Wonkette
Do yourself a “favor” and scan through this interview with freshman Rep. Gregg Harper, Republican of Mississippi, on the POLITICO CLICK WEBSITE. Question: “What in the world does the Congressional Sportsmen’s Caucus do?” Answer: “We hunt liberal, tree-hugging Democrats, although it does seem like a waste of good ammunition.” Haw haw fags.
Who is your favorite Mississippi literary great: Eudora Welty or William Faulkner?
Neither. I’ll take my law school classmate John Grisham any day.
What’s your guilty pleasure?
Eating dark chocolate Hershey’s Kisses every day.
This person will be in Congress for 30 years and not once pass a meaningful piece of legislation.
(We just didn’t like how he ignored Welty and Faulkner, that’s all.)
He’s so right: Grisham blows Faulkner away, even though the latter got the Nobel. And they’re both from Mississippi! Grisham’s Nobel is probably lost in the mail somewhere.
Hard to believe someone this hilarious was mentored by Trent Lott!
“If Thad McCotter (R-Mich.), Tom Price (R-Ga.) and Aaron Schock (R-Ill.) were all sitting at separate tables, where would you sit?
Probably with Thad because if I didn’t, it would hurt his feelings. You know what a sensitive person he is. ”
HAW HAW he’s so sens-si-tive!
It appears Strom Thurmond wasn’t the only deep-South Republican with a taste for dark chocolate. The only question is whether Gregg Harper likes his with nuts. Given that his name has that super gay double G thing at the end, I’m gonna guess he does …
I think that Grisham’s bestseller The Runaway Cockstain was dedicated to his law school classmate, Gregggg Walker.
Maybe this whole ’secession’ idea wasn’t so bad. How about a national referendum? The whole ‘Old Confederacy’ will have to go.
V572625694: Hell, they give those Nobel dealies to anybody…
Grisham is the best stylist in American literature since Dan Brown. Please.
“Eating dark chocolate Hershey’s Kisses.”
The way he rather frankly admitted to having a prediliction for performing analingus on underage African-American boys was refreshing, to say the least.
Why would he introduce any bills? Are you saying there’s something that needs a-fixing in Mississippi?
Good thing this complete moron won’t pass any meaningful legislation.
His congressional seat is a waste of space that might otherwise be used for a congressional latrine or something else more useful.
Well, at least the Harpers aren’t a downstate version of the Huckabees. Although son Livingston looks a tad light in the loafers, and daughter Maggie is one twitpic away from becoming the next Meghan McCain.
Wow I feel so burned by the gentleman from Deliverance, MS, who likes to “take” John Grisham every day. Hunting democrats! Har har har. It sure is sporting cuz only 20% of people are republicans now. Also we shoot back, dickface.
norbizness: Gregg Harper is set to play the Gary Busey part in the RNC’s remake of Ice-T’s seminal film, Surving the Game, tentatively titled Not Surviving the Game.
So if you see Michael Steele rockin’ the ‘locks, don’t be alarmed. It’s just him getting into character.
I give him four years before he’s photographed blowing underaged male Congressional pages behind a park bench on the Capitol Mall.
someone gave this person a job that doesn’t involve used grease, plastic bags and urinal mints?
The funniest thing about this post is that Newell thinks he can trick us into clicking a link that will lead to random wingnut bullshit. ANo offense meant, but we’ve learned, Jim, learned the hard way. 300 times bitten, twice shy.
Guess his caucus will have to be shooting themselves now:
In April, the Congressional Sportsmen’s Caucus and other sportsmen’s and environmental groups “called for Congress to pass global warming legislation that includes increased funding for natural resource protection.”
http://thinkprogress.org/2009/10/20/gregg-harper-hunt/
…and almost instantly after that last post, I clicked the link.
I will never learn.
Q: Have you broken your streak of not introducing any bills yet?
A: Bill who?
