It’s here it’s here it’s here! We have not slept since Meghan McCain first promised the promised Daily Beast column in which she would refuse to apologize for her boobs’ preference for pop art. This was the biggest scandal in D.C. politics, just yesterday. “And I hadn’t even exposed a nipple,” she whines emptily and cynically. This whole thing is just such an excruciating exercise in bad faith, in which ole Meg asserts ad nauseum that she, like all American women and daughters everywhere, has boobs, so if y’all aren’t ready to deal with that then you should get ready, alright?

Okay, from the outset, know that Meghan thinks this whole thing is like, so not even worth addressing. Here is part of her 1000-ish word take on why:

For years I have struggled to accept the fact that the way I look in a tank top comes off more “sexual” than a flat-chested woman. And once again I was reassured by the media that someone with my cup size should always be covered up. Or what, I’ll be seen as a slut? It’s pathetic we can come so far in so many ways, but when Rep. Aaron Schock or Rep. Jeff Flake post pictures of themselves without their suits on—and their shirts, for that matter—they are proclaimed “hotties.” But put me in a tank top and I am suddenly an embarrassment to the Republican Party and women everywhere. The double standard is infuriating.

As those of you who follow me on Twitter know, I live my life very openly. I will happily tell you what I’m doing every minute of every day. I will tell you what songs I’m listening to, what movies I’ve seen, and what books I’ve read. (That’s Arthur Danto’s new biography of Andy Warhol in the photo, by the way.) I love reading other people’s Tweets to me.

Haha, okay, several things: JEFF FLAKE? The pansy? Second: Is it possible that Meg McCabe’s ostentatiously specific declarations of love for some new book about Andy Warhol are actually some sort of witty meta-comment on the commodification of celebrity? Third: No.

There’s no corroboration of the deus-ex-Twitter thing, so, T-minus negative two seconds until something exactly like this happens again, and Meg copies and pastes this insipid column and publishes it yet another time, for money. She ends the piece: “I just wanted to get that off my chest.” IF YOU’VE LEARNED ANYTHING TODAY ABOUT RESPECTING WOMEN YOU WILL PAY ATTENTION TO THE WORD “TO” AND IGNORE THE SEX PHRASES OF “GET OFF” AND “CHEST.”

[Don’t Call Me A Slut]

Donate with CCDonate with CC


  1. Now that Meg is a “serious journalist,” I think that Juli should interview for the Wonkette Daily News. Here are some questions that I think she should ask:

    1) If an enormous pair of boobs falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear them, are you still a slut?

    2) Your mother’s private plane crashes on the boarder of the United States and Canada. Where are the survivors/aborted fetuses buried?

    3) If a cock lays an egg on the top of a house, which way will it fall? What about the egg?

    4) Gigantic ta-tas. Discuss.

    5) There are 20 sheep in a field. Nine die. What are you wearing under that tank top?

    6) Your mother has three pills. If she takes one every half hour, how long will it take for her to drive to the pharmacy to buy more with her bogus prescription?

  2. I think Meg is a closet Wonkette reader. What with the Jeff Flake reference and all. Sooooo……HI MEG!!!! Join us, really. Use a misleading screen name, no one will ever know. Let your freak flag fly, girl.

  3. Dear Meg,

    1) The reason no one in the GOPers gets upset about manboobs is because, surprisingly, many GOPers harbor a secret desire to be pec fuck them or lick the oil off them.
    2) Many in the GOP believe that “barefoot and preggers in the kitchen” is true feminism.
    3) Many in the GOP think that girls are “icky” and haven’t discovered that boobs are grand enjoyable things (not that I don’t like to look women in the eye when I have conversations with them… I do, I swear!!!) mostly because they don’t care (see point 1)
    4) This whole attention thing shows you seem to need find a “friend with benefits” and bad. Sorry, but I’m not really attracted to you, but I’m sure that many of my fellow wonketteers would love to be a “friend.”

    Well, good luck with the boob thing.


  4. Remind me why she still hangs around with the GOP? Is it that 28 year old rep guy w/ no shirt? Or is she too insufferable for the Dems, Greens, Libertarians, Constitution Party, and the United Citizens of South Carolina Party?

  5. “Trampy Smurf Shoves Boobs in America’s Face, Tells America “Stop Looking At My Boobs,’ America Says ‘What?’, Smurfette Writes Two Columns About America and Her Boobs, Makes Deadline.”

