Republican Arizona congressperson Jeff Flake spent the week on a desert island, literally, and someone asked him how this made him feel. Well, truth is, Jeff Flake hasn’t felt like a man since leavin’ the ranch. Nope, it’s impossible to feel like much of a man at all, with this fancy humans-only society-livin’. “I’ve felt like a pansy, I guess, and this made it feel like I was actually doing something again.” Like, he didn’t feel like such a queer again, on account of all the nature and shit. “Congressman Flake didn’t realize that that word can have a negative connotation. He simply meant ‘wimpy.’ He apologizes if anyone took offense to it,” said his spokesperson. Does this look like the face of a pansy to you?? [Ben Smith]
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{ 82 comments }
Looks more like a leg-humper to me.
Did someone redact the linking verb in that there headline?
As a pure-blodded wimp, I find your apology extremely offensive, sir.
Heh. “Pure-blooded.”
Wimps can’t spell for shit. And they’re funny looking.
The question is rhetorical, right?
No, that face cold screams “I’m a bottom”…
Seeing how he spent his week on the island repeatedly posing for shirtless photos, I think we went in pansy,and came out one, too.
When those kids in 7th grade called me a pansy ’cause I couldn’t play sports for shit, they knew that they really wanted to say “fag.” Which I wasn’t, but still…. So this guy doesn’t know what the word means? Asshat.
Answer, Jeopardy-style: What is “Hell Yes?”
gay face
He didn’t realize the word can have a negative connotation? First: He was using it for its negative connotation. Second: what adult American male doesn’t know what that word connotes? I think it was a requirement for years that coaches of boys’ sports had to scream the word at players. So, if you are going to try to cover your ass after the fact, Flakeboy, do it credibly.
Oh, and Jeff, if you don’t want to be a pansy, have the balls to apologize yourself, OK?
Hiking the Appalachian trail = boning an Argentinian lady
Spending a week alone on a desert island = 7 days of nothing but wanking
[re=435616]ph7[/re]: and he said he was on the island ALONE, with only minimal provisions. So who took the photos, and with what? He MacGyvered up a cocoanut camera on a palm tree tripod?
[re=435620]DangerousLiberal[/re]: They couldn’t call you a fag in 7th grade? What a bunch of pansies.
Jeffy was born in Snowflake, Arizona. End of discussion.
I dunno. He seems rather Flakey to me.
Pitcher or catcher?
You felt like like something you can buy for 2.99 in the outdoor garden center at the Homos’ Depot? How can that possibly be, given that you hail from that dry-ass clump we call the state of arid zona? At the Depot the miraculous hidden misters administer water from time to time, and that, sir, is how pansies are grown. But in the arid zona, there are no misters. Just missuses. Oh, now I get how you’re a pansy.
The problem is that when at home, he wears his pansy suit — footie pajamas with a big, gorgeous, artificial pansy sewn to the breast. When he was on the island, he was gloriously naked! Flake.
He looks like the closeted guy at the party who goes out of his way to look like he’s trying to pick up girls.
If you really want to get your manhood back, go to an island where you can hunt “the most dangerous game.”
He probably should’ve said “Nancy boy”. Or, in young people speak, nancy boi.
Does this look like the face of a pansy to you??
Yes.
This is Glenn Beck’s Republican Party. They’re all pansies now. Also they’re all Rush Limbaugh. Whereas.
That is a serious case of gayface.
“Jeff Flake”? Really? Wow.
Coincidentally Rep. Pansy is trying redact his comment about him being a flake.
[re=435641]iolanthe[/re]: look at his whole-body shots. Maybe Playgirl will let him do a pictorial with Levi?
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/10/11/AR2009101101760.html
Oh, and alt text for this pic? “Yeah, kids used to beat me up and take my lunch money in school.”
[re=435626]Doglessliberal[/re]: According to the CNN article, “minimal provisions” included sunscreen (a suggestion made by… wait for it… John McCain), a satellite phone (to call his wife), a desalinator so he could have fresh water, and a snorkeling kit complete with spear and net (to catch him some Chicken of the Sea, presumably). No word on whether or not he brought a soccer ball that he could decorate with a face so he could have someone to talk to.
Flake, pansy, what’s the difference?
I wouldn’t call him a pansy. More of a petunia.
No, he’s not TOO gay! Got to be rough being a little “light” in your cowboy boots when your’re from the “Skidmark State.” You’ll do all kinds of dumb shit to deny it, like spending a week on an island playing wak-a-mole with your wang 24/7. Jeesh!
Jeff Flake has destroyed thousands of lives with his pansy comment. Waiting for news that he hasn’t voted in the past 25 years. Because voting is for pansies.
Rep. Matthew McConaughey (R-AZ)
[re=435647]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: what a pansy.
The gray tufted varicose-vein testicle set is HUGE in his area. The have survived circuit parties on less than two bumps and a Snapple. Poor Jeff is dead meat.
Well, he shouldn’t have spent all that time when he came back in the Tucson Greyhound terminal trolling the men’s room stalls. I know when I do that, I definitely feel like a queer!
Highlighted hair? Check
Bleached teeth? Check
Plucked eyebrows? Check
Conclusion: Pansy is as pansy does.