I could deal with his overcompensating machismo and junior high level wit if he would also agree to never vote on any bills. Matt Taibbi had it right. Our legislative branch is in the hands of a bunch of “second-rate country lawyers.”
V572625694: At a website called “Mississippi Writers Page” they put John Grisham first on the list that includes Faulkner and Welty and Williams, and the same list also contains Jimmy Buffett.
Can we tree-hugging liberals please put him on an iceberg with a polar bear? With a camera attached to his head? That would be so awesome HAW HAW HAW.
queeraselvis v 2.0: Mike Huckabee is one of the [really fucked-up]* faces of the GOP.
*Seriously. It will make you cross-eyed.
To give that answer, he better be fucking John Grisham.
America is dead. I blame the South.
shadowMark: Now now, if you clicky the clicky on Buffett’s name, you’ll see that he was born in Pascagoula and “attended” Southern Miss, so by traditional Southern definition, he’s a “native” Mississippian. Still and all, that doesn’t excuse him or Grisham from being considered writers, let alone notable writers.
To be fair, hunting liberal, tree-hugging democrats is a lot more challenging that hunting obese, diabetic, Soldier-of-fortune-reading, draft-dodging Republicans.
shadowMark: “Wastin away again in Margaritaville, lookin for my lost shaker of salt”–you mean that as good as The Bear?
At last, we found a Death Panel, and it is called the Congressional Sportsman Caucus. I can’t wait to see the line of Republicans demanding that he apologize just like they demanded Congressman Grayson to apologize.
Finally, someone who is not afraid to say what we all think: Welty and Faulkner were hacks and John Grisham is Mississippi’s finest literary symbol. “A Rose For Emily” my ass!
he hunts democrats where they don’t exist. safer that way.
V572625694: isn’t as good, I meant to say.
Between the curling flower spaces, I can see this guy hitting pages.
SayItWithWookies: It’s the tree hugging liberals who’ve ensured that this fuckwit has pristine land left to hunt on and enough live game to shoot at. I hope this prick falls out of his tree stand and shoots his balls off. Just a few weeks ago the Arkansas Game and Fish Commission had to halt all turkey hunting (after I had already purchased my tags) because habitat depletion has driven their numbers down so much.
Memo to Rep Gregg Harper: Fuck You
In the unedited version of the article, Gregggggggg admitted an unrelenting daily lust for “n***er-tits”.
obligatory.
http://blingee.com/blingee/view/100930450-In-Soviet-Mississippi-tree-hugs-YOU-
this guy looks like he’s never fired a gun in his life.
Fucking pussy.
Oh, wait, he’s a Republican.
Fucking little boy asshole!
chascates: I get awfully tire of the cheap secessionist jokes here. The solution is simple, and much less drastic than outright secession:
Give congresspersons from south of the Mason-Dixon line 3/5 of a vote on matters that directly affect them, and let the northern congressionals decide everything else w/o the the southern’s input at all. Better decisions get made, the Union is preserved and we can all be happy together.
I’M OLD GREGG!
Extemporanus: I didn’t realize that a Pink Floyd album could be a face of the GOP.
queeraselvis v 2.0: omg.
ChernobylSoup v2: i lurv irony!
If you’re lookin’ for good eating in your long pig, a agree, the heavier, media-type liberals are full of marbled meat & soft, soft muscle. Stay away from our skinny hippie chicks though–we’d prefer to have sex with them.
I dunno…Dark Chocolate is a pretty dangerous flavor there…he might get hisself confused for a metrosexual.
volunteered as a Republican Observer in the Bush-Gore recount in West Palm Beach, Florida
authored a Minority Report in support of Voter Identification.
hunts tree hugging liberals
He’s a wingnuts wingut, I’m sure he’ll do Mississippi proud, sitting in that chair like a stinkin’ turd drawing a paycheck for breathin’.
V572625694: No bears in misissississississippi, un-uh. no way no how.
Gregggggggggg shoots them.
populucious: …and Hershey’s no less. The amn definitely goe for the top shelf.
