Reid-and-Pelosi-burning-in-hell displays on their front lawn, while their teenagers participate in their church youth group’s hell house for some “reality based” halloween fun. Meanwhile, the gays (who do halloween like NOBODY ELSE) can’t have their party in the Castro anymore. It’s an outrage, really.

Texan Bulldoggette October 26, 2009 at 2:20 pm

Does anyone outside of semi-educated dorks like us & folks on the teevee news channels even know who Harry Reid & Nancy Pelosi are?

Extemporanus October 26, 2009 at 2:20 pm

Burn, baby, burn! Dickless inferno!

freakishlystrong October 26, 2009 at 2:20 pm

There’s some wholesome fambly fun fer ya! Gotta love those values.

Extemporanus October 26, 2009 at 2:21 pm

[re=443533]chascates[/re]: Aborted fetuses make for excellent kindling.

FlownOver October 26, 2009 at 2:21 pm

That was Philip Seymour Hoffman’s worst performance in quite a while.

Gopherit October 26, 2009 at 2:22 pm

you know, masturbation is a lot like abortion. Those sperm should be making babies, xtian boy.

Of course, that would require sex with a woman……and not this:

Hawaiiexpat October 26, 2009 at 2:23 pm




Scarab October 26, 2009 at 2:25 pm

“… but if any of the ‘saved’ children grow up to be liberals, burn them and pray they go to Hell.”

yanquilandia October 26, 2009 at 2:26 pm

What is he doing celebratin’ a pagan holiday like this Halloween!?!?! Looks like ol’ Harry and Nancy are going to have another roommate, in Hell.

Also, that prayer sounded Catholic-y. We all know what happens to papists! (Hell).

Terry October 26, 2009 at 2:27 pm

[re=443544]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]:

They do, but only because they get chain mail emails saying that Pelosi and Reid are in kahoots with the Devil and all.

dum librul October 26, 2009 at 2:28 pm

Harry Reid is anti choice. I have a confuse.

JMP October 26, 2009 at 2:28 pm

Isn’t Harry Reid a fellow embryo fetishist? Guess he’s just not sufficiently crazy about it to Terry and his fellow terrorists.

PrairiePossum October 26, 2009 at 2:31 pm

Save them when they’re embryos so we can burn them when they’re adults.

WWJB = Who Would Jesus Burn?

comicbookguy October 26, 2009 at 2:33 pm

Yeah but when was the last time Reid shot an abortion doctor? He’s not nearly conservative enough. And Pelosi, she turned me into a Newt!

mz_g October 26, 2009 at 2:34 pm

yeah, that’s not crazy at all. i thought religious types didn’t approve of halloween, bc it’s all devil-worshippy.

but i’m very much looking forward to hearing about the related injuries to the effigiers. it’ll be like the 4th of july for the anti-abortion set.

problemwithcaring October 26, 2009 at 2:34 pm

[re=443548]Extemporanus[/re]: That made me bark/laugh. Thanks?

RoscoePColtraine October 26, 2009 at 2:35 pm

God doesn’t want you to go to hell. But I do. (((((Fundamentalist thought)))))

Flanders October 26, 2009 at 2:35 pm

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot??

TGY October 26, 2009 at 2:37 pm

[re=443539]StoneAge[/re]: Well, every sperm *is* sacred, and should be lovingly kept in a little box or a big box, depending.

yanquilandia October 26, 2009 at 2:37 pm

Also, is that one of those Mythbusters dudes???

SayItWithWookies October 26, 2009 at 2:37 pm

I love how hip and edgy Mr. Screamer is — he must’ve gotten his cred from the Stephen Baldwin School of Skateboarding Jesus.

PoignancySelz October 26, 2009 at 2:40 pm

Why burning Randall? You nouveau cathilick. Better to give them pancreatic cancer, then chemo and radiation. And take away their health insurance….what is this Saw VII?

DustBowlBlues October 26, 2009 at 2:41 pm

[re=443560]JMP[/re]: “he’s just not sufficiently crazy about it to Terry and his fellow terrorists.”

To get these people to believe you, you have to foam at the mouth when you talk about fetuses and add a reference about the evils of birth control. Because, you know, they never believe Democrats are all that serious about the subject.

Given the Xianity of these dangerous morans, I’m assuming they wake up every morning and pause a moment to stare at their bracelet and ponder WWJD. The answer that comes to them is, Jesus would preach hatred toward Democrats and encourage his followers to kill libruls. So don’t blame Randall Terry, blame Jeebus.

queeraselvis v 2.0 October 26, 2009 at 2:42 pm

Meh. Needs more NOM, for the production values alone.

mush October 26, 2009 at 2:43 pm

I like the jeebus dudes orange satan sunglasses.

trondant October 26, 2009 at 2:48 pm

Lithium is a hell of a drug. Too bad this guy ran out six weeks ago.