  6. Hmmm. I only saw one boob in the picture. But she had big bazongas!

    Now I know why they call it a tank top. Because you could cover a tank with it. Or Delaware to keep it dry if it rains.

  7. So…she shoved her tits in everyone’s face, for the express purposes of being provocative, but expected no one to notice she shoved her tits in everyone’s face for the express purposes of being provocative???

  8. I’m sure one of you losers already said it, but in case you haven’t,
    when I die, I want to be re-incarnated as an Andy Warhol biography and just snuggle up with Megs.

  9. Megs Megs Megs. No one cares that you were wearing a tank top. It’s the too-small push-up bra you’re wearing UNDER it that has everyone all a-twitter.

    (Hint: boobs aren’t normally directly under your chin. When you look in the mirror and see them there, it might be time to get a bra that actually fits. Hint #2: fatties (and yes, dear Megs, at most likely a size 18 you ARE a fatty, no matter how much you photoshop your pictures and lie until your claimed size is less than someone 6 inches taller and 50 pounds less than you) don’t typically need push-up bras anyway.)

    And yes, Megs, while all women HAVE boobs, most don’t somehow defy gravity and then post NEARLY nipple exposing pictures online. Unless, of course, they get paid to either swing around a pole or walk the street corner in 5-inch heels and a micomini.

  10. But put me in a tank top and I am suddenly an embarrassment

    Megs, it’s the fact you are jamming your pleasure pillows up and out of the tank top that’s embarrassing, not the tank top itself. To continue with your analogy, tt’s like Jeff Flake sticking a banana in his swimsuit and saying “Wha? What’s wrong with a man wearing a swimsuit?”

  11. Poor Meg. She doesn’t appear to realize that while many women do wear tank tops and sweats round the house, the rest of us don’t use push up bras or duct tape or whatever under the tank top to make our breasts pooch out up over the top of the tank, then take a photo of said heaving breasts and post it to the internet.

    Oh, and most of us don’t take a boobie shot, post it to the internet, then try to pretend that it was really a photo of the book.

    Meg, honey, did your momma or the governess drop you on your head at some point?

  12. Oh, thank God. It had been three hours since the last post on this non-entity and I was worried that the site had been hacked and frozen by Bulgarian cyberpunks.

  13. As a lady with an overabundance of boobage (thanks mom!) I call bullshit on Meg’s “casual” overexposure. Hoisting the girls to such ridiculous heights requires serious engineering and is super-uncomfortable. It’s definitely not the sort of thing you do for a night of light reading, but it IS the last resort for the un-laid.

  14. Meghan is just getting her allotted 15 minutes of fame by boob exposure on the twitter. What’s so bad about that? At least it’s not FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, ALAN!!!!

  15. She knew exactly what she was doing (come ON, look at that picture), and now is garnering huge publicity by “apologizing”. The pseudo-feminist bullshit seriously pisses me off because there are real things to be upset about in that arena. But playing Little Miss Naive and Disingenuous and truly thinking that is just a simple picture of a woman in tank top beggars credulity. Unfortunately, the whole world is buying her storyline here and giving her more fame for being famous.

  16. Truly, if there’s one person that can speak for this generation of heavily-in-debt, underemployed, uninsured 22-to-30 year olds, its a multimillionaire heiress who has accomplished everything because of her family name. Just like Paris Hilton.

  17. Until she turns them into stiff porno-boobs I’ll be glad to watch whenever she trots them out. And if she’d let me, I’d be glad to motorboat ’em too.

  18. “when Rep. Aaron Schock or Rep. Jeff Flake post pictures of themselves without their suits on—and their shirts, for that matter—they are proclaimed “hotties.” But put me in a tank top and I am suddenly an embarrassment to the Republican Party and women everywhere. The double standard is infuriating.”

    Yeah Megs, you’ve just identified why so many of us aren’t Republicans. Come over to the dark side. We know the bigger the cushion, the better the pushin’.

    Also – I think you’ve just established that Republicans are all closeted homos. Which we knew already.

  19. “For years I have struggled to accept the fact that the way I look in a tank top comes off more “sexual” than a flat-chested woman.” Oh the struggle!!! I right up there with the struggle for civil rights. Fight on McGoo. Fight on.

  20. Do Meghan McCain’s breasts get a collective fifteen minutes of fame or does each breast get its own fifteen minutes? Seriously, I want to know how long I’m going to have to hear about this before their 15 (or 30) minutes are up.

