AGRICULTURAL POLICY SHIFTS  9:33 am October 19, 2009

No Worries If You Want To Smoke Because Obama Is So Chill About It

by Juli Weiner

Good news! If you live any of the states that is not one of the lame ones—that is, one of fourteen that is cool with marijuana for medical whatever—then Obama will not arrest you for that. “Two Justice Department officials described the new policy to The Associated Press, saying prosecutors will be told it is not a good use of their time to arrest people who use or provide medical marijuana in strict compliance with state laws.” Bush did this exact thing actually: he would arrest people even if they were complying with their states’ own laws. Because that is stupid, Obama obviously thinks it is stupid, and will no longer do it. States’ rights: this is literally the Civil War!! [AP]

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ManchuCandidate October 19, 2009 at 9:41 am

It is a US Americun right to overreact with automatic weapons and brutal justice!!! The horror of being reasonable!!

Monsieur Grumpe October 19, 2009 at 9:47 am

Time to invest some money in the stoner snack food stocks.

Prommie October 19, 2009 at 9:47 am

A small step vaguely in the direction of quasi-sanity; not so much a decision to do anything, as a decision to stop doing shit thats stupid. There will of course be outrage.

liquiddaddy October 19, 2009 at 9:50 am

Mmmmmm, cake!

ChernobylSoup v2 October 19, 2009 at 9:50 am

I can just hear the wailing and gnashing of tooth from that one preacher whose website we made fun of last week, decrying these new lax moral standards.

MLHencken October 19, 2009 at 9:55 am

High Times’ subscription numbers just went through the roof.

Serolf Divad October 19, 2009 at 10:04 am

He’ll be lambasted for this decision by Southern rednecks, even as they fire up a joint themselves. Seriously, I saw this very thing happen when Clinton was president and admitted he’d smoked pot (sort of).

drpangloss October 19, 2009 at 10:05 am

I approve of this message. I wonder if Obama is courting the Libertarians?

the problem child October 19, 2009 at 10:07 am

The problem with pot baked goods, of course, is that you get high, then want more baked goods, but are too high to actually bake anything fresh, so you just end up finishing off the 3/4 of a pot cake and they find you hiding under the sink, giggling, and asking for cake.

KilgoreTrout_XL October 19, 2009 at 10:13 am

Hey, it’s a better Monday already. I’d also like to point out the “Eating pot makes you way too stoned” spot from NBC’s ‘The more you know’. Soooo truthy.

PsycGirl October 19, 2009 at 10:16 am

[re=438453]KilgoreTrout_XL[/re]: If I remember correctly, the biggest problem with eating pot is that it takes a while to kick in, causing the uninformed to eat more because the first two brownies obviously didn’t do anything. Ninety minutes later, you all but need a babysitter.

gurukalehuru October 19, 2009 at 10:20 am

It’s morning in America. Wake and bake, everybody!

Nyarlathotep October 19, 2009 at 10:20 am

…but what about the jobs? WHERE ARE THE JOBS, CHOCOLATEY CAKEY NOBAMA?!?!?!

Way Cool Larry October 19, 2009 at 10:21 am

Hey is that an Obama cake a batch of hash brownies?

Heh, brownies.

couchbound October 19, 2009 at 10:26 am

I’m currently lobbying my state legislature to get diverticulitis listed as an eligible condition. All this eating yogurt and avoiding popcorn is killing me.

Prommie October 19, 2009 at 10:28 am

[re=438444]drpangloss[/re]: Ya know, just as there are economic conservatives, and social conservatives, there are economic libertarians, and social libertarians. Social libertarians are the ones who think the law should allow people to do whatevere the hell they want, as long as they aren’t hurting anyone else, so social libertarians would be happy with this. These are the good libertarians.

Economic libertarians are a different breed, they are clinically insane and worship Ron Paul and Ayn Rand. Different animal entirely. These one’s don’t believe in collective action, they don’t believe in any social moral bond or reciprocal duties. These are the evil libertarians. Its a shame there is so much confusion about this.

Lascauxcaveman October 19, 2009 at 10:37 am

Secrit muslin communist nazi kenyan confederate preznit.