That extra g on the end of Gregg. Hmm….I ‘d wager he’s spent time on a desert island with a pansy of some sort.
“Have you broken your streak of not introducing any bills yet?
Bill who?”
He continued: Because no legislative battle is ever won, he said. They are not even fought. The debate only reveals to man his own folly and despair, and victory is an illusion of philosophers and fools.
“Palin to do Oprah”
I says so, right there on Politico Click.
I can’t imagine he is aware of the fact that his beloved Hershey’s Kisses are made in Mexico these days.
Neilist? Is that you?
c’mon, Neiist has to be this Harper dude.
Gregg Harperr is a College Of the Ozarks graduate.
Harper, the Republican, likes dark chocolate!
guerilla-nation: Thank you for reminding me that this dude is probably batting for the other team. I was baffled at how a man who purportedly has a taste for the dark chocolate wouldn’t prefer Eudora Welty.
A Congressional Sportsman’s Caucus? Finally - maybe they can, I don’t know, FINALLY FUCKING SHOOT BIN LADEN LIKE YOU PROMISED US EIGHT YEARS AGO, YOU INCOMPETENT BACKWOODS MOTHERFUCKERS!
Sorry - dumbass Southerners make me reach for the Caps Lock.
He’s not aware John Grisham is a big ole Democrat?
surfacenoise76: Yeah. I wonder if Grisham is going to be proud of his “friend’s” endorsement. I asked myself why southerners are so stupid. Since I live in Okrahoma, I looked around and pondered it a moment and then realized: It’s because they’re all so stupid. This isn’t even a chicken and egg thing.
Mr Harper would shit his pants if he saw this libruls’ arsenal. Nyuk nyuk.
My mother is a fish.
V572625694: I’m sure Wm. Faulkner would have appreciated a good Margarita.
I say let’s snare that mother fucker in a leg hold trap and go check on him in a few days; along with his family, neighbors and friends. Yeah, I can be as sadistic as the right wingers; when they want to “bring it on”.
“I never know what I think about something until I read what I’ve written on it.”
“It was not alone all those thirty years which she [Mrs. Hines] did not know, but all those successions of thirty years before that which had put that stain either on his white blood or his black blood, whichever you will, and which killed him”
-W. Faulkner
“One of the reasons we wanted to target Mississippi is, obviously, we are from there,”
- Grisham
“No one “gets it” more than Haley.”
Jesus, this thing is just riddled with sexual innuendo.
“He is also passionate about ministering to those less fortunate and has worked to help families in need in his local community. As chair of the Crossgates Baptist Church Hurricane Katrina relief effort, Gregg helped to distribute money and supplies to those devastated by the storm.”
Yep, I’ll bet he rushed right down to the Gulf Coast and started helping the devastated people who had lost their vacation homes put life back to normal. Nothing helps to ease the pain of bad weather by having a U.S. Congressman liaise with your insurance company. The pleasure boat, the deck, and the Weber grill get replaced by bigger and better models at no cost and in record time. Chocolates for everyone!
Faulkner sucks.
John Grisham is from Arkansas.
forgracie: Ah yes! The shortest line in Faulkner! Are you hinting that Mr. Harper is a retard?
Lascauxcaveman: Too bad we didn’t sell all the confederate prisoners to the Empire of Brazil when we had the chance.
Wait, isn’t Grisham a flaming liberal on quite a few issues?
And, color me guilty, but I read the hell out of some Grisham when I was a middle and high schooler. He’s good for what he does, and shouldn’t even be mentioned in the same sentence as Dan Brown.
LowerdPeninsula: Oh, all of that is certainly true. Grisham is completely decent, there’s no real comparison to Dan Brown. But there’s also no comparison between Eudora Welty or William Faulkner (as much as Faulkner’s style drives me batshit) and John Grisham.
John Grisham is probably one of the best writers that pop literature, as it were, has to offer. This does not set him anywhere close to the same league as actual literary greats from Mississippi.