Deflating The Last Of The Air Pockets Of Humanity In The Awful Balloon People
Big Oil and Big Natural Gas are fighting, like they always do! It's about energy policy, like it always is! [ New York Times ]
David Axelrod and all his friends are preemptively very offended—on behalf of America—by Wall St.'s big bonuses. [ Washington Post ]
Pakistan soldiers cornered a bunch of Taliban people in South Waziristan, which is a place they really wanted to be for whatever reason. [ WSJ ]
A suicide bomber interrupted a meeting between Shiite and Sunni tribesman in Iraq by blowing it up and killing six military commanders. [ Los Angeles Times ]
The sheriff who has jurisdiction in Evil Balloon County, Colorado, confirmed the hoax and will now be doing everyone on Earth a favor by pressing charges against the hellish Balloon Parents. [ CNN ]
Three people died of non-Detroit-related reasons while running the Detroit Marathon. [ Detroit Free Press ]