[re=435632]Clancy_Pants[/re]: Pinch hitter.
Pansy? I kind of feel a little sorry for the guy if he had to apologize for that.
Do they sell sympathy pairs of Mormon underwear that you can gift for a guy?
[re=435647]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: (Joe) Wilson!!!! YOU LIE!
[re=435628]S.Luggo[/re]: Shouldn’t he have ten or so slightly-related siblings?
[re=435655]hobospacejunkie[/re]: he meant to say “panzy” –like he’d been spending too much time immersed in styrofoam
It’s not the living amidst the heights of modern convenience that makes you a pansy, Jeff. It’s the intern frosting all over your face.
Just use a wide stance and let your freak flag fly high. It’s only a matter of time before the Republicans elect so many closet cases that they have to back you guys up in public.
[re=435626]Doglessliberal[/re]: To be fair, he was sharing the island with Sally Lightfoot crabs, which seems appropriate somehow.
He looks like he masturbates to magazines.
[re=435688]magic titty[/re]: So he’s bipartisan?
[re=435661]progressiveinga[/re]:[re=435645]Doglessliberal[/re]: Not to mention that he apparently works out a lot and wears those skin-tight workout shirts when he’s wearing a shirt at all.
I guess his constituents are stupid- since the rest of us know he knows what pansy means.
[re=435708]Doris Ziffel[/re]: not that there’s anything wrong with that
[re=435666]qaf[/re]: Yeah, and they all look like this: http://pbskids.org/teletubbies/noflash/coloring/tinkywinky.gif
The irony is, the pansy is an incredibly hardy flower that blooms amid the snow.
Jake Flake is a delicate flower.
BTW: Alan Grayson has major hatred for Representative Flake.
http://grayson-for-congress.blogspot.com/2008/04/us-senate-unanimous-against-genetic.html
Is this the beginning of a sex scandal? Because its been a pretty boring start to Cocktober so far. Just saying.
I’m offended by ‘wimpy’. Now I’ll never vote for that pansy.
Does this look like the face of a pansy to you??
Not so much the face as the hair. That’s definitely pansy hair.
Tres Ghey, I’d say.
Yes, we guess that working as a federal Congressman isn’t really “doing anything.” Yes, that’s correct, that’s accurate. So please resign from office today, since you’re not really doing anything. And let someone take the office who feels like they are really doing something. Maybe you can write a book about spending a week on an island and eating fish, crab and coconuts. Maybe it’ll even be turned into a movie, starring, maybe, Tom Hanks. But, it should be noted, Tom Hanks is not a pansy.
Ya know, I can see his point. He’s been called a flake all his life and he probably never realized it was an insult.
When I see his photo I envision a Craiglist posting that says:
Will clean your toilet with my tongue for insults and spankings.
Well, he can’t say he felt like “flake” clearly, so what else was left?
Poofter
Hook him up with Meghan.
[re=435644]WarAndG[/re]: Ahh! Hot miso soup everwhere!! You bastard.
/yeah, he’s a pansy
Hm. I would have said “hockey player on vacation in Hawaii” if you hadn’t gone and ruined it by telling me he’s a politician.
Just say “candy-ass” because everyone likes candy.
This entire posting is rampant botanism. Why do animals insist on disseminating devastating caricatures of plants? Is a pansy any less in God’s eyes than a moose? (okay, it’s slightly less funny…) Until plants have equal rights, all of our rights are diminished. Tokenism is no longer enough — electing vegetables like Jeff Flake or Michele Bachmann to Congress won’t suffice. And while we’re at it, let’s change his name to Jeffrey Avalanche for using the p-word.
In related news, Congressman Pansy dealt with being a flake.
Jack Tripper meets early 90s gay porn set to music by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, i.e., a pussy bottom.
Is that his publicity shot from his tour with “Up With People”?
I wasn’t quite sure based on the portrait, but this picture (http://www.theawl.com/2009/10/congressman-insincerely-apologizes-to-flowers) convinced me: THIS pansy wouldn’t mind being on a desert island with THAT pansy!
What a flake.
This post was just equal opportunity to all our gay friends, re: Meg’s tatas.
He also looks more excited than a fag in a locker room.
Any pansy or flake that has a worked-out body like that has got to be gay.
Fuck. As I was skimming my Wonkette I saw that pic before I even read the headling and thought “pansy.”
I mean, how did that guy make it out of high school?
I’m sure he doesn’t feel like a pansy. But I’ll bet you feels pretty. Oh, so pretty. He feels pretty, and witty and . . . well, this is a much easier set-up than a “got a rocket in your pocket” reference. And yes, I enjoy the occasional show tune. What of it?
Closeted weirdo in a wind tunnel!!
“uh, what I really said was chimpanzee, you know, I was climbing the trees and, uh, eating bananas and stuff”.
Mormon political dynasty scion heiress.
I’m a bit embarrassed to say that I didn’t know the connotation of the word until I was probably a teen, and played “Smeer the Queer” at recess (a kind of primative football/rugby hybrid for those that don’t know) during my elementary school days thinking of the name of the game as practically one word, and/or having no idea what a ‘queer’ was.
At this guy’s age, however, he’s just bold-facedly lying.
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