a good day

Only Four Republican Members Of Congress Being Overtly Racist Against Brown People Today

9/11 sure did one foxtrot number on this country: “Four House Republicans are charging that the Council on American Islamic Relations is infiltrating Capitol Hill with undercover interns, and they’re basing the charge on a WND-published book that itself is based on the work of a man who posed as a Muslim to infiltrate CAIR as … an intern!” 2010 much?

It’s not even worth breaking down into small bites; just open this TPM article, move your eyes around the screen for 10 seconds without reading any of it, and let the sublime sense of racism and insanity overtake you.

(And yes, Sue Myrick, you dumb sack of shit, nice find with that secret “strategy memo” from CAIR which lays out its very terrorist-y plan to target its lobbying operations — WHAT IT DOES AS A WASHINGTON ORGANIZATION — at members of the “judiciary, intelligence, and homeland security committees,” the ones that FUCKING DEAL WITH FUCKING AMERICAN-ISLAMIC RELATIONS, WHICH OVER THE LAST EIGHT YEARS ONE MIGHT DESCRIBE AS “POOR.” WE BET AIPAC DOESN’T DO ANY LOBBYING OF THIS NATURE. WE BET AIPAC WOULD NEVER TRY TO INFLUENCE AMERICAN FOREIGN POLICY OR MAKE CONTACTS ON CAPITOL HILL. Anyway.)

Citing Work Of Right-Wing Intern Spy, GOP Accuses Muslim Group Of Infiltrating Hill With Intern ‘Spies’ [TPM]

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About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

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75 comments

  1. user-of-owls

    Intern spies? What in bloody hell sort of ‘intelligence’ do they gather? Coffee preferences? Is that it? The Taliban is going to poison our Splenda supply?

  2. nbawriter

    “They have interns planted in the Capitol! How do we know? Because we have interns planted there!

    “Hypocrisy? Well … they did it first! Oh, wait … no, we did. Um … 9/11!”

  3. rmontcal

    Let me get this straight: the people who infiltrated an organization and worried about organizations being infiltrated?

  4. memzilla

    Once again, the ‘Thuglicans spot an emerging demographic and promptly alienate them.

    Cthulhu Jeebus, at this rate, in fifty years the only people voting for the GOP will be Kang and Kodos.

  5. JMP

    I like the quote from WorldNetDaily: “The book begins as a real-life, heart-pounding thriller”. Yes, it’s just like a James Bond movie; we all remember the heart-pounding scenes of Connery photocopying S.P.E.C.T.R.E. documents. But this kid did us a great service; who could suspect that the Muslims were up to the sinister work of lobbying? Why, they’re trying to act like normal human beings, with rights and everything; this cannot stand!

  6. SayItWithWookies

    Wait — the party that first sounded the alarm about death panels and the FEMA concentration camps and Obama indoctrinating our children is now blowing someone’s normal behavior totally out of proportion? Golf Tango Foxtrot Oscar.

  7. Naked Bunny with a Whip

    I wonder how it feels to be so crazy racist. Does it feel good at some level? That’s hard to imagine, yet people cling to it hard.

  8. sowbelly

    So they used a lying covert mole intern to expose the lying covert mole interns that are fixin’ to take over the entire guvmint from the bottom up and they are wasting time with a PRESS CONFERENCE? When the situation calls for UNILATERAL ARMED INTERVENTION?

    What pale anemic patriots. Chuck Norris would cry.

  9. Gopherit

    There’s a Cohen Brothers movie in here somewhere….

    Trent Franks looks like he’s missing a chromosome, and Shadegg looks like a slug trying to fit into Newt Gringrich’s corpse. Between these two and Jake Foxtrot Flake, I wouldn’t blame the rest of you if you firebombed the whole foxtrot state. Just give me 5 minutes to pack and warn Raul Grijalva.

  10. Canmon (the Inadequate)

    This is the most boring story involving interns and penetration since Letterman’s.