JMP October 26, 2009 at 2:53 pm

[re=443583]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Yep; Terry and his ilk of Catholics love using or threatening violence to try and force others to act as they wish, and have been fairly successful; it’s why there are so few doctors willing to perform abortions in rural areas. They probably long for the return of the good old days of the Spanish Inquisition.

snideinplainsight October 26, 2009 at 2:54 pm

There goes our crazy neighbor, burning congressional leaders in effigy, in his backyard again. Toby, get the garden hose and spray all the fence and the rhodedendrons, would you?

Dad, you’re jamming my signal, man! Can’t you see I’m mid-drop in Halo3 here? Get Suzie to do it this time! Geeeeez! (Bzow!! Bzoww!)

Suzie’s doing all the homework she blew off yesterday. Go do it and I’ll put an extra dollar in your allowance if you spray Randall and his barky dogs a little while you’re at it.

shadowMark October 26, 2009 at 2:55 pm

Oh-oh that dead blizzard horse Wild Fire meme won’t go away:

“OH, let’s go up the hill and scare ourselves,
As reckless as the best of them to-night,
By setting fire to all the brush we piled
With pitchy hands to wait for rain or snow.
Oh, let’s not wait for rain to make it safe.
The pile is ours: we dragged it bough on bough
Down dark converging paths between the pines.
Let’s not care what we do with it to-night.
Divide it? No! But burn it as one pile
The way we piled it. And let’s be the talk
Of people brought to windows by a light
Thrown from somewhere against their wall-paper.
Rouse them all, both the free and not so free
With saying what they’d like to do to us
For what they’d better wait till we have done.
Let’s all but bring to life this old volcano,
If that is what the mountain ever was—
And scare ourselves. Let Wild Fire loose we will….”

RoscoePColtraine October 26, 2009 at 2:56 pm

He’d better put up the disclaimer, “Do Not Try This At Home” before some retard burns his entire neighborhood to the ground. All those dry, dead leaves. Oh, there’s going to be a tragedy.

BlueStateLibtard October 26, 2009 at 2:57 pm

And when the fire departments have to put out all the raging fires, will they still be cursing “Big Government”?

hobospacejunkie October 26, 2009 at 2:59 pm

[re=443539]StoneAge[/re]: Somebody cares if I masturbate? Well it’s about time.

Gorillionaire October 26, 2009 at 3:00 pm

If we nominate a fetus to be Speaker of the House, who will Randall Terry burn then? Huh? HUH!?!?

AnnieGetYourFun October 26, 2009 at 3:01 pm

[re=443544]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: ever one noes that they duh debils!

PsycGirl October 26, 2009 at 3:01 pm

[re=443542]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Not sure what to say about the hell house link, other than I bet “She’s passed out! Let’s rape her!” is not entirely realistic dialogue.

El Pinche October 26, 2009 at 3:05 pm

What book does Jesus have violent morbid fantasies ? I thought that shit was in the old testament.

Dashboard_Buddha October 26, 2009 at 3:07 pm

If you go to the main youtube page, he says it’s satire. Doesn’t satire have to be funny, though?

Barrett808 October 26, 2009 at 3:08 pm

[re=443572]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: You can be fairly certain you’ve created God in your image when He hates all the same people you do.

RoscoePColtraine October 26, 2009 at 3:12 pm

[re=443622]PsycGirl[/re]: I was prepared to give the acting an “A minus” until the guy getting gay married put his hand over his mouth before kissing his new husband. We do live in the post-Brokeback Mountain era, after all. Heath and Jake set that bar pretty high, I guess.

Aurelio October 26, 2009 at 3:13 pm

[re=443565]PrairiePossum[/re]: Who would Jesus burn? Well…

Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels. Matthew 25:41 (King James Version)

This was not one of Jesus’ best moments.

notwavingbutdrowning October 26, 2009 at 3:13 pm

Effigy burning: one more thing that Muslim and Christian religious extremists (Insanistanians) share in common.

[re=443533]chascates[/re]: My thoughts exactly. So long as they don’t live near forests or in California.

[re=443548]Extemporanus[/re]: win

coolcatdaddy October 26, 2009 at 3:13 pm

[re=443548]Extemporanus[/re]: Barbeque?

The Station Manager October 26, 2009 at 3:18 pm

In related news, The Great Halloween Fire of Aught Nine blazed for forty (40) days and forty (40) nights, and torched wide swaths of Middle America.

El Pinche October 26, 2009 at 3:19 pm

[re=443647]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: Apparently God is lame too. Randall terry was supposed to be satire. Instead, he’s just an un-aborted fetus that got away.

Extemporanus October 26, 2009 at 3:19 pm

[re=443668]coolcatdaddy[/re]: No, babyque.

