justin long would have said yes

The DSCC Hits The Totally Lame Ball Out Of The Hip, Young Park With This New Ad!

Can everyone please check out the excruciating and clunky allusion that is the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee’s latest video? Why does the weird DSCC want to sell everyone iPod nanos?

See the conceit here is that Republicans are so square because they would rather waste 1,000 unsourced and unexplained hours banning dancing and not understanding kids today than draft health care legislation, which is only the cool Democrats’ fave thing to do, like ever. Also what is that, a jacket and tie on the the Republican?? We’re really supposed to relate to this guy enough to buy a Zune from him? Uh, doubtful.


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Juli Weiner was Wonkette's beloved intern and books columnist and then morning editor until she was hired away by Vanity Fair in 2010.

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  1. Larry McAwful

    I have learned from this ad that chicks in cardigans are hot. Actually, I lie. I already knew that.

  2. martinette

    That old dude at the end says “Don’t care – Don’t care…” Now THAT’s reaching out to young non-voters!

  3. WarAndG

    If it was 1998 it would be Democrat #1 on phone: “Whaaaaazup healtchcare!” Democrat #2 on phone would be like: “Whaaaaazup healtchcare!” Then the Republican on phone would be like: “I don’t know what you’re talking about my homey?” Then there would be this long silence then everybody would be like “Whaaaaaaazup healthcare!!!” or something.

  4. Decker

    “We’re very good at saying no.”

    WRONG, DSCC. The GOP cannot say “no” when it comes to Senate pages, wives of best friends, sparkin’, tea bagging, two wet suits and a dildo, diaper-wielding hookers, trannies, or undercover cops.

  5. hobospacejunkie

    I can’t see it on my phone but I’ll pretend that I can:

    Is that one guy supposed to be Vitter? Bonus points for putting him in a dirty diaper. Looks like they used mashed up pork ‘n’ beans, nice. And why is that guy…oh, that’s Foley with his hands in his pants & a pre-teen boy in the thought balloon. What this has to do with health care I don’t know but it’s about time the Dems unveiled the heavy artillery.

  6. WadISay

    My takeaway from this is that Democrats are more appealing when they’re angry, which I kind of already knew.

  7. norbizness

    So the Republicans are responsible for the Service Pack 2 for Vista glitches I’ve encountered? Those fuckin’ guys.

  8. jagorev

    I made it through about 3 seconds of that before it became too cringeworthy and I closed my browser in horror.

  9. engulfedinflames

    [re=442301]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: I called Snowes office today and the sweet young thing I spoke with told me they have received no rock salt .

  10. zaccapeters

    Vitter-diaper squishiness overlaid with CheezWiz timelessness. How avant garde! Guaranteed to rock the vote to sleep.

  11. WickedWitch

    [re=442281]WarAndG[/re]: Hahahahahahahahahahahaha — so who’s gonna make a fake video of your idea, cuz now I want to see it!

  12. Cranky Little Camperette

    There’s a reason why the Mac ads are 30 seconds long. Because then the writing has to be good. And tight. And funny.

  13. FlownOver

    So send money to the DSCC to keep the likes of MockUs Baucus, Blanche “$$$” Lincoln, Mary “Huh?” Landrieu, Ben “Half” Nelson and Kent “Kent” Conrad in the Senate. Yeah, that’ll move things right along.

  14. Extemporanus

    [re=442279]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: When I was a kid, and online porn was but a gleam in ARPA’s eye, I’d use my Amiga to change the color of girls’ bikinis to match their skin tone, thereby creating a crude (yet pubescently effective) nudie pic. My parents eventually busted me, and it was “Adios, Amiga!”

    Ahhh, bittersweet memories…

  15. Doris Ziffel

    What is she WEARING? Jeans plus minidress plus sweater equals DC bureaucrat, schlumping home on the DC Metro. Can’t see her shoes but I smell Payless tennies. And the two of them overacting, rolling their eyes as they read the weird stilted dialogue. As my father-in-law used to say when certain TV commercials would come on, “Conversations That Never Happened.”

    Ugh. Painful. A 5th-grade video project would turn out more professional.

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