  11. Native of SL UT

    Why the worry. Don’t they realize that while these Islamic interns are interns that they have to forgo the “UP” from the traditional Islamic “Blow Up?”

  12. Hooray For Anything

    But how could one accuse the Republicans of being racist? Abraham Lincoln was a Republican! Jackie Robinson was a Republican! Some random dude who signed a bill along with a whole bunch of Democrats was a Republican! Look at the web site sheeple!!1!

  13. RoscoePColtraine

    Just take the “Room Where We Keep The Nation’s Soul” off the facilities tour on New Intern Orientation Day. Problem solved.

  14. Noodle Salad

    This is going to be a security blanket for the GOP the next time someone Mark Foleys a page or intern. “He was a Muslin spy!”

  15. pampl

    i’m not sure comparing yourself to The Jews is the best way to convince people you arent secretly conspiring

  16. Extemporanus

    [re=436062]JMP[/re]: The book is exactly like The Falcon and the Snowman, only with more scenes set at Kinko’s and Burger King.

  17. JMP

    Also, the whole thing is reminiscent of one the GOP’s worst moments – “I have in my hand a list of two hundred and five people that were known to our spy as being members of the Muslim religion and who nevertheless are still interns working and shaping the policy of the Congress”

  18. problemwithcaring

    I had a adjunct prof at GW (a higher up at the Naval Academy) tell us about Pentagon wingnuts who jack off to the fantasy that all the Somali parking attendants in DC are al Qaeda sympathizers and infiltrators, waiting for the precise moment to take down the capitol from the “inside” (by coordinating a simultaneous attack of LOT IS FULL signs…? idk, he never said.)

  19. One Yield Regular

    This is like showing up with a copy of Marabel Morgan’s “The Total Woman” and demanding an investigation into who’s not behaving lady-like to their husbands.

    Incidentally, I met Sue Myrick once in funeral home (true story, though the details are truly uninteresting). I was not impressed. My dead mother in the next room looked more vivacious.

  20. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=436054]rmontcal[/re]: “Infiltrated.” It’s such a sinister, insinuating word.

    - Agent X infiltrated the dentist’s waiting room and procured recent copies of The New Yorker
    and Field & Stream.

    - Officer Y, acting undercover, infiltrated the donut shop and gained intelligence on the street price of a dozen old-fashioneds.

    - Our reporter, posing as a school parent, infiltrated the 2nd grade field trip to the Marine Life Center, and took these shocking photographs of 7-year-old children fondling starfish in full view of their teacher, who did nothing to stop them.

  21. KilgoreTrout_XL

    I only looked at their website for a minute and now I think I feel myself growing a fuzzy beard WITH NO MOUSTACHE PART. Holy fuck I think I’m muslin now.

  22. snideinplainsight

    “I have here in my hand a list of 205 — a list of names that were made known to the Secretary of State as being official Muslin interns and who nevertheless are still working and shaping policy in the Council of American Islamic Relations.”

  23. Catholics4Condoms

    Oh, so they can infiltrate a muslim lobbyist organiztion posing as a WASP convert to Islam, but they can’t infiltrate Mothra Freaking Al Qaeda?!?

    I can tell you why a right-wingtard would infiltrate Al-Qaeda; they are all a bunch of Papa Uniform Sierra Sierra India Echo Sierra!

  24. Cicada

    Which is worse, that these idiots object to CAIR being allowed to lobby like every other group, or that they are seriously citing a book called “The Muslim Mafia” as a source for their objection?

    Good gravy, these people are elected representatives. They get paid to make decisions that affect our foreign policy .

    I think I just crapped my pants.

  25. Gopherit

    [re=436160]Cicada[/re]: Remember, the only two things that you aren’t required to test into as a US Citizen are gun-ownership and elected office. I always find that to be a comfort.

  26. Darkness

    I just want to know if this investigative “intern” was wearing faux fox fur and sunglasses while at work.