TGY October 19, 2009 at 10:37 am

Because that is stupid, Obama obviously thinks it is stupid, and will no longer do it.

This sentence is pure poultry! Poetry. Whatever.

friendlyskies October 19, 2009 at 10:50 am

Next: 40 million bitter teabaggers bitching that Obama didn’t REALLY deserve a Cannabis Cup, because he hasn’t yet grown the Bamamama Purple-Lipped Buds that like… man… hey… um… hey, delicious caek!

hobospacejunkie October 19, 2009 at 11:02 am

I accidentally ate far too much pot fudge once. Was curled up on the floor for hours, unable to banish frightening thoughts from my head. After a while I started puking. Eventually, after several hours, I passed out. Don’t let anyone tell you pot can’t be dangerous and trippy. You just have to ingest or smoke somewhere near an ounce of good stuff to get there. Which isn’t likely, unless you’re a dumbass like me. I don’t have a lot of self-control when it comes to drugs, hence my screen name. Smoke up.

KilgoreTrout_XL October 19, 2009 at 11:07 am

[re=438455]PsycGirl[/re]: Sure, kinda like the notorious drunk-brownie-at-midnight-wake-up-at-4:30am-completely-freaked-out-and-screamy move.

mikey683 October 19, 2009 at 11:30 am

Gee that’s so interesting in light of the fact that the Obama administration says they have to defend DOMA because it’s the law. Isn’t the use of Marijuana against federal law?

DangerousLiberal October 19, 2009 at 11:30 am

[re=438455]PsycGirl[/re]: So true. Like that one night, in Eugene, with the hash brownies. Oh, and the fifth of Jack. JDs needs more regulation than weed. Anyway, just saying that the 3-D spins are really odd.

Manos: Hands of Fate October 19, 2009 at 11:37 am

Man, I fogot how bad a dick Bush was.

Min October 19, 2009 at 11:42 am

‘Bout damn time, sez I.

Crank Tango October 19, 2009 at 11:48 am

Here is the rant I like to post every time on my FB links about pot:


I say send all them fuckers to afghanistan to tangle with the poppy trade and get the fuck out of california.

sati demise October 19, 2009 at 12:05 pm

I dedicate this post to Frank Morgan, who was busted in the LA airport at age 70.

RIP Frank!

thefrontpage October 19, 2009 at 12:08 pm

At least six professional, working doctors and eye doctors have said in recent years that there is amble scientific proof that pot smoking helps with various diseases and eye problems. I think that’s what they said–the Pink Floyd records in the basement were very loud, and I was very distracted by the black lights, and I couldn’t see well because of the heavy smoke in the air. And everyone was making out and eating brownies, too.

BigDupa October 19, 2009 at 12:09 pm

Are there any states that allow pot smoking, gay marrying, and same day voter registration? Bonus points for no sales or income tax. That state would be ready for economy 3.0. “I now pronounce you Adam and Steve. After we cut the pot brownie, please fill out your voter registration card.”

thefrontpage October 19, 2009 at 12:17 pm


WASHINGTON, D.C., October 19, 2009: President Obama has announced the line-up for the next “In Performance At The White House Series:” Pink Floyd, Parliament-Funkadelic, Cypress Hill, Ziggy Marley, Woody Harrelson, Phish, Widespread Panic, and Willie Nelson.


the problem child October 19, 2009 at 12:22 pm

[re=438559]BigDupa[/re]: I’m guessing Vermont might qualify soon. Until then, your best bet would be somewhere on the border between Vermont and New Hampshire.

t_rax October 19, 2009 at 12:23 pm

[re=438557]thefrontpage[/re]: “Amble” – I do not think it means what you think it means.

PsycGirl October 19, 2009 at 12:29 pm

[re=438557]thefrontpage[/re]: Were you doing the dark side of the rainbow?

PsycGirl October 19, 2009 at 12:32 pm
user-of-owls October 19, 2009 at 12:54 pm

[re=438557]thefrontpage[/re]: Five out of six doctors agree! The sixth one would too, but he’s stoned.