JMP October 26, 2009 at 3:20 pm

[re=443640]El Pinche[/re]: There’s not much violence from Jesus, but Paul certainly had some anger issues; and then there’s whoever wrote Revelations, which was just a violent revenge fantasy. Dude really hated the Romans. But then, apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?

Monsieur Grumpe October 26, 2009 at 3:27 pm

Kids should avoid this guy’s house on Halloween. Imagine what kind of crap he hands out to the Trick or Treaters? Miniature bibles, religious pamphlets and candy corn from the bulk bin.

Balls! October 26, 2009 at 3:27 pm

[re=443557]Terry[/re]: chain mail emails are very heavy

Zadig October 26, 2009 at 3:38 pm

[re=443614]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Don’t worry. God may or may not care, but I have always been of the firm (heh) opinion that America would be less angry and mean if everyone made sure to get their rocks off at least once a week.

queeraselvis v 2.0 October 26, 2009 at 3:56 pm

[re=443661]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Did you notice too that Satan bore a striking resemblance to Rushbo? Coincidence? I THINK NOT.

hobospacejunkie October 26, 2009 at 4:02 pm

[re=443683]JMP[/re]: Romans? Bah. People called Romans they go the house.

PrairiePossum October 26, 2009 at 4:16 pm

I will celebrate Halloween by aborting fetuses in effigy of Randall Terry.

RoscoePColtraine October 26, 2009 at 4:22 pm

[re=443720]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: ZOMG, when he spun around in that swivel chair….., how did they cast that part? “We’d like you to play the part of Satan, Tom, because you’re so disgustingly fat…kids will be horrified when you turn around and let ‘em see your big fat head…” You know that’s how it went down.

Humpback October 26, 2009 at 4:47 pm

I bet Mr. Orange-glasses over-edited man is making money selling flammable pictures of various politicians.

Tommmcatt October 26, 2009 at 5:24 pm


Dude, my MOTHER is part of that everybody.


engulfedinflames October 26, 2009 at 5:41 pm

Asshole loves life, hates his fellow man.

JerkStore October 26, 2009 at 6:19 pm

Randal Terry, or Bam Bam Bigelow? You decide!


MalS October 26, 2009 at 6:57 pm

Excellent idea! Because backyard pyres in autumn, with all those dead leaves on the ground, always end well:


(photo by Joel Sternfeld)

In honor of Mr. Terry I’m gonna celebrate Halloween by handing all the kiddies these: https://www.aquarterof.co.uk/images/jelly_babies_bag.jpg


AndHesEatingBurgers! October 26, 2009 at 8:09 pm

This is another video from Randall Terry’s YouTube account. Give this man an Oscar for best short film:

LowerdPeninsula October 26, 2009 at 10:44 pm

[re=443650]Barrett808[/re]: “You can be fairly certain you’ve created God in your image when He hates all the same people you do.”

Fucking brilliant!

Either this guy needs to get laid, badly, and/or he needs some serious meds for his abortion tourette’s. Dude also seems to be pissed that he’s got a shapeless face, poor thing.

CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us October 26, 2009 at 11:39 pm

[re=443577]TGY[/re]: I kep all my sperm in a glass mason jar in the back of the deep freeze for future use so I can go to heaven.

CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us October 26, 2009 at 11:43 pm

[re=443677]The Station Manager[/re]: That was Satan’s Great Flood.

Suds McKenzie October 27, 2009 at 12:49 am

didn’t recognize him without the hood.

Potater October 27, 2009 at 2:56 am

Are you positive this isn’t Ken Layne taking a break from his Fuck-It-All Coastwide Tour?

Gumboz1953 October 27, 2009 at 12:07 pm

[re=443606]snideinplainsight[/re]: And that, sir or madame, is a better plot than most crap I’ve seen on TV lately. Granted, I don’t watch much.

Gumboz1953 October 27, 2009 at 12:19 pm

Don’t you need oxygen to have fire? Is there really oxygen in the afterlife? Yes? Well, if there’s oxygen, maybe there’s — say — beer. Or Godiva’s chocolate.

Hey, I just started a new doctrine. THERE’S BEER AND CHOCOLATE IN HELL!

Prove me wrong, suckas.

ladymacbeth October 27, 2009 at 8:04 pm

i don’t ‘spose you wonkette overlords are looking at lame-ass comments 24 hours late, but i would like to compliment the use of ‘galoots’.

this is a good word.

Violenza October 27, 2009 at 8:37 pm

EW dude, he’s working on so many levels of foul. Like, Jesus Goblin, Fred Durst, “beatnik” glasses from 1996, unidentified hoodie with likely bowling shirt with flames lurking underneath, random shouting of words…just a really rapey vibe in general.

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