  27. coolcatdaddy

    Why does this sound like the conspiracy theory making the Internet rounds a few months ago that illegal aliens were crowding over the border so that Mexico could reclaim the southwest US as their territory?

    Why does this make me appalled that these people actually vote for these Republican things?

  28. Poopley J. Crandleberry

    Holy Shit.

    So you can be a pretend muslin and get a real life job? Think they post for these on idealist?

  29. AnnieGetYourFun

    Actually, CAIR is an awful organization that deserves to be infiltrated and destroyed. But Republicans… I mean, it’s in their platform to be racist, hateful child-molesters, is it not?

  30. KilgoreTrout_XL

    I am currently resisting a very strong urge to buy seven burquas.

    Sound CAIR-raid alarm pls.

  31. mardam422

    This is how it starts. First the muslim intern brings the Congressman coffee with one sugar instead of two. The Congressman is unable to stay awake for the vote on House Bill 6667 (The bill to not allow muslim cab drivers). It doesn’t pass. Next, those muslim cab drivers sequester all of their taxicabs and fit them with flamethrowers sticking up out of the trunk.

    I think you can see where this is going.

    WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!!!1

  32. PoignancySelz

    [re=436066]qwerty42[/re]: I don’t know about anything he’s doing Watergate-style, but Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, aren’t they worried about that tophat?

  33. Citizen Kang

    [re=436057]memzilla[/re]:

    …the only people voting for the GOP will be Kang and Kodos.

    No…just Kodos.

  34. comicbookguy

    [re=436155]Catholics4Condoms[/re]: Does Al Qaeda have any internships open? I’ll check craigslist.

  35. badmuthagoose

    Normally I don’t say much about people’s outward appearance. Low-hanging fruit and all that. But I was listening to this clip while doing some work and I happen to look up right at 1:32.

    The….person? who starts talking just then actually made me jump. Then, in looking at him further, I cringed.

    What is wrong with him? Why did I feel so cold looking upon his visage?

  36. DangerousLiberal

    [re=436051]ChernobylSoup v2[/re]: My very first thought when I read this. Not only fail, but EPIC FAIL. Maybe she’s trying to get on teh Faux Nooze again.

  37. dijetlo

    We’ve been looking for the “peak wingnut” event but sadly, I don’t think this is it. The didn’t actually execute a Muslin intern at the press conference in retribution for infiltrating the Congress, so…the perfect storm of wingnuttery continue to build.

  38. LeonardHatred

    All that video proves is that Trent Franks is still a MEGA HOTTIE!!!!!!!!

    OMG HAWT MELTY FACE LOLOLOL!!!!

  39. BeWoot

    Hah! Gaubatz! That’s what my wife call my, er, member.

    Yessir, I am so proud to be an Arizonan. If you’re countin’ Krazy Kongresspersons, even Oklahoma ain’t shit compared to us.

  40. Dreamer

    Jim, I am loving the righteous indignation thingy you did there. On behalf of my terrorist cousins thank you!

  41. artpepper

    Everyone knows the only people allowed to “influence” the legislative “process” are insurance company executives.

  42. drpangloss

    “I have in my hand a list of 52 secret Muslims that work in the whitehouse”

    How long? Not long. Won’t be to much longer till some wingnut in either party starts the witch hunt. Let’s face it the dems still harbor a few too.

  43. Barrelhse

    Those crafty muslins! And they woulda got away with it, except these 4 guys are Vigilant!! (vagi-lint,also.)

  44. LowerdPeninsula

    This is so embarrassing for us as a country. I wish I could snark, but I can’t. Everytime I hear a conservative, these days, plead that “we’re not all like that”, my only response is that enough of you are like that to totally morally compromise the entire modern conservative movement. Aren’t we supposed to be appealing to each other’s better angels, instead of our readily present and easily awakened demons?

    Fuck the GOP, and the oversized, undersexed elephant they rode in upon.

Comments are closed.