DustBowlBlues October 19, 2009 at 1:15 pm

[re=438559]BigDupa[/re]: I’m sure that state isn’t Okrahoma. I wish medical marijuana were legal because I’ve heard it’s great for arthritis and with my painful joints, I’m sure I’d qualify. On the other hand, an ancient okie friend shared the secret to fabulous pie crust with me and I just tried it and damn–it’s better, far better, than the Pillsbury mix I use. (And now I know what the old ladies are doing to make that flaky pie crust of theirs).

However, the recipe involved lard. Plain old, animal fat lard. Which means, of course, that smoking weed for my arthritis could turn me into a diabetic with a serious heart condition.

You just can’t fuckin’ win. Know what I mean?

Eric Holder’s Justice Department has also quit obsessing about adult on adult pornography, something that, while it didn’t get a lot of attention, took an inordinate amount of FBI resources. I know that was the case, because I read it in the CS Monitor, and they don’t take porn lightly.

InKnockYouUs October 19, 2009 at 1:15 pm

You know why Holder and Obama did this? Someone sent this stoned granny to the White House.

Sharkey October 19, 2009 at 1:15 pm

I like chocolate cake. But I don’t eat it every day.

mayor_quimby October 19, 2009 at 1:37 pm

Yes, the 3D spins is a good description of that one time I made brownies. ended up curled up on the floor of my bedroom for a good 3 hours.
I’d totally do it again though, just less of it.

DangerousLiberal October 19, 2009 at 1:45 pm

[re=438633]mayor_quimby[/re]: Word. No one told me that you have to wait for the effects of the brownies. Which is why I ate the whole pan. One Simple Rule: Portion control.

Lionel Hutz Esq. October 19, 2009 at 1:55 pm

So, it is OK for Muslims to smoke Jazz Cigarettes?

TGY October 19, 2009 at 2:10 pm

[re=438537]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]: There should be an official ‘George and Dick’ remembrance day.

Snerdley October 19, 2009 at 2:50 pm

[re=438533]mikey683[/re]: I can’t let that comment go. When did the Federal government ever raid gay married people? I guess the rest of the wonketeers are too stoned to notice your comment, or drooling over Hopey cake.Don’t get me wrong. I defend the right to use medical marijuana, in fact I am a care giver and provide it for my patient. Even though it’s legal here, I still feel like it has to be secretive and can’t be out in the open buying it or growing it, legally.

Brendan M. October 19, 2009 at 3:02 pm

[re=438652]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Obama is a Hashshashin.

assistant/atlas October 19, 2009 at 3:35 pm

I hate to harsh everyone’s mellow, but they’re still closing down dispensaries here in LA, thanks to incorrigible dickhead DA Steve Cooley.–.php

In fact, he’s basically trying to close all of them. I want to go stand on the sidewalk outside of his office with a sign that says “Steve Cooley Wants Sick People to Suffer…Because He’s a Douche”….but I’m just a little too stoned to do that right now….

Bearbloke October 19, 2009 at 3:42 pm

[re=438453]KilgoreTrout_XL[/re]: Word! The last time I ate cannabis, during my Overseas in California, I was stoned for 4 whole days… I’ve learned a bit of moderation since then, especially as it’s highly illegal here and I don’t want to be one of Her Majesty’s “Guests”, despite the fine efforts of the Global Marijuana March people…

Snerdley October 19, 2009 at 3:43 pm
Bearbloke October 19, 2009 at 4:05 pm

[re=438568]thefrontpage[/re]: You forgot to mention the awarding of posthumous Presidential Medals of Freedom to Peter Tosh and Brownie Mary… Legalise It, Barry!

Tommmcatt October 19, 2009 at 4:25 pm


I just read that the shit help slow the progression of Alzheimer’s, too.

Melange Rehab October 19, 2009 at 5:04 pm

[re=438884]Tommmcatt[/re]: Don’t forget that THC has been shown to make cancer cells shrink, also. But the pharmaceutical companies wouldn’t like you to know that; they’d rather make a killing off their cancer “treatments”.

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