  21. Meggie doesn’t get it- she is nothing but a fame whore but seems to think she is something more important. I come from a time when the only person who would have a public photo like this was a porn star- and the photo could only be seen in certain magazines(yes, we did not have the internetz)

  22. For years I have struggled to accept the fact that the way I look in a tank top comes off more “sexual” than a flat-chested woman.

    Oh, boo-hoo. And who are you kidding? You don’t get cleavage from wearing a tank top. Cleavage like that requires advanced foundation garment engineering.

  23. “For years I have struggled to accept the fact that the way I look in a tank top comes off more “sexual” than a flat-chested woman. ”

    We struggle, Megs. We struggle.

  24. I’m with Meggers here. Who would have thought that America would be even slightly interested by boobs? Especially when there’s a mirror reflection of an Andy Warhol book to look at.

  25. The “But I was just showing you my book!” assertion is a lie reminiscient of the Janet Jackson “wardrobe malfunction.” In each case, the act is a non-issue: who cares if Meghan wants to display cleavage photos? She wouldn’t be the first. I get irritated that she imagines people are so stupid they won’t notice that she is obviously deliberately pushing her breasts upward: that this was in fact the entire purpose of the photo. Proud of her boobs? Bully for her. No need to lie about tit.

  26. [re=437078]mookworthjwilson[/re]: And by “struggle for civil rights,” you’re obviously talking about Rush Limpjob’s MLK-like struggle against the anti-fatist, blowhardist, and Thai-boy-fuckingist NFL, right?

  27. See, she offered her semi-erotic services to millions of lonely, horny male Twits because no one had recognized that vital but TOTALLY untapped demo. Now everybody benefits – but of course you commies can’t see this as clear evidence that the market is always right!

  28. She’s wearing a size 2 top with a size 16 body, – of course it’s going to be flowing out. She should save that twitpic and re-create in about 10-15 years, on second thought forget that, Nasa won’t have enough engineers to design the gear to raise those twin peaks above her waist.

  29. McCain: You are a moron.

    Palin: You are a moron.

    Limbaugh: You are a moron.

    Steele: You are a moron.

    Rod “Falcon Steele” Blagojevich: You are a moron.

    Flake: You are a moron. And a pansy.

    Do we see a pattern here? People: You are all morons. And slighty psycho. Please go away, and stop bothering all of us sane people with your insane moronness.

    Thank you.

  30. What if Orly Taitz posed like that on Twitter!

    Come on, Orly, you know you want to!

    How about if Meghan McCain posed WITH Orly Taitz, both naked, on Twitter!!!

    Okay, time for a nap.

  31. Tits and ass.
    Orchestra and balcony.
    What they want is whatcha see.
    Keep the best of you,
    Do all the rest of you.

    Pits or class,
    I have never seen it fail,
    Debutante or chorus girl or wife.

    Tits and ass,
    Yes, tits and ass
    Have changed… My…

  32. Yes, Megan, you are the only ONE in the world who’s ever had to deal with the issue of “covering up” because you’re well-endowed, certainly not a bluestate libtard like myself. Such issues have never crossed our minds, or maybe they did, and we said, “There’s more important things in the world to think about.” This woman is causing me personal trauma, geez, thanks Wonkette.

  33. [re=436977]binarian[/re]: Totally. Yes, Meg, *do* join us! You don’t even have to become a secret Democrat. At least not right away. Many of us actually find you refreshing, and not just totally appalling, like Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, Sarah Palin, and Michelle Bachmann.

    I think your take on being a young 21st Century Moderate Feminist Republican Woman really has legs … *and* boobs.

    None of us thought your tit shot was awful or bad or slutty. Riveting? Yeah. Alarming? A little. And a little needy, maybe, but who doesn’t understand *that*? I’m sure you read more positive comments about your looks and your chutzpah here than anywhere else.

    Tell your Mom to stop by, too. She’s got a little feisty thing going on that’s kind of likable. Yeah, we make fun of her “Ice Princess” look and her multiple prescription drug addictions, but we don’t hate her like we hate Palin and Bachmann.

  34. [re=437017]SayItWithWookies[/re]: As someone who suffers from the same disease, let me point out that *every* writing teacher we ever had said, “Write what you know.”

    I know a little bit about many things. But the thing I know the most about is Me.

    And so I appreciate other self-disclosing writers.

    But Meg, while she’s examining herself and her life and sharing her findings with us, needs to become more honest about her motivations. She was showing off. That’s actually kind of cute, so … she needs to just own it and knock off all the weasel-wording.

  35. [re=437243]responsible commenter[/re]: Thank you! “Amid rampant moral decline we can still get a few things right.”

    Exactly. The world may be ending, but for God/dess’ sake, let’s not all start spelling like Republicans!

    (Did you know that “ad nauseam” was wrong (“ad nauseum”) in the Microsoft Spellcheck Dictionary for over a decade? I blitzed them with letters. I think it’s right, now.)

  36. [re=437084]stellabella[/re]: Yeah, I wonder what Jammacain thinks of this. Considering that he 86’d the wife who waited for him throughout his captivity because she’d become injured and lost her willowy swimsuit model figure, and considering the reports of his anti-fat bias and galloping looksism/sexism, I’m sure he’s just dreadful to his pretty plus-size daughter.

    Daughters get real weird when their Dads don’t approve of the way they look.

    Dang it, zaftig is not a bad thing.
    It’s just that it hasn’t been stylish since 1966.

  37. Lessee she is a fatass and her father hates fatasses so she publishes a picture of her big tits as a counterargument and everyone yells at her.

    So she blogs about the “body-image epidemic that is assaulting young women in America”

    Oh and it is only assaulting the fatasses. Just sayin’.

  38. in solidarity with the beautiful Meg McCabe, i’m changing my wonkette avatar photo to a candid of my package in a banana hammock, holding a copy of Lord Byron’s Don Juan.

    please, all of you, call me a fat slut so I can get off on Meg’s chest

  39. [re=437010]Redhead[/re]: [re=437013]Terry[/re]: Push-up bra? I had just assumed she was hanging upside-down bat-like, though I suppose that would mean she’s duct taped her hair..

  40. meghan learned to attention whore from the greatest teacher in the biz…her father. sadly, it appears that she missed the lesson where he covered “not launching your faux outrage on the same day that some crazy family pretend launches their child into the sky in a shiny mushroom shaped balloon;” shiny objects & crazy children ALWAYS win. no worries though, she’s a smart cookie; she’ll learn from this.

  41. I have this fantasy where me and Meghan are friends and like to go out on the town together. We head over to some bar known for it’s hot men and get into faux fights…”I saw him first, no, girl I TOTALLY saw him before you…” then we laugh. Anyhoo, after a couple bourbon on the rocks (me) and fuzzy navels (Meghan) I get around to asking her, “so why are you a republican, anyway?” Then Meghan explodes into a tirade about how SOMEBODY’s going to have to save the party, blah blah blah. Girl is an attention whore.

  42. I am not perfect and have never given anyone the assumption that I am

    Around five o’clock in the afternoon of my cover for Trout Fishing in America , people gather in the park across the street from the church and they are hungry.

    It’s sandwich time for the poor.

    But they cannot cross the street until the signal is given. Then they all run across the street to the church and get their sandwiches that are wrapped in newspaper. They go back to the park and unwrap the newspaper and see what their sandwiches are all about.

    A friend of mine unwrapped his sandwich one afternoon and looked inside to find just a leaf of spinach. That was all.

    Was it Kafka who learned about America by reading the autobiography of Benjamin Franklin…

    Kafka who said, “I like the Americans because they are healthy and optimistic.”

  43. [re=437154]thefrontpage[/re]: If Oily Taintz and Meggs McCain posed together nude, we’d finally know the truth about whether Orly is pre- or post-op.

    [re=437326]sezme[/re]: Oh she’s duct-taped something, it just wasn’t her hair. Actually, while I’m sure she duct-taped those monstrosities together, she may have had to duct-tape that 34-B push-up bra as the seams split from trying to hold in her 40DDs. (Every girl knows wearing a bra too small for you has the same effect as a push-up bra, and I can’t imagine how she got even her cleavage to have cleavage without wearing a push-up bra about 843948759348 sizes too small.)

  44. Boobs McCain needs to get her TPs straight.

    Either she is proud of her boobs, or they mysteriously peeped out to check out the new angus waffle book like you should.

    You either say “deal with these puppies!” like a proper feminazi or “oh my GAWD I had no idea!”

    Ya don’t say “I had no ideal with ’em!” That’s just confusing.

    I also think she could do a lot with phrases like “bicameral legislature” and “two party system”, “working across the aisle” and “flat tax”. Talk about re-branding the Republicans! Go Meg Go!

  45. I wonder when she’ll realize she’s a Democrat?

    But still, one thing Democrats can be proud of, as a party, is that we’re the most pro-titty party. We’ve got the feminists who want to breast feed everywhere, the arty types who like books and art with naked people in them, the transgender folks who add and subtract their racks to correspond with their soul, and unlike John Ashcroft, our pornstachioed Attorney General is totally cool with seeing Lady Justice’s stone boob uncovered. Yeah for titties! Yeah for America!

  46. Megs, Megs, Megs,

    1. You have eyes. You saw the photo before you posted it. You totally knew your tits were hanging out, regardless of whether that tank top fit you or not.

    2. You love the attention. All you do is write about yourself. We aren’t fucking stupid.

    3. Quit yer bitchin’.

    Did you realize that there are women who have faced real discrimination just because they have vaginas? It’s true! Ask Lily Ledbetter. She never had people say mean things about her boobies, but she was denied fair pay just because she had a vagina. A vagina, I might add, that she didn’t even post a picture of on Twitter. Crazy!

    I wish I could revoke your vagina, just so I wouldn’t have to share a gender with you. Honest to god, it’s embarrassing.


  47. I for one appreciate Meg for drawing attention to her outstanding attributes. As big fan of pretty chubby blonds I can only say Meg you go girl. Free your self, pose for the National Review Centerfold.

  48. “And once again I was reassured by the media that someone with my cup size should always be covered up. Or what, I’ll be seen as a slut?”

    “Covered up”? Hahahaha. You’ve got to be kidding. She even sucks at playing dumb. If you’re pushing your tits up so far that your chin is almost resting on them with near nip exposure and an “I’m trying to be sexy” grin, then you not only take a photo of it, but send it to the world…yes honey, you’re a slut.

    It’s ok though, because today, we are all sluts.

  49. [re=437013]Terry[/re]: For me, and I am forcing myself to have an opinion about this, I’m just really irked by the facial expression.

    A sister’s friend is in my Facebook feed, and she changes her profile pic every few weeks. It’s always one of those shots being taken in the bathoom mirror at a weird angle, but she does the STUPIDEST. FUCKING. THING. WITH HER MOUTH. I know she’s trying to make them look sultry and large, but it ALWAYS looks like she;’s approximating a duck bill.

    And Meg, she also shoves her balloons into the camera. But at least she OWNS the boobage. If someone calls her a slut, she’s like “Sure. Whatever. Boobs rock.”

  50. It’s ok your learning, you didn’t relize that others think you’re a role model, but we understand that your just a person who is single and trying to feel sexy and wanted.

  51. I cringe a little just looking at the photo, because she’s pushing them up so hard that it’s making big creases on top. Doesn’t that hurt?! I know she’s wearing the tank top for comfort, though, so just imagine how difficult it must be when she puts on something with an even higher neckline, like a sweatshirt!

  52. “And I hadn’t even exposed a nipple,” — MM

    Yes, that was one of the problems!

    “she, like all American women and daughters everywhere, has boobs, so if y’all aren’t ready to deal with that then you should get ready, alright?”

    I’d be glad to handle them in a variety of ways!

    “For years I have struggled to accept the fact that the way I look in a tank top comes off more “sexual” than a flat-chested woman.”

    Personally, I always love the ones that look like a pair of fried eggs, sunny side up!

    Zhu Bajie

  53. [re=437725]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: for me, it is not the boob shot alone, it is the saucy smirk, too. both of those together make it look like old style soft porn. Meagan, please, study some history here. yes, you look saucy and boobalicious, but do not complain when we notice!

    right on sister!?

  54. i am a meghan. i ahev a large rack and i post pics onto my twitter w/ my teats. if you dont retweet this comment on 10 other blogs i will fly into your closet tonight and really stretch out your shirts and bras

  55. [re=438200]tombones[/re]: Likewise, I am Meghan. (Today we are all Meghan). I want everyone to know I’m sexy, but I’m having trouble finding the right outlet. I so need attention. It’s tough being the zaftig daughter of John McCain. I have a blahgog, I mean a blog that I’ve just about abandoned for the much better-faster-newer-blonder Twitter and many people read and respond to the nonsense I post, but what I really want is to be the first Republican SuicideGirl for people to take me seriously. I’m trying so earnestly to use Twitter to upload images of myself that are totally hawt. But nobody seems to be biting, actually it backfired in my tits face. What’s a girl to do?

Comments are closed.

Previous articleBalloon Boy: A Case Of Highly Orchestrated Whimsy?
Next articleUm, Would You Like Orly Taitz To Pay Twenty Thousand In Dollars… Or